A New Direction for the Ted In Your Head Podcast – Episode 472

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In this episode, Ted discusses the desire to take his podcast in a new direction after almost 10 years of the Ted in Your Head Podcast. How to overcome anxiety, how to be more confident, how to let go of worry, these are good topics that Ted have been addressing but now he is asking the question: “How can we live life in a way that allows us to feel excited, inspired, energized and confident in the face of so many changes and challenges? How do we not only avoid falling into negativity and overwhelm, but more importantly, who do we need to be to maintain positivity and keep moving forward?

In this episode, Ted is not providing any answers, but instead, is asking the questions that are all on our minds at this moment in time. Please feel free to leave a comment or review.

 

Listen to this Podcast now:

I want to begin this post by expressing my gratitude to you for reading this or however you are getting my podcast. Whether you’re a regular listener or a first-time listener, or you’re a client, previous or current, if you’re tuning into this podcast in any way, shape or form, I really want to give you, my appreciation. When I started this podcast, I wanted it not only to be a way to get my name and what I do out there, but I really wanted it to be helpful. So, thank you so much for reading this today. I am grateful for you.

The title of this podcast is A New Direction. I’ve been thinking a lot about this podcast and where I want to take it. It’s been about a month since I’ve done a podcast, and I needed some time to think about what I wanted to do with this podcast.

What I’ve been doing, if you if you don’t know already, a lot of episodes on how to how to overcome anxiety, how to deal with test anxiety, how to overcome lack of confidence, how to grow self-esteem, and all of those kind of personal development type things.

I do think that’s been helpful. If you want that information, you can certainly get it from my podcast, and I will continue to do podcast episodes about those topics. But a lot of that information you can get on the internet. Heck, you could type in “How do I overcome test anxiety?” and AI will give you a lot of good information about that.

Now, however, I want to take this podcast in a new direction, because to be honest with you, I was getting a little bit kind of bored with what I’ve been doing, so I took some time off, took a month off to think about what I want to do next.

What I would like to do moving forward is get deeper into the question of who do we need to be to face the challenges of life? But not only that, but who do we need to be to really experience life at a higher level with more excitement, more energy, more juice, if you will. I want to address some of the essential aspects of life, such as, who do we need to be in the face of our own aging, or in the face of seeing our parents age? This is an important topic to me at this point in my life.

Or the loss of loved ones, or the impending loss of loved ones. So instead of coming out of these life challenges and trying to pick ourselves up or put ourselves back together, instead, I want to explore how do we go into these situations and not get so knocked down? In other words, how do we constitute ourselves to be up for these challenges of life?  How do we manage to find the time to maintain our own self-care, to maintain our energy, to take care of ourselves? Life is so busy, and if you’re not used to exercising or a higher level of self-care, how do we wrap our head around, what that looks like?

How about money? How do we deal with the money thing in the face of economic uncertainty? A lot of pundits are out there saying we’re headed for a recession or higher prices. I’ve got some kids going into college and that is definitely on my mind. Taking care of vehicles, mortgage, and future security are all things on my mind right now.

How do we avoid worrying or having anxiety about money? This is a very important question, because money is an important situation that we have to deal in our lives today.

However, I just don’t want to talk about challenges. The question I really want to ask is, how can we make life worth living in the face of living in 2025? Whether you’re in the United States or another country listening to this podcast, how do we live life in a way that’s exciting? How do we maintain the wonder, the awe, the excitement of life, rather than allowing ourselves to get ground down by the constant number of things we need to think about, worry about, or be concerned about?

Helen Keller said that life is either an exciting adventure or it’s boring. I don’t think many of us see life as an exciting adventure. If you have a job you have to go to, or you’re not independently wealthy, or you have kids, life can become a real grind. How do we maintain that sense of wonder or awe?

George Bernard Shaw said, “Life is not about finding yourself; it’s about creating yourself.”  How do we continue the process of self-creation on a daily basis? What does that even look like?

I think a lot about a guy like David Bowie, the musician, the rock star. I think he’s an example of somebody that was continually looking to recreate himself. Started off as, Ziggy Stardust, then went on to be Thin, White Duke. He continued to present himself in new and exciting ways. And I don’t think you need to be a rock star to be actively involved in the act of self-creation.

But again, what does that look like, and how do we find the time to do that? Does it mean getting a new wardrobe every two or three years? I don’t think so but how do we continue to live life in a way that’s inspiring and creative? If there’s no creativity, if there’s no novelty, that’s when we get burned out, that’s when we lose interest, that’s when we start turning to things to numb ourselves.

I also want to talk to experts. I want to have a lot more conversations, a lot more interviews, asking people, how do you keep from being overwhelmed? I think overwhelm is one of the biggest problems in our life today, too many things to think about, too many things to do, too many things to worry about?

I mean, here I am, I’m a 65-year-old guy in the United States, 2025. I’ve got money to think about. I’ve got a mortgage. We’re a three-car household, and another driver is coming online, insurance, retirement, Medicare, parents. How do you deal with all of that without going crazy, without wanting to immediately come home and pour yourself a drink or take yourself a toke, right? These are the questions that people are coming to me and asking me. Things like “How do I maintain staying out of trance, the spaced out don’t know whether I’m coming or going state? How do I maintain not sinking into despair or worry? Who do I need to be? How do I constitute myself to be a person that is awake, aware and intentionally living life?

I think that’s a big question, when overwhelm gets its fangs into us, then we’re fearful, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is truly the biggest problem of our time: Fear. Fear of what’s going to happen, fear of what’s not going to happen, fear of getting old, fear of dying, fear of losing the people that we love, fear of what’s going to happen with the economy.

There’s a lot of fear right now, at this particular point in time, not only because of what’s going on in the government, but also because the pace of change is so incredibly fast. Things are changing so quickly. How do we even keep up? I mean, you know, I’m looking at having to get a new computer. I was talking to a client the other day where we agreed that even getting a new phone, that can be incredibly stressful. What do we do? How do we do it? How do we maintain our stability, our feeling of being grounded and really having the confidence and trust that we’re able and up for taking on life in all its myriads of joys and challenges in 2025?

Most importantly, I want to hear from you. I really want to hear from you. What’s keeping you up at night? What are you struggling with? What do you think you’ve nailed down? What do you think you have dialed in? I really want to hear from you.

One of the things that’s bothering me is that I don’t get much engagement from the listeners of my podcast, so I want to let you know that you can leave comments at SoundCloud at Tedmoreno.com/podcast, or you go to the transcript of this podcast, which is at Tedmoreno.com/blog and leave a comment on this post.

You can always go to my Facebook page or Instagram page to leave comments about how you feel about any particular podcast or what you’d like to hear, I really want to hear more about what you think about the things that I’m talking about.

So there you go. That’s what I’m thinking about these days. I’m thinking a lot about personally, for me, the next 10 years. What do I want the next 10 years to look like, not just in my own business, but how creative do I want to be I life? What do I want to continue to bring to the world? I’m 65 years old. I figure I’ve got another 10 years of creativity and the ability to make my own unique contribution. Retirement is not really a word that I want to talk about or deal with, because I want to continue to reinvent myself and bring more good stuff to the world.

So that’s what I’m thinking about, and I want to share that with you. And of course, if you want to share something with me, I’m totally open to that. You can go to tedmoreno.com/contact, you can send me an email about your thoughts, and of course, you can send me an email if you are interested in a half hour phone consultation where we can talk about working together, doing hypnotherapy, and your particular situation. We’ll answer your questions, and if you’re ready, we can set up an appointment.

Thank you so much again for listening and take good care of yourself, and we’ll talk again very, very soon.
Have a great day.
Ted

 

 

Top 10 Tips to Overcome Fear of Public Speaking – Episode 471

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It’s been said that for many, fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death. However, in today’s business environment, chances are you will be required to give reports or presentations to colleagues or clients. Or, you may be asked to give a toast, or speak at a wedding or funeral. As with all fears, fear of public speaking is learned, and what is learned can be unlearned. Nobody is born a good public speaker. The good news is that you can learn to overcome the fear response and speak comfortably and effectively. In this episode, Ted gives the top 10 tips for overcoming the fear of public speaking. Even if you can speak in public but want to do better and feel more comfortable, check out the helpful information in this episode.

