Ted in Your Head Interview: Katt Lowe, Reiki Master and Hypnotherapist- Episode 452

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In this fascinating episode, Ted interviews Katt Lowe, Reiki Master and Teacher, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. Ted and Katt discuss Reiki, an energy healing practice that seeks to promote wellness by creating balance in a person’s life force or energy field. Katt discusses how she was led to Reiki, how Reiki works, how she combines Reiki with hypnotherapy, and shares positive outcomes she has created for herself and her clients, both in person and remotely. If you have heard about Reiki, and are curious to know more about it, take a listen to this very interesting episode which describes one very popular form of energy healing.

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

 

In this fascinating episode, Ted interviews Katt Lowe, Reiki Master and Teacher, and Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. Ted and Katt discuss Reiki, an energy healing practice that seeks to promote wellness by creating balance in a person’s life force or energy field. Katt discusses how she was led to Reiki, how Reiki works, how she combines Reiki with hypnotherapy, and shares positive outcomes she has created for herself and her clients, both in person and remotely. If you have heard about Reiki, and are curious to know more about it, take a listen to this very interesting episode which describes one very popular form of energy healing.

 

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

Information about Katt Lowe can be found at https://KattLowe.com. You can find out more about her classes and services.

If you want to request a complimentary consultation with Ted to see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching are right for you, you can do that by going to http://TedMoreno.com/contact

We are Masters of Self Deception – Episode 451

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We are Masters of Self Deception – Episode 451

“To thine own self be true.” We’ve probably heard these words from Shakespeare before. Yet, all of us lie to ourselves, avoid reality, rationalize, make excuses and blame others because we are unable or unwilling to see what is right in front of us. We are masters of self-deception and the consequences of our deception can range from simply kidding ourselves about small matters, all the way to up to feeling exhausted and anxious from the energy it takes to lie to ourselves and others. In this episode, Ted examines how and why we deceive ourselves and how difficult it is to know that we are. Chances are you are BS-ing yourself about something, so take some time to check out this episode.

Listen to this podcast episode now:

Sometime in the 90’s while I was living in Tucson, AZ, I decided to become an independent life insurance agent. Someone had shown me an opportunity to make money and get residuals and all that good stuff, and since I had no clue what to do with my life at that point, I signed up.

I went through the training and started going to the sales meetings. Though in my opinion, the guy that had signed me up with this company was a bit of a knucklehead, he seemed to be making money. So I actually took the insurance test and got my license.

This was an in- home deal where you go to people’s houses and check out their insurance policies and try to sell them a new policy. However, even months after I got my license, I had yet to make an appointment to see someone to sell insurance. I just never got around to actually calling someone and going to their house.

I would go to the team meetings and the other agents would ask me “So, Ted, when are you going to get your first deal?” “Soon” I assured them. I told the team leaders not to give up on me, but I never made a single appointment to see someone to try to sell them life insurance. I started to feel like a real loser.

One day, I said to myself “Self, this is not going to happen. The truth is I have no intention of ever selling life insurance.” I said adios after wasting a lot of time beating myself up. I was fooling myself and I had to stop my self-deception.

Richard Feynman, the American physicist said: “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Have you ever

· Been in a relationship that you knew would not last but tried to convince yourself it would?

· Been in a job you knew was not right for you but kept hoping it would get better even though you knew it wouldn’t?

· Kept putting off taking action while hoping a situation would resolve itself until it got so messy you that you were forced to do something?

If so, you know what self-deception feels like. We all deceive ourselves if we’re honest. But that’s the problem isn’t it? We are not always honest with ourselves. We’ll do it consciously or subconsciously; it can be a consistent pattern of behavior or what we do when our back is against the wall.

Self-deception can be helpful; we can use self-deception to protect ourselves, or to enhance our belief that we can accomplish something.

However, self-deception can be the root of self-sabotage and a way to avoid responsibility for our lives and what happens in them. Why are we such masters of self-deception? Why is it so easy to fool ourselves? It’s because we have a tendency to believe what we think. We believe what we tell ourselves. But there is often a vast difference between what we think and what we know to be true.

Deep down inside, I knew I was kidding myself about being an insurance agent. If I had stopped and asked myself “What am I doing?”, I would have been able to see my self-deception: that I was just going through the motions with no intention to see it through. I could’ve saved myself a lot of time and money if I had done that earlier. Why didn’t I?

I didn’t want to disappoint the organization that I was working with. I wanted to believe that I could do something and be good at it. I wanted to be somebody.

However, the area of my life where self-deception was rampant was in my romantic relationships. Ove and over, I knew I was wasting my time with a particular partner, or I knew they were wasting there time with me. Yet, I convinced myself that there was a future for us, so I pretended that there was, yet I knew it wasn’t going to last. But I wanted it to last. I needed it to last.

So how do we figure out that we are involved in self-deception?

We don’t figure it out. Because it’s your mind that wants to deceive you in the first place. Bob Dylan said “You cannot depend on it to be your guide, when it’s you that must keep it satisfied.” We can’t count on the thing that’s deceiving us to reveal our own self-deception. It’s like seeing your own eye. We are often unaware that we are deceiving ourselves.

We’ll use logic to justify our actions despite what we feel. This way we can ignore the voice inside that is asking us “What the hell are you doing?”

We will rationalize, make excuses, blame others or get angry or defensive with others when they call us out. According to Wikipedia, self-deception is

“ A process of denying or rationalizing away the relevance, significance, or importance of opposing evidence and logical argument.”

We can identify self-deception by the way it makes us feel. If we give ourselves the opportunity, we will feel our own self-deception. Chances are that others around us are feeling it as well.

Feelings come and go. But when they come and refuse to leave, then it’s time to pay attention.

Here is a good rule of thumb: if you are caught up in self-deception, you will experience struggle and conflict. You might be getting sick a lot, feeling tired and ill at ease. The bigger the self-deception, the bigger the lie you are telling yourself, the crappier you will feel. Anxiety, discomfort, and guilt, can result from being inauthentic with ourselves, and don’t underestimate the negative impact our inauthenticity will have on our lives and our health.

Self-deception can leave us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and numb. As we get better at lying to ourselves, we get better at lying to others. Our relationships can suffer, our job performance declines, we can lose clarity and eventually lose touch with ourselves and with what is important, meaningful and valuable. Imposter syndrome is a consequence of self-deception. To attempt to avoid these feelings we might turn to numbing or medicating behaviors such as drugs and alcohol.

If you are true to yourself, stuff just seems to flow. There may be challenges, but we can meet them with grace and ease.

Are you getting the feeling that self-deception has you blind, fumbling and stuck? Here’s how you can shed light on that dark corner.

· Ask someone. This takes a rare kind of courage. You walk up to someone that knows you well and you ask them “I get the feeling that I’m fooling myself about this situation. What do you think?” If there is self-deception that has been festering and is getting stinky to others around you, they won’t hesitate to gleefully point it out to you and possibly smack you side of the head.

· Write in a journal. Sit down with a pen and paper and ask: “Please tell me what I need to know.” Then just start writing. Anything. Sometimes what shows up is kind of like a smack on the side of the head. Use this as a tool of self-reflection and to build self-awareness.

· Ask your subconscious mind before you go to sleep. Just ask a question like “Give me clarity to see what is true” or “Allow me to know if there is self-deception here.” Sometimes you’ll get a dream, sometimes you’ll know upon waking, sometimes it will come to you out of nowhere like a smack in the head.

· Go take a walk. Again, ask for clarity with a sense of calm relaxation. Go walking or riding a bike without trying to think or figure things out. I did this once while thinking about a business associate who I was trying to convince myself I could trust. Suddenly, bits and pieces of information came together for me that made it

clear to me that I could not. I was so astounded that I had not seen this before that I walked into a street sign. It was very much like a smack in the head.

· Work on your own self-confidence, self esteem and self-acceptance. Cultivate the courage to be honest with yourself and to see things you would rather not see or think about.

