The Right Question Is Better Than the Answer

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The right question

“Judge a man by his questions, rather than his answers.”

~Voltaire

Sometimes the right question is more important than the answer.

When we ask a question, especially to ourselves,  we expect an answer. We all want answers. But sometimes, asking the right question is more important than getting an answer.

Questions often contain beliefs. So when we ask a question that has a belief hidden in it, we will get an answer that is confined by that belief.  So you want to ask the right question to get an answer filled with possibility.

For example, say you make a mistake, then ask the question “What’s wrong with me?” The question contains the belief that there is something wrong with you. You might not think there is, but ask that question enough times and your subconscious mind starts accepting that belief. Here are answers you are likely to get:

  • Because you’re an idiot
  • Because you always screw it up
  • Because you are a loser

There is no access to possibility in these answers.

Another example:  “Why is this bad thing happening to me?”

The question assumes the belief that something bad is happening to you. It suggests that you are a victim to circumstance.

Possible answers based on that belief:

  • You deserve to be punished
  • You are unlucky
  • God hates you

Do you see how these two questions are not good questions to ask, even lightly?

After all,  what’s wrong with you might be what causes you to make the mistake that wakes you up and transforms your life.

And that negative thing that happened to you? Maybe it happened for your own good and what you learned saves your life someday. What if, on some level,  you drew that experience to you? We have to consider that possibility, don’t we? That what is happening to you is just you?

But you’ll never even get close to what is possible for you if you don’t ask the right question.

Instead of “Why is this happening to me”, the right question might be: “What is the reason I brought this experience to me?” That questions contains the hidden belief that you created that experience for a reason, perhaps for learning and wisdom.

Now, it may not be “true” that you created your experience for learning and wisdom. But it seems like a helluva better question for creating the possibility of learning and wisdom.

The right question might also be:

  • What can I learn from this experience? or
  • What is being shown to me from this experience? or
  • Why am I having this reaction to this experience?

Instead of “What’s wrong with me?, the right question might be:

  • How can I avoid this mistake in the future? or
  • What can I learn from this mistake? or
  • What’s right with me right now in the face of this mistake?

The right question can always be asked in a number of different ways.

The right question can be so powerful it doesn’t need an answer.

Sometimes, just asking the right question opens the mind and makes it available to receive information, although perhaps not specific answers.

For instance, take the big 3 questions of existence:

  • Who am I? (creates the possibility for self knowledge and self awareness)
  • Why am I here? (assumes the belief that I have a purpose for being here.)
  • Where am I going? (assumes that belief that I have a destination after death)

These are powerful questions. You can spend the rest of your life pondering these questions and never get an answer. (Most folks don’t bother.)  However, if you are diligent in asking these questions with clear intent, it’s possible that you will come to see things that most people don’t see. Some of the mysteries of the universe might be revealed to you. How could they not?

I don’t want to get too philosophical, I’m simply suggesting that language is powerful and that asking the right question will determine the quality of what you receive.

  • Instead of “What’s wrong with people?” ask “What is it about us humans that produces that behavior?
  • Instead of “Why can’t I get it right?” ask “How can I get the result I want?”
  • Instead of  “Why can’t I be successful?” ask “What are the actions I need to take to be successful?”
  • Instead of “Why does this always happen?” ask “How can I keep this pattern from occurring so often?”

To make this a powerful consciousness-raising exercise (assuming you are interested in such a thing) get in the habit of asking the right question. Whenever you ask a question, ANY question, step back and ask yourself “Is this the right question to ask?” If asking the question opens the door to possibility, you know that you have asked the right question.

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com episode 59

Ted

Personal Power: How to Increase Your Ability to Affect the Universe

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“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, Therefore all progress is made by the unreasonable man.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Personal Power is your ability to take action. It is the use of your life force to affect the universe in a way that suits you.

We are not born with much personal power, yet, we attempt to assert it as soon as possible. We cry, we grasp, we refuse, in an attempt to meet our needs. As soon as we are able, we touch what we want, take what we want, put it in our mouth, bang it on a table, and throw it away when we lose interest.

Our personal power is dependent on our belief systems.

Our ability to use our personal power  to get our needs met is soon limited by our socialization. We are taught from an early age what we cannot and are not allowed to do.