Listen to this Podcast now:

Nobody is born a good public speaker. As with all fears, fear of public speaking is learned, and what is learned can be unlearned. When someone says, “I have a fear of public speaking because I’m not a good speaker” all they are really saying is “I haven’t developed the skills to be an effective speaker.” Becoming comfortable in front of a group is a skill you can learn.

In today’s business environment, you will almost certainly be required to give reports or presentations to colleagues or clients. If so, consider learning to speak in public as a necessary part of your personal and professional development. You might also be called upon to speak at weddings or funerals. It doesn’t feel good to have to say “I can’t”.

Many people who once suffered from fear of public speaking  have gone on to become very good speakers.

Here are some other things to remember:

  •  You don’t have to be a master orator in order to be effective. You just need to be yourself. Don’t try to be or think of yourself as a “public speaker”.
  • The audience is on your side, wanting you to succeed.
  • You don’t need to memorize a lot of information. That’s what notes and handouts are for. It’s even easier to a presentation over Zoom with the help of screen sharing to share visual aids such as PowerPoint presentations.
  • It’s ok to feel a little nervous, that’s natural.

Nervousness is not the problem. The problem for most people is the fight or flight response (sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, inability to think clearly) when asked to speak to a group.

In additions, many suffer from anticipatory anxiety which is falling into the “What If Pit”:

  • What if they don’t like me
  • What if I really screw up
  • What if I embarrass myself
  • What if they see I’m nervous

The good news is that you can learn to overcome the fear response and speak comfortably and effectively and it doesn’t have to be  stressful.

Of course, there are different levels of fear of public speaking. At one end of the spectrum, you might be challenged by social anxiety disorder to the point where even talking to someone one can be anxiety provoking. That’s a problem of a different magnitude; I’ve covered social anxiety in past podcasts and will probably revisit that soon.

Most people that come to me for hypnotherapy don’t have this challenge, they just want to feel more comfortable giving professional presentations such as in a business networking situation, giving short speeches and maybe giving an occasional toast or saying a few words at a funeral.

Tips for dealing with fear of public speaking

  • Preparation is the key to success. Have an outline for what you are going to say. Put your notes on 3×5 index cards that are numbered in order. Know if you are going to be standing up or sitting down, at a podium, or on a stage. If you are going to use any kind of tech like a computer or PowerPoint, you really need to test that and make sure that wherever you are going to speak can accommodate your tech. Have a back up plan if your tech doesn’t perform the way you want it to.
  • Do a little mental preparation before you speak. Psyche yourself up, see yourself doing great, give yourself some positive suggestions using positive affirmations. Challenge your negative self-talk. It doesn’t help to say things like “I just know I’m going to screw this up.” or “I have so much fear of public speaking!”. Be realistic in your expectations and show this in your language to yourself: “I can do this, it’s only ten minutes.”  or “This is a great opportunity to show my stuff.”
  • Practice relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, meditation, or progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your nerves before and during your presentation.
  • Practice, practice, practice. Practice saying the words out loud, not just in your mind. Practice in front of someone you trust who can give you some feedback. This is one of the best ways to deal with fear of public speaking. Record yourself to see what vocal tics you might want to work with. Practice in front of a mirror.
  • Focus on your body. Stand up straight, shoulders back. You know how it’s hard to feel depressed when you are smiling? What you do with your body will impact how your brain works. Feel your feet on the floor. Center and ground yourself before you speak by focusing on your abdomen and taking a deep breath. Also, practice making eye contact. The best practice is to look into different people’s faces but if that’s too hard for you, what can be helpful is looking slightly over the tops of the heads of the audience and focusing on the back of the room.
  • Don’t be boring. The worst sin you can commit as a speaker is making people wish they were somewhere else. Humor is good.  People want to laugh, and when they do, you’ll feel a lot more comfortable. Just use common sense to avoid offending your audience with jokes that are off color or politically volatile unless of course you are preaching to the choir, so to speak, and your speech is intended to be political.
  • Shift your perspective: Instead of focusing on your own anxiety, focus on connecting with your audience and sharing valuable information. Try to craft your message to your audience so that what you tell them has some impact on them. Think about making a contribution to your audience.
  • Make sure you eat something. Diet and your level of anxiety are intimately related. Don’t go in front of a group on an empty stomach or over-caffeinated. Low blood sugar can trigger anxiety.
  • Join a speaking group such as Toastmasters. These groups exist specifically for people to practice public speaking in a safe and supportive environment. There are chapters everywhere so click on the link and check it out. In addition, there’s a lot of instructional material out there including books, DVDs and audio programs that can be very helpful.
  • Get professional coaching or hypnotherapy. If you haven’t done a lot of speaking in public or, if you’ve had bad experiences in the past, then speaking in front of people is an unknown to your subconscious mind or it represents danger to your subconscious mind. The idea is to make the unknowns known so that your mind feels more familiar and comfortable with what you want to do. Hypnotherapy is an excellent way to get that subconscious mind on board and working for you. I help people let go of the anxiety and  fear of public speaking that keeps them from getting ahead personally and professionally

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

Watch Ted in Your Head on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tedamoreno

Ted helps people let go of the anxiety and the fear of public speaking that keeps them from getting ahead personally and professionally.

Reach out and request a complimentary consultation by going to https://tedmoreno.com/contact. He’ll get back to you within 48 hours to schedule a conversation to see what working together can do to support you in speaking more effectively, powerfully and enjoyably.

Here’s a quote by Mark Twain:

“There are two kinds of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.”

Thanks for being here!

Ted

Self Sabotage: Identifying How You Stop Your Success – Episode 470

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If you have the sneaky feeling that you are holding yourself back from taking the actions that lead to success, then there is a good chance you are engaging in self-sabotage. While some self-sabotage behaviors are easy to see, some are subconscious and therefore, hidden.  

In this episode of the Ted in Your Head Podcast, Ted describes the behaviors and thought processes that can point to your own self sabotage. Once you are aware of them, you can begin to address them and let them go, creating a path to success and accomplishment.

Listen to this Podcast now:

We’re talking today about self-sabotage and what I mean by that is behaviors that keep us from our goals and accomplishments. I addressed this subject two years ago, but recently I’ve had a number of people coming to me for help with this challenge so I thought I would revisit the subject with some updated information.

Self-sabotage is when we consciously or subconsciously stop ourselves from getting what we want. This could be due to things we are doing or things we are not doing.

There are many ways that we sabotage our success and happiness and goals. Some we’ll be aware of, but other ways are subconscious behaviors, so this makes it more difficult to identify and address.

Any subconscious behavior is tricky because it’s below conscious awareness, so often we don’t even know we have the behavior.

There are also many reasons why we self-sabotage, consciously or subconsciously. A lot of these may stem from childhood, especially if we had a dysfunctional childhood. Other reasons might be fear of success or failure, low self-esteem, or lack of confidence. But the it’s almost always rooted in fear.

It’s important to understand that if you want to accomplish something, and you haven’t done it, then what you want to accomplish is unknown to your mind and represents safety. Your subconscious mind likes what is known and will keep you from the unknown to protect you. This means that your subconscious mind, a very large part of your mind, will overpower whatever your conscious desires might be, resulting in resistance and self-sabotage.

Let’s talk about how you can identify how you are holding yourself back. You probably  know that you are not living up to your potential, and in fact, if you are not achieving what you know to be your potential, than it’s safe to assume that there are self-sabotaging behaviors at work. There are many, but these are the most common ones, so as we go through these, make a mental checklist of which of these apply to you. According to Psychology Today, behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting and oftentimes, illness.

