
I like Star Wars. “The Empire Strikes Back” is my favorite movie. When I hear the word transformation, I think about Luke Skywalker, and unless you’ve been living in a cave since 1977, you know that he is the hero of the first three Star Wars movies.
Here’s a guy that goes from being a whiny, irresponsible young farm boy to becoming the powerful Jedi Knight that brings peace to the universe by bringing down the evil Galactic Empire. Only in the movies, right? Well, not quite.
The story of Luke Skywalker is a story as old as time. (as is the story of the Hobbit Frodo Baggins) It is known as the Hero’s Journey, and it is found in myths and legends from around the world. The roots of the hero’s journey go back to the ancient wisdom teachings from the earliest of civilizations.
George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, has acknowledged that he owes a debt to mythologist and author Joseph Campbell, whose theories about the hero’s journey have influenced numerous writers and artists.
Here’s a chart from Wikipedia under “The Hero’s Journey”:

In his book, “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” Joseph Campbell describes the hero’s journey. (Click here for a really cool video regarding the Hero’s Journey and “The Matrix”)
According to Wikipedia: “Campbell describes a number of stages or steps along this journey.”:
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A call to adventure: The hero, in the ordinary world, receives a call to enter an unusual world of strange powers and events.
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A road of trials: If the hero accepts the call, he must face tasks and trials.
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Woman as temptress: The hero will be tempted and must survive a severe challenge. If the hero survives, the hero may gain a great gift, which often results in the discovery of important self-knowledge.
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Return to the ordinary world: The hero must then decide whether to return with this gift , often facing challenges on the return journey.
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Freedom to live: If the hero is successful in returning, the gift may be used to improve the world.
What’s interesting is that this chart looks very similar to another diagram that I am quite familiar with:

Coincidence? I think not. Any substantial change or transformation means stepping into the unknown and facing the enemy inside.
Let’s examine the hero’s journey from the perspective of Theory of Mind. The top part of both circles is the ordinary world, the realm of our conscious minds.
As we mature, we are called to adventure. This call is to take responsibility for our lives. This may involve going away for school, getting married, starting a career, or having children. This is a call most of us are willing to answer. Of course, there are challenges, sometimes major.
At this point there is a threshold to cross. We can choose to play it safe, sticking with the known and familiar, stuck in behaviors that don’t serve us, stopped by fear of the unknown. Or, we can choose the path of growth and transformation in an effort to create our lives.
We can choose to delve into the unknown, making a conscious choice to continue along the road of trials in search of a life that is meaningful and worth living, even if the path is unclear. We may realize that we cannot do it alone, and search for guidance in spirituality or religion, seeking out mentors, or being open to help from powers unseen.
In our journey to create a life, we encounter the road of trials: loss of innocence, loss of love, rejection, disappointment, failure, intense pain, illness. At this point we may be made aware of our own character defects that brought us to this rocky road. These defects can be bad habits or addictions, mental or physical laziness, or values that are lacking, not clearly defined or not adhered to.
Now we are in the abyss, the realm of the subconscious mind. We may have to fight demons that arise to keep us from moving ahead. We come face to face with our fears and doubts. Our primitive mind will kick in with fight or flight as a last ditch attempt to protect us from the unknown. We will want to turn back or quit altogether.
If we choose to continue on the path to transformation, a part of us must die. Campbell calls this “Atonement with the Father”. Luke Skywalker, in his battle with Darth Vader (“Dark Father” representing the evil part of himself) loses his hand and throws himself into the abyss, choosing death instead of surrender to the Dark Side. What dies in us is our identification with our ego, who we think we are, our limitations, our physical bodies. We become present to who we really are: infinite energy, light, spirit.
We can now enroll our subconscious minds as a helper, as we work to get comfortable with new ways of thinking, behaving, and relating to ourselves. Our true powers are revealed to us: trust, faith, intuition, courage. We have acquired the gifts of wisdom and foresight. We’ve developed clearly defined values that guide us and that are not negotiable.
