Remember What You Don’t Want to Think About: Memento Mori – Episode 462

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Life is short and done too soon. You think you have all the time in the world, but you don’t. While you worry about the future and wish for the past, the river of your life flows through you unnoticed. Memento Mori is Latin for Remember You Will Die. Does that depress you? Scare you? If we can move past our fear of this inescapable fact, we can see life in front of us as precious, magnificent and something to be lived fully and mindfully. In this episode, Ted discusses how the fact of our mortality can keep us awake and present to life happening here, now, in all its glory and brevity.

 

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I went for a long walk this morning. It was a beautiful morning, cool with a nice breeze, the air was fresh and the view of the San Gabriel Mountains near my home was clear and just so beautiful.  

I just celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary, I’ve got a kid in college now and one ready to graduate high school. I’m 64 years old.  

I guess the change in seasons happening now and the feel of winter on the doorstep made me feel a bit pensive. I started thinking back over my life. Thinking about my young years growing up in Southern California, my 20 years living and figuring it out in Tucson Arizona, and coming back to So Cal 24 years ago, to get married, raise a family, start a hypnotherapy practice and watch me and those that I love, get older and for some, pass on.  

Then I realized that tomorrow, November 2nd is All Soul’s Day, the day when Christians pray for and remember those who have passed. I thought about my brother who passed a year ago.  

I thought back to all the people I’ve known, all the things that I’ve done and seen, all the places I’ve been and everything I’ve been through, both good and bad.  

I really felt that sense of how quickly life passes by. If you are in your 40s or older, you know that feeling. 

Four years ago when my youngest daughter graduated from the eighth grade, she said “Dad, middle school went by so fast.” 

And I wanted to tell her that it just goes by faster and faster but I didn’t tell her because she’ll experience it herself.  

The singer Neil Diamond released a song in 1970 called “Done Too Soon”. That brings us to the title of today’s podcast “Remember What You Don’t Want to Think About: Memento Mori.  

Memento Mori is Latin for “Remember that you will die.” 

Having trouble grappling with the idea of your mortality? Are you fearful of the future and the changes it will bring?. Reach out to Ted for a complimentary half hour consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can get all your questions answered, find out how hypnotherapy can help you, and if you are ready, schedule your first appointment.

 

How To Keep From Becoming A Zombie – Episode 461

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You’ve seen them out there. In line at the supermarket. In the car beside you on the freeway. Behind the counter at the store.  Looking back at you from the mirror. Zombies!  When you’re a Zombie you’re walking around but you’re essentially walking in your sleep.  You’re dead to anything other than your incessant mind chatter.  Life becomes boring and routine and you find yourself walking around saying “Brains! Brains! I need brains!”

In this episode, Ted discusses the tendency many of us have to go into a Zombie-like trance when we become overwhelmed. He also shares some important things you can do to keep from becoming like the walking dead. If you find yourself often walking around asking yourself, “How did I get here?” then listen to this amusing but helpful podcast episode.

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It’s close to Halloween, and people are already talking about what costume they’re going to wear. For a couple of days there will be a lot of ghosts, skeletons, goblins, witches and vampires walking around.

But regardless of what time of year it is, you can always count on there being Zombies.

You’ve seen them out there. In line at the supermarket. In the car beside you on the freeway. Behind the counter at the store. Looking back at you from the mirror. Zombies are everywhere: The walking dead!

One day last year I left my house running late for an appointment. I had several things on my mind. I was driving along and the next thing I knew, I had rear-ended a very nice Lexus. I had slipped into a Zombie state! It took the appearance of a police officer to snap me back from a downward Zombie spiral and bring me back from the brink of disaster.

It doesn’t take much these days to become Zombified. Not enough sleep, skipping meals, traffic, noise, too much to do and long days on the job can mush your mind until you find yourself aimlessly wandering around chanting “Brains! Brains I need brains!”

What is a Zombie? One definition is “An automaton: someone who acts or responds in a mechanical or apathetic way.” It can be easy to respond to life these days like an automaton, mindlessly going from activity to activity, lost somewhere in the maze of your own thoughts, not present to any wonder or miracles that might be happening right in front of you along with all the other stuff you need to pay attention to,

When you’re a Zombie you’re walking around but you’re essentially walking in your sleep. You’re dead to anything other than your incessant mind chatter. Life becomes boring and routine. At the end of the day, you can’t

remember anything you actually did, so you Zombie-out in front of the tube to watch, I don’t know…, Zombie Housewives.

Another definition of zombie is a human being who is being controlled by someone else by use of black magic. I can think of a long list of things that might fall under that category of black magic: the news media, social media, politicians, advertising, consumerism, and the hypnosis of the culture. But that kind of black magic can come from inside as well: guilt, obligation, obsession, compulsion, resentment, anger or depression.

We fall prey to this kind of control when we are overwhelmed. Overwhelm means that there’s too much stuff going in your head, too many conversations at the same time, too much to think about. Your brain, that God-given instrument of creation, instead becomes focused on obsessing and worrying about bad things that happened in the past or bad things you think might happen in the future.

When we become overwhelmed, we go into a trance state. We become suggestible to all the negativity going on around us or inside of us. So, we end up going around in circles, not creating our own life, but letting it be controlled by the environment. We can become dulled to life and its magnificence. We might wake up one day and say “Where did it all go? Where have I been?” Have you ever asked yourself “Well, how did I get here?”

One of his students asked the Buddha, “Are you the messiah?” “No”, answered the Buddha. “Then are you a healer?” “No”, the Buddha replied. “Then are you a teacher?” the student persisted. “No, I am not a teacher.” “Then what are you?” asked the student, exasperated. “I am awake”, the Buddha replied.

There is only one thing to do when you find yourself walking around in the Zombie Zone. Wake up! Reclaim your brain. Get present to your life.

Here are some guidelines to finding your way out of Zombieland.

· Mornings are really important as they set the tone for the rest of the day. For some folks, every morning is Dawn of the Dead, but here are two things you can do to change that up.

1. First, throw away that alarm clock with the same old buzzer or beeper. Why do you want to alarm yourself first thing in the morning? And for God’s sake, don’t start the day with ZNN. (Zombie News Network) Wake yourself up gently with some music or at least something inspirational.

2. Second, give yourself some time in the morning to just be. If you are prone to Zombification, you need to wake up not just physically but mentally and spiritually as well. Spend a few minutes just sitting, drinking your whatever, feeling your life, and creating your day before you move on to the next thing, which might be some stretching, walking or reading something inspiring.

· Extreme Self Care. Eat right, sleep well, get some exercise, you must be strong!

· Count yourself out. If you find yourself spacing out, you can break the spell by saying: “12345 Eyes open wide awake!” This will pull you out of the Zombie trance. This is something I teach my clients when they come in feeling like they are wandering around doing the Zombie Walk.

· Change your physical position. If you’re sitting and you find yourself going into the Zen of Zombie, stand up and walk around. If you’re standing, sit down and take a load off. If you’re not moving, walk. Get out of your head and into your body.