  1. Feeling not deserving. Feeling not deserving would also include imposter syndrome, that sneaky feeling that you are faking it and the fear that someone is going to discover that you’re a fraud. If you have subconscious programming that you haven’t worked hard enough, suffered enough, paid enough dues or you’ve done things that mean that you should not have success or happiness, then your mind will do what it can to keep those things from you. Check out Ted in Your Head Episode 426 titled What you Deserve Has Got Nothing to Do with It.
  2. Focusing on what is not working or not going right. It’s the feeling that there is always something wrong. “Nothing ever works. Nothing ever goes right for me. You can’t trust anybody. What’s the point?” Always focused on the negative. Complaining a lot. This is deadly and it’s sneaky because it’s a way to let yourself not strive because nothing’s going to work out anyway. This is toxic, this stinking thinking, so if you recognize this in yourself, start to change that as quickly as possible using positive affirmations.
  3. Negative self-talk and extreme self-criticism. It’s easy to see this in ourselves and others, but it’s one of those self-sabotage behaviors that can become a really bad habit. Always tearing yourself down and beating yourself up, and the more you do it, the worse you feel, the worse you feel, the more you do it, and nothing productive gets done.
  4. We all procrastinate, but chronic procrastination is most likely self-sabotaging behavior. Putting off what you need to do. Not taking care of the important stuff until there is a crisis. Reasons for procrastination: you are easily distracted. You have poor time management. You are a perfectionist and you’re afraid of not doing it perfectly. Your discipline muscles are weak. You are not good at self-regulation which means not being able to control your emotions. In other words, you’re not good at handling frustration, or you get angry when things don’t go your way or sad that you can’t make something happen. Successful people take action in spite of how they are feeling.
  5. Comparing yourself to others. It can be depressing and make us feel desperate when we look at others and think: “How come I’m not where that person is? What’s wrong with me?” This can create a feeling of futility, or we beat ourselves up or both. Do you think that’s helpful or motivating? It’s hard to be motivated when we’re feeling bad about ourselves, hence, self-sabotage. That’s when we start convincing ourselves that there’s something wrong with us because everyone else seems to be able to do what we can’t.

When this becomes a habit, it can be the most painful form of self-sabotage. Check out my podcast episode 357 Compare and Despair.

  1. Refusing to ask for help. “I don’t need anybody’s help, I can do it on my own.” This is so sneaky because it’s self-sabotage disguised as self-reliance. Nobody does it on their own. Or how about “I can’t count on anybody, nobody can do it as good as me, they won’t understand what I need, it’s too much hassle to ask for help, I need to do it my own way. I’ll look weak if I ask for help.” The truth is, when you ask for help, you are holding yourself accountable to the person that’s helping you. That can be scary and feel vulnerable.
  2. Picking fights or initiating conflicts with valued partners and loved ones. One surefire way to sabotage yourself is to chase away or repel anyone who might support you or encourage you or, again, hold you accountable. This is very common, more than you might think. It’s a way to stop your progress by creating conflict so that you can stay alone, unsupported and blocked.
  3. Avoiding or withdrawing from others. Instead of picking fights, you can just avoid or withdraw from those who could support you or encourage you. Or, after picking fights and creating conflict, you can just say “To hell with them” This is hard to see, because if we are focused on shaming and blaming others, it’s hard to look at ourself and our own motives.
  4. This next one is pretty obvious: making excuses or shifting blame. “It’s their fault that I’m not where I want to be, it’s the economy, the government, the politicians, my spouse, my parents,” on and on. Making excuses as to why we can’t do what we need to do to accomplish what we want to accomplish. This keeps the focus off us and allows us to avoid responsibility.
  • Substance abuse, overspending, or “overdoing it” and other types of self-medication including overeating. Any type of self-medication keeps us from feeling or looking at those issues that we need to be aware of and overcome. This could also include a lack of attention to your health so that you can use lack of energy or illness as reasons to not put in the time and effort. You may know that some little kids will make themselves sick to keep from going to school. Adults can do it too.

Those are the ones you need to look out for.

There’s a self-sabotage quiz you can take to help you see what your patterns are. It’s at the Psychology Today website:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201805/30-types-of-self-sabotage-and-what-to-do-about-it

Here are a couple of articles that might be helpful:

https://www.verywellmind.com/why-people-self-sabotage-and-how-to-stop-it-5207635

https://www.happierhuman.com/self-sabotaging/

There’s a lot to talk about when it comes to self-sabotage. The first step is always awareness. You need to know there’s a problem before you can address it, so I hope this episode was helpful to you.

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Watch Ted in Your Head on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gWblQ1A9_UY

If you feel that self-sabotage is holding you back and you are ready to do something about it, you should know that hypnotherapy can be one of the most powerful ways to turn your challenges into possibilities. Book a complimentary consultation with Ted so that you can explore if working together is your best path forward. To request your complimentary consultation, go to https://Tedmoreno.com/contact and he’ll get back to you in 48 hours to schedule your consultation.

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” —Buddha

Remember you can watch this podcast on YouTube at @TedAMoreno.

Ted

How to Find Something in Your Life That’s Worth Waking Up For – Episode 469

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In this episode, Ted answers a question sent in by a Ted in Your Head listener: “I’m having a hard time waking up in the morning. I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. How can I go about finding something in my life that’s worth waking up for?” Great question: Why get out of bed if it’s only going to be “the same ole same ole…”?

Only you can answer that question. The good news is that we all have the ability to create ourselves anew and find passion or passions that move us out of bed and into engagement with the world. Ted discusses some practical actions you can take right away to begin to give yourself a bigger and better reason to get up in the morning.

Listen to this Podcast now:

I had a listener reach out to me with a question:

“I’m having a hard time waking up in the morning. I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to. I’m not depressed but how can I go about finding something in my life that’s worth waking up for? I know about exercise and finding a hobby and eating well. I’m talking about steps to discover my passions.”

Thank you, listener, for your question. Let’s unpack this:

The fact that she’s not depressed is important. She’s aware that exercise and eating well is good.

She’s talking more about finding a passion that gets you out of bed in the morning, something to look forward to, something that’s exciting. As opposed to the “same ole same ole…”

First off, let’s not skip past the fundamentals of good sleep, exercise and proper nutrition. These are important for more energy and mental clarity which goes a long way towards being passionate. I’ve talked a lot about this. I’m always talking about this, so I won’t go into it again.

What we’re looking for is here something deeper, something that gives you a sense of purpose and meaning and motivation to start your day. Something that truly energizes you, something to look forward to.

  1. I would start by putting pen to paper or hands on a keyboard and writing. Journaling can be very helpful. Putting down ideas, exploring possibilities, notating insights etc. can be extremely helpful and a powerful path to self-awareness. Or, have a conversation with someone you trust but take notes or record the conversation so that you can refer back to any ideas or excitement that was triggered.

Ask yourself:

  • What do I want to create in this world? Art, music, a foundation, a business maybe?
  • Who do I want to impact? Very often passion comes from a sense of contribution.
  • What problems do I want to solve?
  • What legacy do I want to leave?

These are just prompts to get you thinking. However, don’t just think; write or record.

  1. Reconnect with What Used to Inspire You Think back to times in your life when you felt the most engaged and alive. What were you doing? Who were you with?

I was talking with a client the other day who is a new father, and business  owner. He said that he misses all the things he used to do that kept him fired up and bettering himself like reading or lifting weights. Sometimes, our passions get buried under responsibilities, and revisiting past interests can help reignite something meaningful.

It’s important to understand that this is a process of exploration. You must do a bit of work. You’re not going to listen to this podcast and all of a sudden wake up ready and rearing to go. Maybe instead of looking at your phone first thing in the morning, you journal instead? Just a suggestion…

  1. Explore what you’re curious about. What are you interested in? Picking a new passion might be harder than paying attention to what naturally catches your interest. Are there certain topics you like reading about, are you drawn to particular type of work or activity? Write those down, explore them on the internet, follow those small insights because they can lead to something bigger.
  2. This next thing is really important: What energizes you? What drains you? Pay attention to how you feel after different activities. Music energizes me, nature energizes me, reading about interesting things energizes me. Dealing with insurance, taxes, computer stuff, technical stuff: that drains me, but I know people who love those things. Do you like helping people, working with people or are you more of a solitary person doing your own thing? That’s important to know. Start designing your days to include more of what naturally fuels you so that you have something to look forward to in the day.
  3. Experiment Without Commitment

Give yourself permission to try things out. Take a class, attend a workshop, volunteer, or talk to someone or shadow someone that’s doing something that interests you. Don’t put pressure, don’t make it all or nothing, don’t feel the need to commit or be perfect. Just explore, check it out. If it doesn’t float your boat, let it go, but you still might get some good stuff from the experience.

  1. Connect with Inspiring People or read about them. Sometimes, being around passionate people can help spark something in you. Talk to people who love what they do. Ask them what excites them, how they found their path, and what keeps them going.

Or read about people who you admire. Learn their stories. What were their challenges and how did they overcome them. What are their philosophies of life?

  1. Set small goals that are exciting. Have the intention to read or listen to a book for a period of time if you enjoy that. Or exercise, take a walk. Go drive and check something out. Learn a new skill. Meet someone for coffee. Go to a museum or art gallery.

Even if you don’t know your passion is yet, setting small goals or challenges can add meaning to your days.

