The Right Question Is Better Than the Answer

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The right question

“Judge a man by his questions, rather than his answers.”

~Voltaire

Sometimes the right question is more important than the answer.

When we ask a question, especially to ourselves,  we expect an answer. We all want answers. But sometimes, asking the right question is more important than getting an answer.

Questions often contain beliefs. So when we ask a question that has a belief hidden in it, we will get an answer that is confined by that belief.  So you want to ask the right question to get an answer filled with possibility.

For example, say you make a mistake, then ask the question “What’s wrong with me?” The question contains the belief that there is something wrong with you. You might not think there is, but ask that question enough times and your subconscious mind starts accepting that belief. Here are answers you are likely to get:

  • Because you’re an idiot
  • Because you always screw it up
  • Because you are a loser

There is no access to possibility in these answers.

Another example:  “Why is this bad thing happening to me?”

The question assumes the belief that something bad is happening to you. It suggests that you are a victim to circumstance.

Possible answers based on that belief:

  • You deserve to be punished
  • You are unlucky
  • God hates you

Do you see how these two questions are not good questions to ask, even lightly?

After all,  what’s wrong with you might be what causes you to make the mistake that wakes you up and transforms your life.

And that negative thing that happened to you? Maybe it happened for your own good and what you learned saves your life someday. What if, on some level,  you drew that experience to you? We have to consider that possibility, don’t we? That what is happening to you is just you?

But you’ll never even get close to what is possible for you if you don’t ask the right question.

Instead of “Why is this happening to me”, the right question might be: “What is the reason I brought this experience to me?” That questions contains the hidden belief that you created that experience for a reason, perhaps for learning and wisdom.

Now, it may not be “true” that you created your experience for learning and wisdom. But it seems like a helluva better question for creating the possibility of learning and wisdom.

The right question might also be:

  • What can I learn from this experience? or
  • What is being shown to me from this experience? or
  • Why am I having this reaction to this experience?

Instead of “What’s wrong with me?, the right question might be:

  • How can I avoid this mistake in the future? or
  • What can I learn from this mistake? or
  • What’s right with me right now in the face of this mistake?

The right question can always be asked in a number of different ways.

The right question can be so powerful it doesn’t need an answer.

Sometimes, just asking the right question opens the mind and makes it available to receive information, although perhaps not specific answers.

For instance, take the big 3 questions of existence:

  • Who am I? (creates the possibility for self knowledge and self awareness)
  • Why am I here? (assumes the belief that I have a purpose for being here.)
  • Where am I going? (assumes that belief that I have a destination after death)

These are powerful questions. You can spend the rest of your life pondering these questions and never get an answer. (Most folks don’t bother.)  However, if you are diligent in asking these questions with clear intent, it’s possible that you will come to see things that most people don’t see. Some of the mysteries of the universe might be revealed to you. How could they not?

I don’t want to get too philosophical, I’m simply suggesting that language is powerful and that asking the right question will determine the quality of what you receive.

  • Instead of “What’s wrong with people?” ask “What is it about us humans that produces that behavior?
  • Instead of “Why can’t I get it right?” ask “How can I get the result I want?”
  • Instead of  “Why can’t I be successful?” ask “What are the actions I need to take to be successful?”
  • Instead of “Why does this always happen?” ask “How can I keep this pattern from occurring so often?”

To make this a powerful consciousness-raising exercise (assuming you are interested in such a thing) get in the habit of asking the right question. Whenever you ask a question, ANY question, step back and ask yourself “Is this the right question to ask?” If asking the question opens the door to possibility, you know that you have asked the right question.

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com episode 59

Ted

Personal Power: How to Increase Your Ability to Affect the Universe

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“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, Therefore all progress is made by the unreasonable man.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Personal Power is your ability to take action. It is the use of your life force to affect the universe in a way that suits you.

We are not born with much personal power, yet, we attempt to assert it as soon as possible. We cry, we grasp, we refuse, in an attempt to meet our needs. As soon as we are able, we touch what we want, take what we want, put it in our mouth, bang it on a table, and throw it away when we lose interest.

Our personal power is dependent on our belief systems.

Our ability to use our personal power  to get our needs met is soon limited by our socialization. We are taught from an early age what we cannot and are not allowed to do.