· Look at those areas of your life that are ruled by fear. Look at when you want to blame. Be very aware of when you avoid what you know you need to address.

· Go see a professional like myself to help you figure it you. I promise I will not smack you in the head.

It doesn’t take much to see the truth. The first step is to acknowledge that we all lie to ourselves and that we are really good at it.

Here are a couple of really good quotes:

“We do not deal much in fact when we are contemplating ourselves.”

-Mark Twain

“If you want to be successful, you must respect one rule: Never lie to yourself!”

–Paolo Coelho, Brazilian novelist

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

Thanks for reading this and remember, if you have the uncomfortable feeling that you are caught up in a web of your own self-deception or other people are telling that you are, contact me for a complimentary consultation to see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching can help you be clear, honest and authentic about what really matters in your life. You can do that by going to TedMoreno.com/contact.

Be real,

Ted

Is Your Lack of Integrity Causing You to Crash and Burn? – Episode 449

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You can have the greatest plan, the most sincere intentions, the most brilliant idea, but if you don’t have the glue to bring it together and make it stick, it just won’t fly. What is that glue? It’s called integrity, which is the ability to be your word, to do what you say you are going to do. It’s the integration of your words and actions.

With integrity, your words can move mountains, without it, your words have no power. In this episode Ted talks about what is arguably the most important principle you can master: sticking to your word.

 

 

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

 

I liked building model airplanes when I was a kid. Back then, you would use modeling cement which came in a tube. One day though, I discovered I didn’t have enough modeling cement to build my plane. I asked my mom if she could buy me some. She said sure, we’ll go tomorrow to the hobby store and get some.

But I was very impatient. I was looking forward to building my plane and I simply couldn’t wait until tomorrow. I wanted to build the plane today. So I rustled through the cabinets, and I found some of that white Elmer’s Glue, and that’s how I built my plane.

I would hang my planes from the ceiling of my bedroom, so when the glue was clear and dry I picked up the plane by one of the wings, and got up on a stepstool to hang it up but the wing broke off from the rest of the plane and it came crashing to the ground. All of the pieces that I glued with the Elmers glue fell off and some broke into little pieces. Man, was I upset. All the parts were coming off because you don’t use white glue to build a model airplane. You use modelling cement.

The problem was that my little plane had no integrity. It had all the parts, except the part that mattered most of all: the right kind of glue to keep it together.

You can have the greatest plan, you can have the sincerest intentions, the most brilliant idea, but if you don’t have the right glue to bring it together and keep it together, it just won’t fly. Or worse, after it gets airborne, it will come crashing to the ground. What is that glue? It’s called integrity.

Integrity is the ability to be your word, to do what you say you are going to do. It is a state of being whole and undivided. In other words, what you say and what you do are in alignment. It is the integration of your words and your actions. With integrity, your words can move mountains. Without it, the words coming out of your mouth have little or no power. You know how they say talk is cheap? The fact is that people cheapen talk and when your talk is cheap, few will buy it.

In my hypnotherapy practice, people come to me because they are unable to accomplish their goals and they can’t figure out why. Upon further inquiry we often find out that they can’t trust themselves. They can’t count on themselves to do what they say they are going to do. They’ll tell themselves that they are going to start this or that or do this or that, but they don’t do it so consequently their words and actions are not bound together, so things fall apart. We all suffer from lack of integrity at times, but the question is: is it a value that you strive for? If it is, you’ll have more integrity, if it’s not, you will have less. It’s that simple.

Can you keep your agreement to be somewhere at a time that you agreed to? If you can’t, it sends the message loud and clear: this person cannot be counted on to do what they are going to do.

Do you honor your financial agreements by paying your bills on time? If you don’t guess what happens? Your credit score announces to the world: you can’t count on this person to pay back money that they borrow as agreed.

Can you keep the agreement you made to abide by the rules of the road when driving your car? If you can’t, you get a ticket or worse get thrown in jail!

It all boils down to this: Do you do what you say you are going to do? If you do it once, probably no one will notice. Do it five times, people start to respect you. Do it one hundred times and you become dependable. Do it every single time and guess what happens?

Your word now has power. When you speak, people listen. If you say it’s going to rain, people start buying umbrellas, and if you say it will flood, they start buying boats. Need funds? A handshake will get you millions. Now, you show up in the world as a rock, unshakable in your ability to gather people and resources, to move and inspire people to action. Just say the word and people will fight for you and die for you because they know that you make things happen, because every time you said it was going to happen, it did, sure as the day follows night.

But your ability to have this kind of integrity doesn’t start with showing up on time and paying your bills or keeping promises to people. Nope. Those are just the outward signs.

The power of integrity and the force that it wields start with keeping your word to yourself. This is where all accomplishment starts. This is where all manifestation happens. This is where you get the lift under your wings that takes you to higher levels of success and accomplishment.

Of course, it’s easier to keep your word with someone else than it is to keep your word to yourself. Because if you don’t keep your promises to yourself, who’s going to know? Who’s going to hold you accountable?

I know what I’m talking about. I used to be flaky. Like it didn’t matter if I kept my word or not. I spent a lot of time making excuses as to why I wasn’t moving forward. The truth is that I was unable to move myself to action. I didn’t trust myself when I told myself that I was going to do something. In my mind I would hear the words “BS, you know it ain’t gonna happen.”

I put a lot at stake when I started my hypnotherapy practice. I took out a big loan to go to hypnotherapy school. I knew I could learn the material, but what I was afraid of was not doing anything with it. So, the hardest thing I had to learn to become a successful hypnotherapist was to do what I said I would do even if I didn’t want to. I didn’t have anybody else leaning on me to do it, I had no boss other than myself, but the prospect of hypnotherapy training as just another thing that I tried but didn’t follow through was more than I could bear. I was forced to cultivate a higher degree of integrity with myself.

Integrity means integration of your own thoughts, words and deeds. It means you are whole, that all the parts are working together in unison and that your promises to yourself are not scattered to and fro by circumstance, but instead, are constructed to maintain altitude and attitude in the face of breakdowns, obstacles, and the winds of change.

You can begin to develop a degree of trust in yourself that knows neither fear nor doubt. The good news is that integrity is a muscle you can exercise.

Do you want to tighten up your integrity? Want to start using a stronger glue? Here are some things to take on:

· Start waking up at the hour you say you will, every day except one day. Do it come hell, high water, or late-night parties.

· Be where you said you were going to be on time. All the time.

· Set an easy goal with a deadline. Accomplish it. Set a harder goal. Accomplish it. Set an audacious goal. Accomplish it.

· Start taking 3 daily actions that you will do every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Regardless of whether you want to or not or whether it’s convenient or not.

· When you commit, do so with the full responsibility of choice that you will show up 100%. If you can’t, don’t.

It takes practice. It’s not easy, but it’s simple. You do what you say you are going to do. Your speech and actions cemented together and taking wing on the power of your word: that’s integrity.

I was not taught this as a kid. I learned the importance of integrity as an adult, and it made all the difference in the world. If you have the uncomfortable feeling that your talk is cheap and you want to make it more valuable, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary consultation to see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching can lift you to a higher level of performance. You can do that by going to TedMoreno.com/contact.

Here’s a quote for you:

“The wind might cause a kite to rise, but what keeps it up there is the fact that somebody on the ground has a steady hand. You must hold steady to your values – your integrity. It’s your anchor. You let go of that. . . well, it isn’t long before your kite comes crashing down.”

~Mark Victor Hansen.

 

Thanks for reading!

Ted

Money Anxiety: How to Manage Worry and Stress – Episode 449

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A recent survey reveals that 52 percent of adults say that money negatively impacts their mental health. Another survey reports that 77% of Americans feel anxious about their financial situation. Money or financial anxiety is defined as the persistent and constant worry and stress about finances.
Money anxiety is experienced by people that are well off and those who are struggling financially. Financial anxiety has the potential to paralyze us with stress and fear and move us to make poor financial decisions. However, it’s possible to manage our money without anxiety and with control and confidence. In this episode, Ted discusses what to do if you are challenged by money anxiety.

