What Do We do With FEAR? Episode 457

Ted in Your Head · Fear Podcast Episode 457

Let’s talk about fear. It’s a big subject, so we’re not going to do a real deep dive, although I may do a series on the topic of fear. First, let’s make a distinction between two different types of fear.

A few years back, I was a guide on a river trip down in the Grand Canyon. Some of the other more experienced guides asked me If I wanted to do something really cool. I said sure. They took me on a hike which eventually turned into a climb up a very steep canyon wall. I was terrified, but I couldn’t turn back because I didn’t know the way back. We made it to the top of the canyon wall but to this day I remember the almost paralyzing fear I had while climbing what surely must’ve been 60 to 70 feet up a canyon wall.

Several years later, I was sitting in my office balancing my checkbook. It wasn’t looking like I wanted it to look. I felt a huge crushing fear that I was not going to be able to meet my obligations. I started to imagine all the bad things that would happen. Everything turned out ok, though.

These are two different types of fear, on is a very real fear of falling, the other fear was more a result of my imagination and didn’t really have much substance.

Of course, as a hypnotherapist, most of the people that come to me are dealing with some level of fear that is stopping them from feeling what they want to feel and doing what they want to do.

The most important thing to understand about fear is that most of our fear is self-created. I would suggest to you that most of our fear comes from imagined projections into the future about what we think might happen, much of which doesn’t happen. However, because our minds can’t distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined, we have the same fearful reaction to our imagined projections that we would have if they really happened.

There are appropriate times for fear, such as the fear of falling or if there is suddenly a loud noise or we find a snake in our path. But most of us, on a daily basis, don’t really find ourselves facing things that are truly dangerous.

So we want to get a handle on our fear because fear is the biggest thing that will stop us from living a life worth living.

I like the acronym for FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real. We all have the tendency to react to something and make it more than what it is. For instance, we’ll read something in the news, and project into the future dire predictions of what we think will happen when so and so gets elected or this party comes into power or or the economy does this or that. A

lot of this is out of our control, but I think that it’s important to mention here that many media outlets, pundits and talking heads use fear purposely to attract consumers to news outlets.

Or we’ll see some challenge or obstacle in front of us and will immediately start thinking about what will go wrong, how hard it will be, or how badly we will screw it up. When it comes to things that are fearful, we really do seem to focus not on what’s there in front of us, but what we think will happen in the future. And usually, it’s not the best-case scenario. Part of the reason for this is that our minds do not like uncertainty, we want to know what is coming; this is a sort of protective mechanism that prompts us to prepare. Preparation is good, but being paralyzed by fear is not.

Some people think they need to be afraid or anxious to ensure the outcome they want. They think that somehow, worrying and fretting and feeling fearful will keep the bad stuff away. Not only is that not true, but it’s not an effective way to achieve the outcome you want.

What if, when confronted by a challenge, we could imagine the best-case scenario and be inspired to take effective action? If our mind is clear, and our intention is strong, we can prepare, take action, and increase the chances of getting the outcome we desire.

Remember what Franklin Delano Roosevelt, in his first inaugural address, said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

The idea here is to not allow what does not yet exist to suck us into the vortex of fear. Fear can be debilitating. Fear can stop us from taking action. We can allow fear to cloud our judgement and rob us of our power. And as I’ve already mentioned, most of the time, what we fear will never take place.

So, what do we do with fear? We will be afraid, no doubt about it. It’s a normal human emotion and sometimes fear will get the best of us. But I think we can strive to be better in the face of fear.

To do that, we start by acknowledging that we are afraid. Hiding from it, distracting from it, or suppressing it just makes it worse.

We will face challenges that we don’t feel we are prepared for. We will fear for our loved ones, our jobs, our safety and security. I addition, we will have the tendency to look into the future and imagine things that are scary or that we don’t want to happen.

What we want to get good at is being clear about what is real and what is fiction. This might sound like saying to yourself “I feel fear, but right now, in this moment, there is nothing to be afraid of except my own thinking. What thoughts can I think that will give me confidence, courage, and allow me to take effective action in the face of this feeling of fear?

What do we do to not be afraid of fear? We allow it to surface, acknowledge that it’s there, talk to someone about it, ask for help, then deal with it while continuing to move forward. The key here is not hiding from it, not avoiding it, not going around it but instead, going through it. It takes practice, but the key is to allow yourself to feel it without making it mean more than it really is. And what it really is, most of the time, is a feeling that will pass if we can be present and deal with it powerfully. I’ll be writing a lot more about fear as I explore this very real and unavoidable aspect of life.

Are you being challenged or being stopped by fear? Do you want to do something about it? Reach out to Ted for a complimentary consultation by going to https://TedMoreno.com/contact

You can talk to Ted and find out if hypnotherapy and coaching is right for you.

Today’s quote is by Zig Ziglar:

“F-E-A-R has two meanings:

‘Forget Everything and Run,’ or, ‘Face Everything and Rise.’

The choice is yours.”

Thanks for reading and be courageous!

Ted