Eventually, we see ourselves at the effect of the universe, instead of the other way around. We blame circumstances outside of ourselves for our inability to get what we want. Soon, we come to believe that to exercise our personal power, we must be reasonable and act according to established rules about “how things work.” We accept these rules as facts, but for the most part, they are beliefs.

At a seminar I was attending, the seminar leader held up a 20 dollar bill. “Who wants this 20 dollars?” she asked. Everyone raised their hands. “Who wants it?” she asked again. Some people started answering “Me! Me! I do!”  She continued to hold up the 20 dollar bill. “Who really wants this 20 dollar bill?”

I stood up and grabbed the 20 dollar bill out of her hand and immediately felt like I had done something wrong. In my belief system, grabbing something out of someone’s hand in public is not acceptable.  Turns out she was waiting for someone to come and take it.

Our personal power is depleted by our emotions.

Often when we act on an intention, we’ll encounter resistance or obstacles. These trigger emotions of frustration, anger or futility, which rob us of our personal power and keep us from attempting in the future. We have thoughts that “This shouldn’t be happening” or “It should not be hard”. We then end up in the weakened position of not being able to accept what is right in front of us, robbing us of the opportunity to learn and increase our personal power.

Our personal power is depleted by other people’s energy.

Other people’s opinions, comments, approval or lack there of can drain us of our personal power if we let them. Negative ways of being that other people exhibit regularly can suck our personal power like vampires. Even more inhibiting can be “no-possibility” cultures existing at work or in the family.

Ten ways to increase your personal power.

  1. Adopt the belief that you can affect the universe. Why not?
  2. Cultivate the habit of taking an action immediately when the need hits you. This might be writing something down, making a call, sending an email or making a plan.
  3. Declare yourself blocked and immune to other people’s negativity.
  4. Decide to do something boldly audacious or unreasonable. Tell everyone you intend to do it “As God is my witness’ or “Come hell or high water.” In spite of their opinions and/or nay-saying, deliver.
  5. Start doing something worthwhile every single day that you are not doing already. Resolve to do it daily until the day you die.
  6. Practice saying no to petty distractions or obligations that promise to derail you.
  7. Practice asking repeatedly until you get what you want at the risk of being annoying.
  8. Decide on something you want that will be not worth the inconvenience to get it. Be willing to inconvenience yourself just to get it.
  9. If you find yourself unable to exercise your personal power because of some “rule” or “fact” tell yourself: “What if this is just a belief? How do I know it’s true?” (Note: all facts are beliefs and no belief is true.)
  10. Take an action that will require great effort and accomplish it without emotion. Refuse to get emotional about any of it until you accomplish it. Then celebrate.

“Everything we do, everything we are, rests on our personal power. If we have enough of it, one word is enough to change the course of our lives. If we don’t, the most magnificent piece of wisdom can be revealed to us and that revelation won’t make a damn bit of difference.”

~Don Juan, from Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com Episode 60

 

10 Strategies to Avoid Failure

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How to Avoid Failure:

 

  1. Never try. If there is even a chance of failure, don’t even attempt it. Play it safe to avoid failure. If you can’t win them all why win any?
  2. Play small. To avoid failure, don’t go for anything audacious or exceptional. Stay average. Don’t stand out. Don’t call attention to yourself.
  3. Stay in your comfort zone. It if involves discomfort or the unknown, avoid failure by staying the hell away. Stick with what is known and familiar.
  4. Always let fear dictate your actions. If fear of failure shows up, there’s a good chance failure might happen. To avoid failure, let your fear stop you. Stay home and hide out.
  5. Put “always looking  good” at the top of your standards. Failure doesn’t make you look good, so if you are always focused on looking good, you can avoid failure. After all, looking good is very important to many people, isn’t it?
  6. Never be willing to grow or learn. This almost always involves failure, which almost always involves growing and learning, so stay stunted.
  7. Never set goals. Only 3 percent of people set goals by writing them down. Those 3 percent will experience failure, you can bet.
  8. Never dream. Be practical. Avoid failure by never getting  in over your head or biting off more than you can chew.
  9. Don’t put anything at stake. You can avoid failure by never losing anything.
  10. Totally hate on stuff that goes wrong.  To avoid failure, you don’t want anything to go wrong. You want to be in control of everything at all times.

ps. Interestingly, these are the same strategies to avoid success.

pss. If you are interested in being  successful in any way, you can probably do that by doing exactly the opposite of the above. If you need help, click here. 

