What’s The Deal with Affirmations?

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Affirmations

Many people think that the practice of saying affirmations is kind of a new agey, hokey thing. (Maybe they saw that affirmation guy on Saturday night live …) However, I think they can be very powerful as a technique for programming your mind for achievement of your goals.

I’m no biblical scholar or even an avid reader of the bible, but there are two passages that I think speak to the power of affirmations.

First, in the Old Testament, Moses wants to know God’s name. God says his name is “I AM”.

Second, the Gospel of John: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

A definition of God could be “the Creator.”  To me, the message is clear: Word is the creator. And the creator’s name is “I am.”

Even if you don’t believe anything in the Bible, I think we can agree that words, or language, are powerfully creative. We create with our language, not only by what we say, but by what we think, and we think mostly in language.

Both philosophers and shamans agree that our world is created through language. The Buddha said, 2500 years ago:

” We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.”

I use this idea of creative language to help my clients achieve their goals through the use of affirmations. I listen carefully to the language they use to describe their challenges. This gives me a clue as to their belief systems. As a hypnotherapist, my job is to help them create beliefs that help them get what they want. I do this by using the power of suggestion (language) while they are in hypnosis.

But, I also teach them how to use the power of suggestion on themselves.

Remember that language is creative. Well, it’s also hypnotizing. To put a person into hypnosis,  all I need to do is talk to them.

And that’s how beliefs are created. Someone tells you something over and over again when you are highly suggestible (such as when you are a child) and you believe.

This is how television advertising works. While you are in a highly suggestible state (watching television) you receive repetition and reinforcement of the belief that you need a particular product.

You can also talk yourself into a belief. People do it all the time. The only question is: Are those beliefs working for you? If not, you can talk yourself into a new belief.

I think one of the most powerful tools to do this is through the use of affirmations.

Using Affirmations.

Affirmations are declarations that something is true. But how does something become true? We affirm over and over again until we believe it. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t really matter except for how that belief affects us.

I help my clients develop new and empowering beliefs outside of our sessions by having them affirm the new belief over and over again. The key to learning anything is repetition and reinforcement.

What words will they use to affirm their new beliefs? Well, it’ll start with, you guessed it, “I am…”  For example, “I am confident and trust in my ability to achieve my goals.”

They might say “But that’s not true!” But it doesn’t matter, because an affirmation is not meant to be true. It’s a tool to get the subconscious mind familiar with new ways of thinking that’s empowering. If they say it enough times and with a high degree of emotion while in a suggestible state, it will become their new belief, and this will shape their actions.

Why?  Because the subconscious mind (88% percent of your mind by some estimates) will always move you towards what is known and familiar. So I use affirmations to help my clients’ subconscious minds get more comfortable with what they want and less comfortable with what they don’t want.

The technique I give my client is very simple. Come up with three affirmations, say them out loud every morning and night, (times when you are very suggestible) and hand-write them once each.

Have you ever heard someone say “Talk is cheap”? That’s simply not true. The truth is that people cheapen talk by using language that is dis-empowering.

Consider that every day you speak your world into existence and that talk is not cheap but quite valuable. So why not use this simple little technique to begin to speak into existence the world that you want to experience?

If you would like more information about how to use affirmations, just call me or email by clicking here. After all, talking the talk is good, but sooner or later, you gotta walk the walk.

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to http:www.tedinyourhead.com

Ted

The Story of The 2 Boxes and Releasing Limitations

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releasing limitations

Let me tell you the story of the 2 boxes.

There are 2 boxes that exist in everyone’s life.

The 1st box represents a person’s actual limitations.

For instance, I will probably never play center for the Los Angeles Lakers.

Why?

Because I’m not 7 feet tall, and don’t play basketball.

See?

That’s an actual, physical limitation.

And of course, everyone has this box in their lives.

However, there’s a 2nd box that exists in everyone’s lives – and this 2nd box represents a person’s PERCEIVED limitations.

This 2nd box is created by all the doubts, fears, and insecurities a person has.