 

Listen to this Episode Now:

I don’t know about you but where I live in Southern California, everything seems to have gotten a lot more expensive. Eating out at a restaurant for my family of four will easily be close to a hundred dollars or more. My car insurance went up with the addition of the new used car I just bought as well as having a teenager driving now. Let’s not even talk about the cost of a gallon of gas.

As a hypnotherapist who has helped many people cope with money anxiety over the years, I can tell you that it’s one of the biggest challenges for people today. If you’ve been feeling anxious about money and finances lately, you are not alone. The American Psychological Association did a survey in 2022 called the Stress in America Survey. 87 percent of people who responded listed inflation as a source of significant stress.

According to a financial wellness survey conducted by Bankrate, 52 percent of adults say that money negatively impacts their mental health. Also, according to this same survey, women are more likely to experience financial stress than men — 56 percent of women said money has a negative effect on their mental health, compared to 47 percent of men.

Furthermore, according to a new Mind over Money survey by Capital One and The Decision Lab, 77% of Americans report feeling anxious about their financial situation.

Money or financial anxiety is defined as the persistent and constant worry and stress about finances including:

· Not having enough money to pay bills.

· Concerns about future financial stability as well as in retirement.

· Social expectations and comparing yourself to how you perceive others are doing financially and making it mean something bad about yourself.

· Exaggerated worries about becoming homeless and destitute even though this might be highly unlikely for you. In other words, maybe you have a good income and all the money you need to take care of your financial obligations but you still have a deep feeling of unease or worry that you’re going to lose it all.

We all have stress and worry about money occasionally, but financial or money anxiety can be debilitating and like most types of anxiety, can lead to various physical and emotional challenges such as problems sleeping, feeling overwhelmed, aches and pains caused by worry and stress and feelings of guilt for what you should’ve or could’ve done in the past but didn’t.

Some of the symptoms that can alert you that worry and stress about money has turned into money anxiety are:

· Avoidance. You don’t want to talk about it, think about it or do anything to address your situation. You’re not checking your bank accounts, not paying bills, not planning.

· Family conflicts. There are arguments over money and irritability and resentment over choices or purchases made in the past.

· Overspending or fear of spending. You might start overspending to self soothe or stop spending any money at all, even on necessities.

· Hoarding. You save everything, not throwing anything away.

· Gambling and other risky behaviors.

· Substance abuse as a way to deal with stress and avoid addressing the problem. This is very common and very destructive.

Whether we are struggling to make ends meet or doing fine but still experiencing worry and stress about money, the thing to remember is that money anxiety can keep us from taking the actions we need to take to get control over our money and our emotions. Money anxiety and its symptoms can contribute to poor financial decisions creating a more insecure financial state.

So how can we begin to let go of worry and anxiety and take control to make things better?

Start with your mental health. Get your head on straight. This is where it all starts. Get grounded, pay attention to sleeping, eating and exercise and avoid unhealthy behaviors such as drinking. Get yourself a therapist or hypnotherapist if you need to talk to someone to get out of that fight/flight response and address any negative feelings of guilt, resentment, stress, and anxiety.

Next, deal with your money situation head on. Review your finances and take things one step at a time. Be clear about how your money is being spent and how much you need to meet your monthly obligations. Prioritize bills or the things that require the most attention. Make a budget so that you can track your spending. When you dive in and start addressing your situation this will give you a feeling of control which will help lower anxiety. It’s about taking action even though it might be uncomfortable.

Ask for help from an expert. Even if that is someone in your family that is better with money than you. Seek out a financial advisor or counselor that you trust. You don’t need to do it on your own.

Create some financial goals. What do you want? Can you begin a savings program so that you have some cash on hand? Can you open an IRA or contribute a bit more to your 401k? Take some time to create short term goals such as saving a specific amount of money or paying off a debt but also create long term goals for a home or car purchase or funding education.

Track your expenses so that you can control your spending. Write expenses down in a checkbook register or review your account online weekly. Regularly review your

financial situation so that you know what’s going on and are actively managing your finances. “Where attention goes, energy flows” is a quote by Tony Robbins and James Redfield that suggests that whatever you focus on will grow.

Work on your relationship with money. You have a story about money that is in a large part based on the programming you received about money. Your relationship with money, and hence how much money you have, will have a lot to do with the story you have been telling yourself. The implication here is that if you have problems with money, it may have a lot to do with how you think about money. We all bring our own associations to finances and money and some associations are good and some are bad. Try to identify beliefs about money that keep you stuck in feelings of scarcity and worry. Read books, listen to podcasts, and educate yourself on how to be better with money. Watch your self-talk, avoid catastrophic thinking, and never affirm that you have no money, or that you are broke, or use language that keeps worry and fear in place.

One of the most helpful books that I have read that helped me release my own money anxiety is Busting Loose from the Money Game: Mind-Blowing Strategies for Changing the Rules of a Game You Can’t Win by Robert Scheinfeld. There is a process described in this book that I have used to significantly and permanently release much of the money anxiety I used to have. I also invite you to listen to my Ted in Your Head podcast episode 443: 7 Steps to Change Scarcity Consciousness to an Abundance Mindset. By the way, did you know Ted in Your Head is on Spotify now?

Lastly, my good friend Michelle Arpin Begina has released her excellent book Be Good with Money and I am reading it and really enjoying it and I recommend you get it too. It’s available on Amazon.com. I plan to have her as my guest on a future podcast but in the meantime, check out my podcast interview with Michelle by searching for Ted in Your Head episode 319 at tedmoreno.com/podcast or by clicking here.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

After today’s episode, you might be asking how hypnotherapy and high performance coaching can help you transform money anxiety into confidence, shatter limiting thinking and activate the best and most prosperous version of yourself. If so, Ted is extending to you a one-time complimentary consultation. If you know that you’re ready to do something different and you are interested in exploring hypnotherapy to see if it’s a good fit for you, then you can request the consultation at https://tedmoreno.com/contact.

I hope you found today’s episode helpful. Here’s a quote to close it out:

“Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? No Pockets.” —Jerry Seinfeld, comedian

Thanks for listening and be sure to cultivate that feeling of abundance first in your mind.

How I Became a Hypnotherapist and What is Hypnosis? Episode P448

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After 20 years in private practice as a hypnotherapist, Ted reflects on his journey and what it took for him to find his path. Ted also discusses the truth about what hypnosis really is, and what a typical session with a client looks like.

 

 

 

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

I have attached a diagram, (courtesy of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute) this is what I use with every new client to explain how hypnosis and hypnotherapy works.

From the time we are born until about 8 years old, we are very suggestible. That just means that we take in everything as absolute truth. As children, we do not have the ability to analyze incoming information; we believe everything we are told. Most kids are walking around in hypnosis.

We learn likes and dislikes, what we are capable of, what we are not capable of, what is fearful, desirable, etc. This is the creation of our so called Life Script: a collection of beliefs and “knowns” that shape our behavior and thinking.  This happens at the level of our subconscious mind, so we are not aware that it is occurring. We all fall under the hypnosis of our culture, and adopt the beliefs of our parents, religion and society.

Between 7 and 9 years old, we begin to develop the “critical mind” which blocks suggestions into our subconscious minds. We began to question incoming information, we began to ask why, and to seek to understand the information presented to us. At this point we begin to develop our conscious minds, which we use for decision making, reasoning, analyzing, and logic. We start to think for ourselves.

As you can see from the diagram, the subconscious mind makes up 88% of our total “mind power” according to some estimates. The conscious mind, only about 12%. The subconscious mind has a much greater influence on our behavior.

