8 Easy Tips for Dealing with Social Anxiety– Episode 429

The first time I went to a business mixer, I was so nervous about meeting other people, that after getting a drink, I went and stood in a corner next to another guy who also seemed to have the same problem. That’s where I stayed the whole night. I went home and my wife asked me how it went and I told her it didn’t. She went with me the next time and that made it a lot easier.

Have you ever walked into a social situation with fear or dread about what you will say or do in front of other people? Has it got to the point where you avoid these kinds of circumstances? If so, you have probably experienced social anxiety. 

Social anxiety is a feeling of discomfort or fear in social situations where a person is concerned about being judged or evaluated. There’s usually an intense fear of what others are thinking about them.

Social anxiety is typically a part of childhood development, and most kids grow out of it. If they don’t, however, it can turn into chronic social anxiety in the teenage years or even into adulthood. And if you find that you need to be around people for your work, this can be highly distressing and an impediment to making valuable business connections. On a personal level, you might be craving connection or have the desire to go to parties or get-togethers but the idea seems overwhelming and way too scary for you.

Of course, we want to be sensitive to social norms, and we expect to be judged to some extent on how we are dressed, how we act, what we say and how we interact with others. This is a normal part of the social process. However, if this fear of the expectation of others becomes too severe it can affect a person’s quality of life, quality of relationships, and the ability to achieve success.

Social anxiety that is chronic and disabling is called social anxiety disorder. This is social anxiety that interferes with a person’s daily activities. According to Harold Leitenberg in the (1990) “Handbook of Social and Evaluation Anxiety”, roughly 40 million American adults 18 years or over have some type of anxiety disorder.

People that suffer from social anxiety usually feel all the symptoms of anxiety including:

  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Sweaty palms
  • Trembling
  • Dry mouth

But even more of an issue is that there is the tendency to have negative and unrealistic thinking:

  • I’m such a loser.
  • Everybody is looking at me.
  • Everybody knows that I’m nervous
  • I don’t belong here.

This in turn can lead to unproductive behaviors such as:

  • Arriving then leaving quickly
  • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with social situations
  • Excessive grooming so that they look “perfect”
  • Spending too much time on phones or devices or hiding in a corner to avoid contact like I did at my first business mixer.

Almost everyone can benefit from healthy social interaction. Avoidance because of social anxiety not only leaves one alone and isolated but can affect self-esteem and as I mentioned before, can result in lost opportunities for meaningful personal and business relationships.

I’m more of an introvert. I’d prefer to stay home, read a book, listen to music and avoid crowds and rooms filled with people, especially ones I don’t know. However, it became obvious to me early on that I needed to develop the skills that were necessary for growing my business and that those skills involved talking and connecting to people I don’t know while presenting myself as confident, approachable and in control. I learned those skills and it wasn’t really that hard, but it did take practice. owe

You can learn to be comfortable in social situations and release social anxiety if you are willing to practice and be ok with being uncomfortable.

Here are some 8 easy tips for dealing with social anxiety.