  • “I can’t ever be relaxed and have fun…I have too much anxiety…”
  • I can’t make a lot of money… I just not greedy enough…smart enough…motivated enough…”
  • “I can’t be in a relationship…too many issues…too much fear…”
  • “I can’t ever be confident enough to speak in public…I’m just too nervous…”
  • “I can’t ever quit smoking…I just don’t have the willpower…”

The sad part?

The 2nd box is usually MUCH smaller than the 1st box!

Meaning, it’s often our own doubts, fears, and insecurities that hold us back from claiming the success we desire so much!

Meaning, you are capable of so much more than you think you are!

Meaning, you can overcome most – if not ALL – of the challenges you come across in whatever it is that you choose to take on.

But most people let their self-imposed 2nd box create an imaginary barrier between them and their success and happiness!

The reality?

This 2nd box usually doesn’t exist!

So the next time you encounter a challenge on your way to doing what you really want to do, have or be, think of the 2 boxes.

Is your challenge created by a real limitation?

Or are you constraining yourself with a self-imposed 2nd box?

Now, there are many tools and resources available to help you begin releasing limitations and vaporize your self-imposed 2nd box.

You just have to be aware of these resources when you come across them.

Releasing Limitations Using the Moreno Method

For example, you can give me a call, and using the Moreno Method for Life Transformation, I can help you start releasing limitations that are holding you back.

I’ll ask you to make a commitment to yourself to take action on your dreams, goals and desires.

Afterwards, I’ll send you home with a recording to listen to that will begin to reprogram your mind for success at whatever you choose to do.

I’ll even call you to check in and provide accountability and coaching.

So if you’ve ever been frustrated that you can’t even get started down the road to doing what you really want to do, whether it’s gaining confidence, getting healthier or making more money, then that reasoning has just become a 2nd box limitation.

I want to help you vaporize that 2nd box so that it never stops you again.

Then you can now simply reach out and claim your success.

Questions? Want to talk about the possibilities that exist for you after releasing limitations? Click here to get in touch with me. Time to get out of that box!

To hear a podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com episode #71

Ted

Go Back to School and Always Be Learning

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Back to School

Welcome to another edition of “Scribblings from Close of the Ground”, wisdom from the mouths of babes, namely, Rocky and The Chick, my two daughters who are back to school.

Go Back to School!

C: We just started school, I’m in third grade now. Everyone says it’s going to be hard. They make us do a lot of math.

R: I’m starting first grade. I know how to read already.

C: I hate it when I don’t know how to figure something out, like a math problem.

R: She starts crying!! Like a baby!

C: Rocky!!! I just don’t like when it gets hard, I just want to just go watch tv.

R: She’s a couch tomato…

C: It was really hard going back to school. It was like my learning muscle was weak.

R: Dad says that when he went back to school it was hard for him.

C: Sometimes I don’t want to go to school but dad says if you aren’t choosing what to learn than the world will give you lessons you might not like.

R: Like the School of Hard Rocks!

C: It’s the school of Hard Knocks, Rock.

R: That’s what I said.

C: Dad says that learning is uncomfortable, and if you are comfortable, you’re not learning anything. You have to learn to learn. He says that learning is discovering, and that most people stop learning after they leave school, and if you learn to like learning, you will always be learning and growing.

R: But if you learn too much your head might explode…

C: Be quiet Rock, no it won’t. Dad says you should  always be learning something. This way you’re brain doesn’t rot.

R: Like a pumpkin after Halloween.

R: So you should always be learning.

C: I’m also learning piano and I’m getting better at math. That’s what my piano teacher said would happen.

R: So you should not waste your brain because if you don’t use it it shrivels up like a raisin, then you are a raisin brain.

C: Don’t be a raisin brain. Always be learning, even it is uncomfortable!

R: Go back to school! Always be learning!! Even if it makes your brain hurt!

 Rocky and the Chick

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Procrastination and the Ape of Accountability

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Procrastination Gorilla

Procrastination used to own me. Until the Gorilla came along.