We are now transformed, born again, and as such, we may seek to share our learning (the gift) to the world as we incorporate and synthesize our wisdom back into ordinary life.
The hero’s journey is humanity’s struggle to bring order out of chaos. Each of us walks the path of the hero’s journey, whether we realize it or not; in our daily lives, we seek transcendence over the mundane, the petty and the ordinary.
We are all continually called to action, to be great, bold, courageous. We will shy away from this call, yet it is unceasing. Transformation happens when we go boldly where we have not gone before, to quote a phrase, and trust that the universe conspires in our favor.
See yourself as the hero when you feel stuck, beaten, or paralyzed to move forward. You are fighting the same battle that each person fights, travelling the same journey as every human that ever lived. It is the struggle to become more than what we are.
Ted
Photo by David Johnston
www.dk9studio.com
10 Steps to Creating Motivation to Exercise
/1 Comment/in Blog, Featured, Health and Wellness, Hypnotherapy, Motivation/Inspiration /by HypnotherapyOne of the most common reasons people come to my hypnotherapy practice is to find the motivation to exercise. We all know exercise is essential to health and wellness, yet, if you are not in the habit, it can be difficult to go from not doing anything to getting regular and consistent exercise.
There are a lot of reasons not to exercise. It’s hot, it’s sweaty, it’s uncomfortable, you don’t have time, you can’t afford a gym or personal training, you don’t want people to see you, it’s not worth the effort, it’s too late for you, etc.
The first step is to make the decision that getting exercise is something you MUST do. Be clear that focusing on all the reasons why you can’t exercise will not help you. We are looking for solutions here! Refocus your mind on reasons why you CAN achieve the fitness you want and begin looking for ways to make it happen.
Getting regular exercise will help you to have more energy, be happier, more focused and effective, less stressed, more confident, look better and live longer. But you knew that, right?
Here are some practical steps to help you begin and maintain a consistent exercise program.
You can do this. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but discomfort becomes comfort if repeated enough. To reiterate, be clear about why you must, and the benefit you will receive. Getting into a regular schedule of consistent activity and feeling the benefits can be one of your greatest accomplishments. Call me if you need help!
Ted A. Moreno
Certified Hypnotherapist
High Performance Coach
www.TedMoreno.com
Liberation from You
/1 Comment/in Blog, Motivation/Inspiration, Personal Development, Self Esteem /by HypnotherapyBob Marley (photo by Euli Frey)
Liberation. The word is inspiring and filled with history and meaning.
Look up the phrase “independence” on Wikipedia and you’ll get a definition about countries, nations and states and self government.
Look up the word liberation, and you won’t get much. As a definition, three words, actually.
Why so much about freedom but so little about liberation?
I think it’s because when we’re in a prison cell, or in a dictatorship where we’re unable to travel freely, we know it. Those things are obvious to see and easily trigger a desire to be free from them.
What is not so obvious is when we are a prisoner to our own mind.
Liberation: What we really want but don’t know it.
People can get comfortable living in a dictatorship. Prisoners can become accustomed to and even comfortable with prison life. “This is how it is. We just have to make the best of it” is how we might come to acceptance of these conditions. But we don’t deny the fact that we aren’t free.
Not so when it comes to our minds. We have the capability to live our whole lives imprisoned by our beliefs, thoughts and feelings, and believe the whole time that we aren’t. This is called delusion.
This is what we all truly desire: liberation from the things that keep us from happiness, health, and prosperity, including the inability to see them for what they are. We seek liberation from unhappiness, unease, discontent, and discomfort. We want liberation from emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, regret, and fear. We want freedom from bad habits, patterns of thinking that don’t serve us, and lack of self worth and self esteem.
At our core, we all seek liberation from what holds us back from what we want. What is required is liberation from being blind to the fact that the biggest thing that holds us back is ourselves.