  1. Embrace change and let go of who you have always thought you were. In your journaling and reflection, think about the old you. The you in the past. You’re not the same person you were 5 years ago. We change, we grow wiser and more experienced, we must allow yourself to evolve.

Sometimes, we get stuck because we define ourselves by who we used to be. The things that once excited you may not be the same now and that’s okay.

Remember our subconscious minds like the known and familiar. It wants us to stay the same because that’s safe. Be willing to embrace new ways of thinking, new ways of feeling about yourself, talking about yourself both in your head and with others. Get your mind familiar and comfortable with the idea of the you that’s here, now.  Give yourself permission to have beginners mind, be willing to start again. George Bernard Shaw said “Life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.

  1. Recognize that passion often comes from taking action, not just thinking about it. You don’t have to wake up one morning with a lightning-bolt realization. Passion usually grows from engagement. Start doing things every day and see where they take you. You must be willing to do something other than be in your head. Start small but be consistent.
  2. Talk to your subconscious mind using positive affirmations. I believe that positive affirmations before bed and after you wake up are powerful. This gets your subconscious mind familiar with new ways of thinking. Start them with I am or I am becoming. We believe what we tell ourselves over and over. This is a form of autosuggestion because we are in hypnosis after we wake up and right before we sleep. Use that time to re-program your mind.

That’s what I have for you today.

I’ll leave you with two quotes, first one is by Bob Dylan:

“He not busy being born is busy dying” is a lyric from Bob Dylan’s song “It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)

Two of the most interesting things I’ve done recently was to read both Bob Dylan’s and Elvis Costello’s autobiographies. I was introduced to a whole new world of creativity, music and ideas.

Every day we are born again. Have your very first thoughts be positive thoughts like “Thank you for a brand new day.”

The next quote by George Bernard Shaw:

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Find time to play, explore, try stuff, and learn.

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Watch Ted in Your Head on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gWblQ1A9_UY

If you’re having trouble getting up in the morning feeling excited and looking forward to the day, you can request a complimentary phone consultation by going to TedMoreno.com/contact. He’ll get back to you to talk and explore what you want to create next.

Thanks you so much for reading.

Ted

Protecting Your Peaceful Vibe When Everyone Else is Freaking Out – Episode 468

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Does it seem like a lot of people around you are freaking out? Anxious about money, the economy, politics and the future?  Is it even possible to maintain a peaceful vibe in the midst of all this anxiety? Yes it is possible and in this episode Ted talks about how to maintain a sense of calm and peace when it seems as if anxiety is like a wave threatening to overwhelm you. See what Ted has to say as he works himself to maintain his peaceful vibe yet still stay informed and taking care of business.

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Listen to this Podcast now:

I don’t know about you, but a lot of people around me are kind of freaking out. There’s a lot going on, and the vibe of anxiety is very, very heavy in the air, particularly here in Southern California, where we have had these devastating wildfires. It’s almost as if everything’s been uprooted and many people have been uprooted, not only in Pasadena, but in the Palisades.

Just the other day, I was invited to speak at a group of Realtors, offering them some guidance on how to work with people that have lost homes and businesses and take care of themselves as well. They were very appreciative. And of course, so was I to be there talking with people that were on the front lines of working with people that had been negatively impacted by the fires.

In addition, I find that a lot of people are getting sick these days. It’s raining here in Southern California, rain that we definitely need, but it brings a host of other problems. Everybody’s inside, breathing on each other. That’s when people start getting sick.

Also, people are very worried about money. There is a lot of money anxiety out there right now, uncertainty about what the future holds.

News outlets and social media try to incite people and make them feel not good, but angry and afraid.

This is in large part due to the recent election. There are many changes happening very fast and that is scary for many. Things are moving very fast and there is a lot of news. This is creating a lot of anxiety in people, regardless of whether they’re red or blue. Many people in the country don’t know what to expect especially here in SoCal. I’m encountering people that are anxious and worried about all these things that I’ve just mentioned.

And so, for these reasons and many others in our personal lives, there’s a lot of anxiety in the world. Even me, Mr. Calm Guy, I’ve been feeling it. I’ve been feeling that kind of low-level unease like, “Oh man, I wonder what’s going to happen?”

If I go on social media, if I read articles, I find myself walking away either angry or anxious, and I don’t want to be like that.

So today I want to talk about and make sure that you have at the top of your mind some basic things that you want to do to remain peaceful, calm, at ease and immune as much as you can be to other people’s fear and anxiety.

If you’re watching me on YouTube, you can see that I’ve got my peaceful vibe going on. I’ve got my salt lamp there I’ve got my peaceful vibe fresh cut flowers. I’m wearing my peaceful vibe, nice warm sweatshirt hoodie.

So, just a description of how I’m trying to keep my peaceful vibe going on in spite of everything going on around me. I’m doing everything I can to stay rooted in calm and mindfulness.

Let’s talk about being informed. It’s important to be informed. However, we’re very suggestible and our minds are very open to social media, to the news and to other people’s opinions as well, and that’s great, however, until it starts impacting your ability to function and be productive and feel calm and mindful.

When your exposure to social media or to the news or other people’s opinions starts making you feel anxious or paralyzing you, that’s when it’s time to step back from those kinds of things. I listened to an awesome podcast the other day, I think it was the Daily Podcast about digital drugs. It was very, interesting to hear how people are turning towards digital drugs. So, there’s not only our regular addictive substances such as alcohol and gambling and drugs, but now there’s digital addiction too.

Even myself, the other day, I said to myself, I’m not going to go on social media until noon time, but I found myself wanting to read something, wanting to get that hit of adrenaline, like, “Oh man, there’s something going on out there and it’s making me angry!”  And I had to say, “No, I don’t need that right now. There are other things I need to do.”

We want to watch out, be alert and protect ourselves from the collective freakiness by being very careful about our consumption of social media and news. These things can be very triggering to our subconscious minds, and that is what they are designed to do. Let’s be very clear about this: much of news media, as well as social media, is predicated on advertising. It’s called the attention economy, right? I’m sure you’ve heard that term before. When our subconscious minds gets triggered because somebody out there is saying you should be afraid of this, or you should watch out for that, then we start walking around with that feeling of unease, and this can really turn into full blown panic.

We don’t want that to happen, because when we’re in that state, we’re not effective. We can’t contribute our natural gifts to the world, and we can’t make the world a better place if we’re hiding out and freaking out and panicking. Now I might be overstating it, but for some people, maybe not. So, I would suggest that if you feel that you’re being negatively impacted by what you see on social media or news media outlets, take a break, take a news fast, a social media fast, step back, maybe a day, maybe a week, totally up to you. Give yourself a break from all of that “Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, this, that, this, that, this, that!”

Just breathe. Meditate. It’s one of the best things you can do, even if it’s just five minutes, sitting there, eyes closed, breathing. The positive impact of this cannot be over stated, the ability to sit and breathe and tell yourself in your mind, right here, right now, everything is okay. That’s an incredibly important message to send to your subconscious mind, and meditation or positive affirmations is a perfect way to do that.

Take that time every day to put positivity and peacefulness in your mind, so that you’re focused on doing what you need to do, which is not spending all of your time, traumatized or freaking out or being angry about what you see in the news.

Now, I want to be very clear that there are things going on at the national level that we definitely should be concerned about. So, call your congressman, write your representatives, all of that is very important. And I know many people feel very strongly about what’s going on.

Do what you can do to speak out and speak up. However, sometimes there’s only so much we can do, so being over informed can be a negative thing. You need to get that balance between being informed and being triggered to be and scared. I hope what I’m saying is clear.

Screen time. How much time are you spending on your screen? The blue light interferes with our sleep. Come on, I don’t need to talk about this. You know what’s going on right? Go to any restaurant. People are no longer talking to each other. They’re on their screens. Try to limit that screen time. Be very aware of the pull. As I mentioned before, I’m trying to stay off my screen, other than checking text messages from clients, trying to stay off my screen until noon time, which I learned from many one of my clients and I think it’s a great idea.

Here’s the other thing, there’s a lot of people out there that seem to create a lot of drama. Drama creators, and I don’t mean like theatrical productions, I mean that they want to get you involved in their drama. They want to get you involved in their anxiety.