What brings people into my office is the realization that they have a problem that they cannot seem to solve on their own. For instance, they can’t quit smoking, or get rid of anxiety or get motivated.

The reason for this is that that their subconscious minds contain the programming that keeps them anxious, or procrastinating, or smoking, or overeating. This programming comes from childhood. For instance, in the case of smoking,  someone may have seen their parents smoking, saw that they look relaxed when they were smoking, and maybe even saw commercials for smoking. (“Winston tastes good like a cigarette should”)

Their subconscious mind is familiar and comfortable with smoking, to the subconscious, it’s a “known”.

So even though they may want to quit smoking, the part that wants to quit is only 12 %: the conscious mind. But 88% wants to keep smoking. Which do you think will win out? Of course, the 88%.

Hypnosis as a tool for change.

This is where hypnosis comes in. When a person is in hypnosis, their critical mind, whose job is to be the gatekeeper to the subconscious mind, takes a break. They become very suggestible, or, open to suggestion.

So in a hypnotherapy session,  I can use the power of suggestion to get the subconscious mind familiar with what the goal is, so that the goal now becomes a “known” to the subconscious mind. With enough repetition and reinforcement, by coming to a few sessions or listening to recordings that I make for my clients, they can begin to reprogram their minds to stop smoking, be more calm and relaxed, or be more motivated. See how that works?

I’ve attached a diagram, (courtesy of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute) this is what I use with every new client to explain how hypnosis and hypnotherapy works.

From the time we are born until about 8 years old, we are very suggestible. That just means that we take in everything as absolute truth. As children, we do not have the ability to analyze incoming information; we believe everything we are told. Most kids are walking around in hypnosis.

We learn likes and dislikes, what we are capable of, what we are not capable of, what is fearful, desirable, etc. This is the creation of our so called Life Script: a collection of beliefs and “knowns” that shape our behavior and thinking.  This happens at the level of our subconscious mind, so we are not aware that it is occurring. We all fall under the hypnosis of our culture, and adopt the beliefs of our parents, religion and society.

Between 7 and 9 years old, we begin to develop the “critical mind” which blocks suggestions into our subconscious minds. We began to question incoming information, we began to ask why, and to seek to understand the information presented to us. At this point we begin to develop our conscious minds, which we use for decision making, reasoning, analyzing, and logic. We start to think for ourselves.

As you can see from the diagram, the subconscious mind makes up 88% of our total “mind power” according to some estimates. The conscious mind, only about 12%. The subconscious mind has a much greater influence on our behavior.

What brings people into my office is the realization that they have a problem that they cannot seem to solve on their own. For instance, they can’t quit smoking, or get rid of anxiety or get motivated.

The reason for this is that that their subconscious minds contain the programming that keeps them anxious, or procrastinating, or smoking, or overeating. This programming comes from childhood. For instance, in the case of smoking,  someone may have seen their parents smoking, saw that they look relaxed when they were smoking, and maybe even saw commercials for smoking. (“Winston tastes good like a cigarette should”)

Their subconscious mind is familiar and comfortable with smoking, to the subconscious, it’s a “known”.

So even though they may want to quit smoking, the part that wants to quit is only 12 %: the conscious mind. But 88% wants to keep smoking. Which do you think will win out? Of course, the 88%.

Hypnosis as a tool for change.

This is where hypnosis comes in. When a person is in hypnosis, their critical mind, whose job is to be the gatekeeper to the subconscious mind, takes a break. They become very suggestible, or, open to suggestion.

So in a hypnotherapy session,  I can use the power of suggestion to get the subconscious mind familiar with what the goal is, so that the goal now becomes a “known” to the subconscious mind. With enough repetition and reinforcement, by coming to a few sessions or listening to recordings that I make for my clients, they can begin to reprogram their minds to stop smoking, be more calm and relaxed, or be more motivated. See how that works?

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Ted had to overcome his own negative programming to enroll in hypnotherapy school and start a private practice. If you need to change your path, or if you are still looking for the right path for you, Ted’s been down that road and can offer support and the subconscious re-programming you need for success. Request a complimentary consultation so that you can get your questions answered and find out if hypnotherapy and high performance coaching is right for you. Go to http://TedMoreno.com/contact, send an email and Ted will get back to you within 48 hours.

 

Step by Step: How to Start Exercising Regularly – Episode P447

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Getting regular exercise is good for your body and good for your brain. It helps to release stress and tension, gives you a feeling of accomplishment, and gives you greater energy. Getting regular exercise will help you to have more energy, be happier, more focused and effective, less stressed, more confident, look better and live longer.

But, if you’re not in the habit of regular exercise, it can be difficult to go from not doing anything to getting regular and consistent exercise.

In this episode. Ted shares practical step by step directions to help you begin and maintain a consistent exercise program. It doesn’t have to be hard and it’s probably not as hard as you think. If you have been trying to get more exercise more often, listen to this episode!

One of the most common reasons people come to my hypnotherapy practice is for help in finding the motivation to exercise. We all know exercise is essential to health and wellness. Getting regular exercise is good for your body and good for your brain. It helps to release stress and tension, gives you a feeling of accomplishment, and gives you greater energy. Getting regular exercise will help you to be happier, more focused and effective, less stressed, more confident, look better and live longer. But you knew that, right?

For those that are challenged by anxiety, exercise is a must to get out of your head and into your body on a regular basis. But, if you’re not in the habit or regular exercise, it can be difficult to go from not doing anything to getting regular and consistent exercise.

The purpose of this podcast episode is not to sell you on the benefits of exercise, but to help you get started. Now, we all have reasons why we can’t do it right: it’s sweaty, it’s uncomfortable, you don’t have time, you can’t afford a gym or a personal trainer, or you don’t like going to the gym, you don’t want people to look at you, etc. Let’s be clear that focusing on all the reasons why you can’t exercise won’t help you. We are looking for solutions here! Refocus your mind on reasons why you CAN achieve the fitness you want and begin looking for ways to make it happen. (This episode will help.) I suggest you adopt a different perspective and begin to ask yourself “How can I start to get regular exercise?”

Here’s the answer: step by step adherence to a plan. The mistake people make is when they say “I can’t find the motivation to exercise!”

Motivation is not something you find, like you find it on Amazon and it shows up at your doorstep. No, you must generate motivation, or you will forever be looking out the window waiting for the truck to bring it to you.

Here are some practical step by step directions to help you begin and maintain a consistent exercise program:

1. The first step is to make the decision that getting exercise is something you MUST do. Not would like to, not it would be cool, not sure wish I could, not maybe someday. Make it a must. You want to find a word that is acceptable to you that doesn’t have negative connotations. Some people hate or have a negative reaction to the words exercise, working out, gym, etc., so find a word that works for you. It might be moving your body, getting fit, physical activity, etc. This is important!

2. Make it a goal and write it down. For example, you might write down, “My goal is to begin and maintain a program of regular physical fitness.” Write down all the reasons why you must get exercise or whatever word that describes what you want to do. Not why you

should, but why you must. Take a couple of minutes to imagine how you would feel if you were getting physical activity regularly and how you would feel about yourself. Use supportive language. Be your own coach. Talk to yourself using encouraging and motivating language. Before you go to bed, use affirmations such as “My health is my top priority and I am committed to my plan to exercise tomorrow at 7 am!” When you wake up in the morning, say to yourself “I’m committed to making this happen today!” This is how you develop a success mindset around your fitness.

3. Find something that you can do and enjoy. If you absolutely can’t stand going to the gym, then forget about that. There are plenty of other ways to increase physical fitness. Just to name a few: walking, hiking, biking, yoga, pilates, tai chi, chi gong, jumping jacks, jumping rope or using a rebounder (mini trampoline). In addition, there are plenty of videos and CD programs available for purchase or free online that can guide you. If doing the same thing bores you, then mix it up. Walk one day, hike another, ride a bike the next, take a class once a week.

