Exploring the Music of Your Life

Music of your life

Sie klingen nicht das gleiche! (They do not sound the same!)

I just finished an online course exploring the 32 Beethoven piano sonatas. ( I was a music major in college.)

Before the course started, I purchased a collection of all the sonatas and started listening to them. I enjoyed them because I like classical piano music. But they all sounded the same to me. Each one was like the others.

The class started and I learned what a piano sonata is (a solo piano work in one or more movements). I learned why they are called sonatas (first movement is usually in sonata form).  I learned to identify movements in rondo, variation and scherzo forms.

Soon, I was able to distinguish the unique characteristics of each of the 32 sonatas. I began to recognize the repetition of certain musical patterns. I came to understand how Beethoven constructed his most important sonatas in ways that stretched the boundaries of  classical composition established by Haydn, his teacher,  and Mozart.

Before I took the Beethoven course, the sonatas would’ve made nice background music. Now, I can appreciate them for the genius that lies within them, the underlying structures so precisely crafted, and the musical themes that allow us to know Beethoven through the emotional content of his music.

This exploration of Beethoven’s music gave me distinctions. This is the basic pattern of learning. We attempt to understand something, and as we continue to explore, we begin to develop various distinctions, which allows us to see more clearly into a thing or situation.

If you are a chef, you have distinctions for cooking that most people don’t have, such as bard, parboil and zest. If you are a building contractor, you can look at a building and identify things that non contractors don’t see, like astrigal molding, blind stops and collar beams.

Exploring the music of your life is your own personal development.

Once you begin to explore the music of your life, that is, to make a study of your own process in an attempt to understand why your life “sounds” the way it does, then you can begin so see more deeply into how your life is constructed. More importantly,  you can identify aspects of your life that flow, and those that do not.

You might learn what triggers you to anger, what makes you sad, and what leaves you powerless. You can identify hidden fears that keep you stuck in patterns that are not pleasing or beneficial to you.

Now you have some distinctions about the music of your life. Amid the noise of our lives we can now hear what stops the flow and creates disharmony. Then, we can become attuned to the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that resonate with the right vibration that allows us to create our lives as masterpieces.

However, this involves a conscious choice to study the music of your life that you have created so far and to understand why it exists in the form that it does. We make this choice out of a desire to create lives of greater harmony,  fulfillment, or excitement. Most of us have the feeling that a radically different experience of life is possible, but we don’t have the distinctions necessary to get there.

Until we choose to create our lives on purpose, we are composers without paper, chefs without recipes and contractors without blueprints. We are at the mercy of what life delivers to us without knowing what do do with it, and we can end up dancing to a tune that doesn’t resonate with us. 

But once we take full responsibility for our life with the aim of exploring what is possible, we can ask “How can I bring together all the parts of the music of my life in a powerful way?” instead of “Why is everything out of tune?”

George Bernard Shaw said “Life is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”

Are you creating yourself by purposefully composing the music of your life so that the parts fit together beautifully and harmoniously?

Or does the noise and din of your existence make you wish you were deaf? If so, then begin with an exploration of the music of your life. Start with one part that is not in harmony and seek to understand why that part is out of tune.

Devote a month to studying that part of your life, whether it’s your marriage, your job or your internal (mind) experience. Read books and talk to experts. Develop distinctions such as “When this happens, I always do this” or “Thinking about doing that shuts me down” or “I really don’t like this part of myself at all”. Be honest and non-judgmental. The goal is to begin to distinguish what is working and what is not.

The music of your life well lived is the highest art. As Ludwig said: ” Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets; art deserves that, for it and knowledge can raise man to the Divine.”

Ted

Masters of Self Deception

Self deception

“To thine own self be true” said Polonius the deceiver, in Hamlet.

Sometime in the 90’s while I was living in Tucson, AZ, I decided to become  an independent insurance agent. Someone had shown me an opportunity to make money and get residuals and all that good stuff, and since I had no clue what to do with my life at that point, I signed up. 