The problem is that we can get pretty chummy with those things that imprison us. We can become so comfortable and so accustomed to living in fear, anger and sadness that we come to accept it as how it is. This way of being can become so pervasive that if given the key to our own liberation, we will give it back and say no thanks. Then, we will blame something or someone else for our inability to step through the door.
True liberation, true freedom, is being able to see what is true and act accordingly. The truth will set you free.
The truth is that most of us will never completely escape the emotional landscape that surrounds our humanity. We will be subject to grief and sadness, anger and resentment, guilt and regret, unease and discomfort.
Our liberation comes from seeing this truth with stark clarity and exercising our freedom to choose how to respond. To be liberated from ourselves is to see clearly that we don’t need to be slaves to our emotions, desires, regrets, or habits. We can at least acknowledge that the chains that bind us to an unfulfilled life are illusory, and like wisps of smoke, can be blown away at any time.
But it’s not easy. Most people need some help. The best that most can hope for is to achieve liberation from the heaviest chains, and only you know what they are.
“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.”
~Bob Marley, Redemption Song
Ted
You can hear the podcast of this blog at TedMoreno.com, or Soundcloud, or iTunes.
Stop It! 43 Things To Stop Doing NOW
/16 Comments/in Blog, Motivation/Inspiration, Musings, Personal Development /by HypnotherapyStop believing everything you think.
p.s. Don’t believe anything I’ve written here.
Ted
Want to hear the podcast version of this? Go to www.tedmoreno.com/podcast
Happiness and The Hypnosis of the Culture Part II
/1 Comment/in Abundance/wealth, Blog, Motivation/Inspiration, Personal Development /by HypnotherapyHere’s a parable that I think speaks to the topic of happiness and the hypnosis of the culture.
One day a monk stopped by the house of a wealthy man and found the owner busily filling a large steel chest with gold and silver coins. Puzzled, the monk asked him what he was doing.
The man replied, “Sir, you have no cares. The faithful feed you, and if they do not, it doesn’t matter because you don’t care what happens to your body. But it is different with us householders. We must hoard some of our wealth so that we will not go hungry in time of need.”
The monk’s reply was to invite the rich man to visit him the next day in the hills outside of the city. When he arrived he found that the holy man had dug a pit in front of his hut and was busily filling it with small round stones. He had been working since dawn and had already amassed quite a pile.
“What are you doing, sir?” the man asked. “The mountain behind your hut is covered with these smooth, round stones. Why are you collecting them?”
“For time of need,” the monk replied. “It might happen that all these mountains are washed away, and so I am collecting these stones and hiding them in case I need them.”
“That’s crazy,” the wealthy man replied. “It is not possible for this mountain to be washed away.”
“And it is not possible that Life will fail to lay your food before you,” the monk replied, jumping out of the pit. “It is foolish to waste your precious time hoarding gold and silver. Your task in life is to know yourself at every level. Hoard your energy for accomplishing this noble purpose instead of frittering it away on petty cares and anxieties.”
I’ve had this little parable for years on a page of magazine print. I can’t even remember where I got it from. I’m surprised that I kept it because it didn’t make a lot of sense to me at the time. Was the message that you shouldn’t be concerned about the future? That saving for a time of need was not important? How can you have happiness without abundance?
I found this filed away recently and I read it again, but now, I get it. Let me tell you what happened in 2009 that allowed me to understand this story.
In 2009 my wife and I had just purchased our house in the middle of the great recession. House prices were down and so was my business. Many people were losing their homes at the time.
Shortly after moving into my house, I became very afraid. Most of my life I’ve had no desire to buy a house because of the commitment. Now I had a big commitment in the form of a monthly mortgage. I started to worry that if business didn’t pick up I might lose my house just as quickly as I bought it.
The fear began to grow. My business phone was deathly silent. I started to have pictures in my mind of packing up our stuff and moving out.
