The Futility of Comparing Yourself to Others

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Today’s post is by guest author Leo Babauta, creator of the blog zenhabits. I’ve found that one of the most pervasive ways that people disempower themselves is by comparing themselves to others.

One of the biggest reasons we’re not content with ourselves and our lives is that we compare ourselves to other people.

Picture it: you see photos of what someone else is doing on Facebook and think your life isn’t exciting enough. You see someone else who has a cool job and think you’re not doing that great in your career. You see someone with a hotter body, and feel bad about yours. You see someone who has created an awesome business, and think you’re not doing enough. You read about people who are traveling the world, learning languages, going to exotic resorts and restaurants, and wonder why you’re not.

Of course, you’re comparing your reality to an ideal, a fantasy.

It’s not a comparison that makes sense. You can’t compare apples to apples when you compare yourself to anyone else. Which means it’s a dumb comparison — why would you compare how tangy an orange is compared to a beach? They’re not similar things.

Let’s take an example: I’m out running in the park, and I see someone running past me. Obviously he’s a faster runner, and better than me! Oh, that makes me feel horrible about myself as a runner!

Except I can’t compare myself to that faster runner, because I don’t have all the information. I don’t know:

  • How far they’re running (I might be running 12 miles and they’re running 2)
  • Where they are in their training plan (I might be starting out on my plan, while they’re in week 20)
  • Where they are in their particular run (I might be warming up, while they’re at the hardest part of their workout)
  • How many years they’ve been running (maybe I’ve only started, and they’ve been running for 15 years)
  • Their injury status (maybe I recently injured an ankle while they’re not injured)
  • What event they’re training for (maybe they are training for a mile race, or a bike race, and I’m training for a 50-mile race)
  • What else is going on in their lives (maybe they have nothing else going on, while I’ve been working hard, socializing, and moving to a new house and getting little sleep)
  • What motivates them (maybe I just like the peace of running mindfully, while they want to beat everyone else on the path)

Given these and a bunch of other factors I don’t know anything about, why would I compare my speed at this moment with the speed of another runner? They’re irrelevant to each other. We just happen to be both running on the same path at the same time, but that’s coincidence, and nothing else is the same.

And even if everything else were exactly the same (would never happen), how would the comparison be useful? It would be meaningless even then.

The only thing I should focus on, as a runner, is myself. Enjoy the run. Learn about myself as I run. Keep going, and in doing so, I’ll get better — compared to myself.

And that’s the only thing we should focus on in life — enjoy the walk, learn about ourselves, keep taking steps and drop the comparisons. You’ll love the journey even more.

 Leo Babauta is a simplicity blogger & author. He created Zen Habits, a Top 25 blog (according to TIME magazine) with 260,000 subscribers.
 

Ted Moreno, Certified Hypnotherapist has a new website

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about_tedHi, Ted Moreno, hypnotherapist here. I have finally launched my new website at tedmoreno.com. The new site integrates my website with my blog site. Please check it out, I welcome any comments or suggestions.

My goal is to soon offer downloadable mp3 hypnosis recordings as well as hypnosis and motivational CDs.

 

You can comment in comment section under each post or comment by clicking on contact.  To go to my blog, just click on Blog.

Special thanks to Tom Kitti of Local Marketing Boost for putting it all together.

Thanks!

Ted A. Moreno
Certified Hypnotherapist
Success Performance Coach

Get Out! The Importance of Contact with Nature

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Have you ever stood by the side of the highway and looked out over a magnificent vista? How does that contact with nature make you feel? Does it bring you a sense of peace? How about a change in perspective?

Being outside in contact with nature has a profound effect on our minds.
In doing research for this post I found a fascinating article titled “PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFITS OF NATURE EXPERIENCES: RESEARCH AND THEORY” by  John Davis, Ph.D. The gist of the article is that there is much solid research that confirms what is obvious to many: contact with nature leads to increased mental health  and positive psychological development.

Contact with Nature: Positive Benefits

This article cites many positive psychological benefits of being in contact with nature, including:

  • Relaxation and stress reduction
  • Decreased mental fatigue, restored mental clarity, and increased sense of well-being.
  • Increased recovery from surgery and better health
  • Improved work performance in job settings
  • Benefits for children’s attention, including reduction of symptoms of ADHD.

Even better, you don’t have to be climbing a mountain or paddling a kayak. Beneficial contact with nature can range from an extended wilderness excursion, to spending time in a park or even your backyard, gardening,  and even watching nature scenes on TV! Even looking at pictures of nature scenes in a book or magazine can have a beneficial effect.

I’ts only been within the past 100 years or so that most of us in the industrialized nations  spend most of our time indoors. However, for most of our history as humans, we were outside: hunting, farming, walking, or just watching nature do it’s thing.

