Personal Development Archives - Page 4 of 9

You, on The Hero’s Journey

September 23, 2015/by Ted Moreno

I like Star Wars. “The Empire Strikes Back” is my favorite movie. When I hear the word transformation, I think about Luke Skywalker, and unless you’ve been living in a cave since 1977, you know that he is the hero of the first three Star Wars movies.

Here’s a guy that goes from being a whiny, irresponsible young farm boy to becoming the powerful Jedi Knight that brings peace to the universe by bringing down the evil Galactic Empire. Only in the movies, right? Well, not quite.

The story of Luke Skywalker is a story as old as time. (as is the story of the Hobbit Frodo Baggins) It is known as the Hero’s Journey, and it is found in myths and legends from around the world. The roots of the hero’s journey go back to the ancient wisdom teachings from the earliest of civilizations.

George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, has acknowledged that he owes a debt to mythologist and author Joseph Campbell, whose theories about the hero’s journey have influenced numerous writers and artists.

Here’s a chart from Wikipedia under “The Hero’s Journey”:

In his book, “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” Joseph Campbell describes the hero’s journey. (Click here for a really cool video regarding the Hero’s Journey and “The Matrix”)

According to Wikipedia: “Campbell describes a number of stages or steps along this journey.”:

A call to adventure: The hero, in the ordinary world, receives a call to enter an unusual world of strange powers and events.
A road of trials: If the hero accepts the call, he must face tasks and trials.
Woman as temptress: The hero will be tempted and must survive a severe challenge. If the hero survives, the hero may gain a great gift, which often results in the discovery of important self-knowledge.
Return to the ordinary world: The hero must then decide whether to return with this gift , often facing challenges on the return journey.
Freedom to live: If the hero is successful in returning, the gift may be used to improve the world.

What’s interesting is that this chart looks very similar to another diagram that I am quite familiar with:

Coincidence? I think not. Any substantial change or transformation means stepping into the unknown and facing the enemy inside.

Let’s examine the hero’s journey from the perspective of Theory of Mind. The top part of both circles is the ordinary world, the realm of our conscious minds.

As we mature, we are called to adventure. This call is to take responsibility for our lives. This may involve going away for school, getting married, starting a career, or having children. This is a call most of us are willing to answer. Of course, there are challenges, sometimes major.

At this point there is a threshold to cross. We can choose to play it safe, sticking with the known and familiar, stuck in behaviors that don’t serve us, stopped by fear of the unknown. Or, we can choose the path of growth and transformation in an effort to create our lives.

We can choose to delve into the unknown, making a conscious choice to continue along the road of trials in search of a life that is meaningful and worth living, even if the path is unclear. We may realize that we cannot do it alone, and search for guidance in spirituality or religion, seeking out mentors, or being open to help from powers unseen.

In our journey to create a life, we encounter the road of trials: loss of innocence, loss of love, rejection, disappointment, failure, intense pain, illness. At this point we may be made aware of our own character defects that brought us to this rocky road. These defects can be bad habits or addictions, mental or physical laziness, or values that are lacking, not clearly defined or not adhered to.

Now we are in the abyss, the realm of the subconscious mind. We may have to fight demons that arise to keep us from moving ahead. We come face to face with our fears and doubts. Our primitive mind will kick in with fight or flight as a last ditch attempt to protect us from the unknown. We will want to turn back or quit altogether.

If we choose to continue on the path to transformation, a part of us must die. Campbell calls this “Atonement with the Father”. Luke Skywalker, in his battle with Darth Vader (“Dark Father” representing the evil part of himself) loses his hand and throws himself into the abyss, choosing death instead of surrender to the Dark Side. What dies in us is our identification with our ego, who we think we are, our limitations, our physical bodies. We become present to who we really are: infinite energy, light, spirit.

We can now enroll our subconscious minds as a helper, as we work to get comfortable with new ways of thinking, behaving, and relating to ourselves. Our true powers are revealed to us: trust, faith, intuition, courage. We have acquired the gifts of wisdom and foresight. We’ve developed clearly defined values that guide us and that are not negotiable.

