7 Steps to Change Scarcity Consciousness to an Abundance Mindset – Episode 443

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Scarcity consciousness or a “lack” mentality is often the result of childhood programming and decisions that we make subconsciously. To shift into an abundance mindset requires an awareness of this programming and taking steps to counteract it and create a new way of looking at prosperity. In this episode, Ted shares his experience with having years of scarcity consciousness and how he managed to break out of it. He discusses the 7 steps he took to make it happen. If he can do it, you so can you.

In Deepak Chopra’s book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, he tells a story about the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the guy that founded Transcendental Meditation as well as the guy the Beatles hung out with in India.

The Maharishi wanted to organize a massive pilgrimage and attract hundreds of thousands of people to the event. However, the Maharishi was poor and didn’t have a lot of money. Nevertheless, he continued to plan for the event. One of his organizers, seeing the clear lack of financial resources, approached him. “Sir”, he said, “This is a noble effort, yet it is significant in size and cost. Where will the money come from?” The Maharishi replied, “From wherever it is now.

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When I read this, I was blown away. Talk about faith. Talk about confidence. Talk about a totally different mindset from what most people have.

I don’t know too many people that have this kind of “abundance consciousness”. What seems much more common is “scarcity consciousness”: the feeling that there is not enough. What’s interesting is that this scarcity consciousness seems to have little to do with how much what we actually have.

Examining Scarcity Consciousness

Examining my own life, I’m able to identify some reasons for my own scarcity consciousness in the past. I wonder if any of you can relate.

There were 8 kids in my family, and until I was in the 6th grade my mom stayed at home while my dad worked at his own business. Dad spent a lot of time at work to support eight kids.

As a child, I could see that he was stressed out. It seemed to me that to own a business and try to make money was not a good thing, as it meant you would be stressed out and not be able to spend time with your kids.

I went to a Catholic grammar school and high school. In 12 years of my schooling, there was never any discussion of success, money, how to make it, what to do with it, or why we should even care. In fact, the message I received was quite the opposite: money is the root of all evil, if you want money, you are greedy, and it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.

I entered college with no real goals and certainly no desire to make a lot of money. After slumming my way through college and eventually dropping out, I had a succession of in-home sales jobs which left me struggling financially and in debt.

I got a “real” job in a mall at a Things Remembered store, but got fired because I kept forgetting to turn on the revolving tower of key blanks. When I got into my car to drive home, my car wouldn’t start.

That night I found an ad in the employment section of the newspaper promising “High pay in a rock and roll atmosphere!”

To make a long story short, I took the job, (another in- home sales gig) started making a lot of money, gave my beater car away and bought a used Pontiac Fiero. After a few more months, I lent the Fiero to a friend, and started driving a Porsche. Then I found out that the owners of the company were con men. I quit the job, turned in the Porsche, got back the Fiero (payments were not kept up) and was struggling again. My girlfriend dumped me, I got evicted from my apartment, and my Fiero got repossessed. (Check out episode 439 of my podcast to get the full story.)

At that point, (1987, 27 years old) I remember making five decisions which would reinforce whatever scarcity consciousness I had and impact my life for more than a decade:

· To aspire to make a lot of money means you must cheat people.

· It’s better to be poor (maybe I’ll become a monk…)

· I never want to own a business.

· I never want to get married or have kids.

· I never want to own a house.

In the years that followed, I struggled constantly with a lack of money, but I also did a lot of work on my own personal self development. Somehow, in spite of those experiences and decisions, from 2003 to 2009 I managed to start a business, get married, have kids and buy a house. I had let go of a lot of my scarcity consciousness.

What changed? Here’s what I did:

1. I created desire. I wanted more. I said “I’m tired of being poor.” I started writing down goals. I began to create in my mind what I wanted. Instead of looking at people that had more than me with resentment and envy, I started to ask myself, how can I do that? 2. I started studying the principles of success. I started reading books like Think and Grow Rich, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, and Busting Loose from the Money Game. I started listening to audio recordings by Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Deepak Chopra, Bob Proctor, Jim Rohn. I started learning.

3. I started to talk to myself differently. I stopped calling myself names. I stopped complaining. I stopped being so negative and tried to be more positive. I would say affirmations first thing in the morning and late thing at night. I stopped saying things like I’m broke, I can’t afford it, I have no money. I started to reprogram my mind for abundance by changing what I said in my head and out loud.

4. I started taking better care of myself. I started eating better. I had always put the credit card companies, rent, and car payment first before I bought groceries. I changed that and started buying good food and having food in my fridge. This made such a huge difference. I took myself out occasionally for dinner or lunch at a nice place and that made me feel abundant. Interestingly, I started taking better care of my stuff too, like my car and my apartment.

