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How to Avoid the Fog of Overwhelm Part II

Overwhelm

In my last post, Avoiding the Fog of Overwhelm Part I, I discussed the state of overwhelm, what it is, how it happens and how it affects us.

To recap briefly, overwhelm happens when there is too much information (message units) coming into our conscious awareness. Our minds only have a certain capacity, like a cup that you can only pour so much water into. When are minds are filled to capacity, and stuff keeps pouring in, we lose the ability to cope.

At this point, our ancient survival mechanism, that good old fight or flight, gets triggered. When that happens we become what is known as “hypersuggestible” which means that we are susceptible to whatever is coming into our minds. We are actually in a state of hypnosis, but the suggestions we are giving ourselves are not positive, like the positive suggestions you get in a hypnotherapy session.

Usually, when we are overwhelmed, there is an accompanying state of stress; the conversations we are having in our heads are usually negative conversations. So, when we are overwhelmed, we can literally be programming ourselves for negativity and fear and we end up with a reinforcing cycle of overwhelm.

Each persons’ response to the state of overwhelm varies, ranging from a complete shutdown where someone might just slump into a chair and begin to cry, to irritability or anxiety, or to a feeling of being disoriented or “spaced out”, which I call the fog of overwhelm.

The end result is the same: we become ineffective in dealing with the challenges of life. We may lose the ability to be focused and on task, turn to avoidance or procrastination, or begin to feel anxious or depressed.

It’s important to note that for many of us, the modern American lifestyle lends itself to consistent feelings of being overwhelmed.

So what can we do to avoid the fog of overwhelm? Most of the things we can do involve basic self care.

  1. Get adequate sleep and take naps if you need to. Remember how your mind is like a cup? Every day it gets filled up with tension, pressure and the stress of living. Sleep is the time for your mind to empty the cup. Strive for a healthy sleep schedule and avoid stimulants such as caffeine, electronic devices, and working out just before bed.
  2. Don’t skip meals. Some people are prone to anxiety and overwhelm due to low blood sugar. Blood sugar, or blood glucose, is the main fuel for your body. Your brain uses more glucose than any other organ in your body. Do you ever get that feeling of lethargy or lack of focus in the late afternoon? Take a break and eat something with protein.
  3. Take breaks. Taking regular breaks throughout the day allows your mind to process incoming information more effectively. Breaks are scientifically proven to boost productivity and focus. Consider working in hour or 90 minute spurts, then taking a short five or ten minute break. This includes taking regular vacations and days off.
  4. Exercise. I know, you’re tired of hearing it, but exercise allows our body and minds to release tension and stress. If nothing else, get up and walk around.
  5. Meditation, yoga and other mindfulness practices. Powerful ways to feel more calm and more focused more often.
  6. Focus on one thing at a time. Multitasking can create overwhelm. Your focus is sharpest when it’s narrow and concentrated. One thing at a time: first this, then that.
  7.  Keep your vices in check. Alcohol and marijuana are hypnosis inducing drugs, not only when you are under the influence, but the next day as well. Check in with yourself to see if you need to make some changes in these habits.
  8. Count yourself out of hypnosis/overwhelm. When you find yourself overwhelmed, and starting to stress out, count yourself out of that negative state. Say out loud to yourself, if you can, “12345 Eyes open wide awake!” Clap or rub your hands together to get back into your body and out of your head.  This really works.

Take some time to go down this list and see what you can tweak and make better. You’ll find that you’re happier, more focused and productive, and a lot nicer to be around.

Having trouble sleeping? Challenged by anxiety? Need motivation to exercise? Click here to contact me for a free 30 minute consultation. 

Photo by Sb2s3

Liberation from You

Liberation

Bob Marley (photo by Euli Frey)

Liberation. The word is inspiring and filled with history and meaning.

Look up the phrase “independence”  on Wikipedia and you’ll get a definition about countries, nations and states and self government.

Look up the word liberation, and you won’t get much. As a definition, three words, actually.

Why so much about freedom but so little about liberation?

I think it’s because when we’re in a prison cell, or in a dictatorship where we’re unable to travel freely,  we know it. Those things are obvious to see and easily trigger a desire to be free from them.