We are now transformed, born again, and as such, we may seek to share our learning (the gift) to the world as we incorporate and synthesize our wisdom back into ordinary life.

The hero’s journey is humanity’s struggle to bring order out of chaos. Each of us walks the path of the hero’s journey, whether we realize it or not; in our daily lives, we seek transcendence over the mundane, the petty and the ordinary.

We are all continually called to action, to be great, bold, courageous. We will shy away from this call, yet it is unceasing. Transformation happens when we go boldly where we have not gone before, to quote a phrase, and trust that the universe conspires in our favor.

See yourself as the hero when you feel stuck, beaten, or paralyzed to move forward. You are fighting the same battle that each person fights, travelling the same journey as every human that ever lived. It is the struggle to become more than what we are.

Ted

Photo by David Johnston

www.dk9studio.com

The Mental Bank Program: Rewrite Your Mental Script

January 14, 2015/by Ted Moreno

So, has much changed since the New Year has started? If not, don’t be too bummed out. If you’ve been reading my blogs for any period of time, you know it’s all about your programming. If you want things to change, you need to change the programming.

So what if I told you that there is a system that takes five minutes a night that would program your mind for more money, more success and more happiness? Would you take five minutes a night and do it?

You might be saying “Sure, I’ll take five minutes a night to make more money, have more success and happiness!”

Well, the reality is, you’re wrong, you won’t. And even though you say you want to be more successful, prosperous, happy, that fact is… you don’t. Change can be the hardest thing in the world. Why?

Because of the most powerful force in human behavior which is….. homeostasis. The innate drive to stay the same.

We see homeostasis in our physical body; if we get to hot, we sweat to cool down. If we get too cold, we shiver to bring our temperature back to where we are comfortable.

Same thing happens in our mind. For most of us, if we are short of money, out of a job, car soon to be repossessed, we become very motivated. However, when things are going well, we have a tendency to relax. Now, consider this: if things are going too well, we may even sabotage our success. Why would we do such a thing?

Because our subconscious mind knows only two things: knowns and unknowns. What is known is familiar and comfortable, for example, the amount you have in your bank account. What is unknown is fearful to the subconscious, for example, a lottery winner of mega millions who very quickly finds himself back to where he started, wondering “Where did it all go?”

The subconscious mind makes up 88% of your mind. This is automatic behavior. This is your so called “life script.” And every day you wake up you see it: the car you drive, the house you live in, your bank account etc. This is the information that you receive every day that reinforces your comfort level, that is, your “knowns.”

What do we do about our innate drive to stay the same?

The Mental Bank Program

We must work to change incrementally a little every day by sending the subconscious mind different information to get a different result. Putting new information into our subconscious mind can create new “knowns” that are in line with our goals. However, we must introduce this new information in a way that the subconscious mind can understand and take in deeply so that your “ceiling” of success begins to change. The most powerful and simplest way to do this that I have found is through the Mental Bank Program.

The Mental Bank program was invented by Dr. John Kappas, the founder of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute (HMI), the nations first accredited college of hypnotherapy and where I received my training as a hypnotherapist.

You can go to www.MyMentalBank.com and watch George Kappas, director of HMI and son of Dr. John Kappas, present the Mental Bank Program via streaming video. If you are interested in moving yourself forward and beyond your current level of success, performance, wealth or happiness, then I highly recommend this two hour video.

Only a small percentage of people reading this will bother checking out the Mental Bank video, which is why there are so few that are really enjoying the level of success that they would like. I challenge you to take the time to check it out. It’s interesting and informative and George Kappas does a great job making it fun to watch. Let me know what you think about the Mental Bank, OK?

Have a great week,

Ted

Under Pressure: Why You Need It

January 7, 2015/by Ted Moreno

I once had a job once working for tech support for a software company. This software needed lots of support, which the company charged for. My job was to collect credit card info from people needing tech support, then pass them along to the tech support person that would help them.

What they really wanted me to do was to sell plans that allowed people to call in for a certain number of times. All new hires were hired on probation, meaning they could let you go during the probation period. I was told my job security depended on selling a lot of these tech support plans.