  1. Become aware of when your social anxiety gets triggered. Is it at the supermarket? Parties? Meetings? Get clear about when you feel the most uncomfortable. You can then be better prepared for those situations. Mental preparation is the key here.
  2. Take someone with you. As I mentioned, when I got back from the mixer that I told you about, my wife asked me how many people I met. I said “None”. She went with me to the next mixer and introduced me around. It really helped. Find someone that is more outgoing than you are and have them help you meet people and show you how it’s done. Find a wingman or wingwoman or wingperson.
  3. Ask questions. If you are concerned about what to say in a social situation, get good at asking questions. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Ask questions such as: What do you do? Where are you from? What made you come here today? Get people talking and you won’t have to fumble for things to say.
  4. Create a script. Have a script of things you want to say or talk about. Don’t wing it, be prepared with questions you can ask or topics you can talk about. Sounds weird but it’s incredibly helpful. Practice saying the words at home.
  5. Make sure you eat. Social anxiety can be triggered by being hungry. If you are going to put yourself into a situation where there might be some social anxiety, make sure you eat something before you go even if you don’t feel hungry, have something with protein.
  6. Practice. Find someone you trust and practice making conversation comfortably. Or join clubs or take classes where you will become “desensitized” to social anxiety through exposure to situations where you will be meeting new people. Toastmasters is an organization where you can learn to speak articulately and confidently in front of people. Got to Toastmasters.org to find a chapter near you.
  7. Mental rehearsal. Before you go into a social situation, imagine yourself feeling calm, relaxed and comfortable. Take some time to relax your body. See yourself having interesting conversations, smiling, and having fun. The key here is to get your mind familiar and comfortable with these situations. Practice feeling any discomfort and moving through it and letting it go by breathing deeply.
  8. Be realistic in your thinking. Are people really judging you? Is everybody really looking at you? How do you know that other people are better or smarter than you? You don’t! The reality is that most people are in their own heads thinking about themselves. Examine and try to replace thoughts that don’t serve you with positive affirmations such as “I can do this!” Affirmations can be very useful to help you change your negative self talk.

 

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

Ok, I hope you found this helpful. I want to assure you that you can overcome social anxiety. If you want support, let me tell you that hypnotherapy is an excellent way to gain more confidence, greater ease and greater enjoyment in social or business networking situations. Request a complimentary consultation at https://tedmoreno.com/contact. We’ll talk about what’s going on, I’ll answer any questions you have, and we’ll explore if working together is the best path forward for you.

As always, let me leave you with a quote. This one is by Norman Vincent Peale

“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.”

Thanks for listening and have a great day.

Top 5 Things You Can Do Today to Lessen Your Anxiety – Episode 428

(Want to hear the podcast on this topic? Go to TedinYourHead.com or tedmoreno.com/podcast)

As a hypnotherapist and anxiety specialist for 20 years, I’ve not only learned a lot about anxiety, but I’ve also seen things that I lot of people that have anxiety have in common.

Today we’re going to talk about 5 simple things you can do today to lessen your anxiety. First, let’s talk about what anxiety is.

According to the Mayo Clinic, anxiety is often described as sustained, excessive worry that a person cannot control related to the anticipation of a future threat, such as a traumatic event.

Generally,  anxiety  is your body’s natural response to stress. It’s a feeling in your body and mind of fear or worry. This can be caused by a few different factors ranging from genetics to the physiological state of your body to what’s happening in your environment.

Anxiety is your body’s fight/flight response getting activated. This is our protective defense mechanism which prepares us to literally run away or fight. It is both a physiological response as well as a psychological response.

If you have anxiety or your have experienced anxiety, you know the physical symptoms:

  • Sweaty palm
  • Shakiness
  • Disorientation
  • Shortness of breath
  • A feeling of not being in your body,
  • Increased heart rate
  • Dizziness
  • Pain in the chest or upset or pain in the stomach

These are just the physical symptoms. If you have chronic anxiety that’s been going on for a long time, then you might also experience a range of emotional issues as well, such as poor sleep, irritability, fatigue, excessive worry, and even panic attacks.

Chronic anxiety can get in the way of our ability to achieve our goals and live a life of peace and happiness. But even situational anxiety can be debilitating such as social anxiety test anxiety or driving anxiety for example.

The good news is that there are a few things you can start doing today that will help you with your anxiety. Here are 5 of the most important things that I’ve identified and recommend to my clients.