What is not so obvious is when we are a prisoner to our own mind.

Liberation: What we really want but don’t know it.

People can get comfortable living in a dictatorship. Prisoners can become accustomed to and even comfortable with prison life. “This is how it is. We just have to make the best of it” is how we might come to acceptance of these conditions. But we don’t deny the fact that we aren’t free.

Not so when it comes to our minds. We have the capability to live our whole lives imprisoned by our beliefs, thoughts and feelings, and believe the whole time that we aren’t. This is called delusion.

This is what we all truly desire: liberation from the things that keep us from happiness, health, and prosperity, including the inability to see them for what they are.  We seek liberation from unhappiness, unease, discontent, and discomfort. We want liberation from emotions such as sadness, anger, guilt, regret, and fear. We want freedom from bad habits, patterns of thinking that don’t serve us, and lack of self worth and self esteem.

At our core, we all seek liberation from what holds us back from what we want. What is required is liberation from being blind to the fact that the biggest thing that holds us back is ourselves.

The problem is that we can get pretty chummy with those things that imprison us. We can become so comfortable and so accustomed to living in fear, anger and sadness that we come to accept it as how it is.  This way of being can become so pervasive that if given the key to our own liberation, we will give it back and say no thanks. Then, we will blame something or someone else for our inability to step through the door.

True liberation, true freedom, is being able to see what is true and act accordingly. The truth will set you free.

The truth is that most of us will never completely  escape the emotional landscape that surrounds our humanity. We will be subject to  grief and sadness, anger and resentment, guilt and regret, unease and discomfort.

Our liberation comes from seeing this truth with stark clarity and exercising our freedom to choose how to respond. To be liberated from ourselves is to see clearly that we don’t need to be slaves to our emotions,  desires, regrets, or habits. We can at least acknowledge that the chains that bind us to an unfulfilled life are illusory, and like wisps of smoke, can be blown away at any time.

But it’s not easy. Most people need some help. The best that most can hope for is to achieve liberation from the heaviest chains, and only you know what they are.

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.” 

~Bob Marley, Redemption Song

Ted

You can hear the podcast of this blog at TedMoreno.com, or Soundcloud, or iTunes.

 

Would You Get an Oscar for Your Mind Movies?

“It is written – here, in my mind.”

Did you catch The 87th Academy Awards last month? I saw The Birdman recently and really enjoyed it.

If you look back at the winners of the Oscar over the past 20 years you’ll see that more than half of the winners for Best Motion Picture are about the ability of the human spirit to triumph over adversity and our own human weaknesses. We love going to the movies because we love to be moved and inspired. Movies like “Slumdog Millionaire”, “Crash”, Million Dollar Baby”, “Lord of the Rings”, “Gladiator”, “Titanic”, “Braveheart”, “Forrest Gump”, “Schindler’s List” move us with themes of redemption, heroism, hope, and triumph.

On the other hand, have you ever walked out of a movie feeling like you got ripped off? Like you were expecting something interesting to happen and nothing happened? What about a movie that leaves you worried or anxious? Would you go see that film again and again and again?

Yet, in a way, that’s what many of us have a tendency to do.  We  play scary movies in our head over and over. Angst- filled mind movies with themes such as  loss, hurt, pain, failure, futility, desperation and hopelessness.

So what about the movies in your head? Are you currently running inspiring tales of adventure and victory like Lawrence of Arabia or disaster films Doomsday Prophecy? Would you get an Academy Award  for  the stories you consistently tell yourself or would you get a big fat Razzie?  I call these stories that we play in the theater of our minds Mind Movies.

Like a film you watch in a cinema, the stories you hold in your mind will affect you, either positively or negatively. You typically don’t go to the theater and see the same film every day. But your mind movies are always with you. In a large part, they will determine your level of happiness and success in life. If you run scary and frightening scenarios in your mind then that’s how you’re going to feel. On the other hand, if the pictures in your head are of you overcoming challenges and moving forward in the direction of your desires,  then you will feel hopeful and energized.