So I sold like a fiend. I sold a lot of plans and felt like I was super cool.

On my first review, the boss said I was doing ok, but if I wanted to keep my job, I would have to do better.

I became indignant because I don’t like being under pressure. I felt I was doing great and they didn’t appreciate all the money I was making for them. I decided that if I was going to leave the company, it was going to be on my terms, not on theirs.

Even though being under pressure to perform made me grouchy, I sold even more. I made a bunch of money and when the next review came, they hired me on permanently.

“Wow” I said, “I was afraid I was going to lose my job.”

The boss (who I thought was kind of a doofus) said “I knew you were a keeper when we brought you on.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that at my first review?” I asked.

“Well,” he said, “You seem like the kind of guy who is motivated by being under pressure, and I knew I could get more out of you.” Turns out he wasn’t such a doofus after all.

Why Be Under Pressure?

“The only reason gasoline is useful is because of the controlled pressure it exerts within an engine. Likewise the value of water is when it is steam and under pressure in a steam engine. Even electricity is useless unless there is pressure measured in volts. One could come up with numerous examples but the point is that focused pressure is required for successful work… the right kind of pressure at the right time and place and the job gets done.”

~Jed McKenna

They train Army pilots by strapping them into a simulator that resembles the cockpit of an airplane.They are strapped in like they would be in a crash. They have to find their breathing device (a small bottle of air) clear the mouthpiece, breath normally, figure which way is out, release their seat belts, move to and open the door or window, and exit. Talk about being under pressure. Panic and you’re dead.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself under pressure. That is the value of deadlines, target dates and benchmarks. Get comfortable with being under pressure. Apply it at the right time in the right way.

Rock is transformed into diamonds under extreme heat and pressure. Trees grow strongest under pressure of weather and wind. The sharpest blade is crafted under pressure of hammer and fire.

How mentally tough can you become under pressure? You probably don’t know. The question is, are you willing to find out?

Ted

Fear of Public Speaking: Worse than Death?

November 12, 2014/by Ted Moreno

I’ll help you get out of that speech…

It’s been said that fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death for some people.

I’m not sure how many people have the fear of public speaking so bad that they would rather die, but many people do consider speaking in front of a group on par with a root canal on the list of their favorite activities.

Nobody is born a good public speaker. As with all fears, fear of public speaking is learned, and what is learned can be unlearned. When someone says “I have a fear of public speaking because I’m not a good speaker” all they are really saying is “I haven’t developed the skills to be an effective speaker.” Becoming comfortable in front of a group is a skill you can learn.

You may someday be called upon to speak to a group, maybe at a wedding or funeral. In today’s business environment, you will almost certainly be required to give reports or presentations to colleagues or clients. If so, consider learning to speak in public as necessary part of your personal and professional development.

If you are someone who gets the fight or flight response (sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, inability to think clearly) when asked to speak to a group, the good news is that you can learn to overcome the fear response and speak comfortably. It doesn’t have to be stressful. Many people who once suffered from fear of public speaking have gone on to become very good speakers. Here are some other things to remember:

You don’t have to be a master orator in order to be effective. You just need to be yourself. Don’t try to be or think of yourself as a “public speaker”.
The audience is on your side, wanting you to succeed.
The chances of you loudly passing gas, fainting, throwing up, totally forgetting what you were going to say or the audience throwing stuff at you rarely happens and if it does, you can probably make a joke out of it.
You don’t need to memorize a lot of information or even impart a lot of information. That’s what notes and handouts are for.
It’s ok to feel a little nervous, that’s natural.

Of course, there are different levels of fear of public speaking. On one end of the spectrum, you might be challenged by social anxiety disorder to the point where even talking to someone one on one is a problem. On the other end, you may feel fear or nervousness that makes the prospect of public speaking just another stressful thing in your life. Either way, if you want some help, click here to contact me.