One night, as I lay in bed unable to sleep, I looked back over my life. I realized that most of my life, I had been without any substantial amount of money or material goods. This made me feel even worse.
But then, something else occurred to me. I have never been homeless. I had never lacked for food. When I needed a car, I was able to get one. I was always able to buy clothes if I needed them. Yet, in spite of all this, I had always been worried about money.
That night, for the first time in my life, I knew I could always count on myself to get by, but more importantly, that Life would provide for me. If we lost the house, we would always have a place to stay. I realized that worrying about it was paralyzing me and keeping me from doing the things I needed to do to attract business. And this worry was stealing my happiness.
My key to happiness was to transform doubt and fear into faith and gratitude.
To break free from the hypnosis of the culture and fully understand that who I was is not defined by my house, my car, or my bank account, but instead, by who I declare myself to be and how well I am able to live up to that declaration.
I felt gratitude that for the fact that at least that night, I was sleeping in a house that I owned. That my two children were healthy and strong. That my wife was healthy and had a good job which she enjoyed. I felt happiness growing within me as I fell asleep.
I like nice stuff as much as the next guy. I don’t want to just get by, I want to thrive and I am. But I’ll tell you this, I’ m ever vigilant of the hypnosis of “more and bigger” and it’s ability to infect me. My goal is to explore what it means to be human and to be present to and grateful for the opportunity to live in this place at this time.
I’m not sure that I could write this if I was homeless, or suffering a tragic loss. I am not arrogant enough to assume that whatever blessings or good fortune I’ve had is soley the result of anything I’ve done.
In addition, I don’t know why I got so lucky as to own a home, have a healthy family and a job that I love. I’d like a mansion and Ferrari but I sure as hell don’t need one.
But if I am able to manifest that, it’s not going to happen by looking with envy at what the other guy has and feeling like a failure or less than. It’s going to be by declaring myself incredibly wealthy and blessed right now. These thoughts bring me happiness.
Shortly after that night, the phone start to ring again and my business picked up. I got some help from coaches and mentors, some who were very generous with their time. The economy seemed to be getting better. Or maybe the only thing that was getting better was me.
Ted
To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to www.tedmoreno.com/podcast
Photo by Skye Moorhead
www.skyemoorhead.comHappiness and the Hypnosis of the Culture, Part I
/10 Comments/in Blog, Health and Wellness, Hypnotherapy, Motivation/Inspiration, Personal Development /by HypnotherapyYou might’ve heard the story of the guy walking down the street and sees another guy looking for something by the side of the road. “Hey” the first guy says,”What are you looking for?”
“I’m looking for my keys”, says the other guy.
“Let me help you! Where did you see them last?”
“In my house.”
“Um, so why you are looking for them out here?” Read more
Scaring Away the Dark Side of Change
/8 Comments/in Blog, Holiday, Motivation/Inspiration /by HypnotherapyEver wonder why we wear masks on Halloween? Why we dress up and disguise ourselves as ghosts, witches and monsters?
The modern holiday of Halloween has its roots in both the Celtic celebration of Samhain and the Christian holiday of All Saints Day. Samhain (“the end of summer”) celebrated the end of the “lighter half” of the year and the beginning of the “darker half”.
The name Halloween comes from All Hollows Even, meaning the night before All Hallows (Saints) Day.
The ancient Celts believed that the veil between this world and the Otherworld became thin on Samhain, allowing both harmful and harmless spirits to enter into the realm of the living. Good spirits of deceased loved ones were invited in while harmful spirits were scared off by wearing costumes and masks.
As a hypnotherapist I help people change, and change is not easy. The “dark side of change” means leaving what is known and comfortable for something unknown and uncomfortable.
Our minds are powerfully drawn to the familiar and comfortable (habits), even if we’re aware that it’s no longer working for us. Our current way of being is rooted in our mostly deeply held beliefs. For change to occur, new beliefs must be formed.
