Are You Living Your Life or Just Thinking About It? – Episode 512

Here’s a question I want you to sit with for just a moment:

Right now — at this very moment — are you actually here?

Or are you somewhere else?

Because here’s the thing. Your body is always here. Your body has no choice. It can only exist in the present moment. But your mind? Your mind can be anywhere and everywhere. It can be replaying a conversation from three days ago. It can be rehearsing a conversation that hasn’t happened yet. It can be worrying about next month, regretting last year, or freaking out about something it has absolutely no control over.

And while your mind is doing all of that — your life is happening. Right here. Right now. Without you.

That’s what today’s episode is about.

Are you living your life — or are you just thinking about it?

Let’s dive in.

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THE MOVIE METAPHOR

I want to start with something that I think perfectly illustrates what’s happening for most of us most of the time.

Think about the last time you went to the movies. (I went to the movies last night and saw Obsession, great flick!)

You sat down in a dark room, the lights went down, and within minutes — you were gone. You forgot you were sitting in a building. You forgot you were watching light projected onto a flat screen. You got scared, or excited, or maybe you even cried. All over something that wasn’t real. Something that was, literally, an illusion.

That’s hypnosis. And it happens to all of us, every single day — not at the movies, but in our own minds.

As a hypnotherapist, I work with people every day who want to be free. Free from anxiety. Free from old patterns. Free from thoughts and feelings and behaviors that aren’t serving them. And what I help them see is that all of those things — every single one of them — exist as the content of the mind.

Thoughts. Beliefs. Worries. Stories. Memories. All of it — content.

And just like at the movies, we get so hypnotized by the content that we completely forget about the context. We forget that we are the ones watching. We forget that we have a choice.

We get so caught up in the movie of our lives that we forget we’re the ones sitting in the theater

ECKHART TOLLE

Now, I want to talk about a book that has genuinely changed my life. I’ve read it five times and I still find new things in it every time I pick it up.

It’s called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. And if you have read it, maybe it’s time to read it again.

Here’s a little background on Tolle. He spent much of his early life in a state of deep depression and anxiety. Then, at the age of twenty-nine, he underwent what he describes as an inner transformation — an experience so profound that it completely shifted his relationship with his own mind. He spent several years after that in what he called a state of deep bliss before eventually becoming a spiritual teacher.

Now, you might be thinking — okay, that sounds nice for Eckhart, but what does that have to do with me?

Everything. Because what Tolle discovered for himself — and what he teaches — is something that is available to every single one of us.

Here’s one of my favorite quotes from the book:

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”

Read that again. The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation — it’s your thoughts about it.

Think about that for a second. How much of your suffering is actually caused by what’s happening — and how much is caused by what you’re telling yourself about what’s happening?

And here’s the one that really gets me:

“What a liberation to realize that the voice in my head is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.”

The voice in your head is not who you are.

That is one of the most radical and liberating ideas I have ever encountered. Because most of us — most of the time — completely identify with that voice. We think we ARE our thoughts. We think that because we’re thinking something, it must be true.

But here’s the truth: most of what we think is theory. Opinion. Belief. Habitual patterns of thinking that we’ve carried around for so long we’ve stopped questioning them.

You are not your thoughts. You are the one who is aware of your thoughts. And that awareness — that is where your real power lives.

THE RIVER METAPHOR

I want to give you an image that I find really helpful when things get overwhelming.

Imagine you’re in a canoe on a river. You’re paddling hard, trying to navigate, trying to avoid the rocks, trying to get where you’re going. You’re focused on the current, on the obstacles, on the destination. You’re in it. Fully in it.

Now imagine pulling your canoe over to the bank. You step out, sit down on the grass, and you just watch the river flow.

You’re not in it anymore. You’re watching it. And from that place on the bank, everything looks different. You can see the whole river. You can see where the rocks are. You can see the current. You can breathe.

That’s the shift I’m talking about. From being in the river — swept along by every thought, every worry, every drama — to sitting on the bank and just watching it all flow by. Just being the witness.