To hear my podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com Epidode 64.

Ted

 

Super Productivity Top 10 Tips

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Productivity

Super Productivity is productivity that not only allows you to get stuff done but to feel super about it.

I have an aversion to pain and suffering.If it is Painful Productivity I don’t want any part of it.

I was reading a blog post that featured some productivity wisdom by Tim Ferris, author of the international best seller The 4-Hour Workweek. I was gratified to see that of the six tips he offered, I always teach 5 to my clients who want to increase productivity.

I’m expanding my thinking these days, so instead of 5,  here are Ted’s Top Ten Tips for Super Productivity.

1. Start the day centered and grounded. Jim Rohn said “Either you run the day, or the day runs you.” How you start the day will affect how your day goes. If you wake up and you are already rushing around and running late, the day is running you. Give yourself some space to be prepared mentally and feel super  in the morning, even if it means getting up earlier to exercise, read or meditate.

2. Write down your goals the night before. Make your to do list the night before. Plan to start the next day with the most important things that will make the biggest difference, or start with the hardest. This way, you move into the day with momentum and the feeling of productivity and being super!

3. Keep yourself fed and watered. I have an avocado tree and a tangerine tree in my back yard. If I don’t water them and feed them, they don’t produce. Same with you.

4. Have a routine or a system. Develop a habit of productivity by using a system that works for you. It might include a Franklin Covey type planner, Outlook tasks, or one of the many online tools available. I use the Pomodoro Technique and a daily calendar sheet with my list that I carry around in my shirt pocket. Not very high tech but it super works.

5. Prioritize tasks. Some days you are not going to be able to do it all. Prioritization maximizes your productivity and focus so that you get the most super important stuff done. Roll the non-essential stuff over to another day.

6. Pay someone to do those things that are not worth your time. What can you take off of your plate by paying someone else to do that gets paid less per hour than you do? For 10 bucks week, my super gardener does in 45 minutes what it used to take me 3 hours to do.

7. Work simultaneously instead of sequentially. Instead of working on something  for four hours, work on it for an hour and half, then another project for an hour,  then another for an hour or so.  Be moving a number of projects forward a the same time. Waiting to start the next one until the current one is done is a super productivity killer.

8. Get rid of distractions. Turn off email, Facebook and silence your phone while you are working on a task. These are the biggest time vampires that will suck the productivity out of you. Work for an hour, then take 15 minutes to return calls or email. One guy I know has a phone message: “I return calls between 4 and 6 pm”, thus setting the expectations of his callers as to when their call will be returned. Guard your time like the super precious asset it is.

9. Be ok with failure. Dan Kennedy says “Success is cooked up in a messy kitchen.” Don’t wait for conditions to be super, or perfect, or for your desk to be organized or the moon to be full. Just start and keep moving forward. Things might get screwed up, you may need to scramble, improvise, or start over. Sometimes that’s what it looks like.

10. Take a break. Being super productive doesn’t mean killing yourself or not spending time with loved ones. Productivity doesn’t necessarily mean struggle either. Play some music, take a walk, call a friend, eat some ice-cream, then get back to it refreshed and renewed and feeling super good!

Need help with productivity or procrastination? I’d love to help you. Click here to contact me. And, to hear my podcast of this blog, check out my podcast TedinYouHead.com episode 65.

Your companion on the path to possibility,

Ted

 

Self Hypnosis Class Starting June 14: Master Your Mind

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Self hypnosis

Why is permanent change so hard?

The answer is because only 12% of your mind (conscious) wants to change.  Your subconscious mind, which is 88% of your mind, wants to stay the same. What your subconscious mind wants is based on your childhood conditioning, past experiences and beliefs.

You have the ability to change your subconscious programming using self hypnosis.  You’ll have an opportunity to learn self hypnosis at my upcoming Self Hypnosis for Success Class at Pasadena City College starting June 14th. Click here to register.

Self hypnosis is  used by celebrities, athletes, performers, business people, salespeople, and entrepreneurs. Why? Because they know that to achieve high level success in any endeavor, you must master your mind. You must take control of what you think, because you become what you think about.

 Learn Self Hypnosis for Success!

  Self Hypnosis for Success begins Saturday, June 14th from 9 am to 10:30 am at Pasadena City College and continues for the next two Saturdays (6/21 and 6/28). To register, click here.