It was 1982 and I was an hour late turning in a final paper for a college English class. “Sorry” the instructor said. “You’ve just flunked. You must repeat the class.” “No way!” I exclaimed. “Way” he said.

At that moment, a Gorilla in a suit and tie grabbed me from behind, threw me on the ground and stomped all over me.

“What the…?” I croaked feebly from the under the dust.

“Allow me to introduce myself”, said the merciless brute. “I am the Gorilla, at your service. For a small fee, I will inflict massive pain on you if I find you procrastinating.”

“Uh, you’re hired” I mumbled as a I put my shoulder back in its socket.

Around that time I had just got back my car from someone who had been using it in another state. The registration and insurance had expired and payments hadn’t been made in 4 months. I knew I had to deal with this but procrastination got the best of me for about a month. One day I got pulled over by a cop and got a ticket for $350 including an expired  drivers licence. A week later, I walked out one morning and my car was gone. While I was wondering what happened to it, the Gorilla came out of nowhere and tackled me, mowing me over like a hairy freight train.

Yes, I once suffered from procrastination. Until it got too painful. Some stuff I was able to get away with, but with the big stuff, the adult responsibility stuff, the Big G was always there to inflict major pain for my procrastination.

I’m better now at motivating myself to accomplish most things, but not everything.  Give me a new project that I’m unfamiliar with and you can bet that procrastination will rule. That’s why the Gorilla works for me.

I fear him.  But I fear procrastination more, so sometimes I make that dreaded call.

“Hey G” I usually start with.

“Need your butt kicked?” I  hear him smiling over the phone.

“I’m hoping to avoid that.”

“If hope is your strategy,  then I will mop my floor with you. Tell the Gorilla what you are trying to accomplish.” he’ll say sarcastically.

“I’m trying to write a book”

“Ah so, taskhopper, taking on something big,  are we? Unusual for you to step so far out into the unknown.”

“That’s why I need your help. I need to get the book written and uploaded to the publishing site by Tuesday night. I cannot afford procrastination.”

“Very well. You know I’ll be watching. And I will come for you if…”

“Procrastination” I say feebly.

“I will mangle your self esteem. I’ll destroy your momentum and stomp on your dreams. I will crush your integrity into dust. And I will carve a giant L into your forehead, Inglorious Basterds style.”  I hear a click and the line goes dead.

I got the book uploaded at 2:15 am. Technically it was Wednesday morning, but it was still night and I guess that was good enough.

Sometimes I’ll get a glimpse of him driving by my house in his Jag, or I’ll catch him watching me through the window while I’m sitting in Starbucks…reminding me that there’s a dark angel dealing dire consequence, should I find myself mired in procrastination.

Dealing with Procrastination

You may not have a scary beast to frighten you into action when procrastination has you shackled. But there are two very powerful things that you can do: make yourself accountable and put something at stake.  Here are some tips:

  • First: create a deadline. There must be a date on your calendar as to when you will complete the project. Break it down into phases and schedule in time when you will work on it every day. Make sure it’s written down.
  • Next, put something at stake.Take a hundred dollar bill and give it to someone you trust. Tell them that if you don’t produce on time they get to keep it.  If you complete on time you get to spend the hundred bucks rewarding yourself. Most people will take much more action to keep from losing $100 then they will to earn it. Or give your word professionally to put your reputation at stake.
  • Create accountability with a person or a group. Each person puts in writing what they are going to accomplish by when. You can check in on each other regularly to keep each other on track. Whoever misses the deadline or doesn’t finish first buys the other(s) dinner or a night out on the town.
  • Create a scenario of frightful consequences. This is a mind technique. The most extreme example I’ve heard of is a guy who imagines that terrorists are holding a gun to the head of his wife and kid, and if he doesn’t complete his project on time they will die. That’s uh, pretty extreme but I guess it works for him. You might imagine yourself out of a job, or failing the class, or people laughing at you. Pain is a great motivator.
  • Some people are more motivated by pleasure. In your mind you can imagine all the wonderful benefits that will come to you if you complete on time. Or again, you can figure out some kind of reward for yourself. Make sure to set that up, putting some money aside or making a reservation for a trip or dinner.
  • Hire a real coach. Pay money to someone whose job is to push you and hold you accountable.
  • Call Ted A. Moreno.  Not only will I hold you accountable, but we’ll also use the tool of hypnosis to train your brain for action and productivity. I’ll call you every day if that’s what you want, but I promise not to beat you up.