Hey, lend a listening ear. Be a shoulder to cry on, but don’t allow yourself to get wrapped up in somebody else’s anxiety or drama. This is very important. You have to protect yourself from other people’s stuff. It does not have to be your problem. It’s okay to say “I’d rather not talk about that right now. I don’t want to talk about politics right now.”

Or, “I understand that you’re you have some issues or challenges or problems. So, let me ask you, is there something you can do about it? Are you looking for some advice, or do you just want to vent? If you just want to vent, I have five minutes to listen to your vent, and then I’ve got to move on. Or if they say that they’re looking for some suggestions, you can forward them this podcast or one of my many other podcasts to talk about how to bring down anxiety.

We need to keep those boundaries and protect ourselves from people that want to suck us into their drama or anxiety. And we know who they are, and everybody has people like that in their circle. We don’t want to be mean, we don’t want to be insensitive, we want to be compassionate, but we need to take care of ourselves.

In addition, get outside, get outside into what’s real. All of this stuff that we read, that we are exposed to, it’s on a three inch by five-inch piece of glass called a screen, or your laptop. That’s what information is today. Images on a screen. You want to pull yourself away from that screen and get outside. Look at the sky, look at the birds, look at the trees. I was standing outside yesterday watching the rain. It was very soothing, very calming, very peaceful. The cleansing impact of the rain is really a wonderful thing to experience.

Get out and see things that have been around for hundreds, if not thousands of years, mountains, planets up in the sky, phases of the moon. These things are real. These things are part of who we are, and getting in touch with these things is incredibly important if you want to maintain that peaceful vibe.

Here’s the final piece of it. Your peaceful vibe is created by you, not by anybody else. Reading things may help. Listening to peaceful music may help. But what you have to do is you need to generate it from inside. Within each of us, there is a calm, still peaceful place. It’s there. I promise you. You need to find it, connect with it, and practice connecting with it so that you can connect with it more easily and more quickly when your peaceful vibe is threatened by everything that’s going on out there. That’s why meditation or yoga or breath work is so important to get used to and get very good at connecting with that peaceful place within. You need to nurture it. You need to develop it. You may not be interested in becoming a Zen master, and maybe you like being edgy and really on top of things and you like debating and that’s great. But don’t let it overwhelm you or trigger anxiety.

That’s what I’ve got for you today. This is coming from my own experience with clients, and with people around me. This vibe of anxiety, I am not going to let it mess up my peaceful vibe. So, I’m playing a little bit more guitar, reading some very cool inspirational stuff and I’ve got my fresh cut flowers from Trader Joes, salt lamp, my oil diffuser, my sage and all of that stuff. You might think it’s nutty or woo woo but they work for me and you want to find what works for you, but whatever you do, definitely do it.

So, I’ll leave you with a couple of quotes to end out this podcast. First, one of my favorite authors, Wayne Dyer, said:

“You cannot always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside.”

It takes practice, right? It takes practice controlling what goes on inside, but we can get better at that.

Here’s another quote by director David Lynch, somebody we just lost. He said:

“Stay alert, do your work and don’t worry about the world going by. Get your butt in gear and do what you need to do”

Watch Ted in Your Head on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gWblQ1A9_UY

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

If you’re feeling that anxiety, if you need a little support protecting yourself from anxiety around you, you can reach me for a complimentary half hour phone consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

Send me a little email or give me a phone call and leave a message. I’ll get back to you within 48 hours. I’ll answer any of your questions, and if you’re ready, we’ll schedule your first hypnotherapy session.

Thanks so much for tuning in. Take good care of yourself and someone else.

Ted

How to Keep from Pulling Your Hair Out When Things Don’t Go Your Way – Episode 467

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We know that life is not fair. We know that things don’t always go as planned. Yet in spite of knowing this, when things don’t go our way we get angry, frustrated, and upset. That’s ok, these are normal reactions unless our negative emotions overwhelm us, shut us down or create greater problems for us such as self-blaming, shaming and not feeling adequate. How do we keep from pulling our hair out when our expectations for what we want or need are not met?

In this episode, Ted talks about how we can approach those times when life is not predictable or fair. While acknowledging that no one likes when things go wrong, this episode provides some thought provoking ideas that you can implement right away that can make it easier to deal with the unplanned, unexpected and unwanted circumstances of life.

 

Listen to this Podcast now:

The other day my college student daughter was trying to do something on her computer and it wasn’t working out for her. The internet was too slow, or she couldn’t figure out how to do what she was trying to do, or the computer didn’t like her and had it in for her, something like that.

She was beside herself with frustration and anger. I saw what she was going through and I tried to calm her down. I told her that things weren’t always going to go her way, and that frustration and anger didn’t help.

She wasn’t really interested in hearing my words of wisdom.

A couple of days later, she told me that one of the brake lights on her car was burned out and could I help her change it. I said sure. We got into the trunk of the car and with some difficulty I pulled the old light bulb out of the taillight housing and put in a new bulb. Easy peasy right?

My daughter said, “Let me put the bulb back in so I can learn how to do it.”

I said “No, I need to be done with this so let me do it.”

To put the bulb socket back in the taillight, you need to position it in there in just the right way, then twist it in just the right direction and I’m trying to do this all bent over in the trunk and I can’t really see that well so I’m holding a flashlight and I’m trying not break the damn thing and I just kept on struggling to put it in and my kid was like “Dad let me try” and I was like “NO!” and I kept struggling but couldn’t do it and I finally gave up and said “Shit!! Why do they make these things so hard! These stupid auto makers want you to go to the dealer so they can charge you a hundred bucks to put a damn bulb in Jesus, Mary, Joseph give a break here!!”

While I was ranting and fuming my daughter got in there and put the bulb in easy peazy lemon squeezy.

She put her hand on my shoulder and said “Dad, things aren’t always going to go your way. Anger doesn’t really help.”

Life just ain’t fair is it?

I guess that’s the point: It’s not always going to be fair. Things aren’t always going to go your way. Many things will not go as planned.

You know this. I know it. But I still want it to go my way. In fact, I expect it to go my way. I want traffic to get out of my way so I can drive fast and get there quickly. I want people to do what I want them to do, I want things to work the way they are supposed to work, I want lines to be short, the baristas at Starbucks to be fast and I want everyone to go away when I need alone time, and I want them to be with me when I don’t. We all want these things even though we know they don’t work like that.

So, why do we get so frustrated when things don’t go our way?

Because we have expectations that are often not rooted in reality and when reality doesn’t conform to our expectations, we feel a loss of control and as human beings we are wired to try to have as much control over our lives as possible.

When we make plans, we become emotionally attached to the outcome. We imagine and we dream how good it’s going to be when that person we want to be with wants to be with us so that we can sail off into the sunset and when that doesn’t happen it hurts. Disappointment doesn’t feel good.

We always want to have good feelings and when we don’t have the good feelings we expected, we get upset, frustrated and angry.

Then we start blaming. We’ll blame the computer, the car, the government, the partner or spouse, or the boss. Or we might start blaming you know who: ourselves. Self-blaming, self-shaming and negative self-talk just add fuel to the fire. We can get so twisted up that what started as a minor snafu can turn into a major fustercluck. Can you relate?

If we’re already stressed, something going wrong can trigger major frustration and really shut us down. That’s when we’ll turn to you, you know, pick your poison, whatever your go-to is that makes you not feel. Booze, drugs shopping, whatever.

So how can we keep from pulling our hair out when things don’t go our way?

First of all, unless you are a Zen master, you’re probably going to feel negative emotions when your plans fall through. It’s called being human. The key is to manage those emotions so that they don’t control you or overwhelm you.

Start with examining your own expectations. Are they reasonable? If you don’t know, ask someone who is not afraid to tell you the truth.

If you expect people and circumstances to always be what you want them to be, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Ask yourself “What am I trying to control that simply will not be controlled.” Like traffic. See if you can adjust your expectations for people and things to be more in line with reality. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.

Next, take a good look at how you react to things that go wrong and ask yourself “Is that really who I want to be? Angry? Frustrated? Blaming and Shaming? Yelling and screaming and cursing? Is that what I’m aspiring to? If not, consider that you can react differently. Practice stepping back and away from the situation so that you can get some detachment and view the situation differently.  Be clear as to who you want to be in the face of challenges: Determined? Courageous? Persistent? You get to decide.

Next, you want to ACT. I read a post on Hub Pages that said ACT stands for Acquire Conscious Thinking. If something goes wrong, what can you do to fix it or make it better or prevent things from getting worse? Dispense as quickly as possible with unnecessary emoting and do something. Focus on a solution rather than being frustrated about what’s not working for you.