Master your mind using self hypnosis to:

  • Have the correct mindset and attitude for success in business and personal life.
  • Get rid of procrastination that keeps you stuck and in a rut.
  • Feel less self-conscious and more relaxed and confident in social and professional situations.
  • Increase sales through higher confidence and less call resistance.
  • Get relief from stress, anxiety and fear.

Master your mind and put it to work for you! Click to register 

In Self Hypnosis for Success, you will learn:

  • How to put yourself into hypnosis.
  • How to use the power of  suggestion to re-program your subconscious mind.
  • How to put it all together to create a mind conditioned for success in just a few minutes a day.

If you are one of those people who know that the quest for self improvement is never ending, you’ll want to register for Self Hypnosis for Success by clicking here.

Hope to see you on June 14th,

Ted

Image by Skye Moorhead

Exploring the Music of Your Life

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Music of your life

Sie klingen nicht das gleiche! (They do not sound the same!)

I just finished an online course exploring the 32 Beethoven piano sonatas. ( I was a music major in college.)

Before the course started, I purchased a collection of all the sonatas and started listening to them. I enjoyed them because I like classical piano music. But they all sounded the same to me. Each one was like the others.

The class started and I learned what a piano sonata is (a solo piano work in one or more movements). I learned why they are called sonatas (first movement is usually in sonata form).  I learned to identify movements in rondo, variation and scherzo forms.

Soon, I was able to distinguish the unique characteristics of each of the 32 sonatas. I began to recognize the repetition of certain musical patterns. I came to understand how Beethoven constructed his most important sonatas in ways that stretched the boundaries of  classical composition established by Haydn, his teacher,  and Mozart.

Before I took the Beethoven course, the sonatas would’ve made nice background music. Now, I can appreciate them for the genius that lies within them, the underlying structures so precisely crafted, and the musical themes that allow us to know Beethoven through the emotional content of his music.

This exploration of Beethoven’s music gave me distinctions. This is the basic pattern of learning. We attempt to understand something, and as we continue to explore, we begin to develop various distinctions, which allows us to see more clearly into a thing or situation.

If you are a chef, you have distinctions for cooking that most people don’t have, such as bard, parboil and zest. If you are a building contractor, you can look at a building and identify things that non contractors don’t see, like astrigal molding, blind stops and collar beams.

Exploring the music of your life is your own personal development.

Once you begin to explore the music of your life, that is, to make a study of your own process in an attempt to understand why your life “sounds” the way it does, then you can begin so see more deeply into how your life is constructed. More importantly,  you can identify aspects of your life that flow, and those that do not.

You might learn what triggers you to anger, what makes you sad, and what leaves you powerless. You can identify hidden fears that keep you stuck in patterns that are not pleasing or beneficial to you.

Now you have some distinctions about the music of your life. Amid the noise of our lives we can now hear what stops the flow and creates disharmony. Then, we can become attuned to the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that resonate with the right vibration that allows us to create our lives as masterpieces.

However, this involves a conscious choice to study the music of your life that you have created so far and to understand why it exists in the form that it does. We make this choice out of a desire to create lives of greater harmony,  fulfillment, or excitement. Most of us have the feeling that a radically different experience of life is possible, but we don’t have the distinctions necessary to get there.

Until we choose to create our lives on purpose, we are composers without paper, chefs without recipes and contractors without blueprints. We are at the mercy of what life delivers to us without knowing what do do with it, and we can end up dancing to a tune that doesn’t resonate with us. 

But once we take full responsibility for our life with the aim of exploring what is possible, we can ask “How can I bring together all the parts of the music of my life in a powerful way?” instead of “Why is everything out of tune?”

George Bernard Shaw said “Life is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”

Are you creating yourself by purposefully composing the music of your life so that the parts fit together beautifully and harmoniously?

Or does the noise and din of your existence make you wish you were deaf? If so, then begin with an exploration of the music of your life. Start with one part that is not in harmony and seek to understand why that part is out of tune.

Devote a month to studying that part of your life, whether it’s your marriage, your job or your internal (mind) experience. Read books and talk to experts. Develop distinctions such as “When this happens, I always do this” or “Thinking about doing that shuts me down” or “I really don’t like this part of myself at all”. Be honest and non-judgmental. The goal is to begin to distinguish what is working and what is not.