This allowed us to be present to the circle of life, the constant repeating cycle of the seasons, the phases of the moon, the changing constellations, the blooming and dormancy of trees and the changes in the behavior of animals.

As a modern society, we have lost sight of the fact that we are of the earth, and that the rhythm of nature is reflected in our own bodies. Allan Watts said “The Earth peoples just like an apple tree apples. When you look out of your eyes, at nature happening out there, you’re looking at you!”

In the article mentioned, John Davis refers to this as the “transpersonal” benefits of nature. Examples of transpersonal benefits from contact with nature include:

  • Nature is a trigger for peak experiences. Jesus, Moses, Buddha, and Mohammed had mystical experiences in wilderness settings.
  • Nature can trigger spiritual awakening
  • Nature is an antidote to a world that is overly rationalized
  • Nature can promote a shift from what is invented (the ego, built structures) to what is essential (that which existed prior to or before human action)

 My own personal opinion is that much of our discontent and angst in western culture is that we have lost our essential connection with the natural world.

When clients come to me who are challenged by negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, one of the first suggestion I will make to them is to get out! Get outside, walk around, and establish that connection with “essential nature”. My good friend and mentor June Davidson suggests walking every day barefoot on the earth. Chi gong philosophy suggests that trees have tremendous beneficial energy just by being near them.

I’ll make the same suggestion to you: take a few minutes every day to get outside, or at the very least, seek contact with nature through a window or even in a photo. Every day, see if you can take a break from the same house, same office, same freeway and just for while, get out!

If you liked this post, please leave a comment and/or share it with your social networks.  

Your companion on the journey to transformation,

Ted

New Website

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Welcome to our new mobile marketing website. [break]

As with all new projects, there’ll likely be a few “bugs” along the way because we’re human after all! [break]

We’ll be adding regular updates to both our blog and our content. As we gain experience in other mobile marketing fields, such as QR code marketing, we’ll be adding these services to our portfolio of service and will once again offer you great value for money in aquiring those all important new leads. [break]

So stick with us, check back often or sign up to our newsletter for all of our latest information.

Self Hypnosis for Fear and Anxiety

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anxiety[1]

Did you know that the most powerful skill you will ever learn is the ability to control your own thoughts?

What you think becomes your life. If you think worrisome, fearful thoughts, you will be worried and fearful. Think about anxious things, and you will have anxiety.

Do you feel like you are controlled by thoughts of anxiety, worry and fear?

If so, you can begin to take back control using  self hypnosis!

My Self Hypnosis Class is being offered again, this time to help you deal with fear and anxiety. 

It starts October 10th, Saturday  and continues on October 17th and 31st. (The class will skip the week of Oct. 24th)  The class starts at 9 am to 10:30 am. Click here to register!

Learn to use self hypnosis to release anxiety about things that are fearful to you such as 

  • Driving
  • Flying
  • Public speaking
  • Taking test and exams
  • Social anxiety
  • Phobias

…and gain confidence in all these areas!

In this class, you will learn:

  • What hypnosis is and isn’t
  • How to do a hypnotic induction on yourself
  • Crafting suggestions to put into your subconscious mind
  • How to put it all together to reprogram your subconscious mind for calm, comfort, ease and confidence in just a few minutes a day

You’ll receive my Guide to Self Hypnosis and my Self Hypnosis Conditioning CD, which also includes my studio produced “Peaceful Place” relaxation track as an added bonus. In addition, you’ll get handouts at each class containing the material presented. Click here to register and learn to take control of your mind!

I’ve been offering this class since 2010. Here are some comments from the course evaluations I’ve received from previous classes:

  • “Has really motivated me  to improve from day one. Very well organized.”
  • “The whole class was wonderful!”
  • “…so much motivational talk -that was great!“
  • “The class is perfect! Ted is a great teacher.”

If you have ongoing fear and anxiety, you are keeping it in place through your own self hypnosis, based on what you think, say and do.  

The good news is, you can take control of your own thoughts, feeling and reactions. If you have a habit of fearful, worrisome thinking, then you know this can hold you back from doing the things you need and want to do.
Why not use the incredible power of your own mind to change? Click here to register so you can get started!

A subconscious mind is a terrible thing to waste! Put it to work for you.  Click here to register for Self Hypnosis for Fear and Anxiety.

Hope to see you there!

Ted

Self Hypnosis and the Stars

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Celebrities have used hypnosis or self hypnosis for relaxation, career success and to quit smoking. Why not learn this valuable tool for yourself?

You can! Register for the Self Hypnosis for Success Class being offered again at Pasadena City College starting  Saturday, January 24th, and continuing for the next two Saturdays: January 31st and February 7th  from 9 am to 10:30 am. Click here to register!