· Protect yourself with Mindfulness Moments. Have your cell phone or computer give you a reminder every hour to take a short break, a deep breath, or just a few moments to focus on something other than what you’re doing.

And of course, your phone is a useful tool, but your phone can become the Zombie disease itself. Why do you think they call it doom scrolling?

· Ask yourself “What’s happening here? Think, but think about what’s right in front of you: Oh, I’m listening to a podcast, cool! What’s always in front of you is your precious life.

With the coming of the holidays, especially Halloween, you can be sure there will be plenty of opportunities for the Zombie Zoo. Protect yourself and your brain! Be awake, be aware and pay attention!

Here’s the quote for today by Max Brooks who writes a lot about zombies including the Zombie Survival Guide

“That’s the thing about zombies. They don’t adapt and they don’t think. Literally, you could have a zombie on one side of a chain link fence and you could be on the other side and they could be trying to get to you and six feet down could be an open door and they will not go through that door in the fence. That’s why they’re so scary.”

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Do you feel like you are spending too much time in Zombieland, wandering aimlessly and not getting anything done? Reach out to Ted for a complimentary half hour consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can get all your questions answered, find out how hypnotherapy can help you, and if you are ready, schedule your first appointment.

What About The Voice in Your Head?- Episode 460

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You have a Voice in your head. You probably know this. If you don’t, you should.

You might be thinking: “What voice? What is he talking about? I don’t have a voice. Maybe he has a voice in his head, but I certainly do not have one in mine!” Well, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s OK, we all have a voice in our head. The question is: What is that voice doing for you? Is it encouraging or discouraging? Is it positive or negative?
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Photo by Stephen Huber

Is it really your voice or the voice of someone else? In this episode, Ted discusses the consequences of our inner voice, or self-talk, how to see it for what it is, be aware of how it impacts us, and how to begin to change it. If the voice in your head is telling you that this episode doesn’t pertain to you, then don’t listen to the voice, listen to this episode instead.

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What I do as a hypnotherapist is I help people change thoughts, feelings and behaviors that don’t serve them, such as anxiety and depression and behaviors such as procrastination and smoking, for example.

The idea is that a lot of what goes on in your mind that doesn’t serve you is because of your subconscious programming. In other words, the things your mind learned that don’t serve you any longer. That’s what I help people change.

We’ve been programmed in a lot of ways that might not necessarily serve or benefit us. Some of this programming came from other people, but some also came from us! From beliefs we formed a long time ago, from decisions we made during times of stress or trauma, and from things we saw or heard that we believed were true. Most of this happens before you’re around 8 or 9 years old, but it can happen after that as well.

So the question is, how can we be aware of this programming and how can we start to change it?

That leads us to the topic of todays’ podcast.

I recently ordered some copies of my book from Amazon. It’s called The Ultimate Guide to Letting go of Negativity and Fear and Loving Life. You can get it on Amazon. Anyway, I was leafing through it and I came across this chapter “ What About That Voice in Your Head?” And I thought that this is such an important topic and I should revisit it.

This chapter started as a blog post back in 2007. Then I turned it into a podcast topic for podcast number 4. Today’s is number 460.

What about the voice in your head?

You have a Voice in your head. You probably know this. If you don’t, you should.

You might be thinking: “What voice? What is he talking about? I don’t have a voice. Maybe he has a voice in his head, but I certainly do not have one in mine.” Well, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s OK, we all have the Voice in our head. Maybe more than one.

This voice in your head goes by many names. Thinking, Monkey Mind, Internal Chatter, Running Commentary, Self Talk. This voice allows us to make sense of our world. We judge, we analyze, we compare. We search for meaning, patterns, relationships. What most people call this voice is Me. I. Myself.

The important thing to remember here is that the voice in your head is not you, it’s a tool that you use. Just like a hammer is a tool but it’s not you.

But here’s the problem: we think the voice is who we are. Consequently, we believe everything the voice says. Like that t shirt that says,

I just do what the voices tell me to do.

Did you ever have the experience of saying something out loud, and then you thought to yourself “That is totally something my (mother, father) would say.” Was that your voice? Or is it your mother or father’s voice? (or grandmother, grandfather, teacher, coach, etc.) How much of the voice in your head is really your own? How much of the voice in your head is the voice of someone else?

In my hypnotherapy practice, I call this self talk. One of the first questions I ask my hypnotherapy clients is “What does your self-talk sound like? What does the voice in your head say to you most of the time?” And most importantly: “Is your self-talk serving you?”

Think about it: is the voice in your head supportive? Encouraging? Or, is it discouraging?
Have you ever heard the voice say:

· I am no good at _____
· I’m a failure
· I’ll never be able to ___
· I’m such an idiot.
· I hate looking at myself in the mirror.

To some extent we’ve all said those things. But if this type of self-talk dominates your life, then that can be a problem.

One of the most difficult things for us as modern humans is to get some distance from the voice so that we can observe it. But that’s how we can begin to change it.

That’s why practices like meditation can be so valuable. When we meditate, we set time aside so that we can step back and observe the voice in our heads.

Why is that a good thing? Because most of us are slaves to the voice in our heads. Until we can observe the voice with some kind of detachment, it will rule us.

Do you want more freedom from unwanted thoughts? More piece of mind? Try this: throughout the day, ask yourself the following question:

· What’s happening in my mind right now?
· What am I thinking now?
· How do these thoughts make me feel?

It’s called self inquiry and it’s powerful.

Realize that you create your reality using the voice in your head, with your thinking: thought by thought, sentence by sentence. We end up believing in the reality we create with our thoughts, and we act from these beliefs.

Now this idea of our thoughts not being who we are is a very ancient idea. This line of inquiry can be quite complex, ranging from the deeply philosophical to the obvious and mundane.

On the one hand, there is the concept of the ego and the question of “Who am I?”, one of the big questions of human existence. On the other hand, for most of us, there’s the awareness that there are habitual patterns of thinking that are at the very least self- limiting, if not self-defeating.

A seventeenth century philosopher by the name of Descarte is famous for the statement “I think therefore I am” (Cogito ergo sum), which he saw as a primary truth. Three hundred years later, another famous philosopher, Jean Paul Sartre, realized that when you are aware that you are thinking, that awareness is not part of thinking. These concepts are discussed in depth in two books that I highly recommend, “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” both by Eckhart Tolle

For our purposes, let us assume for a second that who you are is not your thoughts. Consider that who you really are is the thinker of your thoughts. That is, who you are is the awareness that you are thinking or that you have a thought. Stay with me for a second here, OK? See, the problem that plagues most of us modern humans is that we really believe that who we are is our thoughts such as:

· I am no good at this..

· I am good at this..

· This is who I am..

· This is who I am not…

Who we think we are and what we say we are, we can call our story. Each of us has a story about who we are. Consider that for the most part, this story is not real, it is invented by us or maybe, inherited.

Consider the two statements:

· My business failed.

· I am a failure.

The first is a statement of fact, that is, what happened. The second is a story about what happened, an interpretation. We can agree that not everyone who has had a business fail is a failure.