Tips for dealing with fear of public speaking

Practice but don’t over- prepare. Have an outline for what you are going to say. Put your notes on 3×5 index cards that are numbered in order. Practice saying the words out loud. Practice in front of someone you trust that can give you some feedback is one of the best ways to deal with fear of public speaking. Record yourself to see what vocal tics you might want to work with. Practice in front of a mirror.

Don’t be boring. The worst sin you can commit as a speaker is making people wish they were somewhere else. Although there are many situations where one may need to speak, try to craft your message to your audience so that what you tell them has some impact on them.
Humor is good. People want to laugh, and when they do, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable. Just use common sense to avoid offending your audience.
Humility is good. Don’t try to come across as an expert if you aren’t. Even if you are, remember, people don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care.
Make sure you eat something. Diet and your level of anxiety are intimately related. Don’t go in front of a group on an empty stomach or over-caffeinated.
Monitor the conversation in your head so that it supports you. It doesn’t help to say things like “I just know I’m going to screw this up.” or “I have so much fear of public speaking!”. Be realistic in your expectations and show this in your language to yourself. “I can do this, it’s only ten minutes.” or “This is a great opportunity to show my stuff.”
Do a little mental preparation before you speak. Psyche yourself up, see yourself doing great, give yourself some positive suggestions.
Use EFT to release anxiety.

I help people let go of the anxiety and fear of public speaking that keeps them from getting ahead. If you want to excel as a public speaker, there’s a lot of instructional material out there including books, DVDs and audio programs. Toastmasters is the most well known and respected venue for people to hone their skills, and I highly recommend that you check out your local chapter. Check out Barbara Rocha’s programs as well. If you have a fear of public speaking, you CAN learn to be comfortable whenever you’re called upon to “show your stuff.”

Ted

If you want to hear a podcast of this blog with a funny story, go to tedmoreno.com/podcast, episode 32.

Click Here For a Free Guide to Relieve Anxiety

Being Grateful for the Things that Went Wrong

November 6, 2014/by Ted Moreno

As we approach Thanksgiving, much will be written this week about gratitude, how to give thanks, counting blessings, how not to stuff yourself like a tick, etc.

I’d like to suggest being grateful for things in your life that went wrong. Things that didn’t go according to plan.

Now before I go any further let me say that, sometimes when stuff goes wrong, some really bad things can happen. It would be hard to be grateful for losing someone you love in a sudden terrible accident.

Still, many people that I speak with who have lost a loved one, often say that it was a wake up call for them; they realized that they were not being grateful by taking their lives for granted and resolved to live with more passion and love.

Recently, I was watching 127 Hours, the movie about Aron Ralston, the guy who survived a hiking accident by amputating his arm which was stuck under a boulder. Seems being grateful that would be really hard to do. Still, he gave a speech (he’s paid up to $37,ooo for speeches) “about how he did not lose a hand, but gained his life back.”

I had really bad back problems as a young man. Somedays I couldn’t get out of bed. But it got me into a habit of daily stretching that continues to this day that has kept me lean and mean (at least I think so). I’ve also been challenged by severe eye problems that necessitated shots in my eyeball. I asked the doctors “What can I do to keep this from happening again?” They said “Walk everyday.” Being grateful for those problems is easy because I walk daily and I love it. Better than a sharp stick in the eye.

Now when something goes wrong in my life, it’s a bit easier to ask myself “What is the lesson here? How can I grow from this?” Being grateful for the tough times is a little easier while they are happening even though the thanks sometimes comes grudgingly.

Can you look back and feel gratitude for:

The pain you’ve felt?
The disappointments you experienced?
The sadness you felt?
The loss you felt?
That time you got fired?
That time you got sick?
The times you got taken advantage of?
The time(s) you got dumped?
The time you were broke?
The time you lost your job?
The time someone told you the cold hard truth to your face?
The time you lost?
The time you failed?
That special once in a lifetime love who got away?

You might be thinking “How can I possibly be grateful for ____?”

Well, did you learn something? Did you become stronger? More compassionate? Wiser? More honest? More loving?

Did you find some tough stuff within that you didn’t know you had that still serves you to this day? Were you able to draw out some courage or cleverness that allowed you to get to the other side?