The key to getting things done is to put something at stake. It could be pain or pleasure, it could be preserving the quality of your word or the desire to avoid embarrassment. But there must be something, some compelling reason to take action or you won’t do it.

Take it from me, I learned these lessons out in the jungle, at the hands of the Ape of Accountability.

If you liked this post, please leave a comment and/or share it with your social networks.  

Ted A. Moreno

Thomas Edison Did Self Hypnosis and So Can You

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Thomas_Edison2That dour face in the photo above would be Thomas Edison, the most prolific inventor in history, holding 1093 patents in his name just in the U.S.

Thomas Edison used self hypnosis on a regular basis. You can too! Click here to register for Self Hypnosis for Success starting January 24th at Pasadena City College.

It’s said that many ideas for inventions came to him while he was in hypnosis. While he was in self hypnosis, he would hold marbles in his hand. If he went too deep and fell asleep, the marbles would fall on the ground and wake him up. Then he would put himself back into self hypnosis and invent more stuff…

If you are local to the Los Angeles/Pasadena area, there’s still time to register for my Self Hypnosis for Success.

Self Hypnosis for Success begins Saturday, January 24th from 9 am to 10:30 am at Pasadena City College and continues for the next two Saturdays (1/31 and 2/7) . To register, click here.  Learning self hypnosis might not turn you into an inventor but you just might sleep better, be more relaxed, and make more money. Click here to register!

All hypnosis is, is a state of focused concentration and heightened awareness. You are awake and aware. You are also very suggestible, which means you can give yourself suggestions that will go into you subconscious mind and allow you to change your behavior much easier.

Click here to register and you’ll learn

  • How to put yourself into hypnosis.
  • How to use the power of suggestion to get your subconscious mind in alignment with your goals and desires.
  • How to put it all together to create a mindset for success in just a few minutes a day.

Learn to use  self hypnosis to create a new mindset for 

  • Success in business and personal life.
  • Beating procrastination and taking action.
  • Feeling less self-conscious and more relaxed and confident in social and professional situations.
  • Relief from stress, anxiety and fear.

Give your mind the edge it needs to make 2015 your best year yet. You can create a success mindset: Reserve you spot: register for Self Hypnosis for Success starting on January 24th at 9 am at Pasadena City College.

Ted

Do You Know What You Stand For?

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Undergrowth with Two Figures, Vincent van Gogh

One summer I went on a river rafting vacation through the Grand Canyon. It was a week long trip rafting on the Colorado River and camping out surrounded by the ancient rock that is the Grand Canyon. You can get your perspective tweaked a little on one of these trips…

When vacation was over, I returned to my job selling used cars at a dealership in Tucson, Arizona. When I arrived for work it was already over 100 degrees. As I looked out over the lot, heat waves shimmered and the sun’s reflection off the top of the cars was literally blinding.

My mind went back to one morning in the canyon when I awoke before dawn. A thin sliver of moon was being kept company by a single star, probably a planet. All was silent save for the sound of the river flowing.

“You’re up Ted”, one of the salesmen said, shaking me out of my day dream. It was my turn to help a prospective car buyer.

I just stood there. “Go get ’em!” the salesman said. I stood looking out over the field of metal and asphalt. “You can have it” I replied. I turned around, went straight to the managers office, and quit. Read more

Scribblings From Close to the Ground: “It’s Supposed to Be Hard.”

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Welcome to another edition of “Scribblings from Close of the Ground”, wisdom from the mouths of babes, namely, Rocky and The Chick, my two daughters.

C: Hi, The Chick here!

R: and I’m Rocky, we’re Ted’s daughters and we know some stuff!

C: We’re both in school now, that means we’re smart.