Also, how about being more flexible? Be like a palm tree. Palm trees are flexible. They bend when the wind blows but they don’t break. Are you too rigid? Too attached to the outcomes you expect? You know, sometimes when life blows us in a different direction than the one we want to go, we often find new possibilities, new paths, and new ways of seeing things. Be willing to bend because it makes life a lot more interesting and fun and a lot less stressful.

It’s also helpful to plan for the possibility that things WILL go wrong. For instance, keep cash on you just in case the credit card reader at the gas station is out of order and you’re running out of gas. Or just keep extra cash on hand in case you need it.  Use your phone to take photos of documents that might be a problem if you can’t find them when you need them. Keep an extra pair of shoes in the trunk of your car or an extra sweater. Have a spare charger cord for your phone or even a portable charger when you might not be able to get to an outlet. Carry a spare key for your car. Make sure the store you are going to is open. Simpe stuff like that.

One of the most important strategies to keep your hair is to plan for not having enough time. Always give yourself extra time to drive or to do a project or complete a task. There’s something called “Hofstadter’s Law,” which states that “It always takes longer than you expect, even when you know that it always takes longer than you expect.” This is also called “planning fallacy”, where people tend to underestimate the time needed to complete a task, even if they’ve done it before.

Finally, when things go south, when plans unravel, or even when life takes a devastating turn, the truth is that at some point, we have to find a way to accept what’s happened. And I’m not saying that’s easy—because it’s not. But acceptance can bring a kind of peace. It helps us find our footing again so we can start moving forward.

Now, I want to acknowledge something important. In my last podcast, I talked about emotional healing from catastrophic events like the Los Angeles fires. And let’s be real—losing your home or someone you love isn’t just a minor inconvenience. It’s not just “something that didn’t go your way.” It’s life-changing. The kind of loss that leaves ripples for years to come.

But even in the deepest grief, there’s still room for hope. We can honor what we’ve lost while also finding ways to manage our emotions and take small steps toward rebuilding. It doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending everything’s fine—it just means believing that, somehow, we can keep going.

In closing, I want to remind you that when we make plans or set expectations, our subconscious mind gets a clear picture of how things should unfold. This sense of predictability helps us feel safe and secure. But when things don’t go as planned, that sense of security is disrupted, triggering our fight-or-flight response. In those moments, we might lash out or shut down. However, if we allow ourselves to expect the unexpected and have backup plans in place, we can navigate these bumps in the road more effectively and find our way back to a calmer, happier mindset.

Let me leave you with two quotes, the first by a guy named John Lennon:

“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

This next one is by pastor, author and educator Charles R. Swindoll,

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.”

If you feel that your subconscious mind is reacting in a way that feels out of control when things go wrong in your life, hypnotherapy can help you deal better and feel better. Reach out for a complimentary phone consultation by going to TedMoreno.com/contact. I’ll get back to you within 48 hours to answer any questions and schedule your first session.

If you want to read this podcast go to TedMoreno.com/blog.

If you want to watch this podcast on YouTube, go to @TedAMoreno.

And if you enjoy what you’re hearing today, please like this episode, leave a positive review or share this episode over Social Media.

One more thing: this episode is dedicated to my younger daughter, who used to pull her hear when things didn’t go her way. She has learned not to do that anymore and I’m so proud of her.

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Watch Ted in Your Head on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Vog_d33ATlU

If you feel that your subconscious mind is reacting in a way that feels out of control when things go wrong in your life, hypnotherapy can help you deal better and feel better. Reach out for a complimentary phone consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact. He’ll get back to you within 48 hours to answer your questions and schedule your first session to start making it a lot easier to deal better and feel better.

 

Healing Emotionally from Catastrophe – Episode 466

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I wanted to take some time today to talk to those of you who might be feeling anxious, insecure, and overwhelmed after the recent wildfires here in Los Angeles. I know many of you are dealing with loss, uncertainty, or just the emotional aftermath of everything that’s happened. It’s a lot to process. I also want to speak to anyone out there that has gone through anything like this, whether it’s a natural disaster or some other catastrophic experience.

I have to be honest with you, I almost hesitate to speak about this. I personally can’t imagine what it would be like to lose your home, your business, or even worse, someone you love—whether that’s a friend, a family member, or a pet. These kinds of disasters—whether it’s fires, hurricanes, earthquakes, or anything else—can be incredibly devastating. They can leave you feeling like the ground has disappeared from underneath you. It can feel like everything is happening way  too fast, and you’re struggling to keep up with it all.

Listen to this Podcast now:

But here’s the thing: even if you haven’t lost your home or business, the emotional weight of this disaster can still be very real. Just the idea of having to evacuate, or seeing the devastation on the news, can trigger anxiety. It’s hard to watch people go through something so massively destructive, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed just by witnessing it all either in person or over the media. You might feel like you want to help, but you’re also dealing with your own emotions. And that’s okay. It’s also ok to take care of you first.

I wanted to speak today because I want to offer what I can to support emotional healing.  There are many resources online for things like insurance help, finding aid, and getting your life back to some sense of normalcy, but today I want to focus on how to begin to heal emotionally from something so catastrophic.

Let’s start by acknowledging something really important: Most of us aren’t prepared to handle something like this. Disasters of this scale are shocking, unexpected, and completely unimaginable until we’re right in the middle of it. The overwhelming feelings that come with it—whether it’s anxiety, grief, loss, or all of it combined—can really knock us down. But it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human.

When we’re overwhelmed, it’s like our minds go into a sort of trance or fog. It’s not the kind of trance that’s therapeutic like hypnosis, but the kind that makes it hard to think clearly, to process what’s happening, and even to know what to do next. We can get stuck in the loop of catastrophic thinking, where everything feels like it’s falling apart and there’s nothing we can do about it.

There might be moments of intense grief, anger, confusion, and depression. The emotional rollercoaster can be unpredictable—one minute, you might feel like you’re doing okay, and the next, the sadness or anxiety hits you again. You might even experience physical symptoms: sleepless nights, headaches, stomach aches, or muscle tension. For many people, trauma like this can lead to PTSD, which is something we can’t ignore.

So, what do we do? How do we manage all these emotions and take care of ourselves during such an overwhelming time?

The first thing I want to say is:

Prioritize your mental and physical health. This is not a time to repress your feelings or pretend that everything is fine. It’s okay to feel what you need to feel. Allow yourself time to sit with your emotions, even if it feels uncomfortable or like there’s no time for it. I know it can feel like everything is urgent, but healing isn’t linear. You might have good days and bad days. That’s normal. And if you’re struggling, be patient with yourself. This is hard stuff.

If you have loved ones around, whether it’s a spouse, children, or even close friends, make sure to check in with them regularly. Keep your relationships close. It’s easy for communication to break down during this kind of emotional turmoil, but connecting with your loved ones can bring a sense of grounding. Even if you don’t know what to say, just being present, being together can make a big difference. When people offer help or try to give advice or ask you questions, don’t be afraid to say, “I can’t think about that right now,” or “I need a moment.” You don’t have to have all the answers, and it’s okay to say that.

On the flip side, don’t isolate yourself either. Yes, you might need some alone time to process things, but remember:

Healing happens best in community. You’re not alone in this. Others are going through similar struggles, and connecting with others—whether in person, over the phone, or online or in groups—can bring comfort. It’s important to share and listen. Sometimes just talking about what you’re going through can lighten the load, even if just a little bit.

Take things **one step at a time**. There’s a lot that needs attention in the aftermath of a disaster. Whether it’s insurance claims, finding a place to stay, or figuring out your next move, it can feel like there are too many things to handle. But you don’t have to do it all at once. Break it down. Prioritize what needs to be done today and leave the rest for tomorrow. Don’t get overwhelmed by thinking about “everything you need to do.”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with emotions like sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety, ask for help. There’s no shame in seeking out support. This is the time to talk about what you’re feeling. Let it out. Journaling can be a great way to release pent-up emotions and gain some distance from your thoughts. Writing down what’s on your mind can help you start to make sense of things, even if the clarity or understanding doesn’t come immediately.

Also, don’t forget to **take care of your body**. It can be easy to forget to eat, or you might lose your appetite altogether, but you need energy to process and heal. Try to get enough sleep—yes, I know, it’s hard with everything going on, but your brain needs rest to process stress, and good sleep will help you manage anxiety better by giving your mind the time that it needs to vent out and release negative emotions, stress, anxiety and worry. This happens at night when you sleep.