I went through the training and started going to the sales meetings. I thought the guy that had signed me up was a knucklehead but he seemed to be making money. I took the insurance test and got my license.

However, I had yet to make an appointment to see someone to sell insurance. This was an in- home deal where you go to people’s houses and check out their policies. I just never got around to actually calling someone and going to their house.

 I would go to the team meetings and the other agents would ask me “So, when are you going to get your first deal?” “Soon” I assured them. I told the team leaders not to give up on me, but never made a single appointment to see someone to try to sell them life insurance. I started to feel like a real loser.

Eventually I had to stop my self deception. I said to myself “Self, this is not going to happen. The truth is I have no intention of ever selling life insurance.” I said adios after wasting a lot of time beating myself up.

 Richard Feynman, the American physicist said: The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Have you ever

  • Been in a relationship that you knew would not last but tried to convince yourself it would?
  • Been in a job you knew was not right for you but kept hoping it would get better?
  • Kept putting of taking action hoping a situation would resolve itself until it got so messy you had to do something?

If so, you know what self deception feels like.

Why are we such masters of self deception?

Why is it so easy to fool ourselves? It’s because we have a tendency to believe what we think. But there is often a vast difference between what we think and what we know to be true.

Deep down inside, I knew I was kidding myself about being an insurance agent.  If I had stopped and asked myself “What am I doing?”,  I would have been able to see my self deception: that I was just going through the motions with no intention to see it through.

So how do we figure out that we are involved in self deception?

We don’t figure it out. Because it’s your mind that wants to deceive you in the first place. Bob Dylan said “You cannot depend on it to be your guide, when it’s you that must keep it satisfied.” We can’t count on the thing that’s deceiving us to reveal our own self deception. It’s like seeing your own eye. Not gonna happen.

We can identify self deception by the way it makes us feel. If we give ourselves the opportunity, we will feel our own self deception. Chances are, others around us are feeling it as well.

We’ll use logic to justify our actions in spite of what we feel. This way we can ignore the voice inside that is asking us “What the hell are you doing?”

Feelings come and go. But when they come and refuse to leave, than it’s time to pay attention.

Here is a good rule of thumb: if you are caught up in self deception, you will experience struggle and conflict.  You might be getting sick a lot, feeling tired and ill at ease. The bigger the self deception, the bigger the lie you are telling yourself, the crappier you will feel.

If you are true to yourself, stuff just seems to flow. There may be challenges, but we can meet them with grace and ease.

Are you getting the feeling that self deception has you blind, fumbling and stuck?  Here are some things to do that might shed light on that dark corner.

  • Ask someone. This takes a rare kind of courage. You walk up to someone that knows you well and you ask them “I get the feeling that I’m fooling myself about this situation. What do you think?” If there is self deception that has been festering and is getting stinky to others around you, they won’t hesitate to gleefully point it out to you and possibly smack you side of the head.
  • Write in a journal. Sit down with a pen and paper and ask: “Please tell me what I need to know.” Then just start writing. Anything. Sometimes what shows up is kind of like a smack side of the head.
  • Ask your subconscious mind before you go to sleep. Just ask a question like “Give me clarity to see what it true” or “Allow me to know if there is self deception here.” Sometimes you’ll get a dream, sometimes you’ll know upon waking, sometimes it will come to you out of nowhere like a smack in the head.
  • Go take a walk. Again, ask for clarity with a sense of calm relaxation. Go walking without trying to think or figure things out. I did this once while thinking about a business associate who I was trying  to convince myself I could trust. All of a sudden, bits and pieces of information came together for me that made it clear to me that I could not. I was so astounded that I had not seen this before that I walked into a street sign. It was very much like a smack in the head.
  • Go see a professional like myself to help you figure it you. I promise I will not… well, you know.

Doesn’t take much to see truth. The first step is to acknowledge that we are all masters of self deception.

Ted

The Hypnosis of Belief

hypnosis of belief

Sir Tristram and la Belle Ysoude drink the potion by Dante Gabriel Rosetti

Dante Gabriel Rosetti was a famous 19th century poet and artist. One day, he was approached by an old man.

