Learn to Love the Fool in You

Hotei, god of happiness. Photo by Andrea Schaffer

Hotei, god of happiness. Photo by Andrea Schaffer

Don’t be a fool. You need to Look Good. It’s all about looking good and not looking foolish.

Here in Southern California, looking good is paramount. Not only in how you dress, but what you do, what you say, how you say it, who you hang out with, what you have, and how you have it. It’s gotta look good.

Chances are, especially here in So Cal, most of us don’t even realize the time and effort we put into looking good. God forbid that we come across looking like a fool.

But in fact, we are all fools. Deep down inside us, there is something about us that is potentially embarrassing; even thinking about makes us cringe.

It might be something you did long ago, or last year. Some major screw-up, or failure; some perceived missing of the mark (the meaning of the word sin, by the way). We got our heart broken, got taken advantage of, fell on our face. Perhaps it was something we failed to do. It might be something we do now, that we try to hide with the utmost effort. There are things we want to do, but dare not, for fear of looking like a fool. There is probably more than one that comes to mind.

Think about the incredible energy that goes into looking good in an attempt to hide the fool inside. More importantly, think about what it is costing you. The obsession to look good keeps us from

  • taking risks
  • playing full out
  • being fully self expressed in our words
  • displaying our passion ( you gotta be cool)
  • falling in love and loving
  • displaying our true emotions
  • being authentic

Sometime I meet people that I think are so cool and real and genuine, I want to blurt out “Wow, I just met you but I can tell that you are a totally awesome person and I really like you!” Of course, I don’t, because it wouldn’t look good and I would come across looking childish and foolish, at least to most people. But it’s the fool in me that wants to say it.

The image above is the Fool card from the Rider-Waite Tarot deck. It is a young man, standing on a precipice, seemingly oblivious, his head in the clouds. He’s got a rose in one hand and his worldly possessions in the other.

According to Wikipedia:

The Fool is the spirit in search of experience. He represents the mystical cleverness bereft of reason within us, the childlike ability to tune into the inner workings of the world. The sun shining behind him represents the divine nature of the Fool’s wisdom and exuberance, holy madness or ‘crazy wisdom‘.

 We are all on the Fool’s Journey, and it is our “holy madness’ that makes us do things we may consider foolish or unreasonable in the name of love, hope, inspiration, creativity and idealism. Our looking good is what stands in the way of our bliss, found in the unrestrained desire to experience this fleeting life. The inner workings of the world, the mysterious forces that moves us to inexplicable action,  do not follow a protocol, rules, social mores or conventional behavior. They flow through us and from us, like Yoda’s Force, and allow us to tap into the power of our own divine nature.

How do we come to love the fool inside? What can we do to integrate our desire for acceptance with our sometimes foolish nature?

  • Forgive your fool. Cut it some slack. Are there good things that came out of your foolish behavior? Wisdom, at the very least?
  • Be aware of the pervasive desire to look good at all costs. Just open your eyes to see it on a daily basis. Then be ok with it: it’s the design of human being.
  • Let your fool out to play. It might be trying your hand at karaoke, telling a silly joke, revealing a vulnerability or expressing a long held feeling or emotion. Take a risk.
  • Make a distinction between being child like and childish. The Fool revels in child like abandon and wonder, in marveling at the awesome mystery of the world.
  • Everybody plays the fool sometime. There’s no exception to the rule. Get over it and accept this essential part of you.

Bless the fool within you, without it you are less human, a robot following the programming that seeks to control you. It’s there for a reason; be confident enough, courageous enough, and big enough to celebrate it.

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to the Ted in Your Head podcast, episode 31.

If you liked this post, please leave a comment and/or share it with your social networks using the buttons below. Don’t worry about looking foolish.

Ted

Ted’s Book Now Available on Kindle!

41M5MI1lsSL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-63,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_

My book “The Ultimate Guide to Letting Go of Negativity and Fear and Loving Life” is now available in Kindle format from Amazon.com! Click here or on the image to order or to take a look inside to preview.  I’ve actually got three five star reviews.

Also, don’t forget, my Self Hypnosis for Success class starts this Saturday (June 30th) from 9 am to 10:30 and continues for the next two Saturdays (July 7th and 14th). You can read about it by clicking here, or why not just register by clicking here?