And you what? The river never stops. Life never stops. The thoughts never completely stop. But when you can step back and watch — even for a few moments — everything changes.

As Bob Dylan wrote in Watching the River Flow:

“As long as it does, I’ll just sit here and watch the river flow.”

There’s a wisdom in that. A peace in that. The river keeps going — and you don’t have to be swept away by it.

JED MCKENNA

Now I want to bring in another teacher whose work has had a big impact on me. His name is Jed McKenna.

Jed is unconventional. He’s provocative. He doesn’t sugarcoat things. He’s not for everyone. And one of his central ideas is this:

Most people are sleepwalking through their lives.

Not metaphorically sleepwalking. Actually sleepwalking. Going through the motions. Reacting to everything. Identified with every thought and feeling and story. Never stopping to question whether any of it is actually true. Never stopping to ask: wait — who is the one experiencing all of this?

Jed would say that waking up — really waking up — is the most important thing a human being can do. And waking up means exactly what it sounds like. It means stopping the sleepwalk. It means becoming conscious. It means asking the hard questions about what is real and what is just the content of a conditioned mind.

Now, that might sound a little intense. And honestly, Jed can be a little intense.

But the core idea is simple and it’s powerful: you have the ability to wake up. Right now. In this moment. You don’t need to wait for a special experience or a spiritual retreat or years of meditation practice.

You just need to stop — and look.

CONTENT VS. CONTEXT

Okay, so let’s talk about this idea of content versus context, because I think it’s the key to everything we’ve been discussing today.

Content is the stuff of your life. Your thoughts. Your feelings. Your beliefs. Your story. Your past, your future, your goals, your fears, your identity. All of it — content. Always changing. Always moving. Like the river.

Context is the awareness that all of that content arises in. It’s the screen that the movie is projected onto. It’s the riverbank. It’s the part of you that is always present — always watching — even when you’re not aware of it.

Here’s a simple example. Take anger.

When something happens and we get angry, we tend to say “I am angry.” And in that moment, we become the anger. We are completely identified with it. And then we pile on — “I shouldn’t be angry. Why am I angry? I hate feeling angry.” Which is just more content. More fuel on the fire.

But what if instead you said: “I am aware of the feeling of anger arising in me right now.”

Do you feel the difference? You’re no longer the anger. You’re the one noticing the anger. You’ve shifted from content to context. From being lost in the movie to sitting in the theater watching it.

Or take fear. “I am afraid” makes you the fear. But “I am aware of the experience of fear” — that puts you back in the observer seat.

And here’s what’s fascinating: when you stop fighting the feeling and just observe it — it changes. It shifts. Because all content is transitory. It’s always moving. Fear, if you stay with it and don’t resist it, can transform into courage. Then into confidence. Then into competence.

What you resist persists — because you’re putting energy into it. But what you observe with awareness — that you can actually work with.

Jim Carrey said something once that I absolutely love. He said:

“I used to be a guy who was experiencing the Universe. But now I feel like the Universe experiencing a guy.”

The guy is content. The Universe is context.

And here’s the invitation: what if — even just for a moment — you could shift from being the guy or gal, to being the Universe experiencing the guy or gal? From being lost in your story, to being the vast awareness in which the story is unfolding?

That’s not just philosophy. That’s freedom.

THE SCOTTSDALE STORY

Let me bring this down to earth with a personal story.

Back in 1987, I was living in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was working as the general manager of a sales team, and I had been in a serious sales slump for a couple of weeks. Not a great situation when your job depends on results.

I walked into work one morning and my boss took one look at me and said — and I quote — “I can see failure written all over your face. You have dead eyes. You’re not bringing that attitude of despair and negativity in here. Go home and get your head straight. Go. Now.”

So there I was, driving home in the middle of the morning, feeling about as low as I’d felt in a long time. Defeated. Embarrassed. Lost in my head. Running the same painful story over and over.

And then something happened.

I was driving through Scottsdale Arizona and I passed a lake with a beautiful fountain shooting high up into the air. It was a gorgeous spring day. And one of my favorite songs came on the radio: That’s Just the Way it Is.