R:We’re smart little farts!!

C: Rocky!! Remember what Mom and Dad said about saying fart!

R: Oops, sorry…hee hee

C: Rocky is learning about bears in school and I’m learning about reading and math.

R: She doesn’t like math.

C: Sometimes when I don’t understand it, I don’t want to do it anymore.

T: She starts crying! Wahhh! Then Dad has to get up and drink an adult beverage…

C: Rocky!! I just get really mad that I don’t understand it sometimes. But Dad says it’s supposed to be hard.

T: Dad says sometimes you must suffer…

C: But you don’t have to suffer if you understand that it’s supposed to be hard and that’s how we learn. Dad says that if you expect it to be easy…

R: …then you must suffer! Suffer! Hahaha!

C: Chill out Rocky! Dad explained to me that learning something is always uncomfortable and if you’re comfortable, then you’re not learning.

R: Dad says you have to perkiss.

C: It’s “persist” knucklehead!  If you keep trying, you’ll figure it out and then you know it, and it gets easier. The worst thing is to give up because it’s hard, because it has to be hard for a while while you learn.

R: I want it to be easy always.

C: Then you’re the knucklehead because that’s not how it works.  If  you want it to be easy all the time then…

R: (singing operatically) You must suffer! Suffer! Suffer!

C: You have to practice not giving up or whenever it gets hard you’ll quit and be a loser.

R: (puts Loser “L” Fingers against forehead.)  Loser! You must perspist!

C: Anyway, now that I know that it’s supposed to be hard, I don’t get so mad anymore and you know what? I’m doing better at my homework now because I’m not afraid anymore. I know that I can figure it out if I keep on trying. Dad says I have more conference, I think that’s what he says…

R: She does her homework really fast now so she can watch SpongeBob.

C: So the marlo of the story is that if you want to learn anything, it’s going to be hard and that’s ok, don’t give up, you’ll figure it out and don’t be scared just because it’s hard. Have  conference, um, I think it’s confidence…and persist.

R: And don’t want it to be always easy and cry and give up and be a loser because that means…

R and C: You will suffer!! Bye!

Rocky and The Chick

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16 Ways to Have Balance in Work and Family

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800px-Wonderland_Walker_2

My oldest daughter, whom I affectionately refer to as the Chick, recently learned how to ride her two wheel bike. It took a few miles of Dad huffing and puffing, running behind her while holding her bike. Then, one day, she got it. She got balance. Once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to work that way with achieving balance in life. Lately, many folks have said to me :”I just can’t seem to get balance in my life.” Striking the perfect balance between work and play, solitude and relationship, and activity and rest seems to be elusive for many, yet most see a real need for balance.

Balance requires requires personal inventory. You actually have to sit down and ask yourself: “What do I need in my life to keep me feeling grounded, healthy and happy?” If you can get clear what those things are, then you can begin to create strategies to have them in your life more often.

Life is like a pendulum. There are times when you will have to spend more time at work, and other things will have be to put aside. There will be times when your regular workout schedule will be consistent, then something will happen to derail you. The key to balance is to keep the pendulum as close to the middle as possible, realizing that sometimes that will not be possible. When it’s not, you’ll want to swing it back to the other side as soon as you can. Balance is the difference between “I’m too busy now to exercise” and “I’m busy now but I have planned time in a week to get some exercise.” It requires awareness, intention and a plan.

Here are 16 things to think about to bring more balance into two areas of life: work and  family.

