Is Your Phone Stealing Your Life? – Episode 515

Is Your Phone Stealing Your Life? – Episode 515

Greetings!

Thank you so much for being here today. I genuinely appreciate you!

Quick note before we get started. If you’re new to the podcast, let me tell you a little about myself.

I’ve been a certified hypnotherapist for 23 years. My work is all about helping people change the patterns that keep them stuck. Anxiety. Bad habits. Negative thinking. Low self-esteem. The kind of stuff that lives below the surface in the subconscious mind and quietly drives the bus whether we realize it or not.

I use the tool of hypnosis to help people update that subconscious programming so that their deeper mind starts working for them instead of against them. If that sounds like something you could benefit from, stick around to the end and I’ll tell you how to get in touch.

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But for now, let’s get into today’s episode. And I want to start with a question.

When was the last time you sat outside and just looked at the sky?

Not took a photo of it. Not posted it. Just sat there and looked at it.

When was the last time you walked through a park or along a trail and actually noticed what was around you, without the urge to pull out your phone?

For a lot of us, those moments are becoming much more rare. And I think that’s worth talking about.

THE WORLD IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND

We are living in an extraordinary time. The technology available to us right now is genuinely remarkable. We have the world’s information at our fingertips. We can reach out and connect with virtually anyone on the planet in seconds. We can know in real time what is happening anywhere in the world.

And our phones have become the primary tool for all of it.

They are our maps, our cameras, our newspapers, our libraries, our entertainment systems, our social lives, and our alarm clocks. They are with us from the moment we wake up to the moment we close our eyes at night.

And therein lies the problem.

Because here is something I want you to think about. We have traded looking at the sky for looking at a screen. We have traded watching a sunset for scrolling through photos of other people’s sunsets. We have traded sitting under a tree and feeling the breeze for sitting on a couch bathed in blue light, wondering why we feel so disconnected and empty.

We were designed and built for a much bigger world than the one that fits inside a four-inch screen.

And I think somewhere deep down, most of us know that. The truth is that we are hypnotized by our screens.

ARE WE ADDICTED?

Let me ask you something else. And I want you to be honest with yourself.

How many times a day do you pick up your phone without really meaning to? You just reach for it. Almost automatically. Like a reflex.

How does it feel when you don’t have your phone with you? Do you feel anxious? Uncomfortable? Like something is missing?

Have you ever been in a beautiful place, or a meaningful conversation, and found yourself distracted by the pull of your phone?

If any of that sounds familiar, you are not alone. Not even close.

Research suggests that the average person picks up their phone somewhere between 58 and 80 times a day. Some studies put it even higher. And the average American spends somewhere between four and seven hours a day looking at their phone. That adds up to somewhere between one and two months out of every single year.

One to two months. Staring at a screen.

And here is something that I find particularly striking. According to the American Psychological Association, people who are constantly checking their digital devices report significantly higher levels of stress than those who check less often. About 42 percent of them say they worry about the negative impact social media is having on their physical and mental health.

Cell phone addiction is a real thing. It is recognized by psychologists and researchers as a genuine behavioral addiction. And like all addictions, it works by hijacking the brain’s reward system. Every notification, every like, every new piece of content triggers a little hit of dopamine. And the brain, being the pattern-seeking machine that it is, learns very quickly to keep coming back for more.

The phone companies know this. The social media platforms know this. Their entire business model depends on keeping your attention as long as possible. They have entire teams of engineers and psychologists working on ways to make their products more compelling, more addictive, more impossible to put down.

And most of us are walking around completely unaware that we are being played.

THE COST

So, what is all of this actually costing us?

Quite a lot, it turns out.

On the physical side, excess screen time has been linked to insomnia and disrupted sleep, headaches and eye strain, back and neck pain from looking down at our devices, and a general reduction in physical activity. There was a piece in the New York Times a few years back suggesting that putting down your phone might actually help you live longer. And when you think about the sedentary, indoor, screen-focused lifestyle that phone addiction encourages, that’s not hard to believe.

On the mental and emotional side, heavy phone and social media use has been consistently linked to increased anxiety, depression, loneliness, and low self esteem. Particularly in young people. The research on this is pretty sobering.

But I think the cost that doesn’t get talked about enough is this one.

Our phones are keeping us from our lives.

Half of parents polled in one study said they feel less connected to their families because of their devices. Less connected. To the people sitting right next to them.

We are in the most connected era in human history. And so many of us have never felt more alone.

WE LIVE IN BOXES

I want to share something from an earlier episode of this podcast that has always stuck with me. Because I think it captures something important about where we are right now.

We live our lives in boxes.

Think about it. We wake up in a box. We eat breakfast in a box. We drive to work in a box. We sit in an office, which is a box. We come home to another box. And then we spend our evenings staring at boxes. The television. The computer. The tablet. The phone.

Box after box after box.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, we have forgotten that there is an entire world outside. A world that is vast and beautiful and alive. A world that does not require a wifi connection or a password or a subscription.

A world that is, quite literally, good for us.

WHAT NATURE DOES FOR US

Here is something that is not a matter of opinion. It is a matter of science.