Be careful about self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. It can be tempting to reach for something to take the edge off, and it’s okay to enjoy a drink or two to unwind, but don’t let it become a crutch. Be mindful of not getting lost in that fog because it won’t help you heal in the long run and can create a host of new problems.

I also want to remind you: move your body. Stress and trauma can get stuck physically, so try to get out of your head and into your body. Whether it’s stretching, yoga, walking, or anything that gets you moving—even if it’s just a little bit—this can be a powerful way to release tension and calm your mind.

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Lastly, I want to leave you with this thought:

Declare yourself able to overcome. Every single day, in your words and your self-talk, try to cultivate resilience, hope, faith, and positivity. You have the power to shape your mindset. You get to decide how you respond to challenges, even when it feels like that’s all the world is giving you. You are stronger than you think.

I’ll leave you with a quote from J.K. Rowling that I really like:

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

Hang in there. You’re not alone, and with time, support, and patience, you will find your way back to a place of healing.

And as always, If I can be of any support at all, don’t hesitate to reach out by going to  https://TedMoreno.com/contact and I’ll get back to you asap.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

Thanks for reading. We’ll talk again soon.

Ted

8 Things My 65 Year Old Self Would Tell My 25 Year Old Self – Episode 465

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Ted has turned 65 years old and is reminiscing about his life: choices made, opportunities gained and lost, good times and bad times, trying to figure out Medicare…

In this episode, Ted reveals 8 essential and valuable things that he would tell his 25-year-old self if he could with the understanding that his 25-year-old self may not listen…

Perhaps someone you know might benefit from hearing this? Check out this interesting and thoughtful episode dedicated to that young, skinny 25 year old and all young people everywhere.

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

I turned 65 this month, which is a milestone, I guess.
For one thing, I now qualify for Medicare. Yay?

I’ve been getting offers in the mail for discounts on Depends.  If you don’t know what Depends are you can look that up.

And despite their repeated invitations, I’ve haven’t joined the AARP just yet. For you youngsters out there, that stands for the American Association of Retired People. And I am neither retired nor ready to retire any time soon thank you.

I’ve also noticed, curiously, people being a little more deferential to me, you know, opening doors for me, letting me go ahead of them, calling me sir. I thought it might be the dazzling, dashing, stylish vibe that I project but I’m pretty sure that’s not it. More than likely it’s the little gray beard and the gray at the temples which makes people either think that I know something that they don’t or that I’m just an old person and you should be nice to old people.

I’ll let you decide how old 65 is, however, I CAN say that I seem to be older than most of the people that I’m around. So maybe I do know something…

At this stage of the game, 65, I’m looking back over my life remembering and thinking about the choices I’ve made. I see my life now as a path going back to 1960.  A lot of things happened. A lot of things went well but a lot of things really sucked, like everybody’s life.  You start thinking “What if I done that differently?”  What if I had made a different choice?”

It’s easy to look back in hindsight with another 30 or 40 years of experience under your belt and say, “Oh yeah, I shoulda, woulda, coulda.” But when all is said and done, all you can do is what you can do with the information you have at the time. We make our choices based on what we know at the time.

And sometimes, if we’re lucky, someone is there to give us more information, guidance and knowledge. And better information at any age can lead to better decisions, obviously.

So, if my 65-year-old self could talk to my 25-year-old self, this is what I would tell that dark haired skinny kid even though I’m not sure he would’ve listened…

First, I’d tell him to take better care of himself. Eat better food. Get just a bit more sleep. Get more exercise. Take better care of your teeth. Watch out for the dark sides of alcohol and drugs. Stay away from troublemakers and toxic people. When your own self-care becomes one of your top priorities, you think better. You do more and you do it better. You feel better about everything including yourself. You have more clarity.

I remember many times when I was in my 20s, having to make a choice between paying my credit card bill and eating, and I would always pay the credit card first.  Then one day as I looked into an empty refrigerator, I thought to myself “What am I doing?” I went out and bought a bunch of good quality food, called the credit card company and guess what? I paid the credit card off in a few months. I could work harder and focus because I wasn’t hungry.

Second, I would tell him “Work on your confidence and self-esteem. Hold yourself up and see yourself as someone that has value. Bless yourself, see yourself as whole and complete even if you’re screwing stuff up. Most importantly, do whatever you can to let go of any thought or feeling that you’re less than or not good enough. That kind of thinking is deadly, and you need to do everything you can to change it.”

Third, I would stress the importance and value of accomplishment. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. Strive for something above just getting by. Nothing in life worth having comes easy, hard work and sacrifice are needed. Have goals that you want to accomplish even if they are simple, such as getting out of bed before a certain time or exercising regularly or reading every day.  I would tell him that the most important goal or aspiration should be that of his own personal self-development, his own personal transformation. To work on becoming better, smarter, more motivated, and more productive.

The fourth thing I would say would be to encourage him to be persistent and not to give up so easily. Every master once was a disaster. Not being good at something while learning it is uncomfortable but be willing to be uncomfortable while you learn. Keep moving forward and realize that failure is a necessary part of success.

Number 5, learn to manage your time. Next to your health your time is your most valuable asset.  Manage it and learn to use it wisely. It will become so much more valuable as you grow older. Learning to deal effectively with procrastination is a must because it will stop you like nothing else will. Learn to take action as quickly as you need to. Balance productivity with rest and relaxation. ( Although I must add here that resting  and relaxation were not really things I had to struggle to achieve, they came very naturally to me!)

Next, I would say, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to do it on your own, there are people out there that are willing to help you or at least give you valuable information.

I was told by a person much smarter than me that my biggest problem was that I was not open to the contribution of others because I thought I knew everything. (This of course was in my 20s.) And it was true. I had to be the smart guy, the know-it-all and I certainly was not going to listen to what anybody else had to say about it.

However, when I finally realized that I didn’t know much of anything and in many ways couldn’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground, I started to seek the counsel of people smarter and more experienced than me and people that had more knowledge than me.

One of the earliest memories of doing this was when I wanted to be a long-distance trucker. I’d just seen the movie White Line Fever with Jan Michael Vincent, and it romanticized long distance trucking as a cool life on the road. Well one day I met a long-distance trucker, and I asked him. I said “Hey I’m thinking about being a long-distance trucker. What do you think?” He said “Don’t do it, it’s a terrible job. You’re never home, you’re always eating crappy food. You don’t get paid much for the trouble and all that sitting leads to hemorrhoids.” So, he was discouraging. That was just his opinion, but it was the only opinion I had so I chose not to become a long-distance trucker. Shout out to those truckers out there who keep the supply chain intact. Gratitude!

Then I thought it would be cool to be radio DJ, so I called one of the radio stations and I actually talked to the DJ. This was back in the 70s when you could actually talk to Wolfman Jack or some of the other DJs in the LA area so I asked the DJ, I said “Hey I’m thinking about becoming a DJ, what do you think?”

He said, “Don’t do it!” He said “I should’ve gone to law school. Instead, I’m sitting in this chair all day in this little box and it gets boring.”

So, it was helpful to admit I didn’t know and to be able to ask those who did.

Next, I would grab him by his scruffy t-shirt, get right into his face and tell him that the quality of his relationships will determine the quality of his life. I’d say to spend time with quality people, people that treat you well, people that support you, encourage you and inspire you. Get away from those that would tear you down, suck your energy, and take but not give. Cultivate quality relationships because they will be an ongoing source of friendship, love and support and there is no shortcut to this, whether it be a happy successful marriage or a close abiding deep friendship.

Finally, I would tell my 25-year-old self, “Have the courage to be true to yourself. All kinds of people will tell you all kinds of things and what you should do and who you should be. Listen to your own heart, trust your instincts, and have the character to follow your own values, to do what you feel is the right thing to do, even if everyone else is telling you something different. Have the courage to speak out against injustice. Recognize liars and conmen and walk away. Draw boundaries that protect you and stick to them. And always stay connected to the goodness inside of you.”

I would say this is what I’ve learned for a happy healthy life. Like I said before, the 25-year-old me might not have listened, but I like to think that he would at least print these thing about, or save them and maybe, come across it when it was needed the most.