You can use this valuable tool to:

  • Overcome bad habits such as procrastination
  • Gain confidence
  • Increase motivation
  • Release limiting beliefs
  • Achieve business success
  • Release fear and anxiety
  • And much more!

Reserve your spot by clicking here.

In this class, you will learn:

  • What hypnosis is and isn’t
  • How to do a hypnotic induction on yourself
  • Crafting suggestions to put into your subconscious mind
  • How to put it all together to reprogram your subconscious mind for success in just a few minutes a day
  • Little known, yet powerful tips and techniques for keeping your mind sharp, powerful and positive! (Most of this valuable information I only share with clients paying me $137 a session.)

You’ll receive my Guide to Self Hypnosis and my Self Hypnosis Conditioning CD, which also includes my studio produced “Peaceful Place” relaxation track as an added bonus. In addition, you’ll get handouts at each class containing the material presented. Click here to register.

Here are some comments from the course evaluations I’ve received from previous classes:

  • “Has really motivated me  to improve from day one. Very well organized.”
  • “The whole class was wonderful!”
  • “…so much motivational talk -that was great!“
  • “The class is perfect!”

Why do the rich and famous become rich and famous? Well, there are many reasons, but first and foremost, they knew what they wanted, they believed they could get it and they took ACTION. This is called a “success mindset” and you can have it too by using the powerful tool of self hypnosis.

A subconscious mind is a terrible thing to waste! Put it to work for you.  Click here to register for Self Hypnosis for Success.

Can Someone Be Hypnotized Over the Phone?

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Have you ever had the experience of falling asleep while being on the phone? Maybe  with someone who has a monotonous voice? If so, then you’ve experienced phone hypnosis!

Hypnosis is a state we all go into on a daily basis. When you’re getting hypnosis for hypnotherapy, you’re awake, aware and you hear everything that’s being said. You don’t have to be in the same room as the hypnotherapist, or even the same state. It is language that creates a state of hypnosis, even over the phone.

Hypnotherapy phone sessions are an effective way to get the benefits of hypnosis over the phone.

In my hypnotherapy phone sessions, I’ll spend some time talking to the client about what they would like to accomplish or change. Then we’ll actually do phone  hypnosis for 15 to 20 minutes. I’ll  record the hypnosis part of the session so that they can listen to it on their own for reinforcement. The results of a few hypnotherapy phone sessions can be just as good as having a hypnotherapy session in person.

The advantage is that you don’t need to jump in your car and go to a hypnotherapist’s office. With hypnotherapy phone sessions, you can get the benefits of hypnosis from the comfort of your own home, where you feel safe and secure. In addition, some people feel more comfortable talking over the phone about their challenges rather than talking face to face. The benefits are deep relaxation and a profound sense of well being. All while putting the awesome power of your subconscious mind to work to create success, happiness and health. And I promise I won’t bore you to sleep in our hypnotherapy phone sessions.

Many of my clients, happy with the results of hypnotherapy, want to refer their family and friends to me. However, sometimes they live too far away to come to my locations in South Pasadena or Covina.  Hypnotherapy phone sessions are the perfect solution.

Are you interested in finding out more about hypnotherapy phone sessions?

Do you know somebody in another state or country who would like to be more confident and motivated in their business or personal life? Do you know someone that would like to relieve anxiety when flying, driving or speaking in public?

Just click here to contact me or pass along this link to my contact page: www.tedmoreno.com/contact-us/

And if you call them on the phone to tell them about me, don’t talk to long or you might be the one hypnotizing them!

Your companion on the journey to transformation,

Ted A. Moreno

Personal/Small Business Coach
Certified Hypnotherapist
www.TedMoreno.com

FEEL FREE TO — USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR EZINE, WEB SITE OR BLOG. Just let me know, and include the following with it:

Ted A. Moreno is a Certified Hypnotherapist and Success Performance Coach. Ted empowers his clients to transform their lives by helping them reach their goals of success, abundance, personal development, health and happiness. To learn more, visit www.TedMoreno.com/blog

 

Do You Suffer from Driving Anxiety?

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driving-anxiety

Driving anxiety is the most common form of anxiety that I treat in my hypnotherapy practice.  This can range in severity from a hesitation to drive, where anxiety is always present, all the way up to a total refusal to drive at all, in which case it becomes driving phobia. A phobia is a fear that is paralyzing but irrational. Driving phobia is one of the most common phobias.

Driving phobia is a form of agoraphobia, literally defined as is the fear of open spaces. But it’s not the fear of open spaces that scares people, it fear of loss of control. People with a driving phobia or driving anxiety fear being trapped in a traffic jam and unable to escape if they have a panic attack. They also fear passing out, losing control of the vehicle, throwing up or getting into an accident. For many people, driving next to big trucks, merging onto the freeway or driving in the fast lane can be very nerve racking.