You are the theater owner, determining what films will be shown in your mind.  But you are also the director of your mind movies.  What are the scenes in your head doing for you? Are they serving you? Or are they keeping you in a constant negative state by scaring the spit out of you? (Ever been so scared your mouth went dry? That’s what I’m talking about)

If what is playing in your head is not keeping you inspired and hopeful, then pull that reel off quick and put something else on that big screen! Here’s how to do it:

  • Visualize what you want. First thing in the morning and last thing at night, imagine yourself accomplishing your goal. Put an inspiring and moving soundtrack to it. It doesn’t take very long, and it’s a powerful form of self-hypnosis.
  • Get out a pen and paper and write the screenplay for your compelling  mind movie. What is the story that you most want told about your and your life? Make it exciting and  inspiring. We’re talking about writing down goals.
  • Go out and rent movies that make you feel good. There are so many films out there that tell amazing stories of people overcoming the most incredible challenges. Notice how really inspiring movies stay in your head for a while?
  • Create a vision board. Cut out pictures from magazines and catalogs of what you want and what you want to do. Make a collage on a bulletin board or firm poster board. Put a cut out photo of your head on the bodies of fabulous people doing fabulous things.
  • Avoid watching stuff that brings you down! How much negative news do you really need?

Remember, images are the language of  the subconscious mind, the seat of your deepest habits and though patterns. Whatever images you hold consistently in your mind have a tendency to show up in your life. If the Mind Movies you are watching are the type that go straight to video and then end up in the bargain bin, then contact me and I’ll give you a ticket to a better film (using the magic of hypnotherapy.)

To hear a podcast of this blog, check out episode 45 at www.Tedinyourhead.com.

Ted

Social Anxiety: How to Feel Comfortable Socially

Social anxiety

The first time I went to a business mixer, I was so nervous about meeting other people, that after getting a drink, I went and stood in a corner next to another guy who also seemed to have the same problem. That’s where I stayed the whole night.

Have you ever walked into a social situation with fear or dread about what you will say or do in front of other people? If so you have experienced social anxiety. 

Social anxiety is a feeling of discomfort or fear in social situations where a person is concerned about being judged or evaluated. There’s usually an intense fear of what others are thinking about them.

Social anxiety is typically a part of childhood development, and most kids grow out of it. If they don’t, however, it can turn into chronic social anxiety in the teenage years or even into adulthood.

Of course, we want to be sensitive to social norms, and we expect to be judged to some extent on how we are dressed, how are act, what we say and how we interact with others. This is a normal part of the social process. If this fear of the expectation of others becomes too severe it can affect a person’s quality of life.

Social anxiety that is chronic and disabling is called social anxiety disorder. This is social anxiety that interferes with a person’s daily activities. According to Harold Leitenberg in the  (1990) “Handbook of Social and Evaluation Anxiety”, roughly 40 million American adults 18 years or over have an anxiety disorder.

People that suffer from social anxiety usually feel all the symptoms of anxiety including:

  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Sweaty palms
  • Trembling
  • Dry mouth

There is the tendency to have negative and unrealistic thinking:

  • I’m such a loser.
  • Everybody is looking at me.
  • Everybody knows that I’m nervous
  • I don’t belong here.

This leads to unproductive behaviors such as:

  • Arriving then leaving quickly
  • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with social situations
  • Excessive grooming so that they look “perfect”
  • Spending too much  time on phones or devices or hiding in a corner to avoid contact.

Almost everyone can benefit from healthy social interaction. Avoidance because of social anxiety not only leaves one alone and isolated, but can affect self esteem and result in lost opportunities for meaningful personal and business relationships.

You can learn to be comfortable in social situations and release social anxiety. It takes practice.

Here are some tips for dealing with social anxiety.