Were you humbled? Did you get closer to God or your fellow man or woman? Was all the superficial, artificial, surface glitter and glam stripped away to reveal the real rock hard diamond deep down inside?

If so, then you’ve got something to be grateful for, my friend. Doesn’t mean you liked it, or want to go through it again, it could just mean that you can say “It happened, I got through it, and I got something of value from it.”

If there is anything in you that is good, strong, right, and true, anything powerful and bold, any small measure of grit and bad- assedness, I’m not sure you would have it without those experiences.

It’s called a re-frame. You pull that dusty old stuff out of the basement, that junk that has been sucking your self esteem and self worth out of you, and you polish it off, hang it up and display it like a badge of honor, even if you’re the only one who sees it. You say to yourself “Yeah, I was flat on my back, I was down and out, I was crushed, hanging by a thread, written off, forgotten, humiliated, burned out and close to dead but dammit, I did not die! I am here to tell the tale! Yes it was tough but I was tougher!

That’s what I’m talking about. Being grateful for every little bit of it. It means you’re alive.

Ted

31 Scary Questions to Ask Yourself

October 30, 2014/by Ted Moreno

It’s all about scary this week as we approach Halloween and Day of the Dead.

It’s a time when it’s fun to be scared, as long as we know that it’s just a movie, or someone dressed up as the walking dead.

Truth is, there are plenty of really scary things out there. But by far, the scariest things are those that we hide from ourselves, the things that we are afraid to deal with.

Unresolved issues that haunt us, pain we can’t seem to release, resentment that traps us in unhappiness. These are the monsters under the bed, the goblins that we spend so much energy keeping locked in the closet, for fear of what they might do if looked at them.

Of course, once we turn on the bedroom light, look under the bed and throw the closet door open, we find that there is nothing to fear.

Shining the light of our awareness on those things that we don’t want to deal with allows us to see them clearly.Then we can take the opportunity to clean them up or straighten things out.

Asking yourself a few scary questions can help you transform an unseen ghoul into Casper the Friendly Ghost. (Who really just wants to lend a helping hand.)

Ask yourself these 31 scary questions and see if any of them make you a little freaky. If so, perhaps you are starting to exorcise some demons! Keep asking yourself those questions and see what comes up.

31 Scary Questions to ask yourself.

Am I happy?
If I’m not, am I waiting for something to happen to be happy?
Is it possible for me to decide to be happy now?
Do I know what I want?
Have I given up on getting the things I want that are truly important to me?
What fear keeps me from living the life I want?
Have I become cynical, negative, or resigned?
Do I like myself?
Am I able to quickly name 10 great things about me?
Am I taking care of myself?
If no, do I feel I’m worth taking care of myself?
Am I getting the love and attention I want and need?
Do I have fun regularly?
Do I have fulfilling social interactions?
Am I expressing myself honestly and authentically?
Is there someone I need to forgive?
Is there resentment burning inside of me that I need to resolve or express in a healthy, productive manner?
Is there a negative belief that I need to release or let go of?
Is there a change I need and should make NOW?
Why am I here?
Is there a valid reason for the things that I am doing that are stressful and overwhelming?
Am I giving me the me time I need?
Do I have regular moments of peace, calm and tranquility?
Do I have frequent feelings of gratitude?
Do I complain a lot?
Do I hang around negative people that bring me down?
Is my work meaningful and fulfilling?
Do I compare myself to others and find it creates despair?
Am I caught up in a lifestyle that I feel is not meaningful to me?
Am I happy with the answers I have to these questions?
If not, what can I do today to change?

Perhaps a few of these scary questions brought up some stuff. You might not be able to answer some of these scary questions in the way you feel you should or would like to.

If so, copy those scary questions and paste them into a word or notepad etc. document. Delete all the questions that don’t have an emotional charge for you. Keep deleting until you have about 5 or 10 of the biggest, baddest scary questions that are giving you the heebie jeebies.

Now keep these questions where you will see them. Maybe write them down on a 3×5 card and carry them around with you. Keep asking yourself these scary questions with awareness so that you can move beyond fear, negative self- judgement and shame and into the possibility of changing the answers.