  1. When are feeling anxious our breathing tends to be short, quick and shallow. This means that your nervous system is what we call hypervigilant, or on the look for danger. You can shift your nervous system from fight or flight to rest and digest by taking some long slow deep breaths. Long and slow is the key here. Bring your attention into your body and focus on your breath. This will also help you get out of your head and get you some distance from the thing that is making you anxious. If you struggle with anxiety, I highly recommend that you go on YouTube and search for breathing exercises for anxiety and practice them daily. This could be a game changer for you.
  2. Practice Yoga. Yoga’s origins can be traced back to 5000 years ago. The word yoga means yoke or union, also sometimes interpreted as control, as you would control two oxen with a yoke. We’re talking here about bringing together the mind and body or as the ancient yoga texts from India suggest, union with the supreme. Yoga is a complex subject and there are many schools of yoga. What I’m referring to is what the Western world knows as Hatha yoga which is based on postures know as asanas, for physical fitness, stress-relief and relaxation. Personally, I can’t recommend yoga enough for overall mental and physical health. You can get a book, take a class, or watch videos. I’ve done it all, and my current yoga practice is a series of postures that I got from Instagram. Yoga can help you to get our of your head and into your body, so that you can deal directly with the physical symptoms of anxiety with greater control and a calmer mind.
  3. Eat Regularly. How you eat and what you eat can have a profound impact on how you feel. If you are skipping meals, you run the risk of episodes of low blood sugar. Do you ever feel “hangry” when you haven’t eaten? It’s when you are hungry and angry and irritable because your blood sugar is low. But low blood sugar (blood glucose) because you haven’t eaten in a while can trigger anxiety. Many phobias start as episodes of low blood sugar. For instance, say you are getting on an airplane. You didn’t get much sleep last night because you were packing, so you were rushing around in the morning trying to get to the airport, so you skip breakfast. When you get to the airport, you gulp down some coffee and a donut and the Dunkin Donut franchise. This spikes your blood sugar. So, you’re sitting on the airplane when your body says, “Whoa, too much blood sugar!” When your blood sugar drops as your body tries to bring it down, this triggers anxiety. Now you associate that anxiety with being on an airplane (or elevator, or in a car, or driving over a bridge, etc.) and now you have fear of flying. So I recommend that you eat three meals a day with protein, avoid high carb meals, and if you think caffeine is making you nervous, then it probably is. Cut down or cut it out completely. Alcohol can also increase anxiety, so try cutting down or stopping completely and see how you feel.
  4. Get More Sleep. Your mind is like a cup. You can only fill a cup with so much before it starts running over and you have a big mess. Your mind is the same way. It has a certain capacity. All the stresses and issues and problems fill up your mind. At night when you are sleeping, one of the jobs that your mind has is to empty the cup. Take out the trash, so to speak. If you are not getting enough sleep, which is 8 hours for adults, then your mind is not getting the release it needs. That’s when we start to feel overwhelmed because there’s too much going on in the mind. Overwhelm can trigger anxiety. Check out my podcast episode 419, How to Stay Out of the Bad Kind of Hypnosis.
  5. Positive Self Talk. Also known as thought reframing, this is where you practice talking to yourself in a way that you are not scaring the poop out of yourself if you know what I mean. Essentially, you are training your mind to focus on what will go right, what you can overcome and how you want it to be, as opposed to the thought of worry and fear. We can get into the habit of catastrophic thinking, doom and gloom expectation and a pessimistic outlook. This can be changed.
    For instance, if you are spending a lot of time in the “What If Pit” such as “What if this bad thing happens!” you can ask yourself “Well, what if something good thing happens?” Or you can reason with yourself and say, “I don’t know what’s going to happen, so it makes no sense to get scared or worried about something that hasn’t happened yet.” If you practice this type of self-talk or thought reframing, you’ll get better at it and it will become a new habit that can help you feel a lot more calm and at ease.

 

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

So there you go. I hope that’s helpful to you. Of course, if you want to explore hypnotherapy to help with anxiety, which can be very effective by the way, feel free to request a complimentary phone consultation by going to tedmoreno.com/contact-us.

As always, I’ll leave you with a quote by Kahlil Gibran: “Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.”

Ted

The Wounded Child Inside of You – Episode 421

The “Inner Child” is a concept developed by CG Jung and further developed over the years by both pop psychologists and analytical psychology. It represents the childlike aspects of each of us. Ideally, we are connected with the wonder, joy and excitement of our inner child. However, if we have experienced childhood trauma, our inner child can become a wounded child, resulting in feelings in adulthood of shame, guilt, anxiety and other negative emotions. In this episode, Ted discusses signs that your inner child may be a wounded child, and more importantly, how to heal that part of you.