Symptoms of driving anxiety

Symptoms of driving anxiety are similar to most other forms of anxiety: heart palpitations, perspiring and sweaty palms, disorientation, confusion, dizziness, dry mouth and shortness of breath. This is the classic “fight or flight response”. Some times people feel that they are going to die or go crazy. This can be really scary and people will simply not drive to avoid these kind of intense feelings. It’s good to remember that  these are just feelings and even the most severe panic attacks don’t cause any long term ill effects.

Still,  driving anxiety can seriously impact a person’s  ability to function on a daily basis if they need to drive to work or drive for a living, especially here in So Cal where driving is necessary to get anywhere fast.

How does driving anxiety start?

Driving anxiety can start in many ways. Usually a person has experienced a car accident or “close call” and that memory is still causing the subconscious mind to be protective. Sometimes, this kind of anxiety can show up out of the blue.  If you are a person that is prone to anxiety or fear, then driving may be one place where this shows up.

In addition,having episodes of low blood sugar can create anxiety. If this happens while driving, then you might start associating driving with anxiety. Low blood sugar can be caused from not eating or after eating a meal high in simple carbs or sugar. This is especially true for those that have family histories of diabetes or hypoglycemia.

Driving anxiety can turn into a phobia though avoidance. In other words, of you have some fear of driving and you decide to stop altogether, it becomes a full blown phobia and the more you avoid it, the harder it is to get back in the saddle, so to speak.

The good news is, fear of driving is a learned behavior. If you have ever felt comfortable driving, then that is something you learned. If you are uncomfortable now, you can relearn how to be comfortable again. Here are some tips to help you get back on the road feeling safe and comfortable and confident. If you are currently not driving due to driving anxiety, I highly suggest you get help by contacting me  or another professional so I can help you.

Tips to help with driving anxiety.

  • The basics: avoid blood sugar imbalances. Avoid driving on an empty stomach.Pay attention to how you feel after eating certain foods, especially those high in sugar or simple carbs (bread, pastries, soft drinks). Drinking alcohol the night before can also trigger blood sugar imbalances. Also, if you are driving while sleep deprived, you are asking for trouble. Start by taking care of yourself.
  • Caffeine: is a known trigger for anxiety. Some of my clients have felt relief from driving anxiety just by cutting back on caffeinated beverages.
  • Consider car pooling. If you are engaged in conversation you are less liable to think anxious thoughts. You also have to drive half as much. Think this one over carefully, as some people are more distracted while conversing while driving.
  • Manage your stress. A common cause for anxiety is extended periods of overwhelming stress. Do what you can to lower your stress level: exercise, take more breaks, meditation, yoga, etc.
  • Affirmations.Hand write, in script, some positive affirmation about your ability to drive calm, comfortable and relaxed. For example “I’m calm, comfortable and relaxed while driving and enjoying listening to music (the radio, audio books, etc.)” Read them right before you go to bed and right after you wake up. Say them out loud and imagine yourself driving while feeling calm and relaxed. Don’t underestimate the power of this simple exercise.
  • What really stops most people is the anticipatory anxiety:“Oh my God, I need to drive tomorrow out to the west side. I just know this is going to cause me a lot of anxiety. I’m already feeling it!” Instead, try saying something like”If I feel anxious I know I can handle it.”
  • Desensitization. This is a therapeutic technique that can help you become more comfortable with what is fearful. It involves taking small steps to get comfortable with situations that trigger anxiety. For example, if you can’t even drive your car, then start by sitting in your car in the driveway or on the street with the engine on but not moving. Notice whatever anxiety comes up and just be with it. Do that for longer periods of time until you can sit in the car, engine running, without anxiety. When you reach that point, and it may take a few hours or a few days, then drive around the block. If you feel anxiety, just pull over until it goes away, then continue driving. For freeway driving, you might try getting on one on ramp, staying in the slow lane, and then getting of on the next off ramp.

The most important thing to realize is that even though driving anxiety does not feel good, it will not kill you. It is your reaction to the feeling of anxiety that determines how you manage it. Instead of fighting anxiety, just allow it to be. Notice it, and see if you can observe it with detachment. Take deep breaths and try to remain in the present moment. Realize you have a tendency to create anxiety with your thoughts so try focusing on something else, like the environment, music, or the cars in front of you.

If you are still driving even though you experience anxiety, these tips can be helpful and good luck. However, if your level of anxiety is very high, you will probably need some help. You don’t need to live with the anxiety; give me a call.

Ted A. Moreno

Click Here For a Free Guide to Relieve Anxiety