Eventually, we see ourselves at the effect of the universe, instead of the other way around. We blame circumstances outside of ourselves for our inability to get what we want. Soon, we come to believe that to exercise our personal power, we must be reasonable and act according to established rules about “how things work.” We accept these rules as facts, but for the most part, they are beliefs.

At a seminar I was attending, the seminar leader held up a 20 dollar bill. “Who wants this 20 dollars?” she asked. Everyone raised their hands. “Who wants it?” she asked again. Some people started answering “Me! Me! I do!”  She continued to hold up the 20 dollar bill. “Who really wants this 20 dollar bill?”

I stood up and grabbed the 20 dollar bill out of her hand and immediately felt like I had done something wrong. In my belief system, grabbing something out of someone’s hand in public is not acceptable.  Turns out she was waiting for someone to come and take it.

Our personal power is depleted by our emotions.

Often when we act on an intention, we’ll encounter resistance or obstacles. These trigger emotions of frustration, anger or futility, which rob us of our personal power and keep us from attempting in the future. We have thoughts that “This shouldn’t be happening” or “It should not be hard”. We then end up in the weakened position of not being able to accept what is right in front of us, robbing us of the opportunity to learn and increase our personal power.

Our personal power is depleted by other people’s energy.

Other people’s opinions, comments, approval or lack there of can drain us of our personal power if we let them. Negative ways of being that other people exhibit regularly can suck our personal power like vampires. Even more inhibiting can be “no-possibility” cultures existing at work or in the family.

Ten ways to increase your personal power.

  1. Adopt the belief that you can affect the universe. Why not?
  2. Cultivate the habit of taking an action immediately when the need hits you. This might be writing something down, making a call, sending an email or making a plan.
  3. Declare yourself blocked and immune to other people’s negativity.
  4. Decide to do something boldly audacious or unreasonable. Tell everyone you intend to do it “As God is my witness’ or “Come hell or high water.” In spite of their opinions and/or nay-saying, deliver.
  5. Start doing something worthwhile every single day that you are not doing already. Resolve to do it daily until the day you die.
  6. Practice saying no to petty distractions or obligations that promise to derail you.
  7. Practice asking repeatedly until you get what you want at the risk of being annoying.
  8. Decide on something you want that will be not worth the inconvenience to get it. Be willing to inconvenience yourself just to get it.
  9. If you find yourself unable to exercise your personal power because of some “rule” or “fact” tell yourself: “What if this is just a belief? How do I know it’s true?” (Note: all facts are beliefs and no belief is true.)
  10. Take an action that will require great effort and accomplish it without emotion. Refuse to get emotional about any of it until you accomplish it. Then celebrate.

“Everything we do, everything we are, rests on our personal power. If we have enough of it, one word is enough to change the course of our lives. If we don’t, the most magnificent piece of wisdom can be revealed to us and that revelation won’t make a damn bit of difference.”

~Don Juan, from Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com Episode 60

 

10 Strategies to Avoid Failure

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How to Avoid Failure:

 

  1. Never try. If there is even a chance of failure, don’t even attempt it. Play it safe to avoid failure. If you can’t win them all why win any?
  2. Play small. To avoid failure, don’t go for anything audacious or exceptional. Stay average. Don’t stand out. Don’t call attention to yourself.
  3. Stay in your comfort zone. It if involves discomfort or the unknown, avoid failure by staying the hell away. Stick with what is known and familiar.
  4. Always let fear dictate your actions. If fear of failure shows up, there’s a good chance failure might happen. To avoid failure, let your fear stop you. Stay home and hide out.
  5. Put “always looking  good” at the top of your standards. Failure doesn’t make you look good, so if you are always focused on looking good, you can avoid failure. After all, looking good is very important to many people, isn’t it?
  6. Never be willing to grow or learn. This almost always involves failure, which almost always involves growing and learning, so stay stunted.
  7. Never set goals. Only 3 percent of people set goals by writing them down. Those 3 percent will experience failure, you can bet.
  8. Never dream. Be practical. Avoid failure by never getting  in over your head or biting off more than you can chew.
  9. Don’t put anything at stake. You can avoid failure by never losing anything.
  10. Totally hate on stuff that goes wrong.  To avoid failure, you don’t want anything to go wrong. You want to be in control of everything at all times.

ps. Interestingly, these are the same strategies to avoid success.

pss. If you are interested in being  successful in any way, you can probably do that by doing exactly the opposite of the above. If you need help, click here. 