 

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now:

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >
Doing inner child work can be some of the most powerful healing that you do.  Request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/

The Top 7 Things to Do to Manage Driving Anxiety – Episode 413

A recent survey showed that 66% of Americans suffer from driving anxiety which is fear and anxiety associated with driving. Whether it’s fear of the highway, surface streets, bridges, high speeds, the claustrophobia that come from feeling “trapped” you car, driving anxiety can be debilitating for anyone that needs to drive. As an expert in helping people with driving anxiety, Ted talks about 7 things you can do to begin to manage this very common fear.

 

 

 

Listen to this podcast episode now

 

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

P.S.

Having trouble feeling comfortable while driving? Request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/

How to Avoid the Fog of Overwhelm Part II

Overwhelm

In my last post, Avoiding the Fog of Overwhelm Part I, I discussed the state of overwhelm, what it is, how it happens and how it affects us.

To recap briefly, overwhelm happens when there is too much information (message units) coming into our conscious awareness. Our minds only have a certain capacity, like a cup that you can only pour so much water into. When are minds are filled to capacity, and stuff keeps pouring in, we lose the ability to cope.

At this point, our ancient survival mechanism, that good old fight or flight, gets triggered. When that happens we become what is known as “hypersuggestible” which means that we are susceptible to whatever is coming into our minds. We are actually in a state of hypnosis, but the suggestions we are giving ourselves are not positive, like the positive suggestions you get in a hypnotherapy session.

Usually, when we are overwhelmed, there is an accompanying state of stress; the conversations we are having in our heads are usually negative conversations. So, when we are overwhelmed, we can literally be programming ourselves for negativity and fear and we end up with a reinforcing cycle of overwhelm.

Each persons’ response to the state of overwhelm varies, ranging from a complete shutdown where someone might just slump into a chair and begin to cry, to irritability or anxiety, or to a feeling of being disoriented or “spaced out”, which I call the fog of overwhelm.

The end result is the same: we become ineffective in dealing with the challenges of life. We may lose the ability to be focused and on task, turn to avoidance or procrastination, or begin to feel anxious or depressed.

It’s important to note that for many of us, the modern American lifestyle lends itself to consistent feelings of being overwhelmed.

So what can we do to avoid the fog of overwhelm? Most of the things we can do involve basic self care.

  1. Get adequate sleep and take naps if you need to. Remember how your mind is like a cup? Every day it gets filled up with tension, pressure and the stress of living. Sleep is the time for your mind to empty the cup. Strive for a healthy sleep schedule and avoid stimulants such as caffeine, electronic devices, and working out just before bed.
  2. Don’t skip meals. Some people are prone to anxiety and overwhelm due to low blood sugar. Blood sugar, or blood glucose, is the main fuel for your body. Your brain uses more glucose than any other organ in your body. Do you ever get that feeling of lethargy or lack of focus in the late afternoon? Take a break and eat something with protein.
  3. Take breaks. Taking regular breaks throughout the day allows your mind to process incoming information more effectively. Breaks are scientifically proven to boost productivity and focus. Consider working in hour or 90 minute spurts, then taking a short five or ten minute break. This includes taking regular vacations and days off.
  4. Exercise. I know, you’re tired of hearing it, but exercise allows our body and minds to release tension and stress. If nothing else, get up and walk around.
  5. Meditation, yoga and other mindfulness practices. Powerful ways to feel more calm and more focused more often.
  6. Focus on one thing at a time. Multitasking can create overwhelm. Your focus is sharpest when it’s narrow and concentrated. One thing at a time: first this, then that.
  7.  Keep your vices in check. Alcohol and marijuana are hypnosis inducing drugs, not only when you are under the influence, but the next day as well. Check in with yourself to see if you need to make some changes in these habits.
  8. Count yourself out of hypnosis/overwhelm. When you find yourself overwhelmed, and starting to stress out, count yourself out of that negative state. Say out loud to yourself, if you can, “12345 Eyes open wide awake!” Clap or rub your hands together to get back into your body and out of your head.  This really works.

