What About The Voice in Your Head?

the voice in your head

Photo by Stephen Huber

You have the Voice in your head. You probably know this. If you don’t, you should.

You may be thinking: “What voice? What is he talking about? I don’t have a voice. Maybe he has a voice in his head, but I certainly do not have one in mine.” Well, that’s what I’m talking about. It’s OK, we all have the Voice in our head. Maybe more than one.

This voice in your head goes by many names. Thinking, Monkey Mind, Internal Chatter, Running Commentary, Self Talk. This voice allows us to make sense of our world. We judge, we analyze, we compare. We search for meaning, patterns, relationships. What most people call this voice is Me. I. Myself.

The important thing to remember here is that the Voice in your head is not you, it’s a tool that you use. Just like a hammer is not you.

The problem is, we think the Voice is who we are. Consequently, we believe everything the Voice says.

Did you ever have the experience of saying something out loud, and then you thought to yourself  “That is totally something my (mother, father) would say.”

Is that your voice? Or is it your mother or father’s voice? (or grandmother, grandfather,  teacher, coach, etc.) How much of the voice in your head is really your own? How much of the voice in your head is the voice of someone else?

In my hypnotherapy practice, I call it self talk. The question I ask my clients is: Is your self talk serving you?

Think about it: is the voice in your head supportive? Encouraging? Or, do you call yourself names, even in jest? Have you ever heard the voice say:

  • I am no good at _____
  • I’m a failure
  • I’ll never be able to ___
  • I’m such an idiot.
  • I hate looking at myself in the mirror.
  • Nobody will go out with me because I”m too (old, young, dumb, unattractive, poor, shy, fat, skinny,etc.)

One of the most difficult things for us as modern humans is to get some distance from the voice so that we can observe it.

That’s why meditation can be so valuable. It allows us to set time aside so that we can step back and observe the voice in your head.

Why is that a good thing? Because most of us are slaves to the voices in our heads. Until we can observe the voice with some kind of detachment, it rules us.

Do you want more freedom from unwanted thoughts? More piece of mind? Try this: throughout the day, ask yourself the following questions:

  • What’s happening in my mind right now?
  • What am I thinking now?
  • Why do I think that?
  • How do I know that’s true?
  • How do those thoughts make me feel?

It’s called self inquiry and it’s powerful.

Realize that you create your reality using the voice in your head, with your thinking, thought by thought, sentence by sentence. We end up believing the reality we create, and we act  from these beliefs.

What about that voice in your head? Let it chatter, but don’t believe everything it tells you.



5 replies
  1. Natalie J. Moreno
    Natalie J. Moreno says:

    I was reading about monkey mind in my book, right behind you, while you were writing this blog. Coincidence?

  2. Therese
    Therese says:

    Thank you. I definitely need to not listen to the negativity voices. Love reading your stuff Ted ????.
    Hope to have a chance to catch up at some point.
    I love that when I read you , it’s what I need , glad to have that awareness . ❤️????????????????

  3. Christine
    Christine says:

    Very nice, Ted. Thank you. Yeah, setting good intentions and being kind to yourself is a great place to start.

  4. Frances Flores
    Frances Flores says:

    There’s a number of books on “self talk” – so you’re absolutely right, Ted; the voices in our head “ain’t us.” If the voice in any way cuts us down, it’s a monkey voice picked up from parent, teacher, preacher …outside intruders – to be dismissed! The only voice worth our time is the one that reminds us we were born with a noble purpose and prompts us to discovery of who we really are. That is the soft “voice” of Spirit, heard/felt only in meditation, like you say, Ted. Thanks for the reminder.

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