To hear my podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com Epidode 64.

Ted

 

Super Productivity Top 10 Tips

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Productivity

Super Productivity is productivity that not only allows you to get stuff done but to feel super about it.

I have an aversion to pain and suffering.If it is Painful Productivity I don’t want any part of it.

I was reading a blog post that featured some productivity wisdom by Tim Ferris, author of the international best seller The 4-Hour Workweek. I was gratified to see that of the six tips he offered, I always teach 5 to my clients who want to increase productivity.

I’m expanding my thinking these days, so instead of 5,  here are Ted’s Top Ten Tips for Super Productivity.

1. Start the day centered and grounded. Jim Rohn said “Either you run the day, or the day runs you.” How you start the day will affect how your day goes. If you wake up and you are already rushing around and running late, the day is running you. Give yourself some space to be prepared mentally and feel super  in the morning, even if it means getting up earlier to exercise, read or meditate.

2. Write down your goals the night before. Make your to do list the night before. Plan to start the next day with the most important things that will make the biggest difference, or start with the hardest. This way, you move into the day with momentum and the feeling of productivity and being super!

3. Keep yourself fed and watered. I have an avocado tree and a tangerine tree in my back yard. If I don’t water them and feed them, they don’t produce. Same with you.

4. Have a routine or a system. Develop a habit of productivity by using a system that works for you. It might include a Franklin Covey type planner, Outlook tasks, or one of the many online tools available. I use the Pomodoro Technique and a daily calendar sheet with my list that I carry around in my shirt pocket. Not very high tech but it super works.

5. Prioritize tasks. Some days you are not going to be able to do it all. Prioritization maximizes your productivity and focus so that you get the most super important stuff done. Roll the non-essential stuff over to another day.

6. Pay someone to do those things that are not worth your time. What can you take off of your plate by paying someone else to do that gets paid less per hour than you do? For 10 bucks week, my super gardener does in 45 minutes what it used to take me 3 hours to do.

7. Work simultaneously instead of sequentially. Instead of working on something  for four hours, work on it for an hour and half, then another project for an hour,  then another for an hour or so.  Be moving a number of projects forward a the same time. Waiting to start the next one until the current one is done is a super productivity killer.

8. Get rid of distractions. Turn off email, Facebook and silence your phone while you are working on a task. These are the biggest time vampires that will suck the productivity out of you. Work for an hour, then take 15 minutes to return calls or email. One guy I know has a phone message: “I return calls between 4 and 6 pm”, thus setting the expectations of his callers as to when their call will be returned. Guard your time like the super precious asset it is.

9. Be ok with failure. Dan Kennedy says “Success is cooked up in a messy kitchen.” Don’t wait for conditions to be super, or perfect, or for your desk to be organized or the moon to be full. Just start and keep moving forward. Things might get screwed up, you may need to scramble, improvise, or start over. Sometimes that’s what it looks like.

10. Take a break. Being super productive doesn’t mean killing yourself or not spending time with loved ones. Productivity doesn’t necessarily mean struggle either. Play some music, take a walk, call a friend, eat some ice-cream, then get back to it refreshed and renewed and feeling super good!

Need help with productivity or procrastination? I’d love to help you. Click here to contact me. And, to hear my podcast of this blog, check out my podcast TedinYouHead.com episode 65.

Your companion on the path to possibility,

Ted

 

Weight Loss is Seldom About Weight

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Weight Loss

“Truth is Beauty” photo by Jennifer Morrow

Of all the things I help people with in my hypnotherapy practice, it seems that weight loss is the most difficult. 

I don’t really advertise it. When someone calls me for weight loss, I tell them that it is going to be a minimum of eight sessions.  I want to make sure they are serious.

Because weight loss is rarely about food and weight.

I was recently asked by the amazing Lauren Herrera of Pilates Barbell Club in Pasadena to be a contributor to her Triple Fat Loss Formula Program. (Click here to see outtakes of a video we made.)

She posted a blog post with words that carry uncommon wisdom and leave no doubt in my mind that she “gets it” when it comes to weight loss and fitness. Here’s a little of what she wrote:

“Food issues” and losing weight are rarely about the food or the weight.

