How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body – Episode 420

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How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body – Episode 420

In our western culture, intelligence, logic and reason are highly valued as the means to success and accomplishment. Consequently, we have become disconnected from our own bodies. Many of us have become unable to hear it’s wisdom and intelligence which show up as feelings in the body. Or, if we are aware of these feelings, we repress them to the point where they may become expressed as illness or dis-ease. Ted discusses the importance of a strong connection with our bodies and how to do that by “getting out of our heads.”

 

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Listen to this podcast episode now:

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

Overthinking everything? Can’t get out of your head?  Request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/.

 

How to Stay Out of (The Bad Kind) of Hypnosis – Episode 419

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How to Stay Out of (The Bad Kind) of Hypnosis – Episode 419

So many people are struggling right now with anxiety, lack of motivation, crises of confidence and a struggle to find a sense of mission or purpose.

There are a lot of reasons for this but Ted discusses the impact of reason events, including the pandemic, and how information overload and social media contribute to a kind of negative hypnosis. If you are feeling these things, remember this too shall pass and tune in to this episode of the Ted in Your Head podcast for helpful insights as to what’s going on out there.

 

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Listen to this podcast episode now:

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

Feeling overwhelmed and not centered or grounded?  Request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/

Finding the Path Back to Yourself, Episode 416

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In this episode, Ted suggests that the biggest problem most people suffer from is their own negative self-judgment, shame and self-condemnation.

Often a result of a combination of ridicule, criticism and neglect in childhood, we make decisions as children that there must be something wrong with us.

Ted talks about the path to healing: acknowledging our wounds and releasing negative beliefs about ourselves to create a more forgiving and compassionate relationship with ourselves. Don’t miss this powerful episode.

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

 

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

If you are trying to release shame and self-judgement, Ted can help.  To request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/

 

Ted in Your Head Interview Series: Kassandra Brown, Relationship Coach, Intimacy Mentor and Certified Cuddlist.– Episode 410

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In this next installment of the Ted in Your Head Interview Series, Ted interviews  Kassandra Brown, Relationship Coach and Cuddlist.  She brings an analytical, heart-centered, body-based approach to her work with both individuals and couples. What is a Cuddlist? Just what you think! Listen Ted’s fascinating and profound conversation with Kassandra and go here for her free gift to TIYH listeners:
Kassandrabrown.org/Ted

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

 

About Family – Episode 409

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We are all born into families. We try to make the effort to get along, to love and to honor our families, yet many of us would not choose our origin family members. However, we still yearn for the closeness, support and safety of a family. How should we approach family? How can we get our wants and needs met? What do we do if it’s obvious that we don’t fit into our family? Ted talks about family and the choices we make regarding them.

Listen to this podcast episode at the link below.
TedinYourHead.com

 

Self Cultivation – Episode 407

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What does it mean to cultivate oneself? Just like cultivating a garden, or a vineyard, it means to grow, to develop and to tap into potential.

The idea of self-cultivation goes back thousands of years. Voltaire said “We must cultivate our own garden.” Your garden is your mind, body and spirit. Listen to this episode for some ideas on what self-cultivation means for you.

Listen to this podcast episode at the link below.
TedinYourHead.com

Who Are You in Relation to Challenges? – Episode 405

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When you are facing a challenge, who are you? Scared? Doubtful? Angry? Or are you confident, self-assured or determined? You get to choose who you are going to be in the face of a challenge. It’s called a Can-Do Attitude. Also known as a Success Mindset. We need challenges to grow.

Listen to this podcast episode at the link below.
TedinYourHead.com

Liberation from You

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Liberation

Bob Marley (photo by Euli Frey)

Liberation. The word is inspiring and filled with history and meaning.

Look up the phrase “independence”  on Wikipedia and you’ll get a definition about countries, nations and states and self government.

Look up the word liberation, and you won’t get much. As a definition, three words, actually.

Why so much about freedom but so little about liberation?

I think it’s because when we’re in a prison cell, or in a dictatorship where we’re unable to travel freely,  we know it. Those things are obvious to see and easily trigger a desire to be free from them.

What is not so obvious is when we are a prisoner to our own mind.

Liberation: What we really want but don’t know it.

People can get comfortable living in a dictatorship. Prisoners can become accustomed to and even comfortable with prison life. “This is how it is. We just have to make the best of it” is how we might come to acceptance of these conditions. But we don’t deny the fact that we aren’t free.

Not so when it comes to our minds. We have the capability to live our whole lives imprisoned by our beliefs, thoughts and feelings, and believe the whole time that we aren’t. This is called delusion.

This is what we all truly desire: liberation from the things that keep us from happiness, health, and prosperity, including the inability to see them for what they are.  We seek liberation from unhappiness, unease, discontent, and discomfort. We want liberation from emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, regret, and fear. We want freedom from bad habits, patterns of thinking that don’t serve us, and lack of self worth and self esteem.

At our core, we all seek liberation from what holds us back from what we want. What is required is liberation from being blind to the fact that the biggest thing that holds us back is ourselves.