  • Become aware of when your social anxiety gets triggered. Is it at the supermarket? Parties? Meetings? Get clear about when your feel the most uncomfortable. You can then be better prepared for those situations.
  • Take someone with you. When I got back from the mixer that I told you about, my wife asked me how many people I met. I said “None”. She went with me to the next mixer and introduced me around. It really helped. Find someone that is more outgoing than you are, and have them help you meet people and show you how it’s done.
  • Ask questions. If you are concerned about what to day in a social situation,get good at asking questions. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Ask questions such as: What do you do? Where are you from? What made you come here today? Get people talking and you won’t have to fumble for things to say.
  • Create a script. Have a script of things you want to say or talk about. Don’t wing it, be prepared with questions you can ask or topics you can talk about.
  • Make sure you eat. Social anxiety can be triggered by being hungry. If you are going to put yourself into a situation where there might be some social anxiety, make sure you eat something before you go.
  • Practice. Find someone you trust and practice making conversation comfortably. Or join  clubs or take classes where you will become “desensitized” to social anxiety through exposure to situations where you will be meeting new people.
  • Mental rehearsal. Before you go into a social situation, imagine yourself feeling calm, relaxed and comfortable. Take some time to relax your body. See yourself having interesting conversations, smiling and having fun.
  • Be realistic in your thinking. Are people really judging you? Is everybody really looking at you? How do you now the other people are better or smarter than you? Examine and try to replace thoughts that don’t serve you with positive affirmations such as “I can do this!”

As a hypnotherapist, I help people deal with social anxiety. I offer a complementary 30 minute phone consultation. If you are ready to release social anxiety, don’t wait any longer. You can contact me by clicking here.

Ted

Photo by Durdana shoshe

Are You a Single Professional Woman with Money Anxiety?

money anxiety

According to a recent survey by a multinational financial services company, 49% of woman that responded, including high income earners, have money anxiety. They fear becoming broke and homeless.

A professional woman that becomes suddenly single due to death, divorce, or separation can find herself overwhelmed with fear and money anxiety. It can be difficult to focus on financial security because of the demands of work and family.

Being overwhelmed by money anxiety can can lead to three major mistakes with serious consequences:

  • Inability  to address money concerns because of fear and avoidence.
  • Loss of confidence in the ability to create abundance
  • Failing to plan for the future.

Release Money Anxiety!

On February 21st, I’ll be presenting a workshop designed for the single professional  woman on her own on how to release money anxiety and create a “money mindset.”

This event, called “Attracting Abundance: Creating a Money Mindset for Single Professional Women” will be held  at the Fuller Seminary Guest and Conference Center located in Pasadena from 9 am to 12:30 pm. The cost will be $77 dollars to attend. Click here to register.

Participants will discover how to create a “money mindset”; a confident feeling of belief and power that allows you to attract opportunity, wealth and prosperity. With the help of powerful exercises and techniques, you can develop the thinking and actions you need to take control of your financial future and release fear and money anxiety.

In this workshop you will also discover:

  • What money really is and what attracts it and repulses it.
  • How to identify thought patterns, beliefs and habits that are keeping you in stuck in scarcity and how release them.
  • How to release money anxiety.
  • How to quickly develop the habits and beliefs that create prosperity consciousness.
  • How to avoid the most common mistakes people make with money
  • How to become “magnetic” to money and what to do with it.

Click here for more information and to register!

This event is designed for the single professional  woman on her own who desires to release fear and anxiety about money anxiety as well as worry, fear, and negativity about money.

If you are a single professional women dealing with money anxiety, you it to yourself to check out this event. It’s only $77! Click here for more information. Click here to learn more.

Hope to see you there,

Ted

Questions? Contact me by clicking here.

Fear of Public Speaking: Worse than Death?

Fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death

I’ll help you get out of that speech…

 

It’s been said that fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death for some people.

I’m not sure how many people have the fear of public speaking so bad that they would rather die, but many people do consider speaking in front of a group on par with a root canal on the list of their favorite activities.

Nobody is born a good public speaker. As with all fears, fear of public speaking is learned, and what is learned can be unlearned. When someone says “I have a fear of public speaking because I’m not a good speaker” all they are really saying is “I haven’t developed the skills to be an effective speaker.” Becoming comfortable in front of a group is a skill you can learn.

You may someday be called upon to speak to a group, maybe at a wedding or funeral. In today’s business environment, you will almost certainly be required to give reports or presentations to colleagues or clients. If so, consider learning to speak in public as necessary part of your personal and professional development.