Our interaction with food and our reliance on self-acceptence through a number on the scale or tag on our clothing perpetuates a never ending battle of self-hate, deprivation of food, insane exercise regimens (over-doing cardio, or actually doing an ‘insane’ workout) encompass the never-ending cycle of diet, binge, repeat. Or worse, diet, workout like a nut, get injured, then binge out of depression and defeat and then repeat.

If it’s not about the food, than what is it about?
Well, YOU. And everything that makes you UNIQUE, WONDERFUL, TALENTED and LOVABLE. Even if you don’t see it.

Weight loss is about being ok with and accepting yourself.

 

Lauren’s ideas about weight loss reflect an enlightened approach because they speak to the reasons why weight loss can be so hard.

The reason weight loss can be so difficult is because very often food is used to soothe negative emotions such as stress, low self worth, worry, anger, and  emotional pain such as loneliness and depression . It’s hard to see these emotions as part of the cause of being overweight when so much attention is on comparing one’s body to the body on the latest cover of  Whatever Magazine. Or, focusing on the latest diet or work out fad.

Furthermore, weight loss can be sabotaged by what is known as “secondary gain”. This is a situation where subconsciously, there is more advantage to keeping the weight than losing it.

For instance, after the loss of a relationship and the resulting heartbreak,  a woman may desire to lose weight, but be unable to do so no matter how hard she tries. This can be a fear based protective mechanism to avoid attracting another relationship and the emotional pain that may result. This is almost impossible to see in one’s self without some help. But if you can see it, then you can deal with it through compassion and love for yourself to heal and move forward.

This blog post is not about how to achieve weight loss, it’s simply food for thought (no pun intended) if weight loss is one of your goals.

A very helpful question to ask yourself in your quest for weight loss is “What am I hungry for?” We are all hungry for love, attention, happiness, acknowledgement, and acceptance. Once we can identify our deep seated human needs, then we can begin to work on getting those needs met. If we can’t identify our needs, we will find a way to ease the pain of the lack of them, be it through, food, alcohol, drugs, sex or work.

The intention behind weight loss should be to honor the gift of our bodies through physical fitness and health. Start with that in mind and everything else will follow. Like Lauren says:

Truth is our attractiveness will fade with age. But, our ability to be independent, self-reliant and MOBILE when we are pushing 75 is the bigger picture. Enjoying the 100 year lifespan we are projected to have is what it’s about for me.

Me too. Hope to see you in 2060.

Ted

Self Hypnosis Class Starting June 14: Master Your Mind

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Self hypnosis

Why is permanent change so hard?

The answer is because only 12% of your mind (conscious) wants to change.  Your subconscious mind, which is 88% of your mind, wants to stay the same. What your subconscious mind wants is based on your childhood conditioning, past experiences and beliefs.

You have the ability to change your subconscious programming using self hypnosis.  You’ll have an opportunity to learn self hypnosis at my upcoming Self Hypnosis for Success Class at Pasadena City College starting June 14th. Click here to register.

Self hypnosis is  used by celebrities, athletes, performers, business people, salespeople, and entrepreneurs. Why? Because they know that to achieve high level success in any endeavor, you must master your mind. You must take control of what you think, because you become what you think about.

 Learn Self Hypnosis for Success!

  Self Hypnosis for Success begins Saturday, June 14th from 9 am to 10:30 am at Pasadena City College and continues for the next two Saturdays (6/21 and 6/28). To register, click here.

Master your mind using self hypnosis to:

  • Have the correct mindset and attitude for success in business and personal life.
  • Get rid of procrastination that keeps you stuck and in a rut.
  • Feel less self-conscious and more relaxed and confident in social and professional situations.
  • Increase sales through higher confidence and less call resistance.
  • Get relief from stress, anxiety and fear.

Master your mind and put it to work for you! Click to register 

In Self Hypnosis for Success, you will learn:

  • How to put yourself into hypnosis.
  • How to use the power of  suggestion to re-program your subconscious mind.
  • How to put it all together to create a mind conditioned for success in just a few minutes a day.

If you are one of those people who know that the quest for self improvement is never ending, you’ll want to register for Self Hypnosis for Success by clicking here.

Hope to see you on June 14th,

Ted

Image by Skye Moorhead

Do You Have Scarcity Consciousness?

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scarcity consciousness

I’m researching  how to counteract “scarcity consciousness” and create a mindset for wealth and abundance. 

I’m interested in your relationship with money and how you feel and think about it. So I’ve put together a short 10 question survey. I wonder if you would take a few minutes to take the survey if you haven’t already. I will share the results with all. 