One of the most important skills that we can learn to develop is to be able to make the distinction between who we are and what we think , and to understand that most ( if not all) of our thoughts are interpretations (stories) of events, and may have little to do with what’s going on out there.

The reason you want to learn that skill is so that you can have some detachment from you thoughts so that we can observe them and change them if they are not working for you.

Now you might be thinking “Geez Ted, enough already with this psychobabble!”

Here’s the thing you need to get. If you want to get what you want, whatever that is, you need to identify the story the voice in your head is telling you about why you can’t have it. If you can’t identify those limiting thoughts and beliefs, forever will they dominate your destiny.

We believe the voice in our head and most of the time we do what it tells us to do. The Buddha said we become what we think about. Once you have an awareness of those patterns of thinking that are self-limiting, self-defeating, or self-destructive then you can start to change them.

It’s not easy because our tendency is to identify with our thinking. We can become so attached to what we think and believe that we will even defend our beliefs to the point of killing someone who disagrees. Some people say it’s our nature to be violent. But, because of our capacity to be aware of our thinking and change it, we can change our nature.

Take this example from I client I worked with: He was a single young man with friends who liked to hike and would often invite him to join them. He would politely decline, saying that he has no interest in hiking and doesn’t hike. Although he would never say it to his friends, he considers hiking a waste of time, and not very safe, because
there’s wild animals and insects, waste of time, and not very safe, because there’s wild animals and insects, dangerous terrain, and sometimes dangerous humans. He won’t admit to being afraid but doesn’t see it as a practical and worthwhile recreational activity. He feels more comfortable staying home reading a good book.

One day the young man met a young woman he was attracted to. They went out on a date, and she told him that she likes to hike. The young man didn’t reveal his feelings about hiking, because he wanted to continue seeing her and felt that his chances were better if he kept his mouth shut. But she immediately suggested that they go hiking together and before he can object, a date is set.

In spite of his indifference to hiking, he goes along to get along. They go on their hike, and after a while they come to a pleasant spot in the forest. She pulls a blanket out of her backpack, along with a nice bottle of wine and some crackers and cheese. He is impatient to start back and finish the hike when a book she is reading falls out of her backpack, and the young man sees it’s a book that he has read and feels quite passionate about. They spent the next hour picnicking and discussing the book.

At the end of the day, the young man reflected back on his experience and decided that for the most part, he enjoyed himself and would do it again even though he would rather go to a park than for a hike. At this point, he started to wonder to himself “Why do I dislike hiking?’

Now he has detachment from the thought “I don’t like to hike” and begins to see this statement not as truth, but as a story he has been telling himself for some time, since he has no real experience with hiking.

And then he remembers a time when he asked his dad if he could join the Boy Scouts, and his dad said “The Boy Scouts do a lot of hiking and I don’t think that it’s safe to be hiking around out there where someone could get hurt or bit by a snake or an animal. Besides, it’s a waste of time when you could be doing your homework or reading a book.”

The young man realized that his story about not liking hiking was given to him, he inherited it. Therefore, the “voice” he had believed in for all these years was not even his own, it was the voice of his father. He now considers that maybe he can like hiking, if he can tell a different story about it.

Let me ask you: How much of what you think most of the time is just programming? Remember it’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s what you think about what happens to you that will determine your course of action or inaction, effectiveness or ineffectiveness. What you think about what happens to you is your interpretation or story. This interpretation is in a large part determined by your past experiences, culture, upbringing, religious beliefs, education, as well as your current peer group.

As a hypnotherapist I help my clients to be aware of and identify stories that they hold as beliefs, that are holding them back from what they want to have, be, or do.

I help them to see that since these stories are inventions maintained by the “voice”, that they are free any time to choose or invent a new story. It’s all made up. So hopefully, they can make one up that is empowering, encouraging, and inspiring. I help them instill these new beliefs using the power of suggestion through hypnosis.

In closing, let me leave you with this: ultimately, whether your thoughts about yourself are true or not is irrelevant. What matters is: what does your thinking do for you? Move you forward or hold you back? Give you joy or despair? Help you to love or disconnect you from loving? Help you grow or keep you stuck? You have a choice as to what to think and believe about anything.

Choose wisely. For this week, observe and listen to the voice in your head, but don’t believe you believe a word of it. If you notice that the voice is saying stuff that is not helpful, then practice a new voice using positive affirmations.

Here is the quote for today’s episode:

The voice in your head is like a wild horse taking you wherever it wants to go…When the voice in your head finally stops talking, you experience inner peace.   ~Miguel Angel Ruiz, author of the Four Agreements.

Thanks so much for reading this, Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Are you aware that the voice in your head is holding you back, stopping you and making you feel bad? If so, it’s time for Ted in your head. Reach out to Ted for a complimentary half hour consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can get all your questions answered, find out how hypnotherapy can help you, and if you are ready, schedule your first appointment.

 

Ted in Your Head Interview: Paul Hermelin, Certified EFT Practitioner -Episode 459

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In this episode of the Ted in Your Head podcast, Ted interviews Paul J. Hermelin, who is a certified Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Practitioner. Paul teaches people how to manage their stress by “tapping” on select acupoints located on the hands, face and upper body, which send electrical impulses through the nervous system to the part of the brain that regulates the body’s stress response. Paul also applies clinical EFT, which combines elements of acupressure, CBT, and exposure therapy, for those clients who want to reduce the intensity of strong, negative emotions or troubling thoughts related to unpleasant memories or difficult moments from their past. If you aren’t familiar with EFT or even if you are, and you want to take a deep dive into it with an expert, Paul Hermelin is your guy.
Check out this fascinating episode!

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Paul works with clients across the state of California through video chat (Zoom), and also sees clients in person at his Sierra Madre, CA office. He offers a free, 20-minute online consultation and can be reached either by email at [email protected] or by phone or text at (626) 660-7942.

His website is https://eftforauthenticliving.com/.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eftforauthenticliving/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@eftforauthenticliving

Time to start overcoming your challenges and limitations using EFT and hypnotherapy?  Reach out to Ted for a complimentary consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can talk to Ted and find out if hypnotherapy and coaching is right for you.

10 Reasons Why You Might Benefit from Therapy – Episode 458

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Let me tell you right off that I have a great job. I love my job. People come to me with all sorts of challenges including challenges with their families, work, health, and emotions. Through our work together, I get to see them overcome their challenges and gain more confidence, self esteem, emotional strength, adaptability, and greater health and happiness.

For many of the people who come to see me, healing often comes from just showing up and having that space of unconditional positive regard where they can be honest and vulnerable and be heard.

What can be sad, I think, is to hear from many of my clients that they have family members or friends that are really struggling with various life challenges but, are not open to talking to anybody about it. They’re simply not open to therapy for one reason or another.

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And I get it. It’s not the most comfortable thing to sit in front of someone else, much less a stranger, and tell them about your problems. There are a lot of people that are very private. Others feel that they can figure it out on their own and maybe they do or maybe they don’t.