The man had some sketches that he showed to Rosetti . He wanted Rossetti to tell him if they were any good.

Looking at the drawings with his expert eye, Rosetti knew right away that they showed no sign of artistic talent. He told the man as much in the most kind and gentle way he could.

The elderly man seemed disappointed but accepted the artist’s verdict.

“May I ask for once more for your opinion?” asked the old man as he showed Rosetti  the work of a younger artist.

Rosetti agreed and looked over this new set of artwork.

This time, however, he could see incredible talent and potential in the drawings.

“These are quite good,” said Rosetti. “This student possesses great talent. If he works hard at his art, his future will be bright. He should be given every opportunity and encouragement to succeed as an artist.

The old man became silent upon  hearing these words.

“Is this young artist your son?”  asked Rosetti.

“No,” said the old man with great sadness.  “This is my work from 40 years ago. A teacher told me back then that I had no future as an artist and I believed him.  I got discouraged and gave up…too soon.  If only I had heard your encouragement then.”

The hypnosis of belief is the invisible hand pulling upon your strings.

It will determine what you do and don’t do. All belief is a form of hypnosis. If you are told something enough times by someone you trust and believe, you will accept it as fact and act accordingly.

  • If you believe making lots of money is a sin, then you will stay poor.
  • If you believe that your cause is worth fighting for, then you will fight and maybe even die.
  • If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can’t you won’t.

There are few universal truths that stand on their own. Almost all of what we hold to be true is true only because we believe it. We are under the hypnosis of belief.

Our beliefs are mostly created by ideas given to us again and again by authority figures such as parents and teachers. It’s not long before we can only see the experiences that support and keep those beliefs in place.

How do you know that we are on a planet in a solar system held  together by a force called gravity? You don’t. Someone told you and you believed them. (Gravity is a theory and has not been “proven”)

So what’s the point?

Once you understand the hypnosis of belief, and that all belief is hypnosis, then you accept that your belief is not truth and is subject to change. So now, you are free to believe whatever you want, as long as it works for you, which means that your belief influences your actions in a way that gives you the life you want.

Second point: you get to evaluate and choose what beliefs work for you, and in the process, let go of beliefs that don’t resonate with you any longer. You understand that as you grow in wisdom and experience your beliefs should change.

Third, and most important, you become cause in the matter of your life. You become the creator of your life. You become responsible for your own beliefs, because you chose them. Then, based on those beliefs, you behave or take actions in a way that creates the life you desire.

However, most folks have it backwards. They take actions that don’t work, based on the hypnosis of beliefs that are outdated and no longer in alignment with their desires. This is a recipe for frustration and unhappiness.

Most of what I do as a hypnotherapist is to de-hypnotize people from the hypnosis of beliefs that create unhappiness such as:

  • I can’t quit smoking. 
  • I can’t lose weight.
  • I’m too afraid to do that.
  • Life is a struggle. 
  • I’m not good enough.

These are all beliefs that when taken as truth, will stop you cold. Changing those beliefs can allow you to move forward.

I challenge you to try this exercise. Write down all the things you believe are true. Write down your most cherished beliefs. Next to each one, answer the question: how do I know this? Examine, and question each one. If it’s time to let one go, do so. If it works for you, keep it. If it’s something you need to think about some more, then do that. You will probably never free yourself from the hypnosis of belief, but you can be aware of it and make it work for you.

The most important thing is to be awake and refuse to abdicate your own authority to anyone or anything. This is your life. You get to choose what to think and believe. Choose wisely.

Ted

The Power of Your Beliefs

The power of your beliefs

Once there was a young man sitting on a park bench worried sick. He owned a business and had gotten himself into a huge amount of debt.

He could see no way out of his predicament. He was being harassed by his creditors and his vendors were demanding payment.

Suddenly, an old man sat down on the bench next to him.

“You look like you have the weight of the world on you, young fellow,” asked the old man. “What’s wrong?”