Getting a fitness or exercise partner can make it a lot easier and enjoyable. If you can find someone to walk, hike, bike, go to the gym or take a class with, you are much more likely to do it and enjoy it.

5. PLAN! This is probably the most important step. Remember that most people don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan. Be realistic as to when you can fit in your activity. To go from doing nothing to getting up at 6 am everyday and going to the gym is probably not realistic. Or maybe it’s just not possible to get it in before work. Maybe it’s the first thing you do after you get home from work. We’re busy people, so take some time to sit down and plan the days and times that will work for you. Try to make these times as consistent if possible. In other words, schedule the same days and times every week. We are trying to create a new habit. Write it down in your schedule book/app as an appointment and create reminders for yourself.

6. Start with easily achievable steps. Success by the inch is a cinch, by the yard it’s very hard. Shoot for 2 times a week, for 30 minutes each time, or even 15 minutes. Start small and work your way up. If you plan to get out and do something twice a week and you do it, congratulations you are a success! However, if you plan for 5 days a week and only do three, you might be tempted to beat yourself up.

Bonus tip: Hire a personal trainer. This will make you accountable and will most likely get you the best results. Do your homework and find someone reputable with good reviews or ask around for a good referral. Ask lots of questions of potential trainers and communicate

clearly what your goals are and how you want to be trained i.e. “I want someone to kick my butt” or “I want some to be gentle with me.”

You can do this. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but discomfort becomes comfort if repeated enough. To reiterate, be clear about why you must start and the benefit you will receive. Getting into a regular schedule of consistent activity and feeling the benefits can be one of your greatest accomplishments.

Remember 12 vs 88! 12 percent of your mind is your conscious mind and it wants to exercise. 88% of your mind is your subconscious mind, and it does not want to exercise if exercise is not a known to your subconscious. That’s where I come in. As a hypnotherapist, I work at the level of the subconscious mind using the power of suggestion. If you need support getting into the exercise habit, you can get in touch with me be going to tedmoreno.com/contact. Send me an email or give me a call and we’ll have a nice complimentary phone consultation to answer your questions and see if hypnotherapy and high performance coaching is right for you.

Quotes:

Believe you can, and you’re halfway there. – Theodore Roosevelt

You don’t have to be extreme. Just consistent. – Unknown

Thank you for listening, get out there and make it happen and we’ll talk soon.

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

Your conscious mind (12%) wants to exercise, but your subconscious mind (88%) does not want to exercise. As a hypnotherapist, Ted works at the level of the subconscious mind using the power of suggestion. If  you need support getting into the exercise habit, you can get in touch with Ted by going to http://tedmoreno.com/contact.You can request a complimentary phone consultation to answer your questions and see if hypnotherapy and high performance coaching is right for you.

 

Test Anxiety? 7 Tips to Prepare and Pass – Episode 446

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According to the American Test Anxiety Association, 38 percent of students have high or moderately high test anxiety. Test anxiety is where the test taker feels severe distress before, during and after the test. Test anxiety can not only interfere with information recall but may also cause some people to give up taking the text entirely or to keep putting it off, even though their career success depends on it. In this episode, Ted discusses test anxiety and offers 7 valuable tips for preparing for tests and taking tests while remaining calm, in control and able to recall the information needed to pass. It’s test time, so if you know someone who can benefit from listening to this podcast, please pass this along to them.

 

 

We’re getting into the spring and summer months and for students of all ages that means it’s time to take tests.  From 7 th grade final exams to the LSAT, many students will pass their tests, some will fail because they are not prepared, and some will fail, even though they’re prepared,  because of test anxiety.
Test anxiety can show up as early as first and second grades as well as in high school and beyond.

Did you know there is actually an American Test Anxiety Association? According to the ATAA:
*Roughly 16–20 percent of students have high test anxiety.
*Another 18 percent have moderately high test anxiety.
*Test anxiety is the most common academic impairment in grade school, high school, and college.

What is test anxiety?
Test anxiety is “the set of phenomenological, physiological, and behavioral responses that accompany concern about possible negative consequences or failure on an exam or similar evaluative situation.” That is from a book titled “Test Anxiety: The state of the art” by Moshe Zeidner.  Put another way, test anxiety is a combination of over-arousal, tension, worry, dread, fear of failure, and “catastrophizing” before or during test situations.

It is a psychological condition where the test taker feels severe distress before, during and after the test; one can get so nervous and anxious about doing well (or just passing), that performance on a test is negatively affected. If you have any experience as to how a college final can produce this type of anxiety, then imagine having test anxiety while taking the bar exam, or an exam for licensure, where the stakes are high and there has been a significant investment in both money and time. It’s normal to have some type of nervousness about taking a test and in fact, this nervousness can be helpful by getting us into a state where we are pumped up to do well. But when this nervousness escalates into test anxiety, however, it can not only interfere with recall of information but may create a reaction so intense that it causes some people to give up taking the exam entirely, or to continue to put it off until
“someday”.

 It’s important to understand that test anxiety is a form of performance anxiety.
Performance anxiety is where someone is extremely nervous about having to produce a result in a limited time or in front of people who are judging them. Test anxiety, stage fright, fear of public speaking and “choking” in sports performance fall into this category.

Symptoms of performance anxiety are like most other forms of anxiety reactions: rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, shortness of breath, shakiness, confusion, or other physical aches or pains such as nausea or a stomachache. Like in the kind of stomachache your kid starts getting around final exam time.  In my work as a hypnotherapist with people who are challenged by test anxiety, I notice that many of these people share similar characteristics, such as being prone to high stress, having perfectionist tendencies, or worrying a lot.  The good news is that most instances of test anxiety can be dealt with in just a few hypnotherapy sessions, but here are some suggestions you can use right away to help you with deal with text anxiety.

Here are 7 tips to prepare and pass:
1. Diet can affect your ability to think and recall information. If you are skipping meals or eating meals or snacks high in carbs while studying for an exam, then you may be experiencing episodes of low blood sugar (blood glucose). Low blood sugar can trigger anxiety. Since the organ that uses the most glucose is the brain, a balanced diet can be helpful in creating optimal brain power. Have healthy snacks while you study and don’t skip meals.

2.  Sleep seems to go by the wayside when students are preparing for exams. Plan your study or help your child plan their study time for when you feel the most alert, which for most people is not usually late at night. But if that works for you, then make sure you’re getting the amount of sleep that’s right for you. It’s probably more than you think: 8 hours for adults and even more for children. It makes sense to be well rested in the days leading up to a major exam, wouldn’t you agree? Being sleep deprived can trigger anxiety. I understand that at crunch time, if you’re an adult studying for the NCLEX and you have a family and a job, that you might need to burn the midnight oil. But get the sleep that you can.

3. Schedule your study.  Not knowing when, where or how you can study can cause test anxiety. Last minute cramming can leave you feeling like you are not ready, also creating anxiety. Manage your time by organizing your schedule to give yourself the best conditions for learning. Decide ahead of time when, where, and for how long you will study. I suggest studying in periods of 50 minutes to one hour, with 10 to 15 minute breaks in between. Don’t sit in a chair for over an hour staring at a book, notes or videos, this can put you into a negative state of overwhelm which leads to a negative state of hypnosis. Overwhelm can be a real problem. Too much to do, too much to think about, and too much to handle, can be overwhelming. That’s why scheduling is a good thing to do. It enables you to chunk it down into bite size pieces. In other words, you would say to yourself:  “I’m going to study from this time to this time, then I’m going to watch a little tv, then go to bed.”