5. I started to donate money. I figured that I had enough money to donate 15 bucks a month to a children’s charity. That made me feel good. As I looked at how other people in the world lived with much less than me, this made me feel like I was making a difference in the world. It made me feel that I had enough money that I could give some away. This was a game changer.

6. I started seeing myself as abundant. I stopped seeing myself as a broke college kid and started seeing myself as already possessing abundance. I saw a quote recently that said “If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your body, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you’re richer than 75% of the entire world.” It appears that all things being equal, this is true for the most part. Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I started to focus on what I had and how I make my life better.

7. Gratitude. You knew this was coming didn’t you? I became grateful for everything and started affirming how grateful I was daily. Not only for what I had as far as material possessions, which were meager, but for my family, for my health, for the beauty in the world, for my friends, for the good times, and for my life.

But the effects of subconscious programming run deep and exist at a level most of us are not aware of. I’ve become aware that I still have work to do to counteract the negative programming of my early years.

I can’t blame anyone or anything for whatever scarcity consciousness I created for myself. I continue to read, study, do affirmations, seminars, self-reflection, self-hypnosis and a lot of hard work to create a higher level of “abundance consciousness”.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

If you have a lack mentality or scarcity consciousness and you are aware of that, you can do something about it. If you need help, request a free complimentary consultation with me by going to TedMoreno.com/contact. We’ll talk and see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching is the right path for you.

The Privilege of Growing Older – Episode 442

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There comes a point, somewhere in your late 40’s or early 50’s, where you look in the mirror and I becomes clear to you that you are not a kid anymore. What happened? Life happened the way it  should. The only powerful choice we can make in the face of aging is to accept our ongoing journey with grace and dignity. If we can do that, we will find what it takes to continue growing, exploring and living in a way that is always inspiring.

 


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This morning I took my car into the dealership to get the oil changed. While I was standing around in the waiting room eating one of the free donuts, a young lady from the sales department walked up to me. She said “Hi, How are you?”

I said “Ok.”

She said, “Would you do me a favor?”

I said “Ok.”

She said, “I’d like to offer you a demo ride in one of our new cars.”

Now, I didn’t go there for a test drive, but I am thinking about getting another car and giving my car to my daughter who is driving now, and my wife’s been bugging me about dragging my feet about that, so I said sure.

We went for a test drive, and she told me that she had been working there for 3 months. I told her she had a lot of courage to just walk up to someone and offer them a test drive. I sold cars once and it had never occurred to me to do that.

She was maybe in her 20s. She said she was determined to be successful but that she still had a lot to learn. I told her that if she persisted and continued to have confidence that she would be ok. I told her that selling cars can be a cutthroat business and you need to be tough. I told her that she already had the grit and guts to make it happen if she wanted to.

Right then I felt the benefit of all my 64 years of experience. She was at the beginning of her journey, and I already had a lot of miles behind me.

I thought back to my days selling cars and how scary it could be to just walk up to someone and start talking to them. I was shy and kind of introverted, but I was able to move beyond those limitations as I grew older.

Getting older is a privilege, it’s a gift. You get to get old. Growing old is a privilege that’s not available to everyone. Many are “Done too soon” to quote a Neil Diamond song. When informed of their youthful passing, we say, “How sad, they had their whole life ahead of them.” Yet, many of us, when we reach the place of obvious and apparent aging, are more likely to quote the words of MickJagger: “What a drag it is getting old.”

There comes a point, different for everybody, somewhere in your late 40’s maybe early 50s. You look in the mirror and it becomes clear to you, you are not a kid anymore. Or you see a photo of yourself, 10 years ago, obviously looking much different. What happened?

Life happened, as it should, and the only powerful choice we can make is so to accept our ongoing journeys with grace and dignity. I’m talking about being present to all of it, and fully embracing the inevitability of the natural course of life.

Why not celebrate the fact that we have arrived at a chapter of seniority in our story, and commit or re-commit to living life fully and passionately each and every day? After all, there is no guarantee of tomorrow.

I’m in no way suggesting that we embrace slowing down, or that we give up activities that we love, or be resigned in the face of our mortality. I’m suggesting that we have gratitude for however many years of life we have been given.

Aging is challenging, that’s a fact. Aches and pains, necessary surgeries, gaining weight, less energy, friends and family members pass away. We lose things in the process of aging – most obviously youth, a precious commodity in our culture. How can we celebrate the loss of these things that have become so vital to our lives?