Happy to share his problems with someone, and with nothing to lose, the young business owner told the old man about his dire financial situation as the stranger listened in silence.

When he was finished, the old man said, “I believe I can help you… what’s your name?”

Quickly pulling out a checkbook, the old man wrote out a check and pressed it into the hands of the young business owner.

“I’ll meet you here in exactly one year and you can pay me back then. I believe you can do it!”

With that the old man slipped away as quickly as he’d come.

The young business owner looked closely at the check. His jaw dropped in disbelief as he realized that it was a check for $500,000 – signed by John D. Rockefeller – at the time, one of the richest men alive!

The young man knew that check would erase his money troubles in an instant! But after thinking about it for a moment, he decided he would put the un-cashed check in his safe for the time being.

Just knowing that he had a check for $50,000 gave him a renewed feeling of optimism and energy about saving his business.

With a huge boost to his confidence, he renegotiated the deals with his vendors to buy some time.

He negotiated with his creditors as well for much lower settlements than what he owed.

Now that he had a little breathing room, he closed several big deals. Within a year, he was back on his feet again and was running a successful business.

Exactly one year from when he met the old man, the young man went to that same park bench. In his hands was the un-cashed check.

Right on time, the old man also arrived at the park bench.

“Dear sir” began the young man as he started to hand over the un-cashed check to the old man. Just then, a nurse came running up behind him.

“I hope he hasn’t been bothering you,” she exclaimed. “He keeps slipping away from the rest home and telling everyone he’s John D. Rockefeller! I’m SO sorry!

With that the nurse led the old man away, leaving the young man completely  flabbergasted.

For an entire year, he had been wheeling and dealing with faith and power because he believed he was backed by half a million dollars – given to him by one of the world’s wealthiest men!

Of course, it was simply his renewed sense of confidence that gave him the power to achieve his goals.

Where did this renewed sense of confidence come from?

  • Not from more money in the bank.
  • Not from a radical change in his skills or talents.
  • Not from anything outside of him changing.

His renewed sense of confidence came from the only thing the old man gave him: a new belief which replaced the belief that he was defeated.

This belief was not based on reality. It was not a belief he cultivated nor consciously chose. It was given to him in the form of a useless piece of paper. But because of this belief, he was able to radically change his life.

You just have to stand in awe of the incredible power of beliefs.

Like the young man, most of our beliefs are given to us. We did not choose them. They are hand- me- downs. And we take them for unchangeable truths. But the nature of beliefs is that they can change.

You’re going to believe in something. That’s the nature of who we are as human beings.

The only question you have to ask yourself is this: “Is this belief working for me?”

Today is the first day of Spring, so why not do a little spring cleaning? Ask yourself:

  • “What beliefs about myself do I need to rip up and throw away?”
  • “What new beliefs about myself do I need to create to get what I want/need?”
  • “What beliefs about life don’t work for me anymore?”
  • “What beliefs can I create that will give me a happier, more fulfilling experience of life?”

If there are blocks holding you back from what you want, they are usually outdated beliefs. If you need help identifying then and letting them go, give me a call. I believe I can help you.

Ted

The Most Important Thing

The most important thing is to be awake

John Everett Millais, The Somnambulist, 1871

The Most Important Thing. What is it?

The Dalai Lama says spreading a message of harmony is the most important thing.

Audrey Hepburn said it’s to enjoy your life.

Princess Diana said it was family.

John Wayne said tomorrow is the most important thing.

Steve Jobs said it was remembering that he will soon be dead.

John Wooden said it was faith.

Oscar Wilde said that when he was young he thought money was the most important thing but that when he was old he knew it was.

Some will say love. Some say success. Many say that to be happy is the most important thing.

What do you think is the Most Important Thing?

With respect to all of the above mentioned, I’ll tell you what I think is the most important thing.

The most important thing is to be awake. 

Wait! You might say. I AM awake!

Are you sure?

To be awake means not only to have your eyes open and walking around but to be aware that you are doing so.