The music of your life well lived is the highest art. As Ludwig said: ” Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets; art deserves that, for it and knowledge can raise man to the Divine.”

Ted

The Hypnosis of Belief

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hypnosis of belief

Sir Tristram and la Belle Ysoude drink the potion by Dante Gabriel Rosetti

Dante Gabriel Rosetti was a famous 19th century poet and artist. One day, he was approached by an old man.

The man had some sketches that he showed to Rosetti . He wanted Rossetti to tell him if they were any good.

Looking at the drawings with his expert eye, Rosetti knew right away that they showed no sign of artistic talent. He told the man as much in the most kind and gentle way he could.

The elderly man seemed disappointed but accepted the artist’s verdict.

“May I ask for once more for your opinion?” asked the old man as he showed Rosetti  the work of a younger artist.

Rosetti agreed and looked over this new set of artwork.

This time, however, he could see incredible talent and potential in the drawings.

“These are quite good,” said Rosetti. “This student possesses great talent. If he works hard at his art, his future will be bright. He should be given every opportunity and encouragement to succeed as an artist.

The old man became silent upon  hearing these words.

“Is this young artist your son?”  asked Rosetti.

“No,” said the old man with great sadness.  “This is my work from 40 years ago. A teacher told me back then that I had no future as an artist and I believed him.  I got discouraged and gave up…too soon.  If only I had heard your encouragement then.”

The hypnosis of belief is the invisible hand pulling upon your strings.

It will determine what you do and don’t do. All belief is a form of hypnosis. If you are told something enough times by someone you trust and believe, you will accept it as fact and act accordingly.

  • If you believe making lots of money is a sin, then you will stay poor.
  • If you believe that your cause is worth fighting for, then you will fight and maybe even die.
  • If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can’t you won’t.

There are few universal truths that stand on their own. Almost all of what we hold to be true is true only because we believe it. We are under the hypnosis of belief.

Our beliefs are mostly created by ideas given to us again and again by authority figures such as parents and teachers. It’s not long before we can only see the experiences that support and keep those beliefs in place.

How do you know that we are on a planet in a solar system held  together by a force called gravity? You don’t. Someone told you and you believed them. (Gravity is a theory and has not been “proven”)

So what’s the point?

Once you understand the hypnosis of belief, and that all belief is hypnosis, then you accept that your belief is not truth and is subject to change. So now, you are free to believe whatever you want, as long as it works for you, which means that your belief influences your actions in a way that gives you the life you want.

Second point: you get to evaluate and choose what beliefs work for you, and in the process, let go of beliefs that don’t resonate with you any longer. You understand that as you grow in wisdom and experience your beliefs should change.

Third, and most important, you become cause in the matter of your life. You become the creator of your life. You become responsible for your own beliefs, because you chose them. Then, based on those beliefs, you behave or take actions in a way that creates the life you desire.

However, most folks have it backwards. They take actions that don’t work, based on the hypnosis of beliefs that are outdated and no longer in alignment with their desires. This is a recipe for frustration and unhappiness.

Most of what I do as a hypnotherapist is to de-hypnotize people from the hypnosis of beliefs that create unhappiness such as:

  • I can’t quit smoking. 
  • I can’t lose weight.
  • I’m too afraid to do that.
  • Life is a struggle. 
  • I’m not good enough.

These are all beliefs that when taken as truth, will stop you cold. Changing those beliefs can allow you to move forward.

I challenge you to try this exercise. Write down all the things you believe are true. Write down your most cherished beliefs. Next to each one, answer the question: how do I know this? Examine, and question each one. If it’s time to let one go, do so. If it works for you, keep it. If it’s something you need to think about some more, then do that. You will probably never free yourself from the hypnosis of belief, but you can be aware of it and make it work for you.

The most important thing is to be awake and refuse to abdicate your own authority to anyone or anything. This is your life. You get to choose what to think and believe. Choose wisely.

Ted

The Power of Your Beliefs

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The power of your beliefs

Once there was a young man sitting on a park bench worried sick. He owned a business and had gotten himself into a huge amount of debt.

He could see no way out of his predicament. He was being harassed by his creditors and his vendors were demanding payment.

Suddenly, an old man sat down on the bench next to him.