Here is the link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/J325X9Z. Thank you!

In Deepak Chopra’s book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, he tells a story about the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the guy that founded Transcendental Meditation as well as the guy the Beatles hung out with in India.

The Maharishi wanted to organize a massive pilgrimage and attract hundreds of thousands of people to the event.  However, the Maharishi was poor and didn’t have a lot of money. Nevertheless, he continued to plan for the event. One of his organizers, seeing the clear lack of financial resources, approached him. “Sir”, he said, “This is a noble effort, yet it is significant in size and cost. Where will the money come from?” The Maharishi replied “From wherever it is now.”

I don’t know too many people that have this kind of “abundance consciousness”. What seems much more common is “scarcity consciousness”: the feeling that there is not enough. What’s interesting is that this scarcity consciousness seems to have little to do with how much what we actually have.

Examining Scarcity Consciousness

Examining my own life, I’m able to identify some reasons for my own scarcity consciousness in the past. I wonder if any of you can relate.

There were 8 kids in my family, and until I was in the 6th grade my mom stayed at home while my dad worked at his own business. Dad spent a lot of time at work in order to support eight kids.

As a child, I could see that he was stressed out. It seemed to me that to own a business and try to make money was not a good thing, as it meant you would be stressed out and not be able to spend time with your kids.

I went to a Catholic grammar school and high school. In 12 years of my schooling, there was never any discussion of success, money, how to make it, what to do with it, or why we should even care. In fact, the message I received was quite the opposite:  money is the root of all evil, if you want money you are greedy, and it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.

I entered college with no real goals and certainly no desire to make a lot of money. After slumming my way through college and eventually dropping out, I had a succession of in-home sales jobs which left me struggling financially and  in debt.

I got a “real” job in a mall at a Things Remembered store, but got fired because I kept forgetting to turn on the revolving tower of key blanks. When I got into my car to drive home, my car wouldn’t start.

That night I found an ad in the employment section of the newspaper promising “High pay in a rock and roll atmosphere!”

To make a long story short, I took the job, (another in- home sales gig)  started making a lot of money, gave my beater car away and bought a used Pontiac  Fiero. After a few more months, I lent the Fiero to a friend, and started driving a Porsche. Then I found out that the owners of the company were con men. I quit the job, turned in the Porsche, got back the Fiero (payments were not kept up) and was struggling again. My girlfriend dumped me, I got evicted from my apartment, and my Fiero got repossessed.

At that point, (1987, 27 years old) I remember making five decisions which would reinforce whatever scarcity consciousness I had and impact my life for more than a decade:

  • To aspire to make a lot of money means you have to cheat people.
  • It’s better to be poor (maybe I’ll become a monk…)
  • I never want to own a business.
  • I never want to get married or have kids.
  • I never want to own a house.

In the years that followed, I struggled constantly with a lack of money, but I also did a lot of work on my own personal self development. Somehow, in spite of those experiences and decisions, from  2003 to 2009  I managed to start a business, get married, have kids and buy a house.  I figured I was done with scarcity consciousness.

But the effects of subconscious programming run deep, and exist at a level most of us are not aware of. I’ve become aware that I still have work to do to counteract the negative programming of my early years.

I can’t blame anyone or anything for whatever scarcity consciousness I’ve created for myself. So I’m currently reading, studying, doing affirmations, seminars, self reflection, self hypnosis and a lot of hard work to see if I can create a higher level of  “abundance consciousness”.

That’s my story. Next week I’ll share some of the resources I’ve been using.

Blessings and abundance to you!

To hear a podcast of this blog, go to my podcast TedinYourHead.com episode 66

Ted

Meditation: Is it for You?

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Meditation

Young children meditating in a Peruvian school.

“Meditation is a lifelong gift. It’s something you can call on at any time. I think it’s a great thing.” ~Paul McCartney

“At the end of the day, I can end up just totally wacky, because I’ve made mountains out of molehills. With meditation, I can keep them as molehills.“~Ringo Starr. If you are old enough, you know that Paul and Ringo hung out in India with Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the founder of Transcendental Meditation.

“I’m quite a neurotic thinker, quite an adrenalized person. But after meditation, I felt this beautiful serenity and selfless connection.” ~Russel Brand. He’s kinda wacky. He probably should be meditating or on meds.