The ancient traditions such as Halloween help us understand the nature of change. To begin the process of transforming ourselves, we must remove the mask of who we feel we are and try on a new mask (or identity) that’s more in line with our vision of who we want to be.
The new mask will be uncomfortable and foreign, but the wearing of it scares off the dark side of change, or the spirit of the old behavior, which harms us by holding us back from our true power, our “good (god) spirit”. When we don our new identity, we invite that helpful spirit in.
There will be conflict as we try to get comfortable with the new idea of who we are. We will be tempted to put the old mask back on, and at times, we will. Yet, we must continue to wear the new self perception, getting comfortable with it, making it a part of our life. We must remain diligent to not allow the harmful spirit back into our thinking and behavior.
Quite often, while you are letting go of the old behavior and adopting the new, you’ll have to deal with the darker half, or shadow side of yourself, which will attempt to sabotage your best efforts.
You’ll be challenged by the dark side of change, and you’ll be tested. You’ll think it’s too hard and want to give up. Just ask anyone who’s tried to quit smoking or lose a significant amount of weight. They’ll tell you, “It’s like there’s two parts of me, one that wants health and the other that wants to destroy me.”
The best way to scare off those nasty spirits is to enthusiastically (enthusiasm: en theos, or “the god within”) keep pretending to be who you want to be, in your language, in your thoughts and most importantly, in your behavior. You must continue to hold on to your highest value, or highest vision of who you want to be.
Come to believe in and hold a vision of your life that inspires you (inspire: “the spirit within”), so that you can ward of the ghosts of your past and triumph over the dark side of change.
Interesting that All Saint’s Day was originally celebrated on May 13th, in the spring. This date coincided with the ancient feast of Lemuria, where the harmful spirits of the darker half of the year are appeased and exorcised.
As you move into the darker half of the year, take time for introspection. Go deep into the dark places of self knowledge and acknowledge and accept the masks that need to be discarded. Can you keep their negative influence away with your new face? Can you scare off the dark side of change with powerful trust and belief in your new vision?
All traditions have their origins in the human experience. Our desire to release the old and welcome the new and is in accordance with the seasons of life, that ongoing cycle of birth, growth, death and reinvention.
Ted
Photo by Skye Moorehead www.skyemoorhead.comYou, on The Hero’s Journey
/12 Comments/in Blog, Motivation/Inspiration, Personal Development /by HypnotherapyI like Star Wars. “The Empire Strikes Back” is my favorite movie. When I hear the word transformation, I think about Luke Skywalker, and unless you’ve been living in a cave since 1977, you know that he is the hero of the first three Star Wars movies.
Here’s a guy that goes from being a whiny, irresponsible young farm boy to becoming the powerful Jedi Knight that brings peace to the universe by bringing down the evil Galactic Empire. Only in the movies, right? Well, not quite.
The story of Luke Skywalker is a story as old as time. (as is the story of the Hobbit Frodo Baggins) It is known as the Hero’s Journey, and it is found in myths and legends from around the world. The roots of the hero’s journey go back to the ancient wisdom teachings from the earliest of civilizations.
George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, has acknowledged that he owes a debt to mythologist and author Joseph Campbell, whose theories about the hero’s journey have influenced numerous writers and artists.
Here’s a chart from Wikipedia under “The Hero’s Journey”:
In his book, “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” Joseph Campbell describes the hero’s journey. (Click here for a really cool video regarding the Hero’s Journey and “The Matrix”)
According to Wikipedia: “Campbell describes a number of stages or steps along this journey.”:
What’s interesting is that this chart looks very similar to another diagram that I am quite familiar with:
Coincidence? I think not. Any substantial change or transformation means stepping into the unknown and facing the enemy inside.
Let’s examine the hero’s journey from the perspective of Theory of Mind. The top part of both circles is the ordinary world, the realm of our conscious minds.