Many others are so filled with shame that they cannot bring themselves to reveal to someone else the burden of their painful feelings.

Some people have not had good experiences with therapists or therapy and have decided that it’s not for them. The very first therapist I had was always struggling to stay awake during our appt time which started at 8 am. If I had let that stop me from going to therapy, I wouldn’t have had the benefit from seeing several really good therapists after that.

Truth be told, therapy is not for everyone. However, just like most people can benefit from a regular program of physical exercise, I strongly feel that most people can benefit from psychotherapy, hypnotherapy or any type of counseling from a trusted provider.

We spend some much of our time on supplements, dieting, new and interesting ways to work out or exercise, new equipment, and various ways to make our bodies look different, better, or more interesting.

However, I think we can agree that we are suffering from a mental health crisis in our country, in part because of the stigma surrounding seeking support in a therapeutic environment. For our overall health and the health of our loved ones and fellow citizens, this needs to change. We must put more time, effort and energy into our mental health and therapy is only one good way to start.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month so in this episode, I’d like to share with you the top 10 reasons why you might benefit from therapy and why you should consider it.

1. First and foremost is Emotional Support.  A good therapist provides a safe space to express feelings and experiences without judgment. The English poet John Donne wrote in 1624 the famous line “No man is an island”. The line is often interpreted to mean that people are not totally self-sufficient, and we must rely on others. It also expresses the idea that people do better when they are part of a community. To unburden yourself of your thoughts, feelings and emotions and really be heard is liberating and incredibly empowering. We all need emotional support but it’s understandable that we may not want to share certain things with friends or relatives. A good therapist is there to listen, support and encourage and it feels good to have someone that you feel cares about you and wants to help.

2. Coping Strategies: Life is hard, sometimes really hard. As human beings we will experience stress, anxiety, depression, grief, loss and situations that we don’t know how to deal with. Therapy can help you develop effective coping mechanisms during these difficult times. I was working with a young man who was on the edge of feeling suicidal. His brother had died recently. He stayed in his room all day playing video games. I suggested that he eat three meals a day and get better sleep. My suggestion that he do these two simple things made him feel better immediately and helped him to better cope with his grief. There are so many times when I suggested different coping strategies to

clients to hear them say to me “Hmmm I never thought of that” and then to use those strategies to feel better.

3. Self-Understanding is another benefit of therapy: Talking out loud about what is stopping you from happiness, health and success allows you to examine what might be holding you back. We are unable to see ourselves objectively and we all have blind spots to our own motivations, desires and dysfunctional behaviors. Seeing a therapist can offer insight into your thoughts, behaviors, and patterns, helping you understand yourself better. The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates believed that “know thyself” was the first step to true wisdom.

4. One of the most common reasons people seek therapy it to Improve their Relationships: Being in relationship with anybody is never always easy and often, fraught with difficulties. The more intimate the relationship, the more difficulties there can be. I believe that the quality of our lives is in a large part determined by the quality of our relationships. It’s very difficult to be happy and successful if one’s marriage is in danger of failing or if you can’t stand being in the same room as your mother or father or siblings. One of the things we can learn in therapy is how to respond rather than react and how to have better communication skills that help us navigate personal relationships more effectively.

5. Goal Setting: A therapist can assist you in setting and achieving personal or professional goals including the basics of better health, doing better at work and being better at home. The truth is that most folks don’t set goals at all. Being as how you can’t hit a target that you can’t see, goal setting in some form is essential for accomplishing what you need to accomplish to get what you want from life.

6. Trauma Processing: If you’ve experienced trauma, and many of us have, therapy can help you process and heal from those experiences. When we’ve had traumatic experiences, we tend to repress them, not think about them and not deal with them. But to heal, we must be willing to be with that wounded part of ourselves and give it the attention and care that it needs.

7. Mental Health Management: Regular therapy sessions can help people manage chronic mental health conditions and maintain stability. Just like going to the medical doctor for an illness or accident or disease, a good therapist can be invaluable in helping people to manage illnesses of the mind, sometimes with the help of medication but oftentimes not. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 20% of Americans are living with a mental illness. That’s 57 million Americans as of 2021.

8. Life Transitions: A job change or loss, a move to a different city, a personal loss, divorce, or retirement are all examples of life transitions that can be overwhelming and confusing. Therapy can provide support during major life transitions and provide strategies, ideas and possibilities and resources that you might not find on your own. Life transitions are just a lot easier with support from family, friends and therapy.

9. Increased Resilience: We want to learn to be able to bounce back from hard times. We want to get better at dealing with life and its ups and downs. Therapy can help people gain greater confidence and trust in themselves so that they can overcome challenges more effectively and not be stopped or brought down for too long.

10. Accountability: Having someone to talk to can encourage and motivate you to stay committed to your personal growth and self-improvement. You get to have an accountability partner who will ask you “What did you do this week to move yourself forward?” Don’t underestimate the value of being held accountable even though it’s easier not to be.

In closing, therapy doesn’t need to last months or years even though it can. For some people, 3 or 4 sessions with a therapist can be illuminating and helpful. I see clients anywhere from 1 session to clients I’ve been once a month for 10 years. It all depends on what you need and want to accomplish.

I’m a hypnotherapist. I’m not a psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist. I’m not a doctor. There are certain issues that I am not qualified to work with and will refer my clients with those issues to people that are qualified.

I do a lot of work with anxiety, sleep issues and getting rid of bad habits and I’ve been doing this for 20 years and I’m still learning, both about myself and how best to help others.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

Thinking about hypnotherapy as a solution for your current struggles?  Reach out to Ted for a complimentary consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can talk to Ted and find out if hypnotherapy and coaching is right for you.

What Do We do With FEAR? Episode 457

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Does FEAR stand for Forget Everything And Run? Maybe a better acronym would be False Evidence Appearing Real because most of our fear is self-created. There are appropriate times for fear, such as the fear of falling or if there is suddenly a loud noise or we find a snake in our path. But most of us, on a daily basis, don’t really find ourselves facing things that are truly dangerous.

We want to get a handle on our fear because fear is the biggest thing that will stop us from living a life worth living. In this episode, Ted talks about what is real and what is imagined when it come to fear. Hopefully, after listening to this episode, FEAR will stand for Face Everything and Rise.

Listen to this podcast episode now:

Let’s talk about fear. It’s a big subject, so we’re not going to do a real deep dive, although I may do a series on the topic of fear. First, let’s make a distinction between two different types of fear.

A few years back, I was a guide on a river trip down in the Grand Canyon. Some of the other more experienced guides asked me If I wanted to do something really cool. I said sure. They took me on a hike which eventually turned into a climb up a very steep canyon wall. I was terrified, but I couldn’t turn back because I didn’t know the way back. We made it to the top of the canyon wall but to this day I remember the almost paralyzing fear I had while climbing what surely must’ve been 60 to 70 feet up a canyon wall.

Several years later, I was sitting in my office balancing my checkbook. It wasn’t looking like I wanted it to look. I felt a huge crushing fear that I was not going to be able to meet my obligations. I started to imagine all the bad things that would happen. Everything turned out ok, though.