“You look like you have the weight of the world on you, young fellow,” asked the old man. “What’s wrong?”

Happy to share his problems with someone, and with nothing to lose, the young business owner told the old man about his dire financial situation as the stranger listened in silence.

When he was finished, the old man said, “I believe I can help you… what’s your name?”

Quickly pulling out a checkbook, the old man wrote out a check and pressed it into the hands of the young business owner.

“I’ll meet you here in exactly one year and you can pay me back then. I believe you can do it!”

With that the old man slipped away as quickly as he’d come.

The young business owner looked closely at the check. His jaw dropped in disbelief as he realized that it was a check for $500,000 – signed by John D. Rockefeller – at the time, one of the richest men alive!

The young man knew that check would erase his money troubles in an instant! But after thinking about it for a moment, he decided he would put the un-cashed check in his safe for the time being.

Just knowing that he had a check for $50,000 gave him a renewed feeling of optimism and energy about saving his business.

With a huge boost to his confidence, he renegotiated the deals with his vendors to buy some time.

He negotiated with his creditors as well for much lower settlements than what he owed.

Now that he had a little breathing room, he closed several big deals. Within a year, he was back on his feet again and was running a successful business.

Exactly one year from when he met the old man, the young man went to that same park bench. In his hands was the un-cashed check.

Right on time, the old man also arrived at the park bench.

“Dear sir” began the young man as he started to hand over the un-cashed check to the old man. Just then, a nurse came running up behind him.

“I hope he hasn’t been bothering you,” she exclaimed. “He keeps slipping away from the rest home and telling everyone he’s John D. Rockefeller! I’m SO sorry!

With that the nurse led the old man away, leaving the young man completely  flabbergasted.

For an entire year, he had been wheeling and dealing with faith and power because he believed he was backed by half a million dollars – given to him by one of the world’s wealthiest men!

Of course, it was simply his renewed sense of confidence that gave him the power to achieve his goals.

Where did this renewed sense of confidence come from?

  • Not from more money in the bank.
  • Not from a radical change in his skills or talents.
  • Not from anything outside of him changing.

His renewed sense of confidence came from the only thing the old man gave him: a new belief which replaced the belief that he was defeated.

This belief was not based on reality. It was not a belief he cultivated nor consciously chose. It was given to him in the form of a useless piece of paper. But because of this belief, he was able to radically change his life.

You just have to stand in awe of the incredible power of beliefs.

Like the young man, most of our beliefs are given to us. We did not choose them. They are hand- me- downs. And we take them for unchangeable truths. But the nature of beliefs is that they can change.

You’re going to believe in something. That’s the nature of who we are as human beings.

The only question you have to ask yourself is this: “Is this belief working for me?”

Today is the first day of Spring, so why not do a little spring cleaning? Ask yourself:

  • “What beliefs about myself do I need to rip up and throw away?”
  • “What new beliefs about myself do I need to create to get what I want/need?”
  • “What beliefs about life don’t work for me anymore?”
  • “What beliefs can I create that will give me a happier, more fulfilling experience of life?”

If there are blocks holding you back from what you want, they are usually outdated beliefs. If you need help identifying then and letting them go, give me a call. I believe I can help you.

Ted

Belief: The Tie That Binds, The Wings that Soar.

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320px-Jumbo_and_Matthew_Scott

One day a man was strolling through the circus. As he passed by the elephants, he noticed that the only thing that prevented these huge animals   from running away was a small chain attached to a collar around their leg. The chain was tied to a little peg hammered into the ground. The man thought to himself “Surely, that small peg can be easily pulled out by this 10 foot high creature. Is this safe?”

The man approached the elephant trainer and inquired as to the skimpy method used to hold the elephant.

“Yes, it is safe” the trainer replied. “When the elephants are babies, they are tied in the same way except using a metal stake deep in the ground. This is enough to hold the baby elephants. Tempted by the world outside, they try to break free again and again, but the chain pulls them back and inflicts pain on their legs. They learn that any effort to escape is futile, and they soon give up trying altogether.”

The trainer continued “Now, as a big elephant, it remembers the pain it felt as a baby. It remembers that as hard as it tries, it cannot break free and can only go so far as the chain will allow. It has long given up trying to escape, so we need only secure it with a small peg in the ground. It does not matter that this elephant stands 10 feet high, weighs 14,00o pounds, and can easily pull the peg out and trample both of us. The memory of its limitation prevails.”