For instance, to the question: “Do I like myself?” you might answer “No! I don’t! And it really sucks! I hate that I don’t like myself!

See if you can move into non-judgement: “OK, I don’t like myself. I’m probably not the only one. I’m not a terrible person because I don’t like myself. But I want to like myself. So what can I do to begin to like myself?”

See how many of those scary questions you can bury by committing to some action. Bless and release old ways of being that no longer serve you and that are ready to be laid to rest. Then continue on your journey, a little more confident, on your way to an attitude of gratitude.

Need some help on your journey? You can contact me by clicking here.

Ted

How To Put Yourself Into A Hypnotic Trance

September 3, 2014/by Ted Moreno

Well for starters, you can register for Self Hypnosis for Success and take control of what goes into your mind! The class begins January 24th from 9 am to 10:30 am at Pasadena City College in Pasadena, CA. Click here to register.

Or, you can go into hypnotic trance by being overwhelmed. Too much noise, too much activity, too much to do, too much going on. If it becomes to much to deal with, your mind will seek to escape by going into what we call a hyper-suggestible or trance state, aka hypnotic trance. Think “running around like a chicken without a head.”

Hypnosis is a natural state we all experience. We’re in hypnosis half an hour before we go to bed and half an hour before we wake up. Perhaps you know people that walk around all day in a hypnotic trance? Perhaps you?

Watching the news on television can put you into a hypnotic trance under uncontrolled conditions. You go into a hypnotic trance by sitting still, fixing your gaze on the talking heads, and having a passive mental attitude. Television news is designed to provoke emotions. Most of the time these emotions are fear, sadness or anger. You may have an inner commentary about these emotions such as “That’s terrible!” “Oh my God, how sad.” “I hate those (liberals, conservatives, politicians, etc)!” Think about how this affects your mental state and how you view the world.

Learn to Put Yourself into a Hypnotic Trance

Do you really want to learn how to put yourself into a hypnotic trance? Register for my Self Hypnosis for Success class starting on September 20 at 9 am at Pasadena City College. The class continues on the 27th and October 4th from 9 to 10:30. To register, click here.

Use the power of self hypnosis to:

Have the mindset and attitude for success in business and personal life.
Get rid of procrastination that keeps you stuck and in a rut.
Feel less self-conscious and more relaxed and confident in social and professional situations.
Increase sales through higher confidence and less call resistance.
Get relief from stress, anxiety and fear.

Learning self hypnosis is the most powerful way of using the hypnotic trance for your benefit. Register for Self Hypnosis for Success and take control of what goes into your mind! The class begins January 24th from 9 am to 10:30 am at Pasadena City College in Pasadena, CA. Click here to register.

Hope to see you there,

Ted

Are You Ready for Change?

August 27, 2014/by Ted Moreno

Are you ready for change? You’d better be. Because it’s coming like a locomotive and if you’re not ready, you’ll get run over.

I remember when we went from rotary dial to push button, then to cordless. I got my first cell phone in 2005.

I remember using lps, (long playing records) to 8 track, to cassette, to CD, to iPod.

Those changes were easy, and fun.

Other changes were not so easy. The transition from college to work.

I didn’t learn to use a computer until 1998. That was hard. I’m still learning.

Getting married was great but having kids required a period of adjustment, from only being responsible to myself to being responsible for the care of another human. I thought I was ready for change but I wasn’t so ready.

I pushed back when I was informed that it was time for my baby daughter to start eating solid food. I had just gotten the baby food thing down. I wasn’t ready for change.

Letting go of the naive idea that all I had to do was print business cards and my phone would start ringing. Not. I had to learn to market my practice. (“Turn and face the strain” D. Bowie)

Every time I thought I had it figured out, something changed, and most of the time, I wasn’t ready for the change.

The pace of change in our lives accelerates exponentially. I read recently that there has been more change in the last 30 years than in the last 300.