If you are someone who gets the fight or flight response (sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, inability to think clearly) when asked to speak to a group, the good news is that you can learn to overcome the fear response and speak comfortably. It doesn’t  have to be  stressful. Many people who once suffered from fear of  public speaking  have gone on to become very good speakers.  Here are some other things to remember:

  •  You don’t have to be a master orator in order to be effective. You just need to be yourself. Don’t try to be or think of yourself as a “public speaker”.
  • The audience is on your side, wanting you to succeed.
  • The chances of you loudly passing gas, fainting, throwing up, totally forgetting what you were going to say or  the audience throwing stuff at you rarely happens and if it does, you can probably make a joke out of it.
  • You don’t need to memorize a lot of information or even impart a lot of information. That’s what notes and handouts  are for.
  • It’s ok to feel a little nervous, that’s natural.

Of course, there are different levels of fear of public speaking. On one end of the spectrum, you might be challenged by social anxiety disorder to the point where even talking to someone one on one is a problem. On the other end, you may feel  fear or nervousness that makes the prospect of public speaking just another stressful thing  in  your life. Either way, if you want some help, click here to contact me.

Tips for dealing with fear of public speaking

  •  Practice but don’t over- prepare. Have an outline for what you are going to say. Put your notes on 3×5 index cards that are numbered in order. Practice saying the words out loud. Practice in front of someone you trust that can give you some feedback is one of the best ways to deal with fear of public speaking. Record yourself to see what vocal tics you might want to work with. Practice in front of a mirror.
  • Don’t be boring. The worst sin you can commit as a speaker is making people wish they were somewhere else. Although there are many situations where one may need to speak, try to craft your message to your audience so that what you tell them has some impact on them.
  • Humor is good. People want to laugh, and when they do, you’ll  feel a lot more comfortable. Just use common sense to avoid offending your audience.
  • Humility is good. Don’t try to come across as an expert if you aren’t. Even if you are, remember, people don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care.
  • Make sure you eat something. Diet and your level of anxiety are intimately related. Don’t go in front of a group on an empty stomach or over-caffeinated.
  • Monitor the conversation in your head so that it supports you. It doesn’t help to say things like “I just know I’m going to screw this up.” or “I have so much fear of public speaking!”. Be realistic in your expectations and show this in your language to yourself. “I can do this, it’s only ten minutes.”  or “This is a great opportunity to show my stuff.”
  • Do a little mental preparation before you speak. Psyche yourself up, see yourself doing great, give yourself some positive suggestions.
  • Use EFT to release anxiety.

I help people  let go of the anxiety and  fear of public speaking that keeps them from getting ahead. If you want to excel as a public speaker, there’s a lot of instructional material out there including books, DVDs and audio programs.   Toastmasters is the most well known and respected venue for people to hone their skills, and I highly recommend that you check out your local chapter. Check out Barbara Rocha’s programs as well. If you have a fear of public speaking, you CAN learn to be comfortable whenever you’re called upon to “show your stuff.”

Ted

If you want to hear a podcast of this blog with a funny story, go to tedmoreno.com/podcast, episode 32.

Click Here For a Free Guide to Relieve Anxiety

 

31 Scary Questions to Ask Yourself

 

It’s all about scary this week as we approach Halloween and Day of the Dead. 

It’s a time when it’s fun to be scared, as long as we know that it’s just a movie, or someone dressed up as the walking dead.

Truth is, there are plenty of really scary things out there.  But by far, the scariest things are those that we hide from ourselves, the things that we are afraid to deal with.

Unresolved issues that haunt us, pain we can’t seem to release, resentment that traps us in unhappiness. These are the monsters under the bed, the goblins that we spend so much energy keeping locked in the closet, for fear of what they might do if looked at them.

Of course,  once we turn on the bedroom light, look under the bed and throw the closet door open, we find that there is nothing to fear.

Shining the light of our awareness on those things that we don’t want to deal with allows us to see them clearly.Then we can take the opportunity to clean them up or straighten things out.

Asking yourself a few scary questions can help you transform an unseen ghoul into Casper the Friendly Ghost. (Who really just wants to lend a helping hand.)