Work:    

  1. Plan the night before. Jim Rohn said “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” Start running the day the night before by making a list, prioritizing, and having a plan. Make sure there is gas in your car, your lunchbox is packed, you know what you’re going to  wear and the coffeepot is ready to rock and roll.
  2. Eat regularly. Nothing upsets balance like not having the proper nutrition in place. Don’t skip meals. Avoid the candy bowl or donut box.  If there is a fridge at your work, put healthy snacks in it.
  3. Take breaks. If you work for someone else you are entitled to breaks. Take them. If you work for yourself, work in increments such as an hour or two hours, then take a 10 minute break. If you sit at a desk all day: every hour get up and MOVE your body.
  4. Get to work on time, leave on time, if at all possible. It’s said that nobody on their death bed ever said they wish they’d spent more time at the office.
  5. Don’t let technology sabotage your productivity. If you can close email for periods of time, do it. Choose not to answer the phone if you don’t have to and close email when you need to focus. Designate blocks of time when you will check email and return phone calls, as well as allowing people to interrupt you. If you can, hang a sign such as: “Sorry! I’m not available to speak to you now but will be happy to do so at 2:30.”
  6. Steer clear of the drama queens and kings. Don’t sacrifice your peace of mind and blood pressure to knuckleheads that want to instigate, agitate or pontificate.
  7. Do whatever you can to find work that is enjoyable and fulfilling. Otherwise, there will never, ever be balance, nor satisfaction, nor fulfillment nor happiness. Life is too short to spend one third of your life doing something you hate.

Family (can mean you and your spouse and kids, or your parents and siblings, or extended family.)

  1. Have a goal as to what kind of parent, child or sibling you want to be. Write it down. Strive to live up to your goal or commitment and attempt to be clear when you are not.
  2. Express appreciation daily to those you love. We all feel taken for granted at times. Let those who are important to you know.
  3. Communicate. Let your family members know what you need for balance. Practice asking for what you want and need in a way that allows it to be heard and honored. Be authentic with your feelings: “I feel (hurt, happy, disappointed, sad etc.) when you say that.”
  4. Transition time. Give yourself transition time between work and home. I kiss my wife and kids when I get home then go straight to the bedroom to get into comfortable clothes and reset my mind for family time. Allow yourself some time to change hats or roles.
  5. Schedule family time to spend together. Have a night where everyone is present for dinner. Or designate one day a month when you take your mom out for lunch or call your parents or hang our with your brothers and sisters. Have a date night with your spouse. Aim to have fun with your family.
  6. Safeguard your family’s health. Take a stand for your health, as it can influence the health of your family. Are you taking care of you? Are you buying nutritious food for your family? Is your home safe and well protected? Smoking, heavy drinking, drama, complaining, or the need to let everyone know how unhappy you are is not healthy for you or your family.
  7. Take time away from the kids with your spouse, take time away by yourself. Schedule alone time.
  8. Manage your time. There are only so many hours in a day and only so many things you can do. You may be wearing many different hats: parent, child, spouse, in-law, brother or sister. Try to get balance between what you have to do and what you want to do.
  9. Ask for help. The days when it was shameful to seek counseling are thankfully fading into the past. No one does it on their own. We all need help sometime.

You may not always be able to have balance, but like riding a bike, once you know what you need to do to get back in balance and practice that, you’ll never forget!

The Ebb and Flow of Life

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starfish on the beach

Last month I was watching a documentary titled “The Love We Make”, which followed Paul McCartney as he organized the The Concert for New York City benefit concert in October of 2011.

As I watched, there were things that McCartney did that I found interesting. Now, unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last 20 years, you know that McCartney is one of the most famous musicians on the planet, recognized everywhere he goes, and one of the richest men in England. He’s also a former member of that musical group that changed the face of popular music. Yet, he seems pretty normal and well adjusted, seemingly able to avoid the pitfalls that a lot of famous performers fall into.

What I noticed is that backstage and in his dressing room, Read more

What You Need When You Don’t Know What to Do

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474px-The_Valley_of_Diamonds_by_Maxfield_Parrish

If read many articles or blogs in print or online, you may have noticed many  that start with “10 easy ways to…” or “43 things you should…” or “3 step formula for…”

Why are there so many articles and blogs that start this way?  Because readers respond to them.

They respond because we are all looking for those x number of steps, for the magic formula, for the specific directions that will tell us how to get what we want. We read self help books, go to seminars, subscribe to the magazines and follow the gurus or religious traditions hoping we will get the road map to peace, happiness, success, or fulfillment.  Of course, there are a lot of people willing to tell you that they have the secret you are searching for. Read more