A subconscious mind is a terrible thing to waste, why not put it to work for you? Hope to see you there.

 

What You Need When You Don’t Know What to Do

474px-The_Valley_of_Diamonds_by_Maxfield_Parrish

If read many articles or blogs in print or online, you may have noticed many  that start with “10 easy ways to…” or “43 things you should…” or “3 step formula for…”

Why are there so many articles and blogs that start this way?  Because readers respond to them.

They respond because we are all looking for those x number of steps, for the magic formula, for the specific directions that will tell us how to get what we want. We read self help books, go to seminars, subscribe to the magazines and follow the gurus or religious traditions hoping we will get the road map to peace, happiness, success, or fulfillment.  Of course, there are a lot of people willing to tell you that they have the secret you are searching for. Read more

26 Things To Start Doing Today!

A while ago I posted 43 Things to Stop Doing Now!  Here are some things that you can start doing today that might make a difference in your life. Print them out and hang them up and see how many you can check off.
  1. Talk to strangers. Are you afraid of strangers? Guess what? They’re afraid of you too. That’s why people fail to connect. Just try saying “Hi” or “Good Day”.
  2. Smile. Try this: put a big smile on your face and try to feel depressed. What you do with your body will affect how you feel. No need to be such a sourpuss!
  3. Pick something in the natural world to follow.  Try to keep track of the phases of the moon. Or always be aware of what’s going on with the tree across from your house. Be aware of the solstices, equinoxes.
  4. Walk outside. Doesn’t matter what time. Or how long. Just do it.
  5. Create something. Try writing a song or a short story. Draw something. Cook something you’ve never cooked before. Get that right brain activated.
  6. Write a letter or send a card. It’s a dying art, writing something, putting it into an envelope and sending it. There’s probably someone you should be writing to.
  7. Grow something. Preferable something legal. Plant a tree or a bush or some flowers or some seeds. Stick a couple of toothpicks in an avocado pit and suspend it in water. Nurture it.
  8. Read a book. Emily Dickinson said “There is no frigate like a book.”
  9. Listen to music you are not familiar with. Try listening to something by Bach, Beethoven or Mozart. Try bluegrass. How about jazz? Expand your mind.
  10. Sit and do nothing. Don’t read, don’t listen to the radio, don’t watch tv. Just sit quietly and see how your mind resists being still. Then sit some more.
  11. Stretch for 10 minutes every morning.
  12. Pull out some some favorite photos and put the on the fridge. Change them weekly.
  13. Say something nice to yourself every day. “Every day in every way I’m getting better and better.”
  14. Say something nice to someone else every day.
  15. Listen more than you talk. You know, the two ears and one mouth thing…
  16. Donate some money every month. Even if it’s just 5 bucks.
  17. Pencil into your planner today that thing you’ve been meaning to do. Recapture the mental energy from that thing.
  18. Get a daily planner. Every night, create the next day.
  19. Drink more water.
  20. Be grateful. Everyday. Say at least once a day “I’m so grateful for___”
  21. Set 3 goals for the next 30 days. One that is easy, one that will require more time and effort, and one that will really stretch you. Be sure to write them down.
  22. Become an expert in something. Maybe it’s trains, or cactus, or The Beatles or Mexican Literature. Learn everything you can about it.
  23. Give something valuable away to someone that you know would like it. Practice freedom from attachment.
  24. Connect with the transcendent within you. It takes practice.
  25. Declare yourself OK with being alive. Say out loud everyday: “I’m glad I’m alive even though ____(fill in blank).
  26. Decide to be happy. Now. Tomorrow. Everyday. It’s possible. It takes practice. Just make the choice.

If you liked this post, please leave a comment and/or share it with your social networks.  

Your companion on the journey to transformation,

Ted A. Moreno

Personal/Small Business Coach
Certified Hypnotherapist

 

 

12 Laws of Life, Part 2

948497_36c1fdd2

Photo by James AllanHere is Part 2 of the 12 Laws of Life, an article by a man named Tom Hoobyar, who was an inventor and high tech CEO.  Tom Hoobyar died on September 25th, 2001. I really don’t know much about him or his life, but I very much appreciate his wisdom. I hope you do too. To read part 1, click here.