The problem is that we can get pretty chummy with those things that imprison us. We can become so comfortable and so accustomed to living in fear, anger and sadness that we come to accept it as how it is.  This way of being can become so pervasive that if given the key to our own liberation, we will give it back and say no thanks. Then, we will blame something or someone else for our inability to step through the door.

True liberation, true freedom, is being able to see what is true and act accordingly. The truth will set you free.

The truth is that most of us will never completely  escape the emotional landscape that surrounds our humanity. We will be subject to  grief and sadness, anger and resentment, guilt and regret, unease and discomfort.

Our liberation comes from seeing this truth with stark clarity and exercising our freedom to choose how to respond. To be liberated from ourselves is to see clearly that we don’t need to be slaves to our emotions,  desires, regrets, or habits. We can at least acknowledge that the chains that bind us to an unfulfilled life are illusory, and like wisps of smoke, can be blown away at any time.

But it’s not easy. Most people need some help. The best that most can hope for is to achieve liberation from the heaviest chains, and only you know what they are.

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.” 

~Bob Marley, Redemption Song

Ted

You can hear the podcast of this blog at TedMoreno.com, or Soundcloud, or iTunes.

 

Once Upon a Time, There was You, Making Up Stories…

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Making up stories

Do you have a habit of making up stories? We know some people who have a tendency to exaggerate the truth. We think we know what is real. But do we really?

Something that happened to me this morning:

  1. I was out for my morning walk when a police officer pulled up alongside of me in his car. He asked me my name and for my ID. He said that they had been looking for a missing person that had the potential of hurting themselves and that I fit the description. I gave him my ID, told him I wasn’t the one he was looking for and he drove away.

Now, let me tell you a story.

  1. I was taking a walk, minding my own business, when a police car passed me. I nodded to the officer. A few minutes later he came back because he had nothing better to do and decided to harass me. He demanded my ID, and made up some story about looking for a missing person. I know he just wanted to mess with me because I nodded to him and they don’t like when you do that.

What really happened?  Which is real? What is reality?

We can spend days talking about reality, so why don’t we just try to stay in touch with reality. We want to deal with what’s real don’t we? We don’t want to waste our time dealing with what’s not real. Yet, the truth is, we do that all the time.

I would suggest that that #1 is a description of what happened and that #2 is a story of what happened. See the difference?

Those who study quantum physics have concluded that there is no objective reality “out there.” That means, that for there to be reality, there must be you to describe it.  (Check out this video about the paradox of Schrodinger’s cat.)

So we could say that reality is what we perceive, or experience. However, is it possible for two people to perceive the exact same thing, but have a different reality of that thing? Absolutely.

The fact is that we each have our own individual reality. The reason that our personal reality can be so very different from someone else’s reality is not because of what we perceive, but because of what we make it mean. The meaning comes from us, making up stories. One of the defining characteristics of human beings is that we give meaning to just about everything by making up stories about it.

In my work as a hypnotherapist, I help people see that we are all making up stories about what what happens to us. Because we are always making up stories, we believe them, and we can become “hypnotized” by them.

Our reality consists of two parts:  There’s what happened, and then there’s us, making up stories about what happened. There is perception, and then there is interpretation.

In my case, there’s what happened, (a police officer stopped me and asked my some questions) and then there’s my story of what happened (a police officer harassed me). The problem is, it’s really easy to get the two confused. We believe that our story about what happened is what happened, and that becomes our reality. Then we make decisions based on a story that for the most part, is made up.

Meaning Making Machines Making Up Stories

The fact is, humans are meaning making machines. We are always  making up stories about what happens to us, we can’t help it. That’s what gives each life its unique flavor. What that flavor tastes like will depend on what kind of stories you are making up. “My business failed, that means I’m a failure” has a pretty bitter taste. On the other hand “Because my business failed  I learned something that will help me succeed next time” is a little more palatable, as well as being infinitely more useful.

Stuff “happens” all the time.  Most of the time, we can agree about what happened. Up to a point.

We can agree that the weather is hot. But we’re not going to stop there; we are always making up stories about the weather!  We have to make up a story about what happened, it’s our nature to do so. For example:

  • What happened: The temperature outside is hot.
  • Your story of what happened might be: I’m going to suffer today because I hate the heat. Or, if you are a kid, you might make up a different story: It’s hot so we get to swim in the pool!

Sometimes though, the stories we make up can be really lousy:

  • WH (What Happened): I asked mommy to buy me a pony and she didn’t.
  • SWH (Story of What Happened): Mommy didn’t love me.
  • or
  • WH: I don’t live in a mansion like the people on TV.
  • SWH: I’m a loser!

One of the biggest obstacles people have to personal happiness is that they are making up stories that are really crappy about what happened to them!

It’s very easy to believe that what happened and the story of what happened are the same thing, but they rarely are. And if we tell this story over and over repeatedly, we can “hypnotize” ourselves into believing that the story is what happened, and that our story is reality, when all it is us making up stories which may or may not be accurate.

If that’s not bad enough, we act as if our stories are real. In other words, we base our behavior on a made up story, sometimes with dire consequences.

