8 Things My 65 Year Old Self Would Tell My 25 Year Old Self – Episode 465

Ted has turned 65 years old and is reminiscing about his life: choices made, opportunities gained and lost, good times and bad times, trying to figure out Medicare…

In this episode, Ted reveals 8 essential and valuable things that he would tell his 25-year-old self if he could with the understanding that his 25-year-old self may not listen…

Perhaps someone you know might benefit from hearing this? Check out this interesting and thoughtful episode dedicated to that young, skinny 25 year old and all young people everywhere.

Listen to this podcast episode now:

I turned 65 this month, which is a milestone, I guess.
For one thing, I now qualify for Medicare. Yay?

I’ve been getting offers in the mail for discounts on Depends.  If you don’t know what Depends are you can look that up.

And despite their repeated invitations, I’ve haven’t joined the AARP just yet. For you youngsters out there, that stands for the American Association of Retired People. And I am neither retired nor ready to retire any time soon thank you.

I’ve also noticed, curiously, people being a little more deferential to me, you know, opening doors for me, letting me go ahead of them, calling me sir. I thought it might be the dazzling, dashing, stylish vibe that I project but I’m pretty sure that’s not it. More than likely it’s the little gray beard and the gray at the temples which makes people either think that I know something that they don’t or that I’m just an old person and you should be nice to old people.

I’ll let you decide how old 65 is, however, I CAN say that I seem to be older than most of the people that I’m around. So maybe I do know something…

At this stage of the game, 65, I’m looking back over my life remembering and thinking about the choices I’ve made. I see my life now as a path going back to 1960.  A lot of things happened. A lot of things went well but a lot of things really sucked, like everybody’s life.  You start thinking “What if I done that differently?”  What if I had made a different choice?”

It’s easy to look back in hindsight with another 30 or 40 years of experience under your belt and say, “Oh yeah, I shoulda, woulda, coulda.” But when all is said and done, all you can do is what you can do with the information you have at the time. We make our choices based on what we know at the time.

And sometimes, if we’re lucky, someone is there to give us more information, guidance and knowledge. And better information at any age can lead to better decisions, obviously.

So, if my 65-year-old self could talk to my 25-year-old self, this is what I would tell that dark haired skinny kid even though I’m not sure he would’ve listened…

First, I’d tell him to take better care of himself. Eat better food. Get just a bit more sleep. Get more exercise. Take better care of your teeth. Watch out for the dark sides of alcohol and drugs. Stay away from troublemakers and toxic people. When your own self-care becomes one of your top priorities, you think better. You do more and you do it better. You feel better about everything including yourself. You have more clarity.

I remember many times when I was in my 20s, having to make a choice between paying my credit card bill and eating, and I would always pay the credit card first.  Then one day as I looked into an empty refrigerator, I thought to myself “What am I doing?” I went out and bought a bunch of good quality food, called the credit card company and guess what? I paid the credit card off in a few months. I could work harder and focus because I wasn’t hungry.

Second, I would tell him “Work on your confidence and self-esteem. Hold yourself up and see yourself as someone that has value. Bless yourself, see yourself as whole and complete even if you’re screwing stuff up. Most importantly, do whatever you can to let go of any thought or feeling that you’re less than or not good enough. That kind of thinking is deadly, and you need to do everything you can to change it.”

Third, I would stress the importance and value of accomplishment. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. Strive for something above just getting by. Nothing in life worth having comes easy, hard work and sacrifice are needed. Have goals that you want to accomplish even if they are simple, such as getting out of bed before a certain time or exercising regularly or reading every day.  I would tell him that the most important goal or aspiration should be that of his own personal self-development, his own personal transformation. To work on becoming better, smarter, more motivated, and more productive.

The fourth thing I would say would be to encourage him to be persistent and not to give up so easily. Every master once was a disaster. Not being good at something while learning it is uncomfortable but be willing to be uncomfortable while you learn. Keep moving forward and realize that failure is a necessary part of success.

Number 5, learn to manage your time. Next to your health your time is your most valuable asset.  Manage it and learn to use it wisely. It will become so much more valuable as you grow older. Learning to deal effectively with procrastination is a must because it will stop you like nothing else will. Learn to take action as quickly as you need to. Balance productivity with rest and relaxation. ( Although I must add here that resting  and relaxation were not really things I had to struggle to achieve, they came very naturally to me!)

Next, I would say, don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to do it on your own, there are people out there that are willing to help you or at least give you valuable information.

I was told by a person much smarter than me that my biggest problem was that I was not open to the contribution of others because I thought I knew everything. (This of course was in my 20s.) And it was true. I had to be the smart guy, the know-it-all and I certainly was not going to listen to what anybody else had to say about it.

However, when I finally realized that I didn’t know much of anything and in many ways couldn’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground, I started to seek the counsel of people smarter and more experienced than me and people that had more knowledge than me.

One of the earliest memories of doing this was when I wanted to be a long-distance trucker. I’d just seen the movie White Line Fever with Jan Michael Vincent, and it romanticized long distance trucking as a cool life on the road. Well one day I met a long-distance trucker, and I asked him. I said “Hey I’m thinking about being a long-distance trucker. What do you think?” He said “Don’t do it, it’s a terrible job. You’re never home, you’re always eating crappy food. You don’t get paid much for the trouble and all that sitting leads to hemorrhoids.” So, he was discouraging. That was just his opinion, but it was the only opinion I had so I chose not to become a long-distance trucker. Shout out to those truckers out there who keep the supply chain intact. Gratitude!

Then I thought it would be cool to be radio DJ, so I called one of the radio stations and I actually talked to the DJ. This was back in the 70s when you could actually talk to Wolfman Jack or some of the other DJs in the LA area so I asked the DJ, I said “Hey I’m thinking about becoming a DJ, what do you think?”

He said, “Don’t do it!” He said “I should’ve gone to law school. Instead, I’m sitting in this chair all day in this little box and it gets boring.”

So, it was helpful to admit I didn’t know and to be able to ask those who did.

Next, I would grab him by his scruffy t-shirt, get right into his face and tell him that the quality of his relationships will determine the quality of his life. I’d say to spend time with quality people, people that treat you well, people that support you, encourage you and inspire you. Get away from those that would tear you down, suck your energy, and take but not give. Cultivate quality relationships because they will be an ongoing source of friendship, love and support and there is no shortcut to this, whether it be a happy successful marriage or a close abiding deep friendship.

Finally, I would tell my 25-year-old self, “Have the courage to be true to yourself. All kinds of people will tell you all kinds of things and what you should do and who you should be. Listen to your own heart, trust your instincts, and have the character to follow your own values, to do what you feel is the right thing to do, even if everyone else is telling you something different. Have the courage to speak out against injustice. Recognize liars and conmen and walk away. Draw boundaries that protect you and stick to them. And always stay connected to the goodness inside of you.”

I would say this is what I’ve learned for a happy healthy life. Like I said before, the 25-year-old me might not have listened, but I like to think that he would at least print these thing about, or save them and maybe, come across it when it was needed the most.

So that’s what I would say if I could, but I can’t and that’s ok, everything turned out pretty good. However, if you know someone, a young man or young woman in their 20s and you think this blog post or podcast episode might be helpful to them, well, why not share it?

Let me leave you with a quote by American poet Nikki Giovanni:

I really don’t think Life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried- to-do.

I don’t mind the failure, but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.”

Thanks so much for reading this.

Ted

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