Sometimes You Just Need to Let Go – Episode 423

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I’m not sure that I ever mentioned this to you, but at one point in my life I wanted to be a cowboy. It wasn’t when I was 6 or 7, I was actually in my 20s. This is embarrassing but I had dreams of working on a ranch and being out in the wide open spaces and you know riding a horse and all that cowboy stuff. I actually got a job working on a ranch but that’s a whole other story, maybe I’ll tell you about that sometime…

Anyway, during my “cowboy” phase, while living in Arizona, I decided to try my hand at the rodeo. I made up my mind to try bareback bronc riding.

This is where a rider gets on a horse (or bronc) whose only desire is to buck the bronc rider off. With only one hand, the rider hangs on to a “rigging”, which is a handle, like on a suitcase, attached to a leather strap strapped around the horse. To hang on, the rider wears a glove that fits tightly into the rigging handle, secured with resin (sticky) powder. The goal is to stay on for eight seconds.

At the time I was living in an agricultural fraternity, so I had some buddies that were in the rodeo. One of the guys had a wooden sawhorse that had a rigging attached to it. I practiced for a while on this wooden sawhorse with two guys at either end bouncing it up and down while I tried to stay on. The whole thing sounds silly while I’m saying it but back then I really thought this would help me stay on a real horse. Thinking I was ready, I went to the practice arena one night and paid ten bucks for my chance to ride a wild bronc.

My legs felt like jelly as I lowered myself onto the horse which was held in a bucking chute which is a wooden enclosure with a gate out to the arena. I jammed my gloved hand into the rigging. Out in the arena, the pickup man waited on his horse. The pickup man’s job is to rescue the rider from the bronc.

I nodded my head to signal that I was ready. The chute opened. Eleven hundred pounds of horse rocketed into the arena with 130 lbs. of me attached to it.

About 3 seconds too late, I realized that I really had no business being on that horse. I was getting tossed like a rag doll in a clothes dryer.

The pickup man, seeing that I was a lost cause, rode up next to us on the right. I started to climb onto his horse. I got halfway there with one leg on when he yelled “Take your hand out of the rigging!”

In all the excitement, I had forgotten to take my left hand out of the handle of the rigging. My hand was stuck tight with resin, on the other horse, stuck in there all nice and cozy, the way it was supposed to be. Except now, it wasn’t supposed to be.

All I could do was climb back onto the bronc. After a few more bone-rattling bucks, I got my hand free, and he gleefully sent me flying off and into the ground.

After I got all the dirt out of my mouth, and with some sense pounded into me, I decided to do horses a favor and end my rodeo career right then and there. Sometimes you just need to let go.

But sometimes, caught up in the excitement (or routine) of life, it’s easy to forget that we are still holding on to things we should have let go a long time ago. Like me on that bronc, we can end up being dragged along by our emotional or physical involvement, shaken to and for by our choices, or being thrown by our physical and psychological “stuff.”

As hard as it might be, there are times when the best thing to do is let go and get off. This is how you make yourself available for a new ride. This is how you allow new (maybe better) stuff to come in.

What are some things that we might want to let go of? What’s something that needs to be released from your life, now?

· Material things you don’t use or need.

· A job that’s no longer serving you.

· A relationship that has reached its end.

· An unrealistic desire that’s distracting or getting in the way of what you really need to be doing. (Like trying to ride horses that don’t want to be ridden)

· Guilt or regret

· A tradition that’s outdated.

· A belief

· A habit

The things that people come to release are usually things like anger, resentment, judgement, guilt.

We’re all entitled to these feelings; they are normal human emotions.

The question is, how long do we want to hold on to them before they become like a ball and chain, weighing us down and keeping us from moving forward.

When I got attached to that horse in the rodeo arena, he owned me. I was at the mercy of his anger at having someone on his back that he didn’t want.

Do we really want to be owned by our anger, our resentment, our guilt? Riding our bitterness and resignation until we find ourselves in the dirt? That sounds pretty scary to me.

I can’t tell you when to let it go. How to let it go, well that might be a topic for another podcast. But the first step is to be clear that what you are holding onto is no longer serving you and might just be costing you more than you think.

That day back in 1984 when I let go of that horse, I let go of the desire to be in the rodeo. I like my bones too much. There were several new interests and desires that came after that, as well as a lot of bruises and pain. I just kept letting go when I realized they weren’t what I needed anymore. It’s never easy, but so far, it’s been a hell of a ride.

Quote:

“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.”

– Jack Kornfield

 

 

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How to Step Back and Watch the River Flow – Episode 422

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My oldest daughter graduated from high school a few days ago and my younger daughter is turning 16 this month. My wife asked me how I felt about that. I thought for a second and said “I guess I’m just observing.”