The man walked away shaking his head. One of the world’s strongest animals, able to uproot trees and destroy villages, held captive by a skinny chain and a small wooden peg.

The parable of this story is obvious. As human beings, we are often no smarter than elephants.

We believe in limitations that keep us prisoners. We hold painful memories that keep us taking risks. Because we have failed once or twice, we have stopped even trying.

You have to cut elephants some slack. As big as they are, their brainpower doesn’t even compare to what we have under our hood. We should know better.

But we often don’t. We treat our self imposed limitations as truth. But they are not truths. They are simply beliefs about what is possible for us. And your beliefs can change. Now. Today.

After ten years in private practice as a hypnotherapist, I’m still amazed by the power of belief and it’s ability to bind us or set us free.

I’ll be examining the power of belief in the next few posts. I’d like to hear about how your beliefs occur to you and how your beliefs have changed if at all. I invite you to step back and see your beliefs as beliefs instead of truth and what impact they have on your life. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

Ted

Integrity: The Glue That Holds Your Success Together

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I built a model airplane when I was a kid. The instructions said to use modeling cement which we didn’t have. I asked my mom if she could buy me some. She said sure, we’ll go tomorrow.

But I was impatient. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. I wanted to build the plane today. So I got the white Elmer’s Glue, and that’s how I built my plane.

When the glue was clear and dry I picked up the plane by one of the wings and the wing broke off. That really upset me so I glued it back and used scotch tape to hold it. While I was dealing with that, the propeller fell off. Soon, all the parts were coming off because you don’t use white glue to build a model airplane. You use cement.

My plane had no integrity. It had all the parts, except the part that mattered most of all: the right kind of glue to keep it together.

You can have the greatest plan, the most sincere intentions, the most brilliant idea, but if you don’t have the integrity to bring it together and keep it together, it just won’t fly. Or worse, after it gets airborne, it will come crashing to the ground.

Integrity is the ability to be your word.

It is the integration of your words and your actions.  With it, your words can move mountains. Without it, even though your talk is cheap, very few will buy it.

 Can you keep your agreement to be somewhere at an agreed upon time? If you can’t, it sends the message loud and clear: this person can not be counted on to keep his agreements.

Do  you honor your financial agreements by paying your bills on time? If you don’t guess what happens? Your credit score  announces to the world: you can’t count on this person to pay back money that they borrow.

Do you do what you say you are going to do? If you do it once, probably no one will notice. Do it five times, people start to respect you. Do it one hundred times and you become dependable. Do it every single time and guess what happens?

Your word now has power. When you speak, people listen. If you say it’s going to rain, people start buying umbrellas, and if you say it will flood, they start building dams. Need funds? A handshake will get you millions.

Now you show  up in the world as a rock, unshakable in your ability to gather people and resources, to move and inspire people to action. Just say the word and people will fight for you and die for you because they know you make things happen, because every time you said it was gonna happen, it did, sure as the day follows night.

But your ability to have this kind of integrity doesn’t start with showing up on time and paying your bills or keeping promises to people. Nope. Those are just the outward signs.

The power of integrity and the force that it wields starts with keeping your word to yourself. It grows from the integration of your own thoughts, words and deeds. It means you are whole, that all the parts are working together in unison and that your promises to yourself are not scattered to and fro by circumstance, but instead, are constructed to stand solidly in the face of breakdowns, obstacles, and the winds of change. You develop a degree of trust in yourself that knows neither fear nor doubt.

Want to tighten up your integrity? Want to start using a stronger glue?

  • Start waking up at the hour you say you will, everyday except one day. Do it come hell, high water, or late night parties.
  • Start showing up at the agreed upon time.  All the time.
  • Set an easy goal with a deadline. Accomplish it. Set a harder goal. Accomplish it. Set an audacious goal. Accomplish it.
  • Start taking 3 daily actions that you will do every day. EVERY DAY. Regardless of whether you want to or not or whether it’s convenient or not.
  • When you commit,do so with full responsibility of choice that you will show up. If you can’t, don’t.

It takes practice. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. You do what you say you are going to do.  Your speech and actions cemented together and taking wing on the power of your word: that’s integrity.

Ted

For a podcast of this blog, go to the Ted in Your Head podcast, Episode 27.