“Meditation is all about the pursuit of nothingness. It’s like the ultimate rest. It’s better than the best sleep you’ve ever had. It’s a quieting of the mind. It sharpens everything, especially your appreciation of your surroundings. It keeps life fresh.”  ~Hugh Jackman. The Wolverine meditates?

“We all have within us a deep well of creativity, which we can access if we can settle down into those deep, calm places, those serene moments that Transcendental Meditation offers.” ~ That’s Dr.Oz, vice chair and professor of surgery at Columbia University in New York City where he performs more than 300 heart operations a year.

Meditation seems right for some well known celebrities. So it it right for you? 

There are many ways to define what meditation is. Most definitions agree that meditation (often referred to as mindfulness practice) is a practice used to bring the mind and body under greater self control for mental well being, relaxation and concentration,  building one’s energy or life force, or to foster qualities such as compassion, love and forgiveness.

Meditation has been practiced since antiquity mostly as a part of religious traditions and beliefs. There are meditation practices that involve sitting, standing, walking, moving (such as tai chi) and even dancing.

So why would you want to meditate? I can only give you my opinion as someone who has meditated in the past and who is trying to get back to it as a daily practice.

Most research has been done on the Transcendental Meditation technique with hundreds of studies published. So there are some proven health benefits of meditation: reduced cortisol (the stress hormone), lowered anxiety and depression, reduced insomnia, lower blood pressure and risk of stroke and heart attack, and increased learning ability and memory.

I think the best reason to meditate, in my opinion, is to get to know and be at peace with yourself. The Tibetan word for meditation is “gom” which means “to become familiar with one’s self”. I think that’s important because whatever we can become familiar with, we can become comfortable with.

We are uncomfortable with ourselves when we have thoughts and feelings that create stress, tension and unhappiness. Sometimes it seems that we are at war with ourselves as we deal with conflicting thoughts and feelings about who we are, what we do and the circumstances of our lives.

The reason our thoughts and feelings can create negativity within us is because we identify with our thoughts and feelings. We believe our thoughts and feelings and we become attached to them.

What meditation allows us to do is to observe our inner process and see it for what is is: our inner process, and not who we are. 

If you have ever had the experience of telling yourself “I don’t need to let that (person or circumstance) bother me any more” then you know what it feels like to detach from conditioned reactions.

Is meditation right for you? It is if

  • you desire more peace of mind
  • you desire more control over what you think
  • you desire a greater sense of self awareness
  • you desire a deeper sense of being present to the experience of your life.

I am not an expert in meditation nor am I a meditation teacher . But I would like to give you a very simple technique that can introduce you to the benefits of meditation. Meditation is a practice, and becomes more powerful if done daily.

  • Start with 5 minutes at a time when you can be still and quiet. Sit in a chair with your feet flat on the floor and your hands resting in on your thighs or lap. Do this at a time of day when you don’t feel rushed and won’t be disturbed.
  • Focus and become aware of your body:  how it feels, what the energy of your body is like, what’s going on inside your body. Just notice.
  • Take a few deep, slow breaths and close your eyes.
  • Now let your breathing happen by itself and just watch it. Put your attention on your breathing.
  • Thoughts will come up. Your mind will drift. You may have feelings.  That’s ok. Notice whatever comes up, let it go and go back to your breathing.
  • See if you can be aware of the constant parade of thoughts, images and feeling that flow through your mind. You will find yourself getting carried away by your thoughts. Just keep bringing your attention back to your breathing. Some people find it helpful to count breaths to 10 and then start again.
  • Don’t get attached to doing it right. The key is not to stop your thoughts or prevent the mind from doing what it does. You just want to observe.
  • Do this daily. Try to up it to ten or twenty minutes.

There is much information available about meditation including classes, books and online information. My friend Julia Hilton has an excellent book Basics of Meditation: The First Steps to Changing Your Mind and Your World.

To be able to sit quietly and comfortably with yourself and get familiar with your own mind is an invaluable gift that can be life changing. Consider giving it to yourself.

Ted

Quit Smoking: Tips, Tools and Tricks

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quit smoking

I read a funny quit smoking joke by Conan O’Brian: “The CDC says that it’s graphic anti-smoking TV ads have have helped over 200,00 people to quit. Not quit smoking, quit watching television.”

But if you are a smoker, and want to quit smoking, you know that quitting smoking is no joke. It can be very hard.