4.  Effective Preparation. Many people will only prepare for an exam by cramming the information into their heads. This is only half the equation; taking the test will involve recalling the information. Prepare for the exam by taking as many practice tests as you can as soon as you can. This will also clue you in as to what areas require more study. Remember the three Rs: Relax, Retain and Recall. The more relaxed you are, the more you will retain, and the more you will be able to recall. So, what would be ineffective preparation? Being tense and anxious while studying. Procrastinating. Putting it off. Worrying about failing.  Doing these things is a recipe for test anxiety. Oh, and another thing: if you have to go to a testing center to take the test, be sure that you know exactly how to get
there, where to park and where to go. It might even be worth taking a drive out there if possible so that you know what to expect. Make sure you prepare your materials the night before the exam. Don’t do anything the morning of except eat and go. If your drive to the testing center is a long way, say an hour or more, consider renting a cheap motel room near the testing center and spending the night there so that the next morning you just get up, eat and get to the testing center in a few minutes.

5. Watch your self-talk. Self-talk is your internal language or thoughts. For God’s sake, avoid scaring yourself with inner conversations like “I know I’m going to just blank out right in the middle of the test!” or “I just suck at taking tests!” or “I’m going to bomb this test!” This is not helpful. Give yourself encouragement and support. Use positive affirmations in the days and weeks leading up to the exam.

6. Mental visualization can be one of the most effective techniques you can use to mentally “rehearse” taking the test while feeling calm, relaxed and comfortable.  Remember that your mind can’t distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined. The more you vividly imagine the outcome you want, the more likely your mind will help you get it. Take 3 to 5 minutes to sit with eyes closed before you study and imagine, visualize or see yourself walking out of the testing location feeling good about your performance. Imagine receiving the information that you have passed. Setting a goal of passing with a particular score increases the chances that you will.  Take a 3×5 card or a piece of paper and write the score that you want to achieve. For instance, if you need to score a 70 to pass, aim for 79 or 81. Write on your card or piece of paper, “I am passing the bar exam on July 23 and 24th with a score of 79 or higher.” If the exam is pass or fail, say “Passing with a high score.”

7.  Extreme self-care Get a massage or two in the days or weeks before the exam to release excess tension and stress. Get a good night’s sleep the night before the exam, and don’t even think about showing up without eating a good meal with protein. Daily walking or any type of exercise can also be a great stress reliever. Remember, anxiety comes from prolonged stress and tension. Find ways to release it. Relax, retain, recall For the most part, test anxiety is a learned response. With practice, you can unlearn test anxiety and learn a different reaction. Have faith in your brain and cultivate a strong and abiding belief that you can and will pass!

I work a lot with people who have exam anxiety so if you are thinking that hypnosis and high-performance coaching might be the key to more relaxation, easier preparation and a passing score on your exam or exams, then reach out for a complimentary consultation. We’ll talk about what’s going on, I’ll answer any questions you might have and if you are ready, we’ll schedule your first session and start making it better. To request your complimentary consultation, go to https://tedmoreno.com/contact. I’ll get back to you within 48 hours.

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Here is your Episode Quote:
“Recipe for success: Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing, and dream while others are wishing.” – that’s by the motivation author William A. Ward

Thanks for reading this and good luck!
Ted

 

Top 10 Reasons Why Walking Can Change Your Life – Episode 445

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Walking. So simple and so easy. Humans and their ancestors have been doing it for a million years. We are meant to walk. Our bodies are designed for upright, bipedal locomotion. Walking is a complex behavior that exercises our brains as well as our skeletal system. It is a harmonious integration of various body systems including the inner ear, eyes, touch receptors, muscles, tendons, and joints. The good news is that walking is really good for you and many physicians consider it the best form of exercise. In this episode, Ted, a dedicated walker, shares the top 10 reasons why starting a habit of daily walking can change you life. Are you trying to get some exercise but don’t want to go to a gym or walk on a boring treadmill? Check out this episode of the Ted in Your Head podcast.

It’s been a rainy winter and spring here in Southern California. There’s a song from the 70s called “It Never Rains in California” but let me tell you, when it does, it pours.

Anyway, after the rain we had last weekend, we had a day of sunny weather with temps in the mid-eighties. I couldn’t wait to get out and walk for the first time in a long time in a t shirt and shorts and let me tell you it felt good. All the wildflowers were blooming, the snowcapped San Gabriel Mountains loomed beautifully in the distance and the sun reflected of off of Puddingstone Lake in a thousand sparkling twinkles. It was glorious and I just soaked it all up with gratitude and a feeling of being incredibly blessed.

I’m a walker. I’ve walked more miles in my life than you can imagine. If you have been listening to my podcast or following me on social media, you know how much I love to walk. I have walked to some of the most wonderful, magical, and breathtaking places I’ve ever seen, where a car could not go.

I first started to walk after having some autoimmune eye problems and back problems as a young man. I asked my chiropractor what I could do to help my back other than stretching. He said walk every day.

I asked my eye doctor what I could do to prevent these recurring eye problems. She said walk every day. But I didn’t start walking consistently for exercise until I read a book by Dr. Andrew Weil called “Spontaneous Healing”. Dr. Weil suggests that the cross-pattern movement of your limbs when you walk generates electrical activity in the brain that has a harmonizing influence on the central nervous system. I was sold at that point, and I’ve been walking ever since every day if I can.

In my work as a hypnotherapist helping people to change, I deal with many issues such as smoking cessation, weight loss, anxiety, stress, and health issues, just to name a few. There’s lots of different tools, including hypnosis, of course, that I use to help them deal with these challenges. But one of the first things that I will recommend to my clients is to walk every day.

Think about how far we have come from the days before the automobile when everyone walked. The car has only been in large scale production for a little over 100 years. We humans and our ancestors have been walking for over a million years.

We are meant to walk. Our bodies are designed for upright, bipedal locomotion. Walking is a complex behavior that exercises our brains as well as our skeletal system. It is a harmonious integration of various body systems including the inner ear, eyes, touch receptors, muscles, tendons, and joints.

Walking requires no skill or special equipment except a good pair of shoes. You can do it anywhere, indoors, or out. It doesn’t cost anything, and the chance of injury is slight. It’s simple, yet many health professionals consider it the best form of exercise.

According to Dr. Andrew Weil, for an ideal aerobic workout, your walks should last 45 minutes, and you should be able to cover three miles in that time. But you don’t have to walk for very long to get some benefit. Studies show that a brisk, 30-minute walk five days a week can help you live a longer, healthier life.

Walking has positive benefits for both mind and body. Walking outside connects you with sky and ground, sun and earth, wind, and water. It’s from these things that we are made of, after all. Walking is visually stimulating. Walking can break up the monotony of the same house, same office, same freeway. Walking can give you relief from SSDD (same stuff, different day.)

Have you ever walked on a moonlit night when the full moon lit everything up so bright that it looked like day? When was the last time you walked barefoot in the grass? Have you ever not been able to walk for any length of time? Walking gets pretty valuable right about then.

Here are the top 10 reasons why walking can change your life.

1. Walking can improve your mood. A California State University, Long Beach, study showed that the more steps people took during the day, the better their moods were. Walking can decrease feelings of anger and hostility especially if you walk near greenery, like in a park and in the sun. Research shows that just 10 minutes a day of walking can lighten your mood and lift your spirits. So, walking can make you

happier. I don’t know about you, but I think that there’s a lot of grouchy people out there that can sure use those 10 minutes.

2. Walking burns calories and helps you maintain a healthy weight. Taking brisk walks daily can help you drop as much as a pound a week. Not only that, but some studies have suggested that walking can help you control sugar cravings. And of course, walking is good for heart health. Walking 30 minutes a day 5 days a week can decrease your risk for heart disease by almost 20%.

3. Walking can lower your risk for chronic diseases. A 2022 study published in Nature Medicine shows that walking can reduce your risk for a variety of chronic diseases. One study showed that walking 8,200 steps effectively reduced the risk of chronic conditions, including: obesity, sleep apnea, gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD), major depressive disorder (MDD), type 2 diabetes, and hypertension.

4. Walking can help you sleep better. People that walk are less likely to have insomnia than people who don’t walk. Any physical activity will boost melatonin, the sleep hormone.