I think the key is to step back and see what we have gained: wisdom, experience, life lessons, maybe children, or grown children that are finally able to give back to you. Hopefully, we have gained love, experiences (both good and bad), and a perspective gained only from walking the walk, through the up and down, thick, and thin, rain or snow.

Think about what people go through to stay connected to life, which seems to get more precious when it might not last as long as you thought.

At one time I volunteered at a senior facility, reading the newspaper for a woman, eighty something, who had no practical use of her body. Trapped in her useless body was an incredibly sharp mind; she had been an educator with a master’s degree.

Her family was back east and rarely visited, so she looked forward to our time together. We would talk a lot, and one time I asked her: “Would you rather not be alive?”

She said “I like being alive, in spite of it all. I can still hear the birds and listen to music. I can see the sunlight and trees through the window. I want to live.”

I don’t know if I would have the same attitude. I don’t know if I would be able to celebrate aging if I was chronically sick, or in constant pain or sorrow or depression or hopeless.

But for the grace of God, I’m not. Chances are, neither are you. And if you are, maybe that could change.

I like to look to the natural world for inspiration wisdom. It’s spring now, and things are blooming after a long, cold rainy winter here in Southern California. The trees on my street that are many years older than me have woken from their winter slumber and are starting to bud. This time of year corresponds with the Easter holiday for Christians, which is a time of renewal, new life, and re-birth as celebrated by the resurrection of Jesus. The word Easter comes from the word Oestre, the Germanic spring goddess.

We all have the opportunity for renewal, regardless of how old we are. We still have the ability to change, to grow and to learn something new. The perspective of age can help us to see more clearly what is important and what needs to be released.

I know at least three men, one older than me and two slightly younger who are coming to the realization that spending time with loved ones is more important than working to pay off nice stuff like cars and big houses.

At 64 years of age I’ve started lifting weights, reading more, and exploring new interests.

You can’t allow yourself to get cynical and resigned. As long as you breathe, there is hope for a better day, for a new way and for a new way to play in the fields of your life.

There’s hope for a greater ability to endure the hard times with peace, grace, and dignity, along with the hope of continuing exploration, growth, and joy. I wish this for you and for me.

I’m glad I’ve made it this far, 64 years. At least for today, I’m enjoying the privilege of getting older.

Are you having trouble again gracefully? Maybe a shift of perspective is all that’s needed. If I can be of any help, reach out for a complimentary phone consultation to see if hypnotherapy is right for you. You can get in touch with me at tedmoreno.com/contact. You are not too old and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out it’s own secret. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Thanks for reading this and take good care,

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

Are you having trouble again gracefully? Maybe a shift of perspective is all that’s needed. Reach out for a complimentary phone consultation with Ted to see if hypnotherapy is right for you. You can get in touch with Ted at tedmoreno.com/contact. He’ll get back to you asap.

 

5 Ways to Get Free from a Funk – Episode 441

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Have  you ever been in a funk? You know: unmotivated, lethargic, something’s off, feeling deflated, sad and not right? We all have, and it’s not fun, so we want to get out of the funk as soon as possible.

Ted Moreno, the Funkmeister himself, has spent more time in funks than you can imagine. In this episode, Ted shares from his own experience,  5 ways to free yourself from the funk and get unstuck from the muck so you can move forward and get stuff done and have some fun. Don’t beat yourself up for being a funker, instead, listen to this episode!

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Have you ever had one of those days or weeks where you just feel stuck? Unable to act? Unmotivated, lethargic, not right? A bit burned out? If so, then you know how it feels to be in a funk.

I’m not talking about being funky, like funky music. I’m talking about feeling kind of down, deflated, sad, a little depressed, and melancholy, like you’ve got the blues. Feeling stuck.

Or maybe you wake up one day and you’re not feeling well rested; somethings off, something hurts, you’re not feeling well but it’s not really a cold or some kind of sickness, it’s just, you know, feeling stuck in a funk.

Well guess what, you are in good company, because everyone feels this way sometimes.

I used to be a real funkster, like, in a funk like all the time.

When I was in my teens and early 20s, I was the Funkmeister and not in a good way. I was kind of blue a lot of the time, just feeling funked up. (Read about it in my book.) That changed when I started to really work on myself using the following strategies that I’ll share with you here. I still find myself in a funk occasionally, but it never lasts more than a few hours now.

Being in a funk is no fun; it can stop us from doing what we need to do, feeling the way we want to feel and being who we want to be. So, here are 5 ways to get free from a funk and get unstuck from the muck.

1. Acknowledge, Accept and Ask. This first step is really important. You want to sit down, take a breath, and say to yourself “I am in a funk. I accept that I’m in this place, and I am asking my mind, what’s going on, and what can I do to get out of this.”