These are two different types of fear, on is a very real fear of falling, the other fear was more a result of my imagination and didn’t really have much substance.

Of course, as a hypnotherapist, most of the people that come to me are dealing with some level of fear that is stopping them from feeling what they want to feel and doing what they want to do.

The most important thing to understand about fear is that most of our fear is self-created. I would suggest to you that most of our fear comes from imagined projections into the future about what we think might happen, much of which doesn’t happen. However, because our minds can’t distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined, we have the same fearful reaction to our imagined projections that we would have if they really happened.

There are appropriate times for fear, such as the fear of falling or if there is suddenly a loud noise or we find a snake in our path. But most of us, on a daily basis, don’t really find ourselves facing things that are truly dangerous.

So we want to get a handle on our fear because fear is the biggest thing that will stop us from living a life worth living.

I like the acronym for FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. We all have the tendency to react to something and make it more than what it is. For instance, we’ll read something in the news, and project into the future dire predictions of what we think will happen when so and so gets elected or this party comes into power or or the economy does this or that. A

lot of this is out of our control, but I think that it’s important to mention here that many media outlets, pundits and talking heads use fear purposely to attract consumers to news outlets.

Or we’ll see some challenge or obstacle in front of us and will immediately start thinking about what will go wrong, how hard it will be, or how badly we will screw it up. When it comes to things that are fearful, we really do seem to focus not on what’s there in front of us, but what we think will happen in the future. And usually, it’s not the best-case scenario. Part of the reason for this is that our minds do not like uncertainty, we want to know what is coming; this is a sort of protective mechanism that prompts us to prepare. Preparation is good, but being paralyzed by fear is not.

Some people think they need to be afraid or anxious to ensure the outcome they want. They think that somehow, worrying and fretting and feeling fearful will keep the bad stuff away. Not only is that not true, but it’s not an effective way to achieve the outcome you want.

What if, when confronted by a challenge, we could imagine the best-case scenario and be inspired to take effective action? If our mind is clear, and our intention is strong, we can prepare, take action, and increase the chances of getting the outcome we desire.

Remember what Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in his first inaugural address, said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

The idea here is to not allow what does not yet exist to suck us into the vortex of fear. Fear can be debilitating. Fear can stop us from taking action. We can allow fear to cloud our judgement and rob us of our power. And as I’ve already mentioned, most of the time, what we fear will never take place.

So, what do we do with fear? We will be afraid, no doubt about it. It’s a normal human emotion and sometimes fear will get the best of us. But I think we can strive to be better in the face of fear.

To do that, we start by acknowledging that we are afraid. Hiding from it, distracting from it, or suppressing it just makes it worse.

We will face challenges that we don’t feel we are prepared for. We will fear for our loved ones, our jobs, our safety and security. I addition, we will have the tendency to look into the future and imagine things that are scary or that we don’t want to happen.

What we want to get good at is being clear about what is real and what is fiction. This might sound like saying to yourself “I feel fear, but right now, in this moment, there is nothing to be afraid of except my own thinking. What thoughts can I think that will give me confidence, courage, and allow me to take effective action in the face of this feeling of fear?

What do we do to not be afraid of fear? We allow it to surface, acknowledge that it’s there, talk to someone about it, ask for help, then deal with it while continuing to move forward. The key here is not hiding from it, not avoiding it, not going around it but instead, going through it. It takes practice, but the key is to allow yourself to feel it without making it mean more than it really is. And what it really is, most of the time, is a feeling that will pass if we can be present and deal with it powerfully. I’ll be writing a lot more about fear as I explore this very real and unavoidable aspect of life.

Are you being challenged or being stopped by fear? Do you want to do something about it? Reach out to Ted for a complimentary consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can talk to Ted and find out if hypnotherapy and coaching is right for you.

Today’s quote is by Zig Ziglar:

“F-E-A-R has two meanings:

‘Forget Everything and Run,’ or, ‘Face Everything and Rise.’

The choice is yours.”

Thanks for reading and be courageous!

Ted

You Have a Lot to Offer, Why Are You Hiding Out? – Episode 456

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We all have something to offer our families, jobs and communities. But if we don’t believe this, then we will hide out and not even try. We’ll hide our light under a basket so that no one gets to benefit from it.

It’s a tragedy, that so many of us discount our value, invalidate our worth, and hide our brilliance and contribution from the world. But what if we truly adopted and cultivated the belief that we are here for a reason? That we are here to make a contribution that no one else on the planet can make in the same way? In this episode, Ted explores the question of why so many of us hide our greatness.

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

I had a job when I was at the university of Arizona at the cookie counter in one of the student union restaurants called the Fiddley Fig (if you can believe it), baking cookies and selling them. I worked with Heather, a young student who was grouchy a lot of the time. Yet, she was wonderful with the customers. She made them laugh and talked them up, but as soon as they were gone, she’d go back to being grouchy. One day, I was sitting in the restaurant taking a lunch break when a woman passed me who had just bought some cookies and knew I worked there. She looked at me and said, “I sure do love that girl that works at the counter, she’s so wonderful.”

So, when I got back from my lunch break, I told Heather what the lady said. She scowled and said she didn’t believe me and then called me a word starting with A and ending with hole.

The next day, as I was coming into work, I saw the same lady who bought the cookies the day before. I stopped her and I told her that Heather didn’t believe me when I related to her what the lady had said. I asked her if she would salvage my integrity and tell Heather what she had told me. A few minutes later, as I started my shift, the lady came up to buy some cookies, and said to Heather “I just wanted to let know that I really did tell your co-worker that I think you are wonderful, and you have such a great smile and I love coming here and buying cookies from you!” Heather mumbled a thank you, and after the lady left, she asked to take a break. As she walked out of the cookie counter, I could see that she was crying a bit.

Heather changed that day. She continued to be great with the customers, but from that day on, she became a lot more pleasant to us and a lot less surly and grouchy. In fact, she started taking better care of herself and her appearance. I guess she just needed someone to tell her that she had something to offer.

While I was attending my all-boy’s high school, I was kind of shy around women. One day I was talking to a girl that I knew and was comfortable with.

We started talking about one of her friends and I happened to mention that I liked her friend and that I wished I could go talk to her. She asked me why I didn’t. I said that I wasn’t very good at talking to girls and that I would embarrass myself.

She tilted her head to one side and looked right at me and said “That’s not true at all. You are a great conversationalist. Not only that but you are respectful and not boastful or obnoxious. I find it very pleasant to speak with you.”

No one had ever told me that before. Because of my belief that I wasn’t good at talking to girls, I was always hiding out in some corner at the dance. After that day, I changed a bit as well.

One of the ways that I changed is that I always looked for an opportunity to point out to people the things I liked about them, and the things they had to offer. I saw the impact that these kind words had had on Heather and me, and so I wanted my words to have the same impact on others. And often, when I would tell people how cool or wonderful or awesome I thought they were, if they didn’t look at me like I was crazy, they would tear up just a bit.