The dangers of smoking are well known. Since May is  National Health and Fitness Month, I’d like to provide some tips to help you quit smoking. If you don’t smoke but know someone that does, please forward this to them.  It might just save their life.

Some people are able to quit smoking on their own, but research show that the best way to quit is through evidence based smoking cessation technologies and programs. Seventy percent of smokers will attempt to quit smoking without using a program and 9o percent will relapse. (Institute of Medicine of the National Academies.)

Ready to quit smoking on your own? Here are some tips to increase your chances.

  • Have a plan. To quit smoking, you must be prepared. Pick a goal date when you will smoke your last cigarette and start your life as a non-smoker. Between two weeks and 30 days from today.
  • Get a physical. Be aware of any health problems that may exist. It’s better to know. Make sure it’s ok for you to exercise.
  • Get regular exercise. Get your health back.  Walking is a great way to start, riding a bike or doing exercise videos at home. Exercising will also help you deal with negative feelings that may arise in your first days of quitting.
  • Prepare to quit. If you smoke over a pack a day, give yourself two weeks to prepare your mind to quit smoking. If under a pack, give yourself a week. Adjust if necessary and based on your intuition and experience. During your preparing to quit period:
  • Write down all the reasons why it’s so important for you to quit smoking. The more emotional, the better. (“I don’t want my kids to watch me die of lung cancer” for example.) Write your reasons down on a few 3×5 cards and carry them with you. Put them up where you will see them. Read them several times a day.
  • Change your diet. Since nicotine acts as an appetite suppressant, you don’t want to gain a bunch of  weight after you quit smoking. (Very common after folks quit smoking.) Start to eat three healthy meals a day with healthy snacks in between. Increase protein and reduce refined carbs.
  • In your preparation period, start to scramble your smoking pattern. For instance, if you smoke in your left hand, start smoking in your right. If you like smoking on the front porch, change your smoking spot to some uncomfortable place like out by the trashcans. Stop buying cartons and buy one pack at a time, changing brands each time you buy a pack. Start cutting cigarettes in half.
  •  FIND REPLACEMENTS. In my opinion, this is the number one secret to successfully quit smoking. There are many reasons people smoke: to ease boredom, reduce stress, relax, as a reward, or simply because it’s a habit. Of course, there is the addiction component as well. Find things to replace  smoking with and have them ready on your quit day. Some examples:
    1. Find ways to stay busy to keep from being bored. At work instead of a smoke break, take a short walk.
    2. Keep your mouth busy using sunflower seeds in the shell, gum, sugar free suckers or hard candy, licorice, carrot sticks, celery sticks, pretzels, flavored toothpicks. Some people say that putting a Listerine slip in their mouth takes away the urge. Drinking milk works too.
    3. Keep your hands busy with a stress ball, or an object you can keep in your hand like a pen or small stone.
    4. Drink lots of water.
    5. Take a Vitamin B supplement to help with stress.
    6. Deep breaths.
    7. Use the nicotine patch,  gum or prescribed smoking cessation meds if you need to, they are much more effective when used in combination with the techniques I’m giving you here.
  • Use affirmations. Use positive self talk such as “I am free!” or “I can do this” or “I am in control” or I’m worth taking care of ” or “I am healthy, happy and free from addiction.” Make it a habit to say them several times a day.
  • ON YOUR QUIT SMOKING DAY: Tell everyone what you are doing to make yourself accountable. Pick your quit day carefully; a day when you have time to focus on your goal.
  •  After you quit smoking, avoid drugs like alcohol and marijuana which can decrease your motivation. I suggest giving them up at least for the first month of being a non smoker, longer if they are major triggers that make you want to smoke. If coffee makes you want to smoke, cut down or eliminate it for a while.
  •  Get lots of sleep. You body needs energy to heal.
  • Get your teeth cleaned. 
  • Get your car washed and detailed if you smoked in your car.
  • Avoid situations that will tempt you. Stay away from bars and parties where people will be smoking. Ask those close to you to refrain from smoking in front of you.
  • Give yourself a reward. Have a plan to get a massage after 30 days of smoke free. Or take a trip. Or buy something for yourself.
  • DON’T KID YOURSELF! Don’t even think for a second that you can have “just one” after you quit. Chances are you can’t. “Just one” can undo all of your hard work. Begin to see cigarettes for what they are: a deadly poison that you want to stay away from.