Ask yourself these 31 scary questions and see if any of them make you a little freaky. If so, perhaps you are starting to exorcise some demons! Keep asking yourself those questions and see what comes up.

31 Scary Questions to ask yourself.

  1. Am I happy?
  2. If I’m not, am I waiting for something to happen to be happy?
  3. Is it possible for me to decide to be happy now?
  4. Do I know what I want?
  5. Have I given up on getting the things I  want that are truly important to me?
  6. What fear keeps me from living the life I want?
  7. Have I become cynical, negative, or resigned?
  8. Do I like myself?
  9. Am I able to quickly name 10 great things about me?
  10. Am I taking care of myself?
  11. If no, do I feel I’m worth taking care of myself?
  12. Am I getting the love and attention I want and need?
  13. Do I have fun regularly?
  14. Do I have fulfilling social interactions?
  15. Am I expressing myself honestly and authentically?
  16. Is there someone I need to forgive?
  17. Is there resentment burning inside of me  that I need to resolve or express in a healthy, productive manner?
  18. Is there a negative belief that I need to  release or let go of?
  19. Is there a change I need and should make NOW?
  20. Why am I here?
  21. Is there a valid reason for the things that I am doing that are stressful and overwhelming?
  22. Am I giving me the me time  I need?
  23. Do I have regular moments of peace, calm and tranquility?
  24. Do I have frequent feelings of gratitude?
  25. Do I complain a lot?
  26. Do I hang around negative people that bring me down?
  27. Is my work meaningful and fulfilling?
  28. Do I compare myself to others and find it creates despair?
  29. Am I caught up in a lifestyle that I  feel is not meaningful to me?
  30. Am I happy with the answers I have to these questions?
  31. If not, what can I do today to change?

Perhaps a few of these scary questions brought up some stuff. You might not be able to answer some of these scary questions in the way you feel you should or would like to.

If so, copy those scary questions and paste them into a word or notepad etc. document. Delete all the questions that don’t have an emotional charge for you. Keep deleting until you have about 5 or 10 of the biggest, baddest scary questions that are giving you the heebie jeebies.

Now keep these questions where you will see them. Maybe write them down on a 3×5 card and carry them around with you. Keep asking yourself these scary questions with awareness so that you can move beyond fear, negative self- judgement and shame and into the possibility of changing the answers.

For instance, to the question: “Do I like myself?” you might answer “No! I don’t! And it really sucks! I hate that I don’t like myself! 

See if you can move into non-judgement: “OK, I don’t like myself. I’m probably not the only one. I’m not a terrible person because I don’t like myself. But I want to like myself. So what can I do to begin to like myself?” 

See how many of those scary questions you can bury by committing to some action. Bless and release old ways of being that no longer serve you and that are ready to be laid to rest. Then continue on your journey, a little more confident, on your way to an attitude of gratitude.

Need some help on your journey? You can contact me by clicking here.

Ted

How To Put Yourself Into A Hypnotic Trance

hypnotic-spiral-picture

 

Well for starters, you can register for Self Hypnosis for Success and take control of what goes into your mind!  The class begins January 24th from 9 am to 10:30 am at Pasadena City College in Pasadena, CA.  Click here to register.

Or, you can go into hypnotic trance by being overwhelmed. Too much noise, too much activity,  too much to do, too much going on. If it becomes to much to deal with, your mind will seek to escape by going into what we call a hyper-suggestible or trance state, aka hypnotic trance. Think “running around like a chicken without a head.”

Hypnosis is a natural state we all experience. We’re in hypnosis half an hour before we go to bed and half an hour before we wake up. Perhaps you know people that walk around all day in a hypnotic trance? Perhaps you?

Watching the news on television can put you into a  hypnotic trance under uncontrolled conditions. You go into a hypnotic trance by sitting still, fixing your gaze on the talking heads, and having a passive mental attitude. Television news is designed to provoke emotions. Most of the time these emotions are  fear, sadness or anger. You may have an inner commentary about these emotions such as “That’s terrible!” “Oh my God, how sad.” “I hate those (liberals, conservatives, politicians, etc)!” Think about how this affects your mental state and how you view the world.