When things get super stressful, like they have been, and there’s a lot of stuff going on, sometimes I feel the need to just step back and be the witness. I’ve discussed this previously a bit in episode 389 but I want to revisit the idea of just watching without any attachment to how I want it to be, how I think it should be, or how it was or how I think it will be. I find it very liberating to get into this space if I can.

I wrote a letter to my graduating daughter not only congratulating her and all that but I also gave her some advice I thought might be helpful. I don’t know if she’ll take it to heart or even care, but I hope so. One of the things I wrote about was change, telling her that it’s the only constant in life.

Sometimes change happens in a way that we like and sometimes it doesn’t and sometimes we don’t know if it’s good or bad. I think we have some agency that allows us to create the changes that we want but some change is inevitable and often painful. The loss of the innocence of youth, watching relationships drift away and or end, the passing of people we love, the aging of our bodies. We can’t do much about these things. Change is stressful and because life is change, life is stressful. So how do we deal with with it all? Well, we can practice acceptance, have gratitude, and step back and just watch the whole thing flow by.

How do we do that? It involves a shift in perspective from content to context. Now don’t check out on me here, ok? I’ll explain.

I did a presentation a few years back to a group of business people. I showed them drawings I had made on pieces of paper. I held one up and asked “What’s this?” They would answer, “It’s a bird”, or “It’s a boat” or “It’s a flower.”

But nobody said “It’s a piece of paper with a drawing on it.” That’s the context. The content is bird, boat, or flower. As humans, we are very identified with the content of our lives: the details, what happened, what will happen, descriptions. The context is the awareness of having an experience called Life.

Imagine you are in a canoe or kayak. You’re paddling your way down the river. You have a destination, a place you want to be. You’re trying to avoid rocks or getting overturned in a rapid; you want the journey to go as smoothly as possible. Imagine at one point, you paddle your canoe to a nice grassy place, pull it out of the water, and sit on the bank to watch the river flow by. You are no longer in the process of trying to get to where you want to go, now, you’re just watching the river flow.

Jim Carrey once said: “I used to be a guy who was experiencing the Universe, but now I feel like the Universe experiencing a guy.”

Guy is content, Universe if context. Pondering the idea that you are the universe having the experience of a guy or gal is what I’m talking about. It’s a major shift of perspective. It’s freedom because at that moment, there’s nothing you need to do or worry about or solve or figure out. There is nobody you need to be. You’re just checking things out.

There’s a song from the 1970’s called “Spill the Wine” by Eric Burdon and War. It’s about a guy who is strolling on a hot summer’s day and he decides to lay down to rest in a field of grass. He falls asleep and dreams he’s the star of a Hollywood movie. The lyric goes:

“The fact that me, an overfed, long haired, leaping gnome should be the star behind a Hollywood movie, hmm.”

In the same way, I can think to myself: The fact that me, a short haired, overfed, leaping vibration of the universe should be a husband, father, hypnotherapist and dude living in 21st century America. Wow. Far out. Cool.

Of course it’s hard to do when things are challenging, but that’s when we really need to shift our perspective.

I had a realization of this while driving through Scottsdale, Arizona in 1987. I was the general manager of a sales team. However, I was in a sales slump and had been for a couple of weeks. I walked into work one day and my boss said to me

“I can see failure written all over your face. You have dead eyes. You’re not bringing that attitude of despair and negativity in here. Go home and get your head straight. Go, now!”

I felt pretty terrible and pretty low at that point. While I was driving home I passed a lake with a beautiful fountain shooting high up into the air. It was a gorgeous spring day. One of my favorite songs came on the radio. I was able to get out of my head and realize that life is good even if I wasn’t selling, that nothing will last forever. I teared up and got a bit emotional. I went home and I think I called my mom to say hi. I went to work the next day and started selling like a fiend. I was no longer attached to what it all meant.

Stepping back means letting go of the narrative of your life (which is the content of your life) for a while. Your details: age, gender, occupation, status, history, goals, desires etc. Instead, you just watch your life flow. With awe. With wonder. With amazement. Now, you’re no longer a guy or gal, now you’re the Universe, or awareness. Now you’re just aware. Now you are the watcher, just watching.

We’re so attached to the details, the narrative, the content, that it takes practice to step back but it’s so worth it to get a sense of the truth of you. This is why mindfulness practices like meditation are so valuable and so popular right now. Because there’s so much content in life right now, we just want a break from it.