5. Walking is good for your brain. Walking increases blood flow to the brain, improving brain function. Some studies have shown that walking can increase your decision-making abilities. Walking can slow down mental decline and lower the risk of Alzheimer’s disease.

6. Walking keeps your bones strong and reduces joint pain. Walking increases blood flow to the joints, strengthens muscles and ligaments and can reduce the risk of osteoporosis. We’re talking about 30 minutes, 3 time a week. Not a lot. There are studies that also suggest that walking is a safe and convenient activity for those with arthritis.

7. Walking strengthens your immune system. That’s why I started walking, I was diagnosed with some autoimmune issues when I was young. There are numerous studies that show the people that walk daily get sick less and get fewer respiratory infections. If they do get sick, it’s not as severe. People that walk spend less time in hospitals.

8. Walking improves your digestive health by encouraging movement in the GI system resulting in better bowel movements. That might not be a big deal to you now but talk to me when you get into your 60s about how important a good poop can be. 9. Walking can enhance your creativity. A 2014 study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, Learning, Memory, and Cognition, suggests that going for a walk can spark creativity. I’ve had great ideas for podcasts while walking as well as coming up with creative ideas to overcome challenges in my life. Furthermore, if we look back into the history of our most famous creative thinkers, you can find numerous accounts of those that had their most important creative ideas while taking a stroll.

10. Walking can help you live longer. According to the Arthritis Foundation website, research finds that people who exercise regularly in their fifties and sixties are 35% less likely to die over the next eight years than people who don’t walk. According to the CDC, The Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans recommend that adults get at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity such as walking. According to the Prevention.com website: “People who completed the recommended 150 minutes of weekly exercise in at least 10-minute spurts had a 31% lower risk of death. Other research shows the faster you walk, the more your risk drops.”

Are you convinced? What else do you need to know to put on your walking shoes and get out there? Start small, such as 2 or 3 days a week walking for 10 or 15 minutes. Work your way up to 5 or 7 days a week for 30 minutes. Make sure you have a good pair of shoes, and if you’re going to walk at night for God’s sake make sure you are visible and have a flashlight. Find a nice place to walk, if possible, where there is natural beauty and where you feel safe.

Many of the things that can change our lives are those things that we commit to doing consistently. If you want better health, a more comfortable body and a calmer, clearer mind, then do the simple thing that humans and their ancestors have been doing for a million years: walk.

If you need some motivation and support to get out there and start walking or exercising in general, I can help you. I invite you to request a complimentary consultation by going to https://tedmoreno.com/contact.

Here’s a quote by Gary Snyder: “Walking is the rhythm of life.”

“An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.”

That’s by Henry David Thoreau.

Have a blessed day

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >
–
If you need some motivation and support to get out there and start walking or exercising in general, I can help you.  I invite you to request a complimentary consultation by going to https://tedmoreno.com/contact.

 

Anticipatory Anxiety: How to Stop Fearing What Hasn’t Happened: Episode 444

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Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety we experience in anticipation of doing things that frighten us. Call it the fear of being afraid. If we perceive something will be fearful for us, or if we have found that situation fearful in the past, we can become so unwilling to go through that fear again that we start making ourselves afraid or anxious even before anything’s happened. Anticipatory anxiety can shut us down and stop us cold. So, what can we do to keep anticipatory anxiety at bay? In this episode, Ted talks about how to stop creating fear and anxiety for yourself about something that has not happened. If you have driving anxiety, social anxiety or any kind of anxiety, check out this episode.

Listen to this podcast episode now:

I bought the house I live in in the middle of the recession in 2009. My hypnotherapy practice was very slow. A scary thought started eating its way into my mind like a parasite. It went like this: “Because of this recession, I’m going to lose my house and I just bought it.” This thought grew in intensity and fear as I continued to feed the parasite with negative scenarios, such as imagining me and my wife packing up our stuff and moving back into an apartment, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. I had been in tough financial situations in the past which had caused me a lot of anxiety and fear.

It got to the point where I found myself expecting something bad to happen. Because of the negative vibes I was sending out, my business phone stopped ringing almost completely, which made the situation even worse. I was as nervous as a snail crossing the highway. I was experiencing anticipatory anxiety which is the fear of what might happen.

One night I was lying in bed kind of freaking out, thinking about all the past pickles I’d found myself in. All of a sudden it occurred to me that I had been in situations much more dire and had managed to make it through. I’d never been homeless, always had enough to eat, and always had people willing to help me out. I realized that I had been creating frightening images in my mind that simply had not happened. I was scaring the crap out of myself. (I call this scatpooy, by the way, which stands for scaring the poop out of yourself.)

The truth was, I was not even close to losing my house. Yet, I was imagining it as if it was already happening. Because the mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined, these scary scenarios were creating fear and anxiety in me. That night, I stopped focusing on what I didn’t want. I wrote some goals down, and started to focus and think about what I wanted, which was prosperity, abundance and happiness.

We think that worry will protect us. It won’t. We think that having anxiety will prepare us. It won’t. In fact, all anxiety does is shut us down.

It’s good to be concerned, and it’s wise to plan for eventualities. It’s smart to see the writing on the wall and be prepared with a contingency plan. It’s another thing entirely to create fear and worry over something that doesn’t exist or that hasn’t happened yet. To imagine something bad happening before it’s happened is not helpful.

In my work with clients, typically people who have anticipatory anxiety are already anxious about things like driving, social situations, test taking, or even being able to perform in bed. The thought that creates anticipatory anxiety is “What if…”

For example, someone who is anxious while driving might avoid driving altogether because of the thought “What if I have a panic attack while driving?” even though it may have been years since they had a panic attack. Of course, this kind of thinking makes anxiety and even a panic attack more likely to happen. It’s a vicious cycle of fear.

Someone who has social anxiety might think “What if I get self-conscious and turn red and people notice that I’m uncomfortable?”

Call it the fear of being afraid. If we perceive something will be fearful for us, or if we have found that situation fearful in the past, we can become so unwilling to go through that fear again that we start making ourselves afraid or anxious even before anything’s happened. There’s a great article on Psychology today titled “Anticipatory Anxiety: Bleeding Before You Are Cut.” It goes on to say that:

· Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety we experience in anticipation of doing things that frighten us.

· Anticipatory anxiety is the third layer of anxiety—the avoidance aspect.

Anticipatory anxiety can shut us down and stop us cold. So, what can we do to keep anticipatory anxiety at bay?

The first thing to do is to be clear about what you want, and not focus on what you don’t want. You might say “My intention is to be calm and comfortable while driving.” Or “I want to feel calm and in control in social situations. Write it down like a goal. Start to direct your mind towards the outcome you want to see and get your mind more familiar with that. Ask yourself “How would my life be better if I can be free from this fear or anxiety?”

Second, try to see reality clearly if you can. Anticipatory anxiety can cloud your vision. Get present to what’s happening now, instead of the disaster that you think will happen. Then deal with what is in front of you. If you can do that, you’ll see that it’s probably not as bad as the horror film in your head. Get out of your head and into your body. Breathe and take some steps to calm yourself down in the moment. Are you exaggerating? Are you catastrophizing a little too much? Can you step back just a bit and say, “Well, it probably won’t be that bad?”

Next, change your language. Check what you’re saying to yourself. Does it sound something like this “Oh my god, I just know that this is going to be terrible?” If so then, stop and ask yourself: “How do I know that? Can I predict the future? How do I know that it’s going to be terrible?” Answer: you don’t. Even if it has been that way before, remember the past does not have to equal the future. Every thought is a prayer to the universe and all human creation starts in the mind. Use daily affirmations to change your pattern of self-talk. My favorite affirmation is this: “Right here, right now, everything is ok.” Practice calming yourself now as you think about the situation that’s coming up. This will help to associate calm and relaxation with the situation. It’s easier than calming yourself when you are in the middle of it.