Take some time to go down this list and see what you can tweak and make better. You’ll find that you’re happier, more focused and productive, and a lot nicer to be around.

Having trouble sleeping? Challenged by anxiety? Need motivation to exercise? Click here to contact me for a free 30 minute consultation. 

Photo by Sb2s3

Avoiding the Fog Of Overwhelm Part I

fog of overwhelm

An example of overwhelm: driving in the worst fog I’ve ever encountered, many years ago. I couldn’t see anything except the two red brake lights of the car ahead of me. I couldn’t see the lines of the road, and I dared not pull over to the side of the road for fear of being hit by another car. All I could do was keep my hands on the wheel, pray that the car in front of me knew where he was going, and hope that I would be able to see the sign for my exit.

I had no point of reference. I was overwhelmed by the fog and unable to do anything but hurtle through the mist, wishing for some clarity.

It reminds me of the time I was at IKEA, the furniture store, for the first time. They had the coolest stuff I’d ever seen. I wanted to see everything but apparently so did everyone else because the place was packed with people. However, after 2 hours, all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. I literally wanted to run for the door, shove aside anyone in my way, and go find something to eat. I was getting more and more irritated by the minute and I felt like I wanted to scream, but I also felt like I was going to shut down at any minute. Ever felt like that?

I was overwhelmed. If you’ve ever felt this way, then you have experienced the fog of overwhelm.

Are you saving enough for retirement? Are the tires on your car in good shape? Have you called your mother yet? Are you ready for that event? What about taxes? Have you returned that phone call? When are you going to clean your house, fix the faucet, call the insurance guy, talk to your boss, pay that overdue bill, and schedule a physical? What are you going to fix for dinner tonight if you ever make it off this damn freeway?

This is the overwhelm of modern life.

From the time we wake up, to the time we manage to lay our heads down, we must think, remember, plan, manage time, deal with people, get lots of stuff done and hopefully, eat three meals and try to breathe.

There’s a potential cost to this: we spend our lives in a haze, irritable that we can’t see our way out, lost in a fog, stuck on a track with no scenery, with little choice to pull off because we’re too tired, too confused or too uncertain.

Here’s why: your mind has a certain capacity; like a cup, it will only hold so much. Continue to fill it past it’s capacity and you’ll have a big mess.

From the time we wake up, our minds start getting filled up. Our minds are designed to handle many incoming messages. Let’s call each bit of incoming information a ” message unit.” Your mind also has a filter (critical mind) that is designed to disregard things that don’t matter.

What determines how many message units our minds can handle? Many things: how much sleep you get, what you eat, your health, your level of organization, your level of confidence, your past, your genetics, to name a few.

Let’s say you went to bed too late, and woke up late for work. Now you are rushing around, no time to eat breakfast. You’re running late, and traffic is terrible. You try to text your boss but you almost hit the car in front of you. You arrive at work and there’s an important meeting that you are supposed to be in. You need a cup of coffee but there’s no time to get one. You end up working through lunch and now you are starving, tired, and headache cranky. That’s a lot of messages units coming into your mind.

What happens when you are in overwhelm? 

Your mind cannot take in more information because you are incapable of dealing with the onslaught of message units. You are experiencing the fog of overwhelm.

At this point, your critical mind, the part of your mind that is designed to deal with incoming message units,  is failing. You no longer have the ability to critically deal with what’s coming at you. You are now running around like the proverbial chicken without a head. Message units are flowing into your mind unchecked, like a dam that has burst. Guess what happens next?

Your flight or fight response, that ancient survival mechanism designed to prepare you to run or fight, kicks in. Congratulations, you are now in hypnosis. 

The technical definition of hypnosis is: an overload of message units, disorganizing the critical mind, triggering the fight/flight response, creating a state of hyper-suggestibility, creating access to the subconscious mind.

However, this is not the good kind of hypnosis where a nice gentlemen like myself is speaking to you gently using positively wonderful suggestions while you recline in a comfy happy chair.