For example:

  • WH: Mommy didn’t buy me a pony
  • SWH: Mommy didn’t love me.
  • Behavior based on your story: I resent my mother and we don’t talk. (I want to make it clear that this is just an example. Of the eight kids my mom had, I’m her favorite. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)
  • WH: I don’t live in a mansion like the people on TV.
  • SWH: I’m a loser!
  • Behavior based in your story: Since I’m a loser, I’ll break the law to get what I want.

One of the most important skills we can learn is to distinguish between what happened, and our story of what happened, because the stories that we make up will affect our lives, for better or worse.

The quality of our lives is not determined by what happens to us, but by the stories we tell about what happens to us. What we do in our lives will in a large part be determined by the meaning we attach to our life’s circumstances. If we can become aware of those stories and how they affect our lives, then we have a choice. We can begin making up stories that empower us, instead of making up stories the dis-empower us.  The meaning of our lives is made up by us, so it’s all invented anyway. We are the creators of our lives. The only question is, what do you want to create?

Much of my work with my hypnotherapy clients involves helping them identify stories they are telling themselves that are disempowering and downright scary. These stories rob a person of confidence, self esteem and aliveness, while perpetuating fear, doubt and unhappiness. The first question I ask of them is: “Ok, something happened to you, but what’s the story you’re making up about that, and what is that doing for you?”

I help people to stop making up stories that do nothing for them and I use hypnosis to help people’s minds become comfortable with making up stories that speak to their courage, strength, intelligence and ability to overcome challenges.  It doesn’t take that long to start telling a new story. It all depends on how invested you are in your old story.

 So the next time you feel anger, or fear, or doubt or sadness, ask yourself: What is the story I’m telling that makes me feel this way? You can choose to tell a different story, or you may want to keep that story for now, and that’s ok. It’s your story, after all. We all have one.

In conclusion, let me suggest that you don’t believe a word I’ve written. It’s just my story, and it works for me. I hope at least some of it works for you as well.

Ted

To here the podcast version of this blog, go to www.Tedmoreno.com/podcast or www.tedmoreno.com/soundcloud.

Stop It! 43 Things To Stop Doing NOW

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stop
  1. Stop saying “I hate _.” That makes you a hater.
  2. Stop acting like you’re the only one with problems.
  3. Stop complaining to people that can’t do anything about it. They don’t want to hear.
  4. Stop complaining if nothing can be done about it.
  5. Just stop complaining, already!
  6. Stop wishing that what is, isn’t and that what isn’t, is. Deal with what is real.
  7. Stop watching so much television.
  8. Stop calling yourself bad names. You are what you say you are.
  9. Stop comparing yourself and your situation to others. Compare and despair.
  10. Stop buying crap you don’t need.
  11. Stop equating your self worth with your net worth.
  12. Stop  caring what other people think about you. Most of the time, it’s none of your business.
  13. Stop trying to get more done in less time. Life is not about doing.
  14. Stop being so attached to who’s in what political office. Most of the time, it doesn’t matter.
  15. Stop acting and talking like your favorite celebrity or tv character.
  16. Stop caring about what happens to Kim, Lindsay, Justin, JayLo, or any other celebrity. You have more important things to worry about.
  17. Stop worrying so much.
  18. Stop believing everything you hear.
  19. Stop believing everything you read.
  20. Stop believing everything you see.

  21. Stop believing everything you think.

  22. Stop pretending you don’t care about that thing that you say you don’t care about. Because you do care.
  23. Stop wanting today to pass quicker than it is going to. That just makes it take longer.
  24. Stop believing that it’s either this or that, black or white, right or wrong. It all depends on who you are, where you are and what year it is.
  25. Stop eating so much junk.
  26. Stop being so mean to your beautiful body. Yes, you.
  27. Stop arguing for your limitations.
  28. Stop believing that there is nothing you can do about it. There is always something you can do about it.
  29. Stop believing that what always was will always be.
  30. Stop saying that you will try. Yoda said “Do or do not. There is no try.”
  31. Stop trying to change people. Change yourself instead.
  32. Stop believing that God is interested in punishing you. She told me last week that you’re good at doing that all by yourself.
  33. Stop thinking that you deserve to be punished.
  34. Stop shoulding all over yourself.
  35. Stop being so fearful. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
  36. Stop pretending that you have nothing to offer or contribute. If you’re still above ground, then you do.
  37. Stop being so afraid of other people. They are just you in a different body.
  38. Stop hanging out with people that want to keep you down. “It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you are running around with pigeons.” -Les Brown
  39. Stop holding back what you need to say. It’s bad for digestion.
  40. Stop holding on to your stuff so tightly. It’s making you constipated.
  41. Stop worrying about money. That’s why you don’t have more.
  42. Stop worrying that people will find out how smart, talented, gifted, funny, weird, nerdy, sentimental, warm and fuzzy and what a freak of nature you are. It takes all types, and it’s all good, my friend.
  43. Stop hiding your light under a basket. We need it now more than ever.

p.s. Don’t believe anything I’ve written here. 

Ted

Want to hear the podcast version of this? Go to www.tedmoreno.com/podcast