In my hypnotherapy practice, I’ll often ask my clients to tell me what is great about them. Some simply can’t come up with anything and others start to cry. What is it about acknowledging what we bring to the table that is so triggering for so many people?

Of course, it’s the programming: what we were told by ourselves and others when we were young sent the message that we were somehow deficient or lacking or not enough.

I believe that we all have something to offer our families, jobs and communities. But if we don’t believe this, then we will hide out and not even try. To use a Biblical reference, we’ll hide our light under a bushel basket so that no one gets to benefit from it.

What if we truly adopted and cultivated the belief that we are here for a reason? That we are here to make a contribution that no one else on the planet can make in the same way? Everyone seems to think these days that if

you’re not a big deal on social media or some kind of influencer on Tik Tok then you’re nothing.

There is always an opportunity to make a difference in big and small ways.

It’s a tragedy really, that so many of us discount our value, invalidate our worth, and hide our brilliance and contribution from the world. The bigger tragedy, of course, is that we are all deprived of the fullness that each of us can offer.

When I started my practice in 2003, I was earnest and enthusiastic about the idea of transformation and how I was going to help so many people. But the reality is that change is hard. It takes commitment and work. I have at times found myself cynical and resigned regarding the ability of people to change. There have been many times when I was socializing with people outside of work, and someone would be talking about a challenge or problem that they were dealing with, and instead of giving a suggestion or giving them something to think about, or even just suggesting a book or resource, I just sat there nodding my head.

I’m careful about coming across as a know it all, or offering unsolicited advice, but I could have said something that might have made a difference, even if there was pushback such as was the case with my experience with Heather. After all, I’ve been working with clients for 20 years as a hypnotherapist and coach in private practice. Why would I hide out and not offer something that might be helpful, at the very least to see if they were receptive?

I think part of the reason is that we seem so scared now to speak up. We’re so concerned about offending someone because so many people are looking for offence. We’re so hunkered down in our own little opinion bubbles, and the last thing we want to do is start an argument. We’re all so proud and stubborn and walled off, it seems to me. Many of us have become cynical and resigned, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Maybe you’re someone who is out there doing good work and making a great impact and doing everything you can do. Good for you. Maybe you’re someone

who really isn’t interested in offering anything to anybody and all you want to do is keep your head down and be ok with hiding out. Hey, I get it, that’s your choice and we all get to live the way we want to live.

But maybe, just maybe, you know that you can do more, offer more and give more. Maybe you know that you are hiding out and that bothers you because it’s unfulfilling. I believe that there is pattern, flow and purpose in life that needs to express itself through us just as an oak tree is expressed from an acorn. It’s built into us and if we feel it but try to stop it or hide from it, we get stunted in our growth.

So, if you know you have a lot to offer but you also know that to some extent you’re hiding out, then here is what I suggest:

Take an inventory of your talents, skills and abilities. Write them down and get clear about what you can offer to the world.

I’ve been playing guitar and singing since I was in grade school. Recently I was asked to bring my guitar to a family reunion. I played songs that I’ve been playing for my family for years. People loved it and were so happy and joyful to hear and sing along with all the old songs. I’d forgotten how much it mattered to my family to play music and sing. It made me happy to do it.

Look at your family, job or community. Is there a need for what you have? Is there a fit? Can you offer your time or skill or volunteer? Can you provide a contribution and be part of the solution? Do you see something that can be made better or fixed and you know you can fix it? Don’t give up just because someone pooh-poohs your idea. Don’t get pissed off or resentful. You can’t change everything. But what can you change? Start with yourself.

Look at what’s holding you back? Is there fear? Of course there is. Has there been rejection in the past? Are you feeling cynical and resigned? How can you get over it?

It’s risky, I know. You might not do it right, they might not like it, it might be too much hassle or work, or it might not be worth the time and trouble to come out of hiding. I get it. But what if you did do it right? What if they did like it?

What if the hassle or work or time or trouble was worth the feeling that you are doing something that matters? I mean, what else is there?

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

If this is something you want to explore in the context of hypnotherapy and coaching, request a complimentary consultation at https://tedmoreno.com.  We’ll talk and see what’s up and how we can work together.

Here’s a quote I’m sure you’ve heard before and it is truly one of the most powerful quotes I have ever heard.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

That’s Marianne Williamson.

Thanks for reading and take care.

Ted

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Get Free from the Shackles of Shame – Episode 455

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Shame. Say the word out loud and feel its intense power. The root of the word shame is thought to come from an older word meaning to cover, as in covering oneself. When we feel shame, we cover ourselves, literally and figuratively. We want to hide from ourselves and others. The lengths we will go to cover and hide our shame can keep us from ever fully living life. It is hard to be happy, healthy and feel peaceful while carrying the ball and chain of shame. In this episode, Ted discusses what shame is, how we can tell if we are impacted by shame, and what we can do about it. If you feel that you are tied up and a prisoner of shame, listen to this episode.

Listen to this podcast episode now:

Shame. Say the word out loud and feel its intense power.

The root of the word shame is thought to come from an older word meaning to cover, as in covering oneself. When we feel shame, we cover ourselves, literally and figuratively. We want to hide from ourselves and others.

Eve was said to cover herself in the Garden of Eden when she realized she was naked. She became ashamed of her natural physical form, the essence of her human-ess. It seems to me that many of us are ashamed of our humanness, either because we are taught that we are essentially flawed, or because we have seen too many of our flaws operate in our lives as in our mistakes, failures and screwups.

When we are shamed as children, we are uncovered, and our error is exposed; “Shame on you!” or “You should be ashamed of yourself.” Yet, like Eve, as children we are often shamed for what is natural to us, i.e picking our nose, touching ourselves, or hitting our siblings because we know of no other way to express our frustration and anger.

The effect of shame, either taken on by oneself or given to us by others, can be subtle but devastating and long lasting. We can end up repressing shame and stuffing it down so deep inside that it becomes covered even to ourselves. Yet, it’s still there, like a monster lurking in the depths.

Yet the impact of this hidden shame, like the word, is powerful. The lengths we will go to cover and hide our shame can keep us from ever fully living life. It is hard to be happy, healthy and feel peaceful while carrying the ball and chain of shame.

We can become shackled by the shame of who are or who we are not, what we do and what we don’t do, what we’ve done or what we failed to do, where we are in life or where we are not. It doesn’t have to come from childhood. In fact, I would say it’s easier to identify and resolve childhood shame than to deal with the shame we accrue as adults, ruled by our personal standards, expectations, and the need to look good.

Shame can be a source of anger, depression, and anxiety. It makes us feel like something is wrong with us, and that can erode our confidence, self-trust and ability to move forward.

In fact, we can become so bound by shame that we stop moving, stop trying, stop expressing, stop loving. We will go into emotional hiding. We will go to great lengths to avoid anyone seeing us for who we think we are. God forbid we are uncovered as a fallible human being. Yet essentially that is what we are. As humans, we will make mistakes, screw up and fail. That’s a given and you know what? It’s ok, even though it doesn’t feel ok at the time.

