How Selfish Are You? Part II

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Something has come to my attention lately that I find quite astonishing and frankly, disturbing. 

In fact, I’m not even sure how to write about this because it cuts pretty close to the bone for most people. 

What is astounding to me is the number of people I come across, not just in my practice but in the outside world, who don’t honor themselves. Either that, or they just plain don’t like themselves. They can’t hold themselves in high esteem. 

Now, they don’t usually come out and say “I don’t like myself”, or “I’m not worthy” but it is apparent by their actions. 

The don’t eat when they need to. They don’t get enough rest. The don’t do things for themselves. The don’t take care of their health. They don’t engage in activities that fill them up, instead of engaging in activities that are depleting. They have insane schedules. They refuse to reach out to others when they are troubled. The don’t give themselves credit. They tear themselves down. It’s almost an epidemic, at least in our culture. 

Now, I’m not immune to this epidemic. I’m feeling a little run down these days, a little wasted. I haven’t  been getting enough sleep, eating right, or getting enough exercise. Other things in my life seem to be higher on the list of priorities. I think I like myself and I think most people would say the same about themselves. Yet, I still let myself get out of balance. 

Now, you may not be one of these people. Good for you. Please continue to read and pass this along to someone you feel could benefit. 

But if you identify with any of this, then read on. (see my earlier post “How Selfish Are You Part I.) 

It seems to me that many people take better care of their cars than they do themselves. And  I think it’s safe to say that most people take better care of others than they do themselves. Why is that? 

Because we’ve been taught that it’s bad to be selfish.  

Let’s be clear about one thing, and you don’t need to be a psychologist, anthropologist or sociologist to see the truth of this: we are all basically selfish. It’s the human condition. Everything we do, we do in an attempt to satisfy some kind of physical, emotional or spiritual need. And that’s OK. The question is, can we be ok with that fact? 

Now, please understand, I’m not advocating that you forego all the kind and generous things you do for others to focus only on your needs. What I am suggesting is that there needs to be a balance. 

If you have something extremely valuable, let’s say for instance, a pet, then you will go out of your way to care for it. Why? Because you realize it’s worth in your life and how it adds to your enjoyment of life. You feed it, bathe it, take it to the vet, give it love, and make sure it’s happy. For Pete’s sake, you even clean up it’s poop! 

Here’s what I think is the crux of the problem: most of us simply don’t realize our own value. And if we have some idea of our own value, we have a tendency not to honor it. Why are you valuable? In my opinion, it’s because you were born. I think that because of that fact, you have something to offer here in this life, and life is waiting for your contribution, or  already benefitting from it. 

Is that true? Well, let me suggest that whether it’s true or not doesn’t matter.  It’s simply a really good place to stand. Stand in the place of “I am valuable and have something to offer and I should take the best care of myself that I possibly can so I can do what I came here to do.” It’s the declaration of your own value and self-worth that will help you to do the things that a person of value will do. 

If you are valuable, then you deserve the best of care. Because you have something to offer your family, as well as  your community, both local and global, than you must be up to offering your unique contribution. And to be up for that you need to be at your best, giving yourself what you need so that you can give to others.  

The first thing you should give to yourself is acceptance. Tell yourself “I’m ok. In spite of all the areas of my life where I perceive I fall short, I’m ok and doing the best that I can.” 

Being valuable, being worthy, and being ok doesn’t come from what you are doing. If you base your value and worthiness on what you are doing than you run the risk that what you are doing will never be good enough. 

Being valuable, worthy, and ok comes from saying that you are and believing it, then looking for areas in your life that support what you say. You will find them.

Let’s throw out the word selfish. How about Self Caring? Are you willing to be self care-ful? Full of care about yourself. 

Take care of yourself. We need you around. You have important work to do that only you can do. You may not feel that what you are doing is important but you don’t know what life is preparing you to do. Accept the fact that you are human and will make mistakes. Be your own best friend. Be kind to yourself in word, thought and deed. Accept yourself for who you are and who you are not. Read my weekly quote, which is one of my all time favorites. 

Don’t worry about doing it perfect. As the Buddha said on his deathbed, “Do your best”. 

If you liked this post, please leave a comment and/or share it with your social networks. 

TMan 

Ted A. Moreno
Certified Hypnotherapist
Self Esteem Specialist
www.TedMoreno.com                                                                       

The Ups and Downs of Weight Loss

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Next to smoking, the most popular reason people consider hypnotherapy is for weight loss. There are a lot of fantastic claims out there as to how effective hypnosis is for weight loss. I suggest you do not belive them all as few will give you the complete story. Suffice to say that you probably won’t lose 50 lbs after one hypnosis session. So how can hypnotherapy help?