Hypnosis was found to be more than twice as effective as quitting “cold turkey,” and over
three times as effective as nicotine replacement therapy, according to a a study presented October 22, 2007 at the annual meeting of the American College of Chest Physicians.

I offer a four session “Freedom From Smoking Forever” ® program using hypnosis and hypnosis recordings for listening  at home.  Research shows that using hypnosis to quit smoking can be up to 66% effective when 4 or 5 sessions are used in a 6 to 12 month period.

Your health is the most precious thing you have. If you are ready to quit smoking and want more information about my smoking cessation program, you can request a free consultation by clicking here.

Ted A. Moreno
Certified Hypnotherapist

Exploring the Music of Your Life

/by
Music of your life

Sie klingen nicht das gleiche! (They do not sound the same!)

I just finished an online course exploring the 32 Beethoven piano sonatas. ( I was a music major in college.)

Before the course started, I purchased a collection of all the sonatas and started listening to them. I enjoyed them because I like classical piano music. But they all sounded the same to me. Each one was like the others.

The class started and I learned what a piano sonata is (a solo piano work in one or more movements). I learned why they are called sonatas (first movement is usually in sonata form).  I learned to identify movements in rondo, variation and scherzo forms.

Soon, I was able to distinguish the unique characteristics of each of the 32 sonatas. I began to recognize the repetition of certain musical patterns. I came to understand how Beethoven constructed his most important sonatas in ways that stretched the boundaries of  classical composition established by Haydn, his teacher,  and Mozart.

Before I took the Beethoven course, the sonatas would’ve made nice background music. Now, I can appreciate them for the genius that lies within them, the underlying structures so precisely crafted, and the musical themes that allow us to know Beethoven through the emotional content of his music.

This exploration of Beethoven’s music gave me distinctions. This is the basic pattern of learning. We attempt to understand something, and as we continue to explore, we begin to develop various distinctions, which allows us to see more clearly into a thing or situation.

If you are a chef, you have distinctions for cooking that most people don’t have, such as bard, parboil and zest. If you are a building contractor, you can look at a building and identify things that non contractors don’t see, like astrigal molding, blind stops and collar beams.

Exploring the music of your life is your own personal development.

Once you begin to explore the music of your life, that is, to make a study of your own process in an attempt to understand why your life “sounds” the way it does, then you can begin so see more deeply into how your life is constructed. More importantly,  you can identify aspects of your life that flow, and those that do not.

You might learn what triggers you to anger, what makes you sad, and what leaves you powerless. You can identify hidden fears that keep you stuck in patterns that are not pleasing or beneficial to you.

Now you have some distinctions about the music of your life. Amid the noise of our lives we can now hear what stops the flow and creates disharmony. Then, we can become attuned to the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that resonate with the right vibration that allows us to create our lives as masterpieces.

However, this involves a conscious choice to study the music of your life that you have created so far and to understand why it exists in the form that it does. We make this choice out of a desire to create lives of greater harmony,  fulfillment, or excitement. Most of us have the feeling that a radically different experience of life is possible, but we don’t have the distinctions necessary to get there.

Until we choose to create our lives on purpose, we are composers without paper, chefs without recipes and contractors without blueprints. We are at the mercy of what life delivers to us without knowing what do do with it, and we can end up dancing to a tune that doesn’t resonate with us. 

But once we take full responsibility for our life with the aim of exploring what is possible, we can ask “How can I bring together all the parts of the music of my life in a powerful way?” instead of “Why is everything out of tune?”

George Bernard Shaw said “Life is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.”

Are you creating yourself by purposefully composing the music of your life so that the parts fit together beautifully and harmoniously?

Or does the noise and din of your existence make you wish you were deaf? If so, then begin with an exploration of the music of your life. Start with one part that is not in harmony and seek to understand why that part is out of tune.

Devote a month to studying that part of your life, whether it’s your marriage, your job or your internal (mind) experience. Read books and talk to experts. Develop distinctions such as “When this happens, I always do this” or “Thinking about doing that shuts me down” or “I really don’t like this part of myself at all”. Be honest and non-judgmental. The goal is to begin to distinguish what is working and what is not.

The music of your life well lived is the highest art. As Ludwig said: ” Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets; art deserves that, for it and knowledge can raise man to the Divine.”

Ted