As we mature, we are called to adventure. This call is to take responsibility for our lives. This may involve going away for school, getting married, starting a career, or having children. This is a call most of us are willing to answer. Of course, there are challenges, sometimes major.
At this point there is a threshold to cross. We can choose to play it safe, sticking with the known and familiar, stuck in behaviors that don’t serve us, stopped by fear of the unknown. Or, we can choose the path of growth and transformation in an effort to create our lives.
We can choose to delve into the unknown, making a conscious choice to continue along the road of trials in search of a life that is meaningful and worth living, even if the path is unclear. We may realize that we cannot do it alone, and search for guidance in spirituality or religion, seeking out mentors, or being open to help from powers unseen.
In our journey to create a life, we encounter the road of trials: loss of innocence, loss of love, rejection, disappointment, failure, intense pain, illness. At this point we may be made aware of our own character defects that brought us to this rocky road. These defects can be bad habits or addictions, mental or physical laziness, or values that are lacking, not clearly defined or not adhered to.
Now we are in the abyss, the realm of the subconscious mind. We may have to fight demons that arise to keep us from moving ahead. We come face to face with our fears and doubts. Our primitive mind will kick in with fight or flight as a last ditch attempt to protect us from the unknown. We will want to turn back or quit altogether.
If we choose to continue on the path to transformation, a part of us must die. Campbell calls this “Atonement with the Father”. Luke Skywalker, in his battle with Darth Vader (“Dark Father” representing the evil part of himself) loses his hand and throws himself into the abyss, choosing death instead of surrender to the Dark Side. What dies in us is our identification with our ego, who we think we are, our limitations, our physical bodies. We become present to who we really are: infinite energy, light, spirit.
We can now enroll our subconscious minds as a helper, as we work to get comfortable with new ways of thinking, behaving, and relating to ourselves. Our true powers are revealed to us: trust, faith, intuition, courage. We have acquired the gifts of wisdom and foresight. We’ve developed clearly defined values that guide us and that are not negotiable.
We are now transformed, born again, and as such, we may seek to share our learning (the gift) to the world as we incorporate and synthesize our wisdom back into ordinary life.
The hero’s journey is humanity’s struggle to bring order out of chaos. Each of us walks the path of the hero’s journey, whether we realize it or not; in our daily lives, we seek transcendence over the mundane, the petty and the ordinary.
We are all continually called to action, to be great, bold, courageous. We will shy away from this call, yet it is unceasing. Transformation happens when we go boldly where we have not gone before, to quote a phrase, and trust that the universe conspires in our favor.
See yourself as the hero when you feel stuck, beaten, or paralyzed to move forward. You are fighting the same battle that each person fights, travelling the same journey as every human that ever lived. It is the struggle to become more than what we are.
Ted
Photo by David Johnston www.dk9studio.comWhy You Need Discomfort!
/13 Comments/in Blog, Career Success, Goal Achievement, Motivation/Inspiration /by HypnotherapyOne hot summer day found me at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I was on a river rafting trip with Arizona River Runners and 30 other people. My buddy Brian was driving the boat on this 9 day trip down the Colorado River.
One evening after dinner while people were pitching their tents, one of the passengers came running up to tell us that there was a rattlesnake near the tents. Brian grabbed his “snake tool” and we headed off to capture the snake and relocate him to another part of the beach. A few of the passengers were quite fearful because they had never seen a rattlesnake.
Try as we might, we couldn’t get close enough to snag it. The snake preferred to stay deep in the brush. We assured the frightened passengers that snakes would rather avoid people and that this snake would try to get as far away from us as possible.
On the last day of the trip, a woman approached me and Brian and confided that she was so uncomfortable with snakes that she had decided to stop drinking water. Her plan was to get so dehydrated that she would have to be helicoptered out of the canyon. Temperatures at the bottom of the canyon can get as high as 120 degrees in the summer, so if you don’t drink water you can get dehydrated bad enough that you’ll have to be flown out to the nearest hospital. Cost: $1500 for the ride.