We as 21st century humans must assimilate change and new information more rapidly than at any other time in history. To achieve our goals such as happiness, fulfillment, or prosperity, we must be willing to let go of the old and move into the new and unknown. That is my business, the business of change.

Are you ready for change?

Change will come knocking… wait, back up. Change will crash through your door and come rolling in whether you are ready for change or not.

Birth and death, growth and decay, marriage and divorce, buying and selling, falling in love and falling out, getting hired, getting fired, getting on board and jumping off, sometimes you make the choice and sometimes it’s made for you.

How do you get ready for change? You get ready to let go. You realize that all things are in transition and that all things must pass. It’s not easy and most don’t navigate change easily.

When should you get ready for change? You probably won’t until you realize that you are not ready and that the train is about to clobber you. That’s when it become apparent that it’s time to leave your car stuck on the track and run like hell.

Can we be ready for change? Probably not most of the time. But when it’s time to change, time to let go of what’s been, we can be ready with the belief that we can do it with grace, trust and confidence.

Ted

Having trouble dealing with change? Click here to contact Ted.

The Right Question Is Better Than the Answer

July 16, 2014/by Ted Moreno

“Judge a man by his questions, rather than his answers.”

~Voltaire

Sometimes the right question is more important than the answer.

When we ask a question, especially to ourselves, we expect an answer. We all want answers. But sometimes, asking the right question is more important than getting an answer.

Questions often contain beliefs. So when we ask a question that has a belief hidden in it, we will get an answer that is confined by that belief. So you want to ask the right question to get an answer filled with possibility.

For example, say you make a mistake, then ask the question “What’s wrong with me?” The question contains the belief that there is something wrong with you. You might not think there is, but ask that question enough times and your subconscious mind starts accepting that belief. Here are answers you are likely to get:

Because you’re an idiot
Because you always screw it up
Because you are a loser

There is no access to possibility in these answers.

Another example: “Why is this bad thing happening to me?”

The question assumes the belief that something bad is happening to you. It suggests that you are a victim to circumstance.

Possible answers based on that belief:

You deserve to be punished
You are unlucky
God hates you

Do you see how these two questions are not good questions to ask, even lightly?

After all, what’s wrong with you might be what causes you to make the mistake that wakes you up and transforms your life.

And that negative thing that happened to you? Maybe it happened for your own good and what you learned saves your life someday. What if, on some level, you drew that experience to you? We have to consider that possibility, don’t we? That what is happening to you is just you?

But you’ll never even get close to what is possible for you if you don’t ask the right question.

Instead of “Why is this happening to me”, the right question might be: “What is the reason I brought this experience to me?” That questions contains the hidden belief that you created that experience for a reason, perhaps for learning and wisdom.

Now, it may not be “true” that you created your experience for learning and wisdom. But it seems like a helluva better question for creating the possibility of learning and wisdom.

The right question might also be:

What can I learn from this experience? or
What is being shown to me from this experience? or
Why am I having this reaction to this experience?

Instead of “What’s wrong with me?, the right question might be:

How can I avoid this mistake in the future? or
What can I learn from this mistake? or
What’s right with me right now in the face of this mistake?

The right question can always be asked in a number of different ways.

The right question can be so powerful it doesn’t need an answer.

Sometimes, just asking the right question opens the mind and makes it available to receive information, although perhaps not specific answers.

For instance, take the big 3 questions of existence:

Who am I? (creates the possibility for self knowledge and self awareness)
Why am I here? (assumes the belief that I have a purpose for being here.)
Where am I going? (assumes that belief that I have a destination after death)

These are powerful questions. You can spend the rest of your life pondering these questions and never get an answer. (Most folks don’t bother.) However, if you are diligent in asking these questions with clear intent, it’s possible that you will come to see things that most people don’t see. Some of the mysteries of the universe might be revealed to you. How could they not?

I don’t want to get too philosophical, I’m simply suggesting that language is powerful and that asking the right question will determine the quality of what you receive.

Instead of “What’s wrong with people?” ask “What is it about us humans that produces that behavior?
Instead of “Why can’t I get it right?” ask “How can I get the result I want?”
Instead of “Why can’t I be successful?” ask “What are the actions I need to take to be successful?”
Instead of “Why does this always happen?” ask “How can I keep this pattern from occurring so often?”