Have you ever driven to work and not remembered the drive?

To be asleep and dreaming at night means to see visions taking place in your head, while being totally unaware that you are asleep. (except if you’re lucid dreaming.)

To be driving, (or working or talking or walking) while your head is crowded with thoughts and images that leave you without a deep awareness of what’s in front of you is just another level of sleep. And in my opinion, many people are sleepwalking through life.

The most important thing is to be awake.

How important can your family be if whenever you are with them, you are a thousand miles away, consumed with stuff in your head that  has no more substance than your nighttime dreams?

How important can love or money be if you are never awake enough to fully appreciate the love and money that you DO have?

To be awake is the most important thing because when you are awake you have a choice. YOU get to choose how you participate in life.

If you’re not awake, then you are on the couch watching an endless stream of sounds and images go by making you feel happy, sad or indifferent, never knowing that you have the power to change the channel whenever you want to.

If you are not awake, you are walking through life mechanically, like a robot, obeying your programming without question, a somnambulist (the technical term for people that walk in their sleep).

When you are awake, then it’s all simply fascinating and you can change the channel if you want to.

When you are awake, you are able to see what IS, unobscured by what should be, could be or how you want it to be.

When you are awake, you are aware that whatever meaning anything has, it has it because of you.

When you are awake, you are aware of the thoughts in your head as only thoughts in your head and aware of your tendency to believe everything you think.

When you are awake, it’s ok to feel the pain, just like it’s ok to feel the joy.

When you are awake, you are aware that your beliefs are beliefs and are not the “truth.”

When you are awake you can change any belief any time you want to.

To be awake, like Steve Jobs said, is to have the awareness that all too soon you will sleep the endless sleep.

Do you still believe you are awake? Did you once believe in Santa Claus?

If so, then challenge the belief that you are. Ask yourself “What if I’m not as awake as I think I am?” For a few days, go on the presumption that this may be true. Look for times when you are sleeping through your life while walking around acting as if you are awake.

Consider that it might be true that life is but a dream.  Because, how do you know it’s not?

Ted

Belief: The Tie That Binds, The Wings that Soar.

320px-Jumbo_and_Matthew_Scott

One day a man was strolling through the circus. As he passed by the elephants, he noticed that the only thing that prevented these huge animals   from running away was a small chain attached to a collar around their leg. The chain was tied to a little peg hammered into the ground. The man thought to himself “Surely, that small peg can be easily pulled out by this 10 foot high creature. Is this safe?”

The man approached the elephant trainer and inquired as to the skimpy method used to hold the elephant.

“Yes, it is safe” the trainer replied. “When the elephants are babies, they are tied in the same way except using a metal stake deep in the ground. This is enough to hold the baby elephants. Tempted by the world outside, they try to break free again and again, but the chain pulls them back and inflicts pain on their legs. They learn that any effort to escape is futile, and they soon give up trying altogether.”

The trainer continued “Now, as a big elephant, it remembers the pain it felt as a baby. It remembers that as hard as it tries, it cannot break free and can only go so far as the chain will allow. It has long given up trying to escape, so we need only secure it with a small peg in the ground. It does not matter that this elephant stands 10 feet high, weighs 14,00o pounds, and can easily pull the peg out and trample both of us. The memory of its limitation prevails.”

The man walked away shaking his head. One of the world’s strongest animals, able to uproot trees and destroy villages, held captive by a skinny chain and a small wooden peg.

The parable of this story is obvious. As human beings, we are often no smarter than elephants.

We believe in limitations that keep us prisoners. We hold painful memories that keep us taking risks. Because we have failed once or twice, we have stopped even trying.

You have to cut elephants some slack. As big as they are, their brainpower doesn’t even compare to what we have under our hood. We should know better.

But we often don’t. We treat our self imposed limitations as truth. But they are not truths. They are simply beliefs about what is possible for us. And your beliefs can change. Now. Today.

After ten years in private practice as a hypnotherapist, I’m still amazed by the power of belief and it’s ability to bind us or set us free.