She had a choice: possibly risk her life by dehydration and pay for evacuation from a trip which she had already spent a good deal of money, or face her discomfort in order to experience a once in a lifetime adventure.
She chose to stick it out. She realized that to experience the beauty and majesty of the Grand Canyon from a boat on the river, she would have to endure some discomfort. Like any wilderness expedition, a river trip down the Canyon involves blazing heat, sleeping on the ground, no shower or public facilities, and an array of wildlife including poisonous snakes. At the end of the trip, she shared that it was one of the most incredible experiences of her life. She decided that she could endure some discomfort.
How many opportunities for growth have you passed up because you wanted to avoid some discomfort? How many exciting adventures have you missed out on? How much of the juice of life have you left behind because it might involve discomfort?
T. Harv Eker says in his book “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind”: “The only time you are actually growing is when you are uncomfortable.” Where you are now in your life, financially, physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, is within your comfort zone. To grow, to learn and to change, you need to step out of that comfort zone and get uncomfortable.”
It’s not easy to do something you’ve never done before. It won’t feel right, you won’t be doing it perfect, you will feel out of place, it’s not what you thought. However, with a little consistency and by doing it regularly, something interesting happens: It starts to get easier. If you persist, something amazing happens. It becomes very comfortable to do it and possibly uncomfortable not to.
This is how habits are formed. You give your(subconscious) mind time to get comfortable with something new by walking through the initial discomfort. Think about the things you want to do but haven’t, like starting an exercise program, taking a class, going on a trip, introducing yourself to someone or joining a club or organization. Is it the discomfort of the unknown that’s stopping you? If you want to move you in the direction of embracing discomfort for growth or learning, here are some things to thing about.
Why Discomfort?
The reason hypnotherapy is effective in creating change is that it helps your mind become comfortable with the new and unfamiliar. Try this on: every time you feel uncomfortable see it as an opportunity for growth. Embrace discomfort! Welcome it! If you are uncomfortable, it simply means you are alive and growing.
If you just can’t stand the discomfort but have decided that you need it, I can help you. Contact me by clicking here.
Ted
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Being Grateful for the Things that Went Wrong
/18 Comments/in Holiday, Motivation/Inspiration, Personal Development, Self Esteem, Top Blog Post /by HypnotherapyAs we approach Thanksgiving, much will be written this week about gratitude, how to give thanks, counting blessings, how not to stuff yourself like a tick, etc.
I’d like to suggest being grateful for things in your life that went wrong. Things that didn’t go according to plan.
Now before I go any further let me say that, sometimes when stuff goes wrong, some really bad things can happen. It would be hard to be grateful for losing someone you love in a sudden terrible accident.
Still, many people that I speak with who have lost a loved one, often say that it was a wake up call for them; they realized that they were not being grateful by taking their lives for granted and resolved to live with more passion and love.
Recently, I was watching 127 Hours, the movie about Aron Ralston, the guy who survived a hiking accident by amputating his arm which was stuck under a boulder. Seems being grateful that would be really hard to do. Still, he gave a speech (he’s paid up to $37,ooo for speeches) “about how he did not lose a hand, but gained his life back.”
I had really bad back problems as a young man. Somedays I couldn’t get out of bed. But it got me into a habit of daily stretching that continues to this day that has kept me lean and mean (at least I think so). I’ve also been challenged by severe eye problems that necessitated shots in my eyeball. I asked the doctors “What can I do to keep this from happening again?” They said “Walk everyday.” Being grateful for those problems is easy because I walk daily and I love it. Better than a sharp stick in the eye.
Now when something goes wrong in my life, it’s a bit easier to ask myself “What is the lesson here? How can I grow from this?” Being grateful for the tough times is a little easier while they are happening even though the thanks sometimes comes grudgingly.