To make this a powerful consciousness-raising exercise (assuming you are interested in such a thing) get in the habit of asking the right question. Whenever you ask a question, ANY question, step back and ask yourself “Is this the right question to ask?” If asking the question opens the door to possibility, you know that you have asked the right question.

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com episode 59

Ted

Personal Power: How to Increase Your Ability to Affect the Universe

July 2, 2014/by Ted Moreno

[leadplayer_vid id=”53B493A04EE3B”]

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself, Therefore all progress is made by the unreasonable man.” ~George Bernard Shaw

Personal Power is your ability to take action. It is the use of your life force to affect the universe in a way that suits you.

We are not born with much personal power, yet, we attempt to assert it as soon as possible. We cry, we grasp, we refuse, in an attempt to meet our needs. As soon as we are able, we touch what we want, take what we want, put it in our mouth, bang it on a table, and throw it away when we lose interest.

Our personal power is dependent on our belief systems.

Our ability to use our personal power to get our needs met is soon limited by our socialization. We are taught from an early age what we cannot and are not allowed to do.

Eventually, we see ourselves at the effect of the universe, instead of the other way around. We blame circumstances outside of ourselves for our inability to get what we want. Soon, we come to believe that to exercise our personal power, we must be reasonable and act according to established rules about “how things work.” We accept these rules as facts, but for the most part, they are beliefs.

At a seminar I was attending, the seminar leader held up a 20 dollar bill. “Who wants this 20 dollars?” she asked. Everyone raised their hands. “Who wants it?” she asked again. Some people started answering “Me! Me! I do!” She continued to hold up the 20 dollar bill. “Who really wants this 20 dollar bill?”

I stood up and grabbed the 20 dollar bill out of her hand and immediately felt like I had done something wrong. In my belief system, grabbing something out of someone’s hand in public is not acceptable. Turns out she was waiting for someone to come and take it.

Our personal power is depleted by our emotions.

Often when we act on an intention, we’ll encounter resistance or obstacles. These trigger emotions of frustration, anger or futility, which rob us of our personal power and keep us from attempting in the future. We have thoughts that “This shouldn’t be happening” or “It should not be hard”. We then end up in the weakened position of not being able to accept what is right in front of us, robbing us of the opportunity to learn and increase our personal power.

Our personal power is depleted by other people’s energy.

Other people’s opinions, comments, approval or lack there of can drain us of our personal power if we let them. Negative ways of being that other people exhibit regularly can suck our personal power like vampires. Even more inhibiting can be “no-possibility” cultures existing at work or in the family.

Ten ways to increase your personal power.

Adopt the belief that you can affect the universe. Why not?
Cultivate the habit of taking an action immediately when the need hits you. This might be writing something down, making a call, sending an email or making a plan.
Declare yourself blocked and immune to other people’s negativity.
Decide to do something boldly audacious or unreasonable. Tell everyone you intend to do it “As God is my witness’ or “Come hell or high water.” In spite of their opinions and/or nay-saying, deliver.
Start doing something worthwhile every single day that you are not doing already. Resolve to do it daily until the day you die.
Practice saying no to petty distractions or obligations that promise to derail you.
Practice asking repeatedly until you get what you want at the risk of being annoying.
Decide on something you want that will be not worth the inconvenience to get it. Be willing to inconvenience yourself just to get it.
If you find yourself unable to exercise your personal power because of some “rule” or “fact” tell yourself: “What if this is just a belief? How do I know it’s true?” (Note: all facts are beliefs and no belief is true.)
Take an action that will require great effort and accomplish it without emotion. Refuse to get emotional about any of it until you accomplish it. Then celebrate.

“Everything we do, everything we are, rests on our personal power. If we have enough of it, one word is enough to change the course of our lives. If we don’t, the most magnificent piece of wisdom can be revealed to us and that revelation won’t make a damn bit of difference.”

~Don Juan, from Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda

To listen to a podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com Episode 60