I’ll be examining the power of belief in the next few posts. I’d like to hear about how your beliefs occur to you and how your beliefs have changed if at all. I invite you to step back and see your beliefs as beliefs instead of truth and what impact they have on your life. Please share your thoughts in the comment section.

Ted

The #1 Thing Holding You Back from Success

Beliefs keeping you from successBeliefs keeping you from successBeliefs keeping you from success

One day, employees at a company got to the office and saw a big sign on the door that read:

“Yesterday, the person who has been holding you back from success at this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral currently in progress at the gymnasium.”

Many of the employees shook their heads at first, saddened by the fact that one of their colleagues had passed away.

But as they made their way over to the gym, they began to get curious as to who this employee was.

  • Was it that annoying account manager who told the stories that had no point?
  • Was it some renegade secretary that was throwing away important memos and documents?
  • Was it even some Vice President who had been embezzling funds?

The closer they got to the gym, the more curious they got.

As they entered the gym, they saw that many of their fellow employees were already there, standing in line to pay their respects.

But the eye-opening part was, as soon as each employee looked inside the coffin, the others could see that the viewer became shocked and silent, as if they had just seen a ghost.

And this just added to the intrigue of the deceased individual.

So as each employee approached the coffin, they felt an overwhelming sense of anticipation.

Can you guess who was inside the coffin?

You see, what the employees found was not actually an employee, but a mirror.

Everyone who looked inside the coffin saw themselves.

Next to the mirror was a sign that said:

“There is only one person capable of holding you back from the success you desire and deserve: that person is YOU.

Only YOU have the power to either achieve your goals or prevent yourself from achieving them.

You are responsible for your own life, and you begin your journey to success the moment you put to death the part of you that thinks you can’t.

So to that doubting, fearful, restrictive side that is holding you back from success… rest in peace.”

The only thing standing between you and your success is the belief that you can’t have it.

And that belief might not be working for you anymore.  

However, many of our beliefs are like childhood friends. They may have worked so well for us in the past. The idea of letting them die can feel like a part of us has to die.  And in a sense, that is true, because we are so identified with our beliefs that we feel they are who are are.

But our beliefs are not who we are. They are simply our beliefs. And they change: ever believe in Santa Claus?

It is possible for you to go from “I can’t” to “I can and I will!” But it takes a willingness to think differently and in a way that might be uncomfortable at first.

What beliefs are holding you back that need to be re-examined and released?

Try this: find a belief that you know is not true anymore yet seems to be still pulling your strings. Write it out on a piece of paper. 

Then create a ritual. You can make a small fire and burn the paper with the intention of releasing the belief. Say goodbye to it as the smoke rises in the air. Or, you can fold the paper up in some cloth and bury it, with a little headstone that reads: HERE LIES A BELIEF THAT I — USED TO KNOW, NOW IT’S TIME TO LET IT GO. Then, walk away as you affirm your new, more empowering belief.

I’ll let you decide how you want  to do it, but do something! If you need help, let me know.

When they finally do lay you to rest, refuse to be buried, as Les Brown says, with “hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, books that were never written, songs that were never sung, inventions that were never shared, cures that were never discovered…”

Only you can give them life, and it starts with your belief.

Ted

Special thanks to James Lee.

Integrity: The Glue That Holds Your Success Together

367px-Model_airplanes,_Union_Station_00253u

I built a model airplane when I was a kid. The instructions said to use modeling cement which we didn’t have. I asked my mom if she could buy me some. She said sure, we’ll go tomorrow.

But I was impatient. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. I wanted to build the plane today. So I got the white Elmer’s Glue, and that’s how I built my plane.

When the glue was clear and dry I picked up the plane by one of the wings and the wing broke off. That really upset me so I glued it back and used scotch tape to hold it. While I was dealing with that, the propeller fell off. Soon, all the parts were coming off because you don’t use white glue to build a model airplane. You use cement.

My plane had no integrity. It had all the parts, except the part that mattered most of all: the right kind of glue to keep it together.

