Weight Loss is Seldom About Weight

“Truth is Beauty” photo by Jennifer Morrow

Of all the things I help people with in my hypnotherapy practice, it seems that weight loss is the most difficult. 

I don’t really advertise it. When someone calls me for weight loss, I tell them that it is going to be a minimum of eight sessions.  I want to make sure they are serious.

Because weight loss is rarely about food and weight.

I was recently asked by the amazing Lauren Herrera of Pilates Barbell Club in Pasadena to be a contributor to her Triple Fat Loss Formula Program. (Click here to see outtakes of a video we made.)

She posted a blog post with words that carry uncommon wisdom and leave no doubt in my mind that she “gets it” when it comes to weight loss and fitness. Here’s a little of what she wrote:

“Food issues” and losing weight are rarely about the food or the weight.

Our interaction with food and our reliance on self-acceptence through a number on the scale or tag on our clothing perpetuates a never ending battle of self-hate, deprivation of food, insane exercise regimens (over-doing cardio, or actually doing an ‘insane’ workout) encompass the never-ending cycle of diet, binge, repeat. Or worse, diet, workout like a nut, get injured, then binge out of depression and defeat and then repeat.

If it’s not about the food, than what is it about?
Well, YOU. And everything that makes you UNIQUE, WONDERFUL, TALENTED and LOVABLE. Even if you don’t see it.

Weight loss is about being ok with and accepting yourself.

Lauren’s ideas about weight loss reflect an enlightened approach because they speak to the reasons why weight loss can be so hard.

The reason weight loss can be so difficult is because very often food is used to soothe negative emotions such as stress, low self worth, worry, anger, and  emotional pain such as loneliness and depression . It’s hard to see these emotions as part of the cause of being overweight when so much attention is on comparing one’s body to the body on the latest cover of  Whatever Magazine. Or, focusing on the latest diet or work out fad.

Furthermore, weight loss can be sabotaged by what is known as “secondary gain”. This is a situation where subconsciously, there is more advantage to keeping the weight than losing it.

For instance, after the loss of a relationship and the resulting heartbreak,  a woman may desire to lose weight, but be unable to do so no matter how hard she tries. This can be a fear based protective mechanism to avoid attracting another relationship and the emotional pain that may result. This is almost impossible to see in one’s self without some help. But if you can see it, then you can deal with it through compassion and love for yourself to heal and move forward.

This blog post is not about how to achieve weight loss, it’s simply food for thought (no pun intended) if weight loss is one of your goals.

A very helpful question to ask yourself in your quest for weight loss is “What am I hungry for?” We are all hungry for love, attention, happiness, acknowledgement, and acceptance. Once we can identify our deep seated human needs, then we can begin to work on getting those needs met. If we can’t identify our needs, we will find a way to ease the pain of the lack of them, be it through, food, alcohol, drugs, sex or work.

The intention behind weight loss should be to honor the gift of our bodies through physical fitness and health. Start with that in mind and everything else will follow. Like Lauren says:

Truth is our attractiveness will fade with age. But, our ability to be independent, self-reliant and MOBILE when we are pushing 75 is the bigger picture. Enjoying the 100 year lifespan we are projected to have is what it’s about for me.

Me too. Hope to see you in 2060.

Ted