Scribblings from Close to the Ground: Don’t be a Bootyhead!

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 Welcome to another edition of “Scribblings from Close of the Ground”, wisdom from the mouths of babes, namely, Rocky and The Chick, my two daughters.

R: Hi, Rocky here!

C: And I’m The Chick, we’re Ted’s kids and we’re going to tell you how not to be a Bootyhead!!

R: Ha ha! Bootyhead!! Bootyhead!!

C: Rocky! Stop!

R: Sorry! (hee hee!)

C: Anyway, sometimes when I go to bed, I can’t fall asleep because my mind is all filled up with bad stuff.

R: Like the monsters on Scooby Doo!

C: Sometimes I think about bad stuff or scary stuff and my head gets so filled up that I can’t fall asleep.

R: Then she gets out of bed and whines that she can’t fall asleep and mom and dad get really cranky.

C: Rocky! Anyway, Dad says that if I’m going to use my head for thinking about bad or scary stuff, then I might as well just sit on my head because I’m not using it the right way anyway!

R: Then you’re a Bootyhead!! And you have stinky thinking!!

C: Rocky! I was supposed to say that! Dad says that your head is the smartest muscle in your body and you should use it for thinking about good stuff,  like being the best in school or having lots of fun.

R: Dad says if you use your head for thinking about scary monsters, that’s like using a hammer to beat an egg! I don’t know what that means…

C: It means you’re disrespecting the tool, fool!

R: Fool!! Ha ha ha!

C: So your booty is for sitting on, and your head is for thinking about all the cool stuff you’re going to do, and don’t use your head to make yourself scared or you might as well sit on it, because you’re not using it the way you’re supposed to.

R: Then you’re a Bootyhead and you have stinky thinking! Better get a check-up from the neck up!

C: So now when I go to sleep, I think about playing with my friends, or my favorite toys, or how fun it is to learn how to ride my bike. That makes me feel good and I fall asleep fast.

R: I think about my Papu.

C: That’s her dumb stuffed lamb…

R: Bootyhead! You’re being a Bootyhead!

C: Sorry Rocky. So remember to use the mind in your head for good stuff and think about wonderful things and not bad stuff, because you only have one head and it’s very valuable.

R: Like pirate’s treasure but it’s not buried!

C: This is Rocky and The Chick saying the rule is not to disrespect the tool, fool! Use your head the right way, and that is to make life super cool and fun and to make you happy!  Bye!

Rocky and the Chick

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11 replies
    • Ted A. Moreno
      Ted A. Moreno says:

      Dear Ms. Penners Bergan,
      Thank you for your comment. The term “bootyhead” is legally available for your use in any and all situations, written or spoken, in which the term is deemed appropriate, meaningful and/or humorous. Furthermore, all reasonable efforts have been made to insure the term “bootyhead” is not offensive or libelous to any ethnicity, religious belief and/or affiliation, gender, or sexual orientation. However the author makes no claims to knowledge of any inherent or scholarly meaning , either direct or implied, to the aforementioned term. In addition, the author is not responsible nor shall be held liable for any negative consequence, loss of business, physical injury, or hurt feelings due to the use of the term “bootyhead”. You are hereby advised to use this term at your own risk and assume all liability for any unintended/undesirable consequences.
      Should your use of the term “bootyhead” result in inquiry by any person or persons as to the source or most recent encounter to the term, the author respectfully requests that you refer said person or persons to the blog post dated May 17, 2012, and titled “Scribblings from Close to the Ground: How Not to be a Bootyhead” and that credit is given to the author, Ted A. Moreno, Certified Hypnotherapist.
      Again, thank you for your comment and have a nice day. (-:

  1. Natalie
    Natalie says:

    I had that conversation with the girls again last night. They fell fast asleep once they started thinking about good stuff!

  2. Kyle
    Kyle says:

    Alas, unfortunately there are a whole lot of people in this world with their head up their “booty”, many of them in public office!

  3. Carmelita Moreno
    Carmelita Moreno says:

    Two of the smartest girls I know, and definetly not bootyheads. Good job girls. You go!

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