Wel, there are basically two things you need to do to lose weight: eat less and exercise more. Of course we all know that. The biggest problem with trying to lose weight, as those who have tried will attest, is not gaining knowledge regarding how to do it, but to actually engage in those behaviors which contribute to wieght loss such as proper food choices and an appropriate  level of physical activity. That’s  the hard part: ” I know what to do, but I just can’t seem to do it” is a common complaint.

The fact is, there are so many factors involved in losing/maintaining weight, that it’s no wonder that so many folks get discouraged and eventually give up. In addition,  it  seems every week there is a  diet/diet book/supplement that promises miracle results. Of course, losing the weight is only half the battle. The other half is keeping it off. In short, for many people, losing weight and keeping it off is not easy.

So is hypnotherapy effective for losing/controlling weight? Research has shown that it is if  coupled with a comprehensive program that includes diet and exercise. This statement presumes a few things:

  • That you really want to lose weight and keep it off and see this as a goal, with good, solid reasons as to why you have this goal and are willing to work for it. In other words, there is a commitment.
  • That you are willing to engage in regular exercise, and realize that if you are to be successful in losing weight, that this is soley your responsibility.
  • That you are willing to be ok with 2-3 lbs loss per week.
  • That you are willing to be truthful with yourself about patterns  and habits that keep you from your goals.

Hypnotherapy is not a magic bullet, but it can aid in creating and increasing motivation and commitment while helping to establish new habits such as exercise and smart food choices. Perhaps more importantly, hypnotherapy can help to establish a new relationship with food, where food is seen as fuel for the body as opposed to a balm for the emotions.

As strange as it may sound, consider there may be many reasons why people who claim to want to lose wieght actually sabotage their efforts due to what is called “secondary gain”. Secondary gain is an underlying, often subconscious motivation for keeping the wieght on. Some underlying causes for wanting to keep the weight on:

  • I don’t really deserve to look good.
  • My parents  always told me that to be too thin is unhealthy.
  • My parents always told me that I was destined to be fat so why try?
  • If I lose a lot of weight I may become attractive to people who want to date me and I’d rather not deal with that.
  • It’s my cushion between me and the cold cruel world.
  • Being overweight is  how I  punish my (parents, husband, wife, etc.)
  • Losing weight means  not enjoying food and in my culture food is very important.

In my hypnotherapy practice, my goal for my clients is to help them develop the habits and patterns of thinking that lead to reasonable weight loss and the ability to maintain a goal or desired weight. I help them to become very clear about what the benefits of weight loss are for them personally, as well as to clearly see where the stumbling blocks lie. Self image is always an important component, that is, I help my clients feel that they are worth investing  the time and effort  to look and feel healthy, energetic and attractive. After each session, I make a tape or digital recording for my clients to take home and listen to for reinforcement of hypnotic suggestions.

There are many other aspects of weight loss that can be discussed, such as metabolism, blood sugar stabilization, carbohydrate vs protein intake, type of exercise and frequency,among others. 

If you are ready to make a commitment to your health by losing weight with the help of hypnotherapy , call and mention Ted’s Hypnotherapy Newsletter and I will give you $50 off your first session should you choose to get started. Not sure? Call and I will be happy to answer any questions you may have. What have you got to lose except pounds and inches?

This week, try to lighten up!

If you liked this post, please leave a comment and/or share it with your social networks.  

Tman

 Ted A. Moreno
Personal/Small Business Coach
Certified Hypnotherapist
Specializing in Your Success
www.TedMoreno.com                                                                       
 (626) 826-0612

The Power of Chiropractic

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This week’s newsletter features an article written by guest author Dr. Kyle Umland, Doctor of Chiropractic. In addition to being my  chiropractor, he is a  friend and trusted health advisor. I’ve been getting regular chiropractic adjustment for most of my adult life, and I often recommend chiropractic to my hypnotherapy clients. If you are interested in finding out what chiropractic can do for your health maintenance, I recommend you call Dr. Kyle, a very knowledgable and extremely competent chiropractor. Tell him Ted sent you.

The Power of Chiropractic

Do you brush your teeth regularly?  I hope you do.

You brush those teeth so they don’t decay.

You also exercise and eat well to maintain your health.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”, so they say.

So let me ask you, what are you doing on a regular basis to take care of the most important organ in your body, your nervous system? Nothing? Well let’s change that. Your nervous system is where you live. It is where all your healing comes from.

  We’ve all been taught to judge our health based on symptoms. Got a symptom? -take a drug to mask the symptom, now everything is OK, right? WRONG!