Spending time outdoors, and in nature in particular, has measurable, documented benefits for our physical and mental health.

Being in nature lowers stress hormones. It reduces blood pressure. It boosts the immune system. It improves mood and reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression. It enhances creativity and focus. It improves sleep. There is even a body of research around a practice called forest bathing, which originated in Japan, that documents the profound healing effects of simply being among trees.

Simply being among trees. Not hiking. Not exercising. Just being there.

There is something about the natural world that speaks to something very deep in us. Something ancient. Something that remembers, on some level, that this is where we came from. That the sky and the trees and the water are not just scenery. They are home.

And as Rachel Carson once wrote, there is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature. The assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter.

We need that assurance right now more than ever.

MY OWN EXPERIENCE

Let me get personal for a minute, because I think it’s important.

I walk four or five times a week at a park near my home. There’s a lake there. And those walks have become one of the most important parts of my week. Not because I’m getting a great workout, although that’s nice too. But because something happens when I’m out there that doesn’t happen anywhere else.

I slow down. I notice things. The way the light hits the water. The sound of the birds. The feeling of the air. I come back from those walks feeling more like myself. More grounded. More clear.

I’ll be honest with you. I went through a period where I was listening to podcasts on every single walk. And look, I love podcasts. Obviously. But I noticed that when I was plugged in the whole time, I came back feeling a little less restored than when I just walked and listened to music, or walked in silence and paid attention to what was around me.

There’s something about being truly present in nature, without a screen or a podcast filling every moment, that is genuinely restorative in a way that nothing else quite matches.

And I think most of us are starving for that without even realizing it.

WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT

So, let’s talk about what you can actually do. Because awareness is great, but it needs to lead somewhere.

The first thing I want to suggest is just to notice. Start paying attention to your phone habits. How often are you reaching for it? What triggers it? Boredom? Anxiety? Habit? Just noticing, without judgment, is always the first step.

The second thing is to set some boundaries with your phone. This doesn’t have to be dramatic. Start small. Maybe you decide that for the first thirty minutes after you wake up, the phone stays down. Or maybe you create a no phone zone at the dinner table. Or you charge your phone in another room at night instead of right next to your bed.

Small changes, consistently applied, add up to big shifts over time.

The third thing, and this is the one I really want to encourage, is to get outside. Every day if you can. Even for just a few minutes.

Start with five minutes sitting on your porch or in your backyard. Or a short walk around the block. If there’s a park nearby, go there. If there’s a lake or a river or a trail, even better.

You don’t have to hike or camp or do anything extreme. Although those things are wonderful if you enjoy them. Just get outside. Wander around. Look up. Notice the sky. Notice the trees. Notice how the air feels.

And here is the challenge I want to offer you: when you go outside, leave the phone in your pocket. Or better yet, leave it at home. Resist the urge to take photos. Resist the urge to check messages. Just be there.

Because here is the thing. The sky is not going to look better through your phone camera than it does through your own eyes. The sound of the birds is not going to be more beautiful on a recording. The feeling of the sun on your face cannot be captured in a post.

Some things are meant to be experienced, not documented.

The fourth thing is to find someone to go with. A walk is even better with a friend or a family member. Leave the phones behind and just talk. Really talk. You might be surprised how good that feels.

The fifth thing is to consider a screen fast. Even just one day a week without your phone. I know that probably sounds almost impossible. But I promise you, the world will not end. And you might just discover something about yourself and your life that the screen has been blocking from view.

The sixth thing is to be mindful of your evening screen time. The blue light from our devices suppresses melatonin, which is the hormone that helps us fall asleep. Putting the phone down at least thirty minutes before bed is one of the simplest and most effective things you can do for your sleep and your overall wellbeing.

And finally, if you find that you genuinely cannot control your phone use, that you reach for it compulsively even when you don’t want to, that it is interfering with your relationships, your work, or your peace of mind, please take that seriously. That is addiction. And like any addiction, it responds to the right kind of help. Hypnotherapy, by the way, can be very effective for breaking compulsive habits and addictive patterns. Just saying.

(For a complimentary phone consultation, reach out to me at https://tedmoreno.com/contact-us/)

A FINAL THOUGHT

I want to leave you with something to think about.

We are living on a planet that is breathtakingly beautiful. A planet with mountains and oceans and forests and deserts and skies that change color at dawn and dusk in ways that no screen has ever come close to replicating.

And we are spending more and more of our time looking at small glowing rectangles.

There is nothing wrong with technology. It is a remarkable tool. But like any tool, it serves us best when we are in charge of it, rather than the other way around.

You get to decide how much of your life you give to the screen. And how much you save for the sky.

Start today. Put down the phone. Step outside. Look up.

Your life is out there waiting for you.

If today’s episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little more peace of mind.

You can watch this on video here at YouTube. Or, Listen to this podcast on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Soundcloud.

Here’s a great quote: “Disconnect to reconnect.” — Unknown

Until next time, remember: your mind is powerful. Use it on purpose. And take care of yourself, because the world needs the best version of you.

Ted