You can have the greatest plan, the most sincere intentions, the most brilliant idea, but if you don’t have the integrity to bring it together and keep it together, it just won’t fly. Or worse, after it gets airborne, it will come crashing to the ground.

Integrity is the ability to be your word.

It is the integration of your words and your actions.  With it, your words can move mountains. Without it, even though your talk is cheap, very few will buy it.

 Can you keep your agreement to be somewhere at an agreed upon time? If you can’t, it sends the message loud and clear: this person can not be counted on to keep his agreements.

Do  you honor your financial agreements by paying your bills on time? If you don’t guess what happens? Your credit score  announces to the world: you can’t count on this person to pay back money that they borrow.

Do you do what you say you are going to do? If you do it once, probably no one will notice. Do it five times, people start to respect you. Do it one hundred times and you become dependable. Do it every single time and guess what happens?

Your word now has power. When you speak, people listen. If you say it’s going to rain, people start buying umbrellas, and if you say it will flood, they start building dams. Need funds? A handshake will get you millions.

Now you show  up in the world as a rock, unshakable in your ability to gather people and resources, to move and inspire people to action. Just say the word and people will fight for you and die for you because they know you make things happen, because every time you said it was gonna happen, it did, sure as the day follows night.

But your ability to have this kind of integrity doesn’t start with showing up on time and paying your bills or keeping promises to people. Nope. Those are just the outward signs.

The power of integrity and the force that it wields starts with keeping your word to yourself. It grows from the integration of your own thoughts, words and deeds. It means you are whole, that all the parts are working together in unison and that your promises to yourself are not scattered to and fro by circumstance, but instead, are constructed to stand solidly in the face of breakdowns, obstacles, and the winds of change. You develop a degree of trust in yourself that knows neither fear nor doubt.

Want to tighten up your integrity? Want to start using a stronger glue?

  • Start waking up at the hour you say you will, everyday except one day. Do it come hell, high water, or late night parties.
  • Start showing up at the agreed upon time.  All the time.
  • Set an easy goal with a deadline. Accomplish it. Set a harder goal. Accomplish it. Set an audacious goal. Accomplish it.
  • Start taking 3 daily actions that you will do every day. EVERY DAY. Regardless of whether you want to or not or whether it’s convenient or not.
  • When you commit,do so with full responsibility of choice that you will show up. If you can’t, don’t.

It takes practice. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. You do what you say you are going to do.  Your speech and actions cemented together and taking wing on the power of your word: that’s integrity.

Ted

For a podcast of this blog, go to the Ted in Your Head podcast, Episode 27.

Self Hypnosis as a Tool for Change

Self hypnosis

Why do most New Years resolutions fail? Why is it so difficult to change habits?

You hear about it all the time: people win big in the lottery, millions of dollars. Five years later they are broke.

Perhaps you’ve experienced this: you lose a bunch of weight just to gain it all back plus a few pounds.

Or you’ve quit smoking, just to start again when, after a few drinks, someone offers you a smoke.

Or you make a New Years resolution to start exercising, so you join a gym, go 3 times and then never again.

The problem is that sometimes it takes more than willpower, determination and resolutions to change.

Sometimes you need to re-program your subconscious mind.

Because if your subconscious mind (88% of your mind) is more comfortable with poverty, being fat, being a smoker, and being a couch potato, then it will sabotage the best efforts of your conscious mind (12%) to change. And your subconscious mind will win. Almost always.

So how does one go about re-programming one’s subconscious mind?

Self hypnosis is one of the most powerful ways to do this.

Self hypnosis has been used by celebrities, athletes, performers, business people, salespeople, and entrepreneurs.

From Einstein and Thomas Edison to Aston Kutcher, Matt Damon and the Chicago White Sox, self hypnosis has been an essential component of success.

Start the New Year with a Success Mindset. Learn to use Self Hypnosis!

You can learn self hypnosis by taking my Self Hypnosis for Success Class at Pasadena City College on three Saturdays: January 18th, 25th and February 1st. Click here to register!