Nope. This is the bad kind of hypnosis where you can’t think straight, can’t see straight, can’t make a decision to save your life, and you are giving yourself positively dreadful suggestions like “I can’t stand this, how did I get here, I want to kill someone, I’m so tired, I’m so angry and irritable, I hate this, and all I want to do is run screaming out of here before I punch someone out.” (Did I mention that in this state you’re hyper-suggestible which means super open to suggestions?)

It’s quite difficult to be effective in the fog of overwhelm because there is no clarity and you are like a zombie. Difficult to make the right decisions, difficult  to keep your cool when someone gets snarky with you, because you are now reactive rather than pro-active. But it’s easy to forget stuff, let things slip through the cracks, and easy to allow negativity or anxiety to overtake you.

Think about how many people are in this state on a daily basis. 

So what can we do? How do we handle the fog of overwhelm when we are so turned around we’ve lost our bearings and there are no signposts available? I’ll talk about this in my next post “The Fog of Overwhelm Part II.” Stay tuned. 

p.s. Check out my podcast Ted In Your Head Episode 21 “Are You a Zombie?”

Also, check out the podcast of this blog at my podcast Ted in Your Head Episode 40

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Social Anxiety: How to Feel Comfortable Socially

Social anxiety

The first time I went to a business mixer, I was so nervous about meeting other people, that after getting a drink, I went and stood in a corner next to another guy who also seemed to have the same problem. That’s where I stayed the whole night.

Have you ever walked into a social situation with fear or dread about what you will say or do in front of other people? If so you have experienced social anxiety. 

Social anxiety is a feeling of discomfort or fear in social situations where a person is concerned about being judged or evaluated. There’s usually an intense fear of what others are thinking about them.

Social anxiety is typically a part of childhood development, and most kids grow out of it. If they don’t, however, it can turn into chronic social anxiety in the teenage years or even into adulthood.

Of course, we want to be sensitive to social norms, and we expect to be judged to some extent on how we are dressed, how are act, what we say and how we interact with others. This is a normal part of the social process. If this fear of the expectation of others becomes too severe it can affect a person’s quality of life.

Social anxiety that is chronic and disabling is called social anxiety disorder. This is social anxiety that interferes with a person’s daily activities. According to Harold Leitenberg in the  (1990) “Handbook of Social and Evaluation Anxiety”, roughly 40 million American adults 18 years or over have an anxiety disorder.

People that suffer from social anxiety usually feel all the symptoms of anxiety including:

  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Sweaty palms
  • Trembling
  • Dry mouth

There is the tendency to have negative and unrealistic thinking:

  • I’m such a loser.
  • Everybody is looking at me.
  • Everybody knows that I’m nervous
  • I don’t belong here.

This leads to unproductive behaviors such as:

  • Arriving then leaving quickly
  • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with social situations
  • Excessive grooming so that they look “perfect”
  • Spending too much  time on phones or devices or hiding in a corner to avoid contact.

Almost everyone can benefit from healthy social interaction. Avoidance because of social anxiety not only leaves one alone and isolated, but can affect self esteem and result in lost opportunities for meaningful personal and business relationships.

You can learn to be comfortable in social situations and release social anxiety. It takes practice.

Here are some tips for dealing with social anxiety.

  • Become aware of when your social anxiety gets triggered. Is it at the supermarket? Parties? Meetings? Get clear about when your feel the most uncomfortable. You can then be better prepared for those situations.
  • Take someone with you. When I got back from the mixer that I told you about, my wife asked me how many people I met. I said “None”. She went with me to the next mixer and introduced me around. It really helped. Find someone that is more outgoing than you are, and have them help you meet people and show you how it’s done.
  • Ask questions. If you are concerned about what to day in a social situation,get good at asking questions. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Ask questions such as: What do you do? Where are you from? What made you come here today? Get people talking and you won’t have to fumble for things to say.
  • Create a script. Have a script of things you want to say or talk about. Don’t wing it, be prepared with questions you can ask or topics you can talk about.
  • Make sure you eat. Social anxiety can be triggered by being hungry. If you are going to put yourself into a situation where there might be some social anxiety, make sure you eat something before you go.
  • Practice. Find someone you trust and practice making conversation comfortably. Or join  clubs or take classes where you will become “desensitized” to social anxiety through exposure to situations where you will be meeting new people.
  • Mental rehearsal. Before you go into a social situation, imagine yourself feeling calm, relaxed and comfortable. Take some time to relax your body. See yourself having interesting conversations, smiling and having fun.
  • Be realistic in your thinking. Are people really judging you? Is everybody really looking at you? How do you now the other people are better or smarter than you? Examine and try to replace thoughts that don’t serve you with positive affirmations such as “I can do this!”