So that’s what I would say if I could, but I can’t and that’s ok, everything turned out pretty good. However, if you know someone, a young man or young woman in their 20s and you think this blog post or podcast episode might be helpful to them, well, why not share it?

Let me leave you with a quote by American poet Nikki Giovanni:

I really don’t think Life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried- to-do.

I don’t mind the failure, but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.”

Thanks so much for reading this.

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Ps: Watch Ted in Your Head on YouTube!

Still working on the things you would tell your 25-year-old self but need to tell your current self?  Reach out to Ted for a complimentary half hour consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can get all your questions answered, find out how hypnotherapy can help you, and if you are ready, schedule your first appointment.

The Fires in Los Angeles – Episode 464

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It’s Friday the 10th as I record write and four major fires are burning across Los Angeles County. My family and I are safe, the closest fire to where we live is the Eaton Fire burning in the hills above Altadena, just north of Pasadena. However, the air is thick with smoke and ash.

My office is in South Pasadena and many of my clients and associates live in the Pasadena area. Tragically, I know personally many people that have lost their homes in the fire.

Tuesday, January 7, started with news media warnings of a “life threating” windstorm predicted to be the strongest wind event since 2011. The predictions came true with wind gusts reaching 80 to 100 mph in some areas.

Listen to this podcast episode now:

Those of us who live in Southern California expect wildfires in the winter, when the dry Santa Ana winds blow. However, the severity of this wind event, coupled with the fact that we’ve have no significant rainfall this winter, created conditions ripe for these devastating wildfires.

  • In the Pacific Palisades area on the coast between Santa Monica and Malibu, at least 10,000 properties have been damaged and 20,000 acres burned. Containment is 8%
  • The Eaton Fire has destroyed more than 1000 structures. 13,600 acres have been burned and containment is at 3%
  • The Kenneth Fire in north LA county and Ventura Country is 35% contained and has burned 1000 acres so far.
  • 100, 000 people are under evacuation orders and another 166, 000 are under evacuation warnings.

So there has been what can only be described as catastrophic damage across LA county. My heart goes out to those who are suffering the loss of homes and business.

I’m doing this podcast today because several friends, clients, colleagues and family members have reached out to find how my family and I are.

We are lucky. We were without power for 24 hours starting Tuesday night as the wind howled outside. Our next-door neighbors, some of the nicest and most generous people I know and who managed to keep their power, offered extension cords to plug into their outside outlets so that we could keep our refrigerator running.

If there is a bright spot in all of this, it’s the kindness, generosity and resilience of those who live in the LA area, including businesses, shelters and food banks. Chefs offering thousands of meals to evacuees, Air BNB hosts and dozens of others offering free shelter to those in need, mechanics offering free car repair. I’ve seen people on social media offer their homes to whoever needs a place to sleep.

Help has poured in from all over the world including Sooper Scooper planes from Canada.

It is heartbreaking to watch the devastation and loss including 10 people who have died. But it’s comforting to experience and hear about the generosity of neighbors and businesses, the generosity of volunteers, and the commitment of first responders.

If you want to donate to fire relief and recovery efforts, you can:

Donate to the Red Cross at redcross.org/donate

Donate to the Los Angeles Fire Dept. Foundation

Or you can go to CharityNavigator.org to donate to an organization that feels right to you.

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Thank you for reading, and if I can be of any assistance, you can reach out to me at TedMoreno.com/contact.

Goodbye and please take care of yourself and each other.

Ted

Where is the Peace? Where is the Goodwill? – Episode 463

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Peace on Earth, goodwill to all is what you hear this time of year, but truth be told, it’s sad to see the level of division, distrust and anger in our country today, not to mention the strife we see in the world at large. In the news, on social media, in print, there is anger, condemnation, and blame.

Where is the peace? Where is the goodwill? It starts in only one place: your heart.

In this episode, Ted shares a sense of hope he received from some high school students and the message they conveyed in their song.

 

 

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

Usually when my wife asks me what I want for Christmas, I give her the silly answer I always give her: “I want Peace on earth, goodwill toward men.”

It’s a bit of a smart-ass answer because I really don’t need or want anything; I suppose I could come up with “a new pair of shoes” or “a v neck sweater” but the truth is I have enough shoes and sweaters, and my wife already does more than enough to make Christmas bright for our family and everyone else without having to go out and get more stuff for me.

This year when she asked me again, and though I said the same thing, this year I meant it. I’m looking for the peace and goodwill but it seems really hard to find.

It’s sad to see the level of division, distrust and anger in our country today, not to mention the strife we see in the world at large.

I’ve noticed a greater level of frustration and anger on the road when I drive, even in myself. More impatience, more honking, more aggressiveness.

To stay centered, grounded and rooted in the present seems to present a greater challenge to those I love, those I work with, and me.

When I do go on social media, which is more and more rare these days, comments are rife with ridicule, condemnation, attack. Even for the most non-provocative posts such as “Do this for healthy digestion.”

However, there was a bright spot recently for me. A bit of hope. My daughter sings in a choir in her high school. It’s a very good choir and the high school is lucky to have five different choirs with a total of 200 students.

Last weekend we went to see my daughter perform at the annual holiday choir show at the local performing arts venue. The stage was beautifully decorated and for the first time, the school was able to provide a wonderful orchestra of professional musicians to accompany the students.

What made the biggest impact on me though, was what the choir director said as he spoke to the audience.

He spoke of the amazing opportunity that these kids have to be in a school district that values the arts and music. He related the hard work that the students had put into the show and how proud he was of them.

He also told us how, in rehearsals and choir classes, he would discuss with the students the state of the world and the concern they had for it. So, the most important message that the students wanted to send, he said, was peace on earth, goodwill to all.

I grew up during the Vietnam War. I was in high school in 1975 when Saigon fell but I didn’t know anything about that. I wasn’t aware. I didn’t follow the news. I knew very little about the state of world affairs. I was naïve and unconcerned. But the high school students on that stage are concerned. They know. With social media and the 24 hour news cycle literally in the palms of their hands, how could they not?

My kids have been singing in the school choirs since grade school. Their holiday performances always end with the song “Peace,Peace” where the choir not only sings but using American Sign Language, signs the words of the song:

Peace, peace, peace on earth and good will to all
This is a time for joy
This is a time for love
Now let us all sing together
Of peace, peace, peace on earth

Evers since grade school, they’ve been singing that song about peace. You’d have to be made of pretty stern and unfeeling stuff not to get emotional hearing and watching this. I am not made of such stuff.

What I do want to be made of is someone who is part of the solution. If there is to be peace and goodwill on earth, it must begin with me, within my own heart. Within our own hearts. If you feel the same way, here are some things we can do, things that I am willing to do.

Instead of watching news or video where one political faction is tearing down the other, we can read or watch unbiased, thoughtful analysis of what is happening in our country so that we can understand the historical precedents to this current point in our nation’s history. We can stay informed and rooted in reality.

The election is over. The people have spoken. Whether your team won or lost, most of us want our families to be safe and our freedom to seek health and happiness protected. Let the haters hate, there will always be haters but I truly believe that most people are not haters. Aside from voting, all we can do is hope and pray that the ideals and principles that our country was founded on are maintained and protected. If there is anything else that we can do or say that will make a positive difference, let’s have the courage to do so.

If a political conversation is happening in front of us that is not respectful, reasonable and considered, we can walk away. Arguing about politics doesn’t change anybody’s mind and creates bad will. But let’s not distance ourselves from those that we love and care about because they hold a different political opinion. I understand that some people may need to separate themselves from those that are toxic and disrespectful.

I decided a long time ago not to engage in political discussions over social media. In fact, my goal is to keep my engagement with all social media at a minimum. I feel that at this point, most social media is part of the problem.

Let’s strive to give each other grace: in line at the grocery store, while driving, while talking. Let’s smile more at strangers, and reach out more to those who aren’t.

Let’s be mindful and present to when our anger flares, when our frustration threatens to overwhelm us, and when we want to give in to cynicism and resignation. In those moments, difficult as it is sometimes, we can choose hope. We can choose peace and an attitude of goodwill to all.

Want to catch up on previous episodes?  Click Here >

Are you trying to get free from the current angry vibe? Or looking to hit the ground running in 2025?.  Reach out to Ted for a complimentary half hour consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can get all your questions answered, find out how hypnotherapy can help you, and if you are ready, schedule your first appointment.

May you have peace and goodwill in your hearts at this time of the year and always. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.

Ted