You must understand that symptoms are your body’s attempt to tell you that something is wrong. Symptoms are your friends. Your body is designed to have symptoms, so that you know when something is wrong with your body.

If you were driving down the street and the oil light lit up on your dashboard, would you ignore it? Put a piece of tape over it so you don’t have to look at it? That’s exactly what taking a drug is like. But when your engine runs out of oil then you have a BIG problem!

Much of Western medicine is about treating symptoms, not addressing the cause of the symptoms. Medicine is great for acute care but an absolute failure for chronic degenerative disease which is what 95% of what medicine is treating.

 What’s sad is that as more and more people take drugs to relieve symptoms, it’s probable that more people will die an early death. If the body is telling you it’s sick by presenting a symptom, and you cover up those symptoms with drugs, then it becomes easy to ignore a sick body. I call it “Better living through chemistry!” But it’s not. Here is a chilling fact: From The Journal of the American Medical Association addressing the subject of unintended side-effects of properly prescribed, properly administered medications. The authors estimate deaths from such events to exceed 106,000 deaths per year in 1994. This makes drug reaction deaths the fourth leading cause of death in the country. That was in 1994. Imagine how many more are dying now that drug use continues to escalate. Your health should not be based on symptoms. A lot of people have no symptoms, and feel great but are not healthy. They can feel great one day and drop dead of a heart attack the next day; that was their first symptom! Magic Johnson feels and looks great but is he healthy? No, he is infected with HIV. True health is defined as your body, your total body, working at 100% function, and 100% of the time. So if it is obvious that taking drugs won’t make you healthy, what is the answer to achieving health?

 The answer is to take care of the cause of the symptoms and to help your body heal itself. All healing starts in the nervous system. That’s what the power of chiropractic is all about.

Chiropractic is powerful because you live inside your nervous system. Long before you get cancer, heart disease, long before you get any kind of a disease process manifesting as a symptom, the blueprint for that disease process is always created in the nervous system. This interference to the nervous system comes from stress, particularly emotional stress. How many of us have any stress in our lives on a regular basis? All of us. So it is vital to get adjusted regularly to clear this interference.

 If you were, God forbid, diagnosed with cancer today, consider that you didn’t get cancer yesterday or last week or the week before or the year before. The origins of this cancer may have started years ago. You don’t go from perfect health one day to perfect death the next day. Something breaks down in your body.

 When you get an adjustment it changes the patterning of the nervous system. That’s what makes chiropractic powerful. If you have a strong nervous system, (and I believe that the only way you get a strong nervous system is by seeing a chiropractor regularly) your body will maintain and heal itself. If you get your neck adjusted and your headaches go away, well that’s a great side effect of chiropractic. But if you get your neck adjusted and the nerve channels open up and the blueprint for the cancer that was going to come out in your physical body five years from now is eliminated, what’s that worth? It’s priceless.

 Here’s another reason chiropractic is powerful: if you have a strong nervous system, then you have a strong immune system. The immune system is the end organ of the nervous system. That’s why seeing a chiropractor regularly is the one of the smartest things you can do to add years to your life and life to your years.

Chiropractic doesn’t heal you, you heal yourself. The adjustment takes away interference from the nervous system which “turns on” your healing power.

 With regular chiropractic adjustments, you’re not making a decision about today’s back pain, headaches etc. You’re making a decision on where you want to be in 10, 15, 20, or 30 years from now.

Do you want to be alive and enjoying life with your friends and family years from now? Going out, traveling, playing sports, having fun? Or do you want to be laid up in some hospital or nursing home, or even worse, pushing up daisies at the cemetery?

 My work as a Chiropractor is not to get you out of back pain. (although it is a great side effect – most of the time your pain will get better!) My job is to keep you from being a customer over at the hospital. My job as a Chiropractor is to teach you about your body and keep you alive. As your Chiropractor, my  job is to help you live long and strong!

 I’m not trying to scare you but I’ve got to tell you the truth. You can read this article and choose not to make chiropractic a part of your lifestyle or even explore the possibility.  However, stress, toxins in the air, water and food, and the degenerative process of aging will take their toll on your body and possibly overwhelm its ability to heal itself. If your nervous system and immune system are not on full power, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t want you to look back 10 years from now and say, “I should have made chiropractic a part of my lifestyle.”

 Please help me in my mission to change the world one person at a time. Getting regular adjustments will reconnect body, mind and spirit and increase your health and vitality. By helping people get healthy and off drugs we will make the world a better place to live for all of us. Share this information with your friends and loved ones and start getting adjusted!

 Yours for health,

Kyle Umland, D.C.

626.345.0441