As a hypnotherapist, I help people deal with social anxiety. I offer a complementary 30 minute phone consultation. If you are ready to release social anxiety, don’t wait any longer. You can contact me by clicking here.

If you want to listen to a podcast of this blog, go to TedinYourHead.com Episode 58

Ted

Photo by Durdana shoshe

Are You a Single Professional Woman with Money Anxiety?

money anxiety

According to a recent survey by a multinational financial services company, 49% of woman that responded, including high income earners, have money anxiety. They fear becoming broke and homeless.

A professional woman that becomes suddenly single due to death, divorce, or separation can find herself overwhelmed with fear and money anxiety. It can be difficult to focus on financial security because of the demands of work and family.

Being overwhelmed by money anxiety can can lead to three major mistakes with serious consequences:

  • Inability  to address money concerns because of fear and avoidence.
  • Loss of confidence in the ability to create abundance
  • Failing to plan for the future.

Release Money Anxiety!

On February 21st, I’ll be presenting a workshop designed for the single professional  woman on her own on how to release money anxiety and create a “money mindset.”

This event, called “Attracting Abundance: Creating a Money Mindset for Single Professional Women” will be held  at the Fuller Seminary Guest and Conference Center located in Pasadena from 9 am to 12:30 pm. The cost will be $77 dollars to attend. Click here to register.

Participants will discover how to create a “money mindset”; a confident feeling of belief and power that allows you to attract opportunity, wealth and prosperity. With the help of powerful exercises and techniques, you can develop the thinking and actions you need to take control of your financial future and release fear and money anxiety.

In this workshop you will also discover:

  • What money really is and what attracts it and repulses it.
  • How to identify thought patterns, beliefs and habits that are keeping you in stuck in scarcity and how release them.
  • How to release money anxiety.
  • How to quickly develop the habits and beliefs that create prosperity consciousness.
  • How to avoid the most common mistakes people make with money
  • How to become “magnetic” to money and what to do with it.

Click here for more information and to register!

This event is designed for the single professional  woman on her own who desires to release fear and anxiety about money anxiety as well as worry, fear, and negativity about money.

If you are a single professional women dealing with money anxiety, you it to yourself to check out this event. It’s only $77! Click here for more information. Click here to learn more.

Hope to see you there,

Ted

Questions? Contact me by clicking here.

Fear of Public Speaking: Worse than Death?

Fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death

I’ll help you get out of that speech…

 

It’s been said that fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death for some people.

I’m not sure how many people have the fear of public speaking so bad that they would rather die, but many people do consider speaking in front of a group on par with a root canal on the list of their favorite activities.

Nobody is born a good public speaker. As with all fears, fear of public speaking is learned, and what is learned can be unlearned. When someone says “I have a fear of public speaking because I’m not a good speaker” all they are really saying is “I haven’t developed the skills to be an effective speaker.” Becoming comfortable in front of a group is a skill you can learn.

You may someday be called upon to speak to a group, maybe at a wedding or funeral. In today’s business environment, you will almost certainly be required to give reports or presentations to colleagues or clients. If so, consider learning to speak in public as necessary part of your personal and professional development.