Learn to Put Yourself into a Hypnotic Trance

Do you really want to learn how to put yourself into a hypnotic trance? Register for my Self Hypnosis for Success class starting on September 20 at 9 am at Pasadena City College. The class continues on the 27th and October 4th from 9 to 10:30.  To register, click here.

Use the power of self hypnosis to:

  • Have the mindset and attitude for success in business and personal life.
  • Get rid of procrastination that keeps you stuck and in a rut.
  • Feel less self-conscious and more relaxed and confident in social and professional situations.
  • Increase sales through higher confidence and less call resistance.
  • Get relief from stress, anxiety and fear.

Learning self hypnosis is the most powerful way of using the hypnotic trance for your benefit. Register for Self Hypnosis for Success and take control of what goes into your mind!  The class begins January 24th from 9 am to 10:30 am at Pasadena City College in Pasadena, CA.  Click here to register.

Hope to see you there,

Ted

 

How to Ease Anxiety About Dental or Doctor Visits

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Want to learn how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits? Watch this video.

I was recently asked by Dr. Jack Von Bulow of Temple City Dental Care to give a presentation on how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits.

We all know that to maintain our dental and physical health, we need to pay regular visits to the dentist or doctor.

However, many people are prevented from getting the care they need because of the fear and anxiety they have about going to the dentist or the doctor or even thinking about a doctor or dental visit.

In this video recording of my presentation on July 30th, I discussed five simple things that you can do to ease anxiety about dental or doctor visits.

Download handouts on how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits.

 

Handouts were available at the event,  including “5 Things You Can Do to Be More Comfortable, Calm and Relaxed When Visiting Your Doctor or Dentist” and Dr. Jack has generously provided them for download on his website.

You can get them by clicking here.

If you do even one of the five things I’ve suggested, you will get some relief. If you do all of them, you may experience a definite reduction in your fear and anxiety. I’ve even provided step by step instructions on the steps to take leading up to your appointment.

If you know anybody that suffers from fear and anxiety about going to the doctor or dentist, please forward this information to them.

Ted

 

 

 

 

The Shackles of Shame

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Shame. Say the word out loud and feel it’s intense power.

The root of the word shame is thought to come from an older word meaning to cover, as in covering oneself. When we feel shame, we cover ourselves, literally and figuratively.

Eve was said to cover herself in the Garden of Eden when she realized she was naked. She became ashamed of her natural physical form, the essence of her human-ess.

 Shame

Eve After the Fall, Auguste Rodin.
(Photo by MichaelLovesArt)

When we are shamed as children we are uncovered and our error is exposed; “Shame on you!”  or “You should be ashamed of yourself.” Yet, like Eve, as children we are often shamed for what is natural to us, i.e picking our nose, touching ourselves, or hitting our siblings.

The affect of shame, either taken on by oneself or given to us by others, can be subtle but devastating and long lasting. We can stuff shame down so deep inside that it becomes covered even to ourselves.

Yet the effect, like the word, is powerful. The lengths we will go to cover and hide our shame can keep us from ever fully living life. It is very hard to be happy carrying the ball and chain of shame.

We can become bound by the shame of who are or who we are not, what we do and what we don’t do, what we’ve done or what we failed to do, where we are in life or where we are not.

We can become so bound by shame that we stop moving, stop trying, stop expressing, stop loving. We will go into emotional hiding. We will go to great lengths to avoid anyone seeing us for who we think we are. God forbid we are uncovered as a fallible human being.

The Antidote for Shame

The antidote for shame is self forgiveness. We can accept our humanity, which includes the experience of triumph as well as failure. We can make amends, write a letter, seek absolution, apologize and ask for forgiveness.

And we must be willing to fail again. We must be willing to acknowledge that living fully means often falling short of the mark (the original meaning of “sin”). But first we must be willing to uncover the shame to ourselves, then to another. This takes courage and a desire to be free from hiding who and what we are.

“Shame corrodes the very part of us that believes we are capable of change.” 

~Brene Brown (click on the link for her TED talk on shame.)

Thanks for reading,

Ted