According to StopItNow.org.uk:

“Shame is the belief that we have done something wrong and that makes us a bad person. Someone experiencing shame may not be able to identify their positive qualities or see themselves in a good light.”

Feeling shame is normal. But if not brought to the light of day and resolved or dealt with, then we are prone to triggering events that lead us down a “shame spiral”. Again, according to StopItNow.org.uk:

• We begin to feel as if we can’t do anything right and that we are a failure

• We start to think that everyone is judging us and dislikes us

• We gather evidence that our thoughts are true

• We have the urge to quit, withdraw or run away

How can we tell if we are prisoners of shame? It can be difficult to recognize, but some of the signs are feelings of:

  •  Defeat
  • Rejection
  • Isolation
  • Self-loathing
  • Low self-esteem
  • Perfectionism
  • Wanting to avoid social engagement/interaction with others

How to get free from Shame

The antidote for shame is always self-acceptance and self-forgiveness. We can strive to accept our humanity, which includes the experience of triumph as well as failure. We must practice self-compassion.

We can seek to understand our shame: where it comes from, its origins. Journaling is very helpful to get clarity and insight into the genesis of our shame. We can also take valuable lessons and wisdom from what happened.

We also need to accept responsibility: we must face what we’ve done. We can make amends, seek absolution, apologize and ask for forgiveness from others as well as ourselves.

It’s freeing to talk about our shame and share our feelings with someone that we trust such as a therapist or friend. Shame dissipates in the light of awareness and sharing with someone who supports us.

And we must be willing to fail again. We must be willing to acknowledge that living fully means often falling short of the mark (the original meaning of “sin”). But first we must be willing to uncover the shame to ourselves, then to another. This takes courage and a desire to be free from hiding who and what we are.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

If you are thinking right now that you might be chained and weighed down by shame, then request a complimentary half hour phone consultation with Ted. You can talk about what’s going on, Ted will  answer any questions you might have, and if you feel that hypnotherapy is right for you, you can schedule your first appointment. Go to https://TedMoreno.com/contact to request your complimentary consultation.

Here is today’s quote >

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.”
~Brene Brown (click on the link for her TED talk on shame.)

Thank you for reading this!

Ted

Fourteen Ways to Break Up SSDD and Feel Alive – Episode 454

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Have you ever asked someone how they are doing, and they respond SSDD which stands for “Same s..t, different day?” It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day humdrum where the days seem to run into each other because the same thing happens day in and day out. This can leave us feeling stuck and uninspired. We need to consistently work on bringing more joy, aliveness and passion into our lives, and it starts with connecting with those things that fill you up inside.

In this episode, Ted offers 14 ways to get out of SSDD and feel more enthusiastic about being alive at a time when it’s becoming increasingly difficult to find fulfillment and meaning in modern life. The best part: most of these things are simple and easy, yet powerful. Check it out!

Listen to this podcast episode now:

Ever get the feeling that all you do is work and be responsible? Do the days seem to run into each other because the same thing happens day in and day out? Do you feel “stuck”?

Henry David Thoreau said, “Most people lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.” Do you sometimes feel that Thoreau is talking about you? (note: you would be saddened and shocked by the number of people that would say yes to that question.)

It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day humdrum. When you ask people how they are doing, how often do you get SSDD which stands for “Same s..t, different day?

It’s like if you hang a picture on the wall, for the first few days you’ll look at that painting, and you’ll go “Oh that’s a nice painting.” But eventually that painting becomes part of the background, and you don’t notice it anymore. Life can be the same way. Where all the things you do every day just run into each other and fade into the background and that becomes your life if you aren’t constantly looking for new experiences to fill you up.

If you can relate to what I’m talking about, then you can to change things. You need to do something different. Here are 14 ways to get out of SSDD and bring more joy, aliveness and passion into your life at a time when it’s becoming increasingly difficult to find fulfillment and meaning in modern life. It all starts with connecting with those things that fill you up inside. And I’m not talking about going out and buying new stuff. I’m talking about new feelings and new experiences. The great thing about it is that they are relatively simple things.

Listen to music. Music is healing. Music speaks to our souls. Turn off the TV and sit instead with your eyes closed listening to your favorite type of music. When was the last time you did that? Make a playlist of your favorite songs and listen to them in your car instead of listening to the news. I love classical music, and when I’m feeling dulled by life, I listen to Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony or Bach’s Sonatas and Partidas for Solo Violin.

Play music or sing. Do you have a dusty instrument laying around? Pull it out and see if you can become friends again. It could be as simple as a wooden flute with holes or as complex as a grand piano. Have you always wanted to learn an instrument? When would now be the best time to start? Guitar is easy and cheap. You can learn by watching YouTube videos.

Watch your all-time favorite movie. One that inspires you. One that makes you laugh or makes you think. Turn off the phone, grab your favorite brew and be taken away by a great story. My favorites: “Lawrence of Arabia” and “Casablanca”

Read. Read something that keeps you turning the pages. Something inspiring and interesting. Make regular time to savor it. If you learn something, that’s a bonus.

Do some art. Let your artistic side come out. Do you like to draw? Paint? Photography? Work with clay? I don’t know how much a bag of Sculpey is but I’m sure it’s not a lot. You don’t need to know “how”. Just play, see what happens.

Dance. If you find yourself alone and the mood strikes you then get up and bust a move. Don’t be shy to dance alone. It’s all about freedom of expression. If you want to but can’t call me and I’ll help you bust loose. I dance. Usually by myself. Sometimes in front of the kids and my wife. Move your body with music. Get into your body and feel the groove.

Start a garden. Plant a seed. Nurture it. Watch it grow. Maybe you end up with fruit, vegetables or a pretty flower. Be a partner in the miracle of life. Get filled up with wonder. That will make you wonderful (or more wonderful than you already are).

Get a pet. Dogs, cats, birds, whatever. Play with your pet if you have one. Not just walk them. No room or too much hassle? Get a fish. They’re easy and they don’t mess up your house. Aquariums are peaceful. Get some frogs, or newts. Some people like snakes and lizards. They’re not for me but whatever floats your boat. Get something alive and take care of it.

Hang out with a little kid. Maybe yours, maybe someone else’s that would like some kid-free time. Go buy them an ice cream. Go do something that you liked to do when you were a kid.

Get out into nature. This is very powerful. Go to a park and walk barefoot in the grass. Take a drive up into the mountains. Take a hike. I like lakes and streams, there’s magic in those places. My personal local favorite: Puddingstone Lake in Bonelli Park here in San Dimas where I live. Go fishing, kayaking, just get out.

Go to a museum. Want to get inspired? Stand in front of a painting that is 500 years old. It’s quiet and cool in museums. I was in New York last summer standing in front of Starry Night by Van Gogh. I so was moved to see it in real life. My favorite: Huntington Library and Botanical Gardens in San Marino. They have a beautiful Japanese garden and a brand new Chinese Garden that is absolutely amazing. If you live in the LA area, this is a national treasure right in our backyard. I’m sure there is something like that where you live as well. Build something. Anything. A shed. A box. A model airplane. A real airplane. Create something with your hands.