If you are someone who gets the fight or flight response (sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, inability to think clearly) when asked to speak to a group, the good news is that you can learn to overcome the fear response and speak comfortably. It doesn’t  have to be  stressful. Many people who once suffered from fear of  public speaking  have gone on to become very good speakers.  Here are some other things to remember:

  •  You don’t have to be a master orator in order to be effective. You just need to be yourself. Don’t try to be or think of yourself as a “public speaker”.
  • The audience is on your side, wanting you to succeed.
  • The chances of you loudly passing gas, fainting, throwing up, totally forgetting what you were going to say or  the audience throwing stuff at you rarely happens and if it does, you can probably make a joke out of it.
  • You don’t need to memorize a lot of information or even impart a lot of information. That’s what notes and handouts  are for.
  • It’s ok to feel a little nervous, that’s natural.

Of course, there are different levels of fear of public speaking. On one end of the spectrum, you might be challenged by social anxiety disorder to the point where even talking to someone one on one is a problem. On the other end, you may feel  fear or nervousness that makes the prospect of public speaking just another stressful thing  in  your life. Either way, if you want some help, click here to contact me.

Tips for dealing with fear of public speaking

  •  Practice but don’t over- prepare. Have an outline for what you are going to say. Put your notes on 3×5 index cards that are numbered in order. Practice saying the words out loud. Practice in front of someone you trust that can give you some feedback is one of the best ways to deal with fear of public speaking. Record yourself to see what vocal tics you might want to work with. Practice in front of a mirror.
  • Don’t be boring. The worst sin you can commit as a speaker is making people wish they were somewhere else. Although there are many situations where one may need to speak, try to craft your message to your audience so that what you tell them has some impact on them.
  • Humor is good. People want to laugh, and when they do, you’ll  feel a lot more comfortable. Just use common sense to avoid offending your audience.
  • Humility is good. Don’t try to come across as an expert if you aren’t. Even if you are, remember, people don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care.
  • Make sure you eat something. Diet and your level of anxiety are intimately related. Don’t go in front of a group on an empty stomach or over-caffeinated.
  • Monitor the conversation in your head so that it supports you. It doesn’t help to say things like “I just know I’m going to screw this up.” or “I have so much fear of public speaking!”. Be realistic in your expectations and show this in your language to yourself. “I can do this, it’s only ten minutes.”  or “This is a great opportunity to show my stuff.”
  • Do a little mental preparation before you speak. Psyche yourself up, see yourself doing great, give yourself some positive suggestions.
  • Use EFT to release anxiety.

I help people  let go of the anxiety and  fear of public speaking that keeps them from getting ahead. If you want to excel as a public speaker, there’s a lot of instructional material out there including books, DVDs and audio programs.   Toastmasters is the most well known and respected venue for people to hone their skills, and I highly recommend that you check out your local chapter. Check out Barbara Rocha’s programs as well. If you have a fear of public speaking, you CAN learn to be comfortable whenever you’re called upon to “show your stuff.”

Ted

If you want to hear a podcast of this blog with a funny story, go to tedmoreno.com/podcast, episode 32.

Click Here For a Free Guide to Relieve Anxiety

 

How to Ease Anxiety About Dental or Doctor Visits

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Want to learn how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits? Watch this video.

I was recently asked by Dr. Jack Von Bulow of Temple City Dental Care to give a presentation on how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits.

We all know that to maintain our dental and physical health, we need to pay regular visits to the dentist or doctor.

However, many people are prevented from getting the care they need because of the fear and anxiety they have about going to the dentist or the doctor or even thinking about a doctor or dental visit.

In this video recording of my presentation on July 30th, I discussed five simple things that you can do to ease anxiety about dental or doctor visits.

Download handouts on how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits.

 

Handouts were available at the event,  including “5 Things You Can Do to Be More Comfortable, Calm and Relaxed When Visiting Your Doctor or Dentist” and Dr. Jack has generously provided them for download on his website.

You can get them by clicking here.

If you do even one of the five things I’ve suggested, you will get some relief. If you do all of them, you may experience a definite reduction in your fear and anxiety. I’ve even provided step by step instructions on the steps to take leading up to your appointment.

If you know anybody that suffers from fear and anxiety about going to the doctor or dentist, please forward this information to them.

Ted