The next step is to determine what actions you can take now to prepare, remedy, or plan for the situation that’s worrying you. Ask “How can I make this more manageable for myself?” Realize that for every problem, there is a solution. It may not be the ideal solution but try something. Doing nothing leaves you even more paralyzed and stuck with that churning feeling in your gut.

Lastly, see if you can cultivate trust and confidence in your ability to overcome fear. I can assure you of this: you have no idea how resilient you can be. Sometimes we need to be put to the test to force us to reach deep down inside for courage, resourcefulness and plain ole grit. You’ve got to tell yourself every day” I refuse to use the immense power of my imagination to create fear and anxiety for myself. I’m up for this challenge; it may not go my way but I won’t let it take me down.” Accept that some things are scary and that your mind is doing what it needs to do to keep you safe. Don’t beat yourself up for being afraid. The key is to face the fear and move through it.

We have these amazing imaginations that allow us to imagine things that don’t exist. This allows us to create first in our minds, then in reality, amazing accomplishments, dreams and desires. Or using that same amazing imagination, we can create the most frightful scenarios that leave us trembling and disempowered.

It all starts in the mind. How will you use the incredible power of your mind?

Speaking of the incredible power of your mind, if you need some help tapping into that power to overcome fear and anxiety, I invite you to reach out and request a complimentary consultation. Go to tedmoreno.com/contact, send me an email and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours. We’ll have a conversation to see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching is right for you and if it is, we’ll get started with your first hypnotherapy session.

In closing, let me leave you with a quote by Alfred Hitchcock:

“There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.”

Thanks for reading this and have a great day.

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

If you need some help tapping into your mindpower to overcome fear and anxiety, reach out and request a complimentary consultation. Go to TedMoreno.com/contact., send an email and Ted will get back to you within 48 hours. You’ll have a conversation to see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching is right for you and if it is, you can get started with your first hypnotherapy session

 

7 Steps to Change Scarcity Consciousness to an Abundance Mindset – Episode 443

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Scarcity consciousness or a “lack” mentality is often the result of childhood programming and decisions that we make subconsciously. To shift into an abundance mindset requires an awareness of this programming and taking steps to counteract it and create a new way of looking at prosperity. In this episode, Ted shares his experience with having years of scarcity consciousness and how he managed to break out of it. He discusses the 7 steps he took to make it happen. If he can do it, you so can you.

In Deepak Chopra’s book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, he tells a story about the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the guy that founded Transcendental Meditation as well as the guy the Beatles hung out with in India.

The Maharishi wanted to organize a massive pilgrimage and attract hundreds of thousands of people to the event. However, the Maharishi was poor and didn’t have a lot of money. Nevertheless, he continued to plan for the event. One of his organizers, seeing the clear lack of financial resources, approached him. “Sir”, he said, “This is a noble effort, yet it is significant in size and cost. Where will the money come from?” The Maharishi replied, “From wherever it is now.

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Listen to this podcast episode now >

 

When I read this, I was blown away. Talk about faith. Talk about confidence. Talk about a totally different mindset from what most people have.

I don’t know too many people that have this kind of “abundance consciousness”. What seems much more common is “scarcity consciousness”: the feeling that there is not enough. What’s interesting is that this scarcity consciousness seems to have little to do with how much what we actually have.

Examining Scarcity Consciousness

Examining my own life, I’m able to identify some reasons for my own scarcity consciousness in the past. I wonder if any of you can relate.

There were 8 kids in my family, and until I was in the 6th grade my mom stayed at home while my dad worked at his own business. Dad spent a lot of time at work to support eight kids.

As a child, I could see that he was stressed out. It seemed to me that to own a business and try to make money was not a good thing, as it meant you would be stressed out and not be able to spend time with your kids.

I went to a Catholic grammar school and high school. In 12 years of my schooling, there was never any discussion of success, money, how to make it, what to do with it, or why we should even care. In fact, the message I received was quite the opposite: money is the root of all evil, if you want money, you are greedy, and it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.

I entered college with no real goals and certainly no desire to make a lot of money. After slumming my way through college and eventually dropping out, I had a succession of in-home sales jobs which left me struggling financially and in debt.

I got a “real” job in a mall at a Things Remembered store, but got fired because I kept forgetting to turn on the revolving tower of key blanks. When I got into my car to drive home, my car wouldn’t start.

That night I found an ad in the employment section of the newspaper promising “High pay in a rock and roll atmosphere!”

To make a long story short, I took the job, (another in- home sales gig) started making a lot of money, gave my beater car away and bought a used Pontiac Fiero. After a few more months, I lent the Fiero to a friend, and started driving a Porsche. Then I found out that the owners of the company were con men. I quit the job, turned in the Porsche, got back the Fiero (payments were not kept up) and was struggling again. My girlfriend dumped me, I got evicted from my apartment, and my Fiero got repossessed. (Check out episode 439 of my podcast to get the full story.)

At that point, (1987, 27 years old) I remember making five decisions which would reinforce whatever scarcity consciousness I had and impact my life for more than a decade:

· To aspire to make a lot of money means you must cheat people.

· It’s better to be poor (maybe I’ll become a monk…)

· I never want to own a business.

· I never want to get married or have kids.

· I never want to own a house.

In the years that followed, I struggled constantly with a lack of money, but I also did a lot of work on my own personal self development. Somehow, in spite of those experiences and decisions, from 2003 to 2009 I managed to start a business, get married, have kids and buy a house. I had let go of a lot of my scarcity consciousness.

What changed? Here’s what I did:

1. I created desire. I wanted more. I said “I’m tired of being poor.” I started writing down goals. I began to create in my mind what I wanted. Instead of looking at people that had more than me with resentment and envy, I started to ask myself, how can I do that? 2. I started studying the principles of success. I started reading books like Think and Grow Rich, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, and Busting Loose from the Money Game. I started listening to audio recordings by Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Deepak Chopra, Bob Proctor, Jim Rohn. I started learning.

3. I started to talk to myself differently. I stopped calling myself names. I stopped complaining. I stopped being so negative and tried to be more positive. I would say affirmations first thing in the morning and late thing at night. I stopped saying things like I’m broke, I can’t afford it, I have no money. I started to reprogram my mind for abundance by changing what I said in my head and out loud.

4. I started taking better care of myself. I started eating better. I had always put the credit card companies, rent, and car payment first before I bought groceries. I changed that and started buying good food and having food in my fridge. This made such a huge difference. I took myself out occasionally for dinner or lunch at a nice place and that made me feel abundant. Interestingly, I started taking better care of my stuff too, like my car and my apartment.

5. I started to donate money. I figured that I had enough money to donate 15 bucks a month to a children’s charity. That made me feel good. As I looked at how other people in the world lived with much less than me, this made me feel like I was making a difference in the world. It made me feel that I had enough money that I could give some away. This was a game changer.

6. I started seeing myself as abundant. I stopped seeing myself as a broke college kid and started seeing myself as already possessing abundance. I saw a quote recently that said “If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your body, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you’re richer than 75% of the entire world.” It appears that all things being equal, this is true for the most part. Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I started to focus on what I had and how I make my life better.

7. Gratitude. You knew this was coming didn’t you? I became grateful for everything and started affirming how grateful I was daily. Not only for what I had as far as material possessions, which were meager, but for my family, for my health, for the beauty in the world, for my friends, for the good times, and for my life.

But the effects of subconscious programming run deep and exist at a level most of us are not aware of. I’ve become aware that I still have work to do to counteract the negative programming of my early years.

I can’t blame anyone or anything for whatever scarcity consciousness I created for myself. I continue to read, study, do affirmations, seminars, self-reflection, self-hypnosis and a lot of hard work to create a higher level of “abundance consciousness”.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

If you have a lack mentality or scarcity consciousness and you are aware of that, you can do something about it. If you need help, request a free complimentary consultation with me by going to TedMoreno.com/contact. We’ll talk and see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching is the right path for you.