Take a vacation. Even if it’s just a day off, like a mental health day. Yeah, I know, vacations disrupt my routine too. But that’s the idea. Can’t afford it? You can’t afford not to. Rest and relaxation are just as important as work.

Develop a spiritual practice. Whatever is meaningful to you. Reading spiritual texts, going to worship services, meditation, or study. A spiritual practice can connect you to deeper parts of yourself that leave you feeling centered, grounded and connected to everything out there.

It’s all about connecting with your inner sense of wonder and creativity and getting inspired. We are creative beings and when deprived of these essential qualities we shrivel and die. Perhaps not a physical death, but certainly a spiritual one. It’s up to you to give yourself what you need to thrive.

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Feeling stuck? Are you ready to change some things up to have more fulfillment and joy? Request a complimentary consultation with Ted by going to http://TedMoreno.com/contact. He’ll get back to you within 48 hours to talk about what’s going on, answer any questions you have, and if you are ready, schedule you first hypnotherapy session in person or remotely.

I hope you enjoyed my podcast today.

And now, you can watch a video of this podcast by going to my YouTube channel @TedAMoreno. Here are two quotes for you, the first is by Jiddu Krishnamurti:

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” The next quote is from an article titled The Only Way to Avoid Living a Life of Quiet Desperation by Jason Phipps at ElephantJournal.com.

“The only way to avoid a life of quiet desperation is to be brutally honest with ourselves. To not succumb to the trappings of a society that forces us to buy, pose, share, and like. To be different in a manner that is authentic. To have the courage to look life in its eyes, and say no to what isn’t our path, and to say yes to what is. Avoiding this isn’t easy, hence why most of us never do.”

Something to think about.

Thanks for being here,  Ted

 

How to Manage and Increase Your Energy – Episode 453

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“OMG I’m sooo tired!” How often to we hear this from people around us (and maybe even from yourself?) There’s a lot of talk about how to manage your time but a lot less about how to manage your energy.  So, in this episode, Ted talks about how to manage and increase your energy to allow you to get more done in less time a lot more enjoyably. Ted discusses the fundamentals of abundant energy, (you know what they are!) energy sucks, why mindfulness is so important in having high energy, the four areas of your life energy, and reveals the single most important characteristic of those that have seemingly infinity energy.

Are you dragging yourself through the day? Check out this podcast episode!

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now >

If you don’t manage your time well, you might run out of time.

If you don’t manage your money, you might lose it.

So, if you want to have a lot of energy, you need to manage that too. But here’s the thing about energy: you can manage it in a way where you always have more than enough energy. You have a finite amount of time, and at any point you have a finite amount of money, but it’s possible to have all the energy you need if you learn to manage it correctly. We’re talking about abundant energy.

Now, there will be times when you are going to lack energy, that’s life. However, when you you’re sick, or going through really tough times, are have a new baby and not getting enough sleep, these are the most important times to pay attention to and manage your energy.

Let’s start with the basics: good sleep, good food and regular physical activity. These are the fundamental requirements for high energy. We know this. However, people make the mistake of saying, “Well, I don’t have the time to get all the sleep I need, or I don’t have time for physical activity.”

The truth is that having a higher level of energy makes your time more efficient, you get things done more quickly, there is less procrastination, and things flow easier with less effort. Managing and cultivating more energy simply means you have more energy to do the things that give you more energy! So contrary to what many people think, taking the time to get good sleep, physical activity, and eating good food is an investment into your energy account. And don’t forget, drugs and alcohol and sap your energy easily

I don’t want to say more about this because it’s something everyone should know, so if you’re dragging yourself through the day, start with addressing the fundamentals for a higher level of energy.

Now, I’m going to suggest to you that the single most important thing that you can focus on for maximum energy is what is going on in your own head. If you have the right mindset, if your head is on straight, this can be incredibly important to your energy even if you aren’t getting the sleep or food or exercise that you want or need.

We’re talking about your own relationship with yourself. If you don’t like yourself, if you are beating yourself up by judging, criticizing yourself or comparing yourself to others, these are huge energy drains. If you desire a higher level of energy, it’s imperative and critical that you take time to connect with yourself. Take time to reflect on the following:

· What’s your purpose?

· What are your values?

· What is important to you in this life?

· Do you have goals written down?

· What lifts you up?

· What is dragging you down as far as your feelings about yourself?

If you aren’t taking the time to cultivate this type of awareness, then you will allow yourself to be a leaf blown about by circumstance and other people’s opinions and behaviors.

Speaking of other peoples’ opinions and behaviors: do what you can to avoid drama and people that create chaos and drama. This kind of toxic energy will suck the life force out of you. You might not be able to avoid being near family members or co-workers like this, but you can and must draw boundaries to keep from getting drawn it to other people’s negative stuff. As much as possible don’t engage and keep your distance.

Same thing with the news. There’s nothing wrong with being informed about what’s happening or being active in your cause. But when you notice that your media or social media exposure is making you angry a lot, or scared a lot, or apathetic, then you know your energy is being drained. Get angry, get fired up, be concerned but don’t live there. You really need to protect yourself against the constant effort by most media outlets to get an emotional reaction from you.

One of the ways you can do that is to stay grounded, centered and balanced. There are many ways to do this. Mindfulness practices such as yoga, meditation or prayer, breathwork, walking, and daily affirmations are all effective ways to keep your energy from being drained. As I’ve mentioned in many of my previous podcasts, ritual and routine can help you maintain those powerful habits, especially your morning routine. There’s a great article on Medium.com that references the work of John Kabat Zinn, American professor of medicine and the creator of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. He’s identified 7 areas of mindfulness:

· Non-judging

· Patience

· Beginner’s Mind

· Trust

· Non-striving

· Acceptance

· Letting Go

Check out the video that I’ve linked above.

One of the benefits of cultivating mindfulness is that it allows you to have the awareness and clarity to see what gives you energy and what drains your energy. And that is very important to know.

Finally, ask for help. You don’t need to do it on your own. Find a counselor, therapist, coach, mentor, whoever, find someone who can support you and assist you in doing the things that you need to do to increase your energy. There’s another great article in the Harvard Business Review online titled Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time where the authors discuss the four areas of energy we all have: Body, emotions, spirit and mind.

Energy in the body is created through your self-care and healthy habits.

Energy in your emotions is managed by giving yourself downtime, and connecting with the people and activities that boost your energy and avoiding energy suckers.

Energy in your mind is being able to focus and concentrate by cultivating feelings of being centered and grounded and avoiding drama and distractions.

Energy in your spirit is finding meaning and purpose in your life.

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There you go, I hope you found this episode helpful. Of course, if you feel you need help to get your energy back online, you can request a complimentary consultation by going to TedMoreno.com/contact.

Let me leave you with two quotes today, the first by Nikola Tesla:

“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.”

The second is the Serenity Prayer, you may have heard it:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Thanks for being here,

Ted

Illustration by Martin Mancha