And something shifted.

For just a moment, I got out of my head. I looked around and realized — life is actually good. The sun is shining. There’s a beautiful fountain. My favorite song is playing. Nothing about my sales slump had changed. But my relationship to it had completely changed.

I teared up a little. I went home. I called my mom just to say hi.

And the next day I went back to work and started selling like a fiend.

What happened? I stopped being completely identified with the story. I stepped back — even briefly — and got present to the moment that was actually in front of me. And from that place, I had access to something I didn’t have when I was lost in my head.

I had access to myself.

That’s the power of the present moment. It doesn’t fix your problems. But it gives you back access to the part of you that can actually deal with them.

PRACTICAL TOOLS

Okay, so how do we actually do this? How do we step back from the content of our minds and get present to the moment we’re actually in?

Here are a few simple practices that I find genuinely helpful.

The first one is the observer practice.

Start noticing your thoughts instead of just thinking them. When you catch yourself spinning out — worrying, replaying, catastrophizing — just name it. Say to yourself: “anxiety starting up” or “worry movie beginning now.” You don’t have to fix it or fight it. Just notice it. Name it. That simple act of naming what’s happening creates a tiny bit of space between you and the thought. And in that space is your freedom.

The second one is the candle exercise.

This one is simple and surprisingly powerful. Find five minutes where you won’t be disturbed. Put a candle on a table, light it, set a timer for five minutes, and just focus on the flame.

Within about thirty seconds — I guarantee it — your mind will start pulling you away. “I don’t have time for this. I need to remember to call so-and-so. That candle smells good. What am I making for dinner?”

Just notice that happening. Don’t fight it. Just gently bring your attention back to the flame.

What you’re doing is watching the content of your mind roll by without getting attached to it. That’s the essence of meditation. And it gets easier with practice.

The third practice is simply this: ask yourself, right now, am I here?

Not as a judgment. Not as a criticism. Just as a gentle check-in. Am I here? Is my attention in this moment, or has it drifted somewhere else?

You can do this anywhere. Driving. Washing dishes. Having a conversation. Just pause and ask: am I here?

And when you find yourself here — really here — take a moment to appreciate it. Look around. Notice what’s good. Notice what’s beautiful. Notice that you are alive and breathing and present in this extraordinary, ordinary moment. You know what I like to tell myself in that moment? This is so profound. Right here, right now, everything is ok. Everything’s fine.

Because this moment — right here, right now — this is it. This is your life. Not the memory of yesterday. Not the plan for tomorrow. This.

So let me bring it all together.

We live in a world that is absolutely saturated with content. Information, stimulation, noise, distraction — it never stops. And it’s very, very easy to get hypnotized by all of it. To get lost in the movie. To sleepwalk through your days, caught up in thoughts and worries and stories, while your actual life — the real, vivid, present-moment experience of being alive — slips quietly by.

But you have a choice.

You can be the guy — or the gal — lost in the content. Or you can be the Universe, experiencing the guy or gal. You can be in the river, or you can sit on the bank and watch it flow.

You are not your thoughts. You are the one who is aware of your thoughts. And that awareness — vast, quiet, always present — that is who you really are.

The present moment is not just where life happens. It’s the only place life ever happens. The past is a memory. The future is a thought. But right now — this moment — is real. And it’s available to you, always, no matter what’s going on.

So the next time you find yourself lost in your head — and you will, because we all do — just stop. Take a breath. Look around.

And ask yourself: am I living my life right now — or am I just thinking about it?

I’ll leave you with these words from Bob Dylan:

“Oh, this old river keeps on rolling, though
No matter what gets in the way and which way the wind does blow
And as long as it does I’ll just sit here
And watch the river flow.”

Thanks for reading this. If today’s episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little more presence in their life.

You can find me at TedMoreno.com, where you can read the blog version of this episode. You can also watch this on YouTube. I invite you to reach out for a complimentary consultation at Tedmoreno.com/contact.

Until next time — remember: your mind is powerful. Use it on purpose. And take care of yourself — because the world needs the best version of you.