12 Laws of Life (Part 2) by Tom Hoobyar

7. EXPECT LESS FROM OTHERS AND MORE FROM YOURSELF. Most people expect way too much from others while they themselves actually get very little done. Inertia and distraction are insidious and damn near universal — expect it in others but guard against it in your own behavior.

Everyone listens to his or her favorite mental radio station — W.I.I.F.M., which stands for, Read more

Ted A. Moreno on “Amazing Minds” on HMI Web TV

I had the bright idea of sending my book, “The Ultimate Guide to Letting Go of Negativity and Fear and Loving Life” to George Kappas, the director of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, the hypnotherapy college I attended. Shortly after, I was invited to be on their web TV show “Amazing Minds.” HMI has streaming video 24/7 on HMI WebTV , if you are ever curious about hypnosis or what’s going on at HMI.

 

12 Laws of Life, Part I

settingsun

Recently I came across this article by a man named Tom Hoobyar, who was an inventor and high tech CEO.  It contains some of the wisest words I’ve ever read. Tom Hoobyar died on September 25th, 2001, but his words live on. Take some time to read one of my favorite guest posts.

12 Laws of Life by Tom Hoobyar

1. SELF-MANAGEMENT AND PEOPLE SKILLS ARE THE KEYS TO YOUR SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS. This is a MAJOR fact of life. And it took me a long time to get this. If you want to be smarter than me you’ll give this first principle serious consideration. Your skill level in these two areas will determine the quality of your whole life. Every champion and high achiever knows this. These simple skills are the clear difference between winners in life, and losers.

If you learn to manage yourself you can accomplish anything you can dream up. You can deal with negative experiences wisely and you can add skills as you need them. You can become unstoppable. Self management puts you on the launching pad to all the success you desire.

Most people limit themselves by their unwillingness to consider personal change. They won’t learn new things and they won’t change their behaviors even when they discover they’ve been wrong. The funny thing is, self-change is EASY. You are the one person that you can get to anytime you want. You don’t need permission or an appointment, and no one can stop you from learning and changing whenever you decide to. The only obstacle is you! Self-management is actually the first step to building people skills.

Once you commit to changing yourself into who you can be, you will notice the people around you in a different way. Now you see them as fellow beings with their own fears and drives. And they will see you with new respect and attractiveness.

You are surrounded by people who can help or harm you, based on how you treat them. Learning how people work is a skill, just like learning how you work. These people can multiply your efforts and supercharge your success It takes leadership and persuasion skills – people skills.

People skills are like a booster rocket propelling you to your dreams. And the process of succeeding with others can be learned just like you learn to make toast. If you follow directions and practice, you can develop the skills that will make you very happy and prosperous.

2. YOU ARE AT THE CENTER OF YOUR UNIVERSE. STAY THERE! As a young sailor I learned the hard way that Read more

Great Words for the End of the Year

800px-Schneeflocken_in_Deutschland_-_20100102

The words “go placidly amid the noise and haste” have been in my head recently. I googled them and discovered they are from a poem called the Desiderata (Latin: “desired things”) by Max Ehrmann. I was surprised to read on Wikipedia that when Adlai Stevenson died in 1965, this poem was found by his bedside, and that he had planned to use it in his Christmas cards. I pass it along as my holiday wish for you.

Desiderata 

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

If you liked this post, please leave a comment and/or share it with your social networks using the buttons below.

Wishing you Happiness,

Ted

How to Be Peaceful

greenpeace

Peace. In the media you will hear that word almost daily. Peace talks. Peace in the Middle East. The peace process. Peace activists. Nobel Peace Prize. Peace of mind. Peace and quiet.

Most people want and strive for peace. Yet, peace seems in  short supply these days. Why is peace so rare in our lives, as well as in the world at large? Sometimes it appears that long lasting peace is almost impossible. Granted, there exists an abundance of beauty and harmony, and even though it may not seem like it, the vast majority of the world is not at war (at least not in political wars.) In spite of that, we must acknowledge that as a race, we have a long and bloody history of violence, murder, war, and genocide. I think we can agree that we can do better. Read more

If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out

I’m taking a break from writing anything this week, but I had to post something! Here is a video from one of my favorite movies featuring one of my favorite songs. “Harold and Maude” featuring “If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out” by Cat Stevens. Enjoy.