The power of self hypnosis can be used to:

  • Have the correct mindset and attitude for success in business and personal life.
  • Get rid of procrastination that keeps you stuck and in a rut.
  • Feel less self-conscious and more relaxed and confident in social and professional situations.
  • Increase sales through higher confidence and less call resistance.
  • Get relief from anxiety and fear, and negative thinking.

Click to register and get your subconscious mind to work for you!

In Self Hypnosis for Success, you will learn:

  • How to put yourself into hypnosis.
  • How to use the power of  suggestion to re-program your subconscious mind.
  • How to put it all together to create a mind conditioned for success in just a few minutes a day.

You’ll receive my Guide to Self Hypnosis and my Self Hypnosis Conditioning CD, which also includes my studio produced “Peaceful Place” relaxation track as an added bonus. In addition, you’ll get handouts at each class containing the material presented. The class is being held at Pasadena City College on January 18, 25th and February 1st from 9 to 10:30 am.

Click here to register and learn to take control of your mind using self hypnosis!

Hope to see you there!

Ted

 

Sometimes You Just Need to Let Go

Me Risking Life and Limb in Tucson AZ in 1984

Me Risking Life and Limb in Tucson AZ in 1984

During my  “cowboy” phase, while living in Arizona, I decided to try my hand at rodeo. I made up my mind to do bareback bronc riding.

This is where a rider gets on a horse (or bronc) whose only desire is to buck the bronc rider off.

With only one hand, the rider hangs on to a “rigging”, which is a handle, like on a suitcase, attached to a leather strap strapped around the horse.  To hang on, the rider wears a glove  that fits tightly into the rigging handle, secured with resin (sticky) powder. The goal is to stay on for eight seconds.

I practiced for a while on a wooden sawhorse with a rigging attached and two buddies at either end bouncing it up and down. Thinking I was ready, I went to the practice arena one night and paid ten bucks for my chance to ride a wild bronc.

My legs felt like jelly as I lowered myself onto the horse in the chute. I  jammed  my gloved hand into the rigging. Out in the arena, the pick- up man waited on his horse. The pick-up man’s job is to rescue the rider from the bronc after his eight seconds.

I nodded my head to signal that I was ready. The chute opened.  Eleven hundred pounds of horse rocketed into the arena with 130 lbs of  me  attached to it.

About 3 seconds too late, I realized that I had no business being on that horse. I was getting tossed like a rag doll in a clothes dryer.

The pick up man, seeing that I was a lost cause,  rode up next to us on the right. I started to climb onto his horse. I got half way there with one leg on when he yelled “Take your hand out of the rigging!”

In all the excitement, I had forgotten to take my left hand out of the handle of the rigging. My hand was stuck tight with resin, on the other horse, all nice and cozy, the way it was supposed to be.  Except now, it wasn’t supposed to be.

All I could do was climb back onto the bronc. After a few more bone-rattling bucks, I got my hand free and he gleefully sent me flying.

After I got all the dirt out of my mouth, and with some sense pounded into me, I decided to do horses a favor and end my rodeo career.

Sometimes you just need to let go. 

The past year is just about gone. Soon a new year will come. Things come and things go. That’s life, isn’t it?

But sometimes, caught up in the excitement (or routine) of life,  we forget that we are still holding on when we should have let go a long time ago. We can end up being dragged along by our involvement, shaken to and fro by our choices, or being owned by our physical and psychological “stuff.”

As hard as it might be, there are times when the best thing to do is let go and get off.  This is how you make yourself available for a new ride. This is how you allow new, (maybe better) stuff to come in.

Are you aware of something that needs to be released from your life, now?

  • Material things you don’t use or need
  • A job
  • A relationship
  • A desire  (like trying to ride horses that don’t want to be ridden)
  • Guilt or regret
  • A tradition
  • A belief
  • A habit

At this time of the year, trees shed their leaves as Nature prepares to create anew. Why can’t you?

Ted

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to www.tedmoreno.com/ted-in-your-head episode 39