Practice stepping back once a day to say to yourself “Wow, check this out!” Even if its not wonderful or beautiful or fabulous. Remember everything is always changing. I personally believe the more connected you are to your own awareness, the higher the vibration you put out and will attract back to you. Good luck with that.

Here’s a quote by Bob Dylan from his song Watching the River Flow:

Oh, this old river keeps on rolling, though.
No matter what gets in the way and which way the wind does blow.
And as long as it does I’ll just sit here and watch the river flow.

Thanks for being here,

Ted

 

 

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The Wounded Child Inside of You – Episode 421

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The “Inner Child” is a concept developed by CG Jung and further developed over the years by both pop psychologists and analytical psychology. It represents the childlike aspects of each of us. Ideally, we are connected with the wonder, joy and excitement of our inner child. However, if we have experienced childhood trauma, our inner child can become a wounded child, resulting in feelings in adulthood of shame, guilt, anxiety and other negative emotions. In this episode, Ted discusses signs that your inner child may be a wounded child, and more importantly, how to heal that part of you.

 

 

 

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Doing inner child work can be some of the most powerful healing that you do.  Request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/

How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body – Episode 420

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How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body – Episode 420

In our western culture, intelligence, logic and reason are highly valued as the means to success and accomplishment. Consequently, we have become disconnected from our own bodies. Many of us have become unable to hear it’s wisdom and intelligence which show up as feelings in the body. Or, if we are aware of these feelings, we repress them to the point where they may become expressed as illness or dis-ease. Ted discusses the importance of a strong connection with our bodies and how to do that by “getting out of our heads.”

 

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How to Stay Out of (The Bad Kind) of Hypnosis – Episode 419

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How to Stay Out of (The Bad Kind) of Hypnosis – Episode 419

So many people are struggling right now with anxiety, lack of motivation, crises of confidence and a struggle to find a sense of mission or purpose.

There are a lot of reasons for this but Ted discusses the impact of reason events, including the pandemic, and how information overload and social media contribute to a kind of negative hypnosis. If you are feeling these things, remember this too shall pass and tune in to this episode of the Ted in Your Head podcast for helpful insights as to what’s going on out there.

 

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Ted in Your Head Interview Series: Mimi and Chase, Relationship Experts: Episode 418

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In this next installment of the Ted in Your Head Interview Series, Ted interviews Mimi and Chase of The Medicin Podcast. Chase and Mimi are dedicated to spreading truth in the areas of holistic health, spirituality, relationship health and much more. They relate their journey from high school sweethearts to married couple, to divorced for […]

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Ted in Your Head Interview Series: Gut Health with Coach Leiah R – Episode 417

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Gut Health with Coach Leiah R – Episode 417
Ted in Your Head Podcast

Ted discusses gut health with Coach Leiah R. from the perspective of both the body and the mind. Ted and Coach Leiah will also talk about their Gut Health Webinar on March 27th.  If you suffer from an unhealthy gut or digestive disorders, check out this podcast and be sure to tune into the Gut Health Webinar. For more information, go to www.instagram.com/coachleiahr/ and click on the bio link. Also, check out my previous conversation with Coach Leiah here.

 

 

 

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Ted in Your Head Interview Series: Bruno D’Alfonso Episode 415

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In this next installment of the Ted in Your Head Interview Series, Ted interviews Bruno D’Alfonso, winemaker in the Santa Rita Hills of California. Considered “legendary” be fellow winemakers in the regions, Bruno along with his wife Chris Curran, are dedicated to creating wines with passion, purpose and precision. If you are someone searching for your path, passion and place, listen to Bruno’s story and wisdom of what it means to cultivate a craft with commitment, vision and purpose.

 

 

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Having trouble finding your path or purpose? Request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/

The Top 7 Things to Do to Manage Driving Anxiety – Episode 413

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A recent survey showed that 66% of Americans suffer from driving anxiety which is fear and anxiety associated with driving. Whether it’s fear of the highway, surface streets, bridges, high speeds, the claustrophobia that come from feeling “trapped” you car, driving anxiety can be debilitating for anyone that needs to drive. As an expert in helping people with driving anxiety, Ted talks about 7 things you can do to begin to manage this very common fear.

 

 

 

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Having trouble feeling comfortable while driving? Request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/

Standing in Awe of the Power of Belief  – Episode 412

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What do you believe? Why do you believe it? Do you believe that what you believe is true? How do you know? How do your beliefs impact your life positively and negatively? Are you willing to change beliefs that don’t work for you? Ted takes a deep dive into these questions in a way that may give you a different perspective about what you believe.

 

 

 

 


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P.S.

If you have core beliefs that are not working for you and you want to change them, request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/