Can you look back and feel gratitude for:
You might be thinking “How can I possibly be grateful for ____?”
Well, did you learn something? Did you become stronger? More compassionate? Wiser? More honest? More loving?
Did you find some tough stuff within that you didn’t know you had that still serves you to this day? Were you able to draw out some courage or cleverness that allowed you to get to the other side?
Were you humbled? Did you get closer to God or your fellow man or woman? Was all the superficial, artificial, surface glitter and glam stripped away to reveal the real rock hard diamond deep down inside?
If so, then you’ve got something to be grateful for, my friend. Doesn’t mean you liked it, or want to go through it again, it could just mean that you can say “It happened, I got through it, and I got something of value from it.”
If there is anything in you that is good, strong, right, and true, anything powerful and bold, any small measure of grit and bad- assedness, I’m not sure you would have it without those experiences.
It’s called a re-frame. You pull that dusty old stuff out of the basement, that junk that has been sucking your self esteem and self worth out of you, and you polish it off, hang it up and display it like a badge of honor, even if you’re the only one who sees it. You say to yourself “Yeah, I was flat on my back, I was down and out, I was crushed, hanging by a thread, written off, forgotten, humiliated, burned out and close to dead but dammit, I did not die! I am here to tell the tale! Yes it was tough but I was tougher!
That’s what I’m talking about. Being grateful for every little bit of it. It means you’re alive.
Ted
31 Scary Questions to Ask Yourself
/5 Comments/in Blog, mindfullness, Motivation/Inspiration, Personal Development, Top Blog Post /by HypnotherapyIt’s all about scary this week as we approach Halloween and Day of the Dead.
It’s a time when it’s fun to be scared, as long as we know that it’s just a movie, or someone dressed up as the walking dead.
Truth is, there are plenty of really scary things out there. But by far, the scariest things are those that we hide from ourselves, the things that we are afraid to deal with.
Unresolved issues that haunt us, pain we can’t seem to release, resentment that traps us in unhappiness. These are the monsters under the bed, the goblins that we spend so much energy keeping locked in the closet, for fear of what they might do if looked at them.
Of course, once we turn on the bedroom light, look under the bed and throw the closet door open, we find that there is nothing to fear.
Shining the light of our awareness on those things that we don’t want to deal with allows us to see them clearly.Then we can take the opportunity to clean them up or straighten things out.
Asking yourself a few scary questions can help you transform an unseen ghoul into Casper the Friendly Ghost. (Who really just wants to lend a helping hand.)
Ask yourself these 31 scary questions and see if any of them make you a little freaky. If so, perhaps you are starting to exorcise some demons! Keep asking yourself those questions and see what comes up.
31 Scary Questions to ask yourself.
Perhaps a few of these scary questions brought up some stuff. You might not be able to answer some of these scary questions in the way you feel you should or would like to.
If so, copy those scary questions and paste them into a word or notepad etc. document. Delete all the questions that don’t have an emotional charge for you. Keep deleting until you have about 5 or 10 of the biggest, baddest scary questions that are giving you the heebie jeebies.
Now keep these questions where you will see them. Maybe write them down on a 3×5 card and carry them around with you. Keep asking yourself these scary questions with awareness so that you can move beyond fear, negative self- judgement and shame and into the possibility of changing the answers.
For instance, to the question: “Do I like myself?” you might answer “No! I don’t! And it really sucks! I hate that I don’t like myself!
See if you can move into non-judgement: “OK, I don’t like myself. I’m probably not the only one. I’m not a terrible person because I don’t like myself. But I want to like myself. So what can I do to begin to like myself?”
See how many of those scary questions you can bury by committing to some action. Bless and release old ways of being that no longer serve you and that are ready to be laid to rest. Then continue on your journey, a little more confident, on your way to an attitude of gratitude.
Need some help on your journey? You can contact me by clicking here.
Ted