You don’t want to beat yourself up and make it worse by saying “I suck because I’m in this funk” or “I’m such a stupid funcker for feeling this way.” No, be nice to yourself.

You want to breathe, get connected to your body’s wisdom, and allow your mind and body to give you some information that might be helpful. You also want to give yourself some positive affirmations such as, “I’ll get through this, this is temporary, this too will pass.” Be there for yourself.

So for instance,

· You might realize that it’s the anniversary of losing someone you loved, as in a death or breakup.

· If you’re a woman, you might realize that you are going to start your period soon.

· Or maybe something happened. Somebody said or did something that is still stuck in your head, like a pebble in your shoe; you’re kind of ignoring it or repressing it.

· Perhaps you saw or heard something on the radio or social media that made you feel sad or fearful or insecure.

If you take the time to AAA, you might find that something bubbles up to the surface as to why you are feeling this way, and if that happens, you can address it consciously instead of letting it run you. If nothing bubbles up, it’s still ok. Sometimes it’s sunny and sometimes it’s gloomy and sometimes we don’t know why. That’s the way life is and that’s where acceptance comes in. Either way, move on to take step number 2.

2. Become Number 1. In other words, prioritize yourself and your self-care. Start by asking yourself: “Am I doing the things I know I need to do to feel my best?” If not, get back to doing those things by doing as many of them as you can even if you can’t do all of them.

· Basic stuff such as good sleep, good nutrition and moving your body. Are you drinking enough water? Dehydration can leave us feeling low on energy and achy and fatigued.

· How about supplementation? Have you fallen out of the habit of taking your supplements? If supplementation is not your habit, consider that it might help and be a good thing to do for a while. Consider getting more electrolytes, iron, vitamin B, or Vitamin D.

· Speaking of vitamin D, are you getting enough sunlight and fresh air? We tend to forgot how important these things are. If you live in a cold climate where you can’t go outside, consider getting a happy light, which is a full spectrum light that prompts your body’s natural energy enhancers to help you relax, focus and feel revitalized. This can be helpful if you are subject to SAD, seasonal affective disorder, which some people suffer from when there is a lack of sunlight due to the change in seasons.

· Moving your body is so important to get free from the funk. Don’t go crazy and hurt yourself or over-stress your body. If you are in a funk, you are in a bit of a weakened state so take it easy and don’t overdo it. Walking, jogging, yoga, whatever you can do, even if it’s not as much as you do, do something.

· And when it comes to taking good care of yourself when you are in a funk, you want to avoid alcohol and smoking marijuana which could make things worse because these are depressants and will add to your lethargy and lack of energy. Try not to medicate unless it’s over the counter stuff for cramps

and/or pain. Be aware and conscious of what your body is telling you. And avoid doom scrolling on social media.

3. Clear the deck. This means creating space by removing unnecessary things so that you are ready for action.

· For example, cleaning out a desk drawer or closet and getting rid of stuff or uncluttering. We think we own our stuff but often it owns us and has the tendency to create clutter in our homes and in our minds. Letting go of stuff allows flow to happen.

· You might need to clear engagements or appointments that you are not ready for or really don’t want to do.

· Maybe you need to let someone go in your life that is bringing you down, such as a partner, friend, or associate. This could potentially be a big decision so put some thought and consideration into it.

· Journaling can be a great way to create space in your mind. Getting all the head stuff and head trash out and onto paper can be a way of unburdening yourself. Explore thoughts, feelings, past experiences, and future expectations. Create or reinforce outcomes such as goals, dreams, and desires. Balance this with gratitude for the good fortune you now have in your life.

4. Open the curtains, let the light in and the funk out. What inspires you? What prompts you to be your best self? What makes you laugh and feel good?

· Is it going out with friends that are positive, encouraging, and supportive or maybe just lunch with your mentor or best friend? Don’t show up and throw up all your troubles, just hang out and be free from them for a while.

· Is it dancing, playing music, or making art?

· Getting out in nature has been a prescription for what ails you since recorded history. Even just sitting in a park with lots of trees. As you know, I walk around a lake most days of the week.

· How about your favorite feel-good movies that leave you feeling positive and upbeat? Or a good book?

· Bring in something new. A new class. A new project. Do something you haven’t done before. The key to burnout is novelty.

· Don’t forget the power of positive affirmations and self-talk including gratitude.

5. Hack a pathway out of the funk. Structure, planning, scheduling, and organizing sound boring but they are some of the keys to success. You might have to spend a

few hours or a day sitting around feeling funky but as soon as you can, make a plan to do something. Make a list before you go to bed at night, so you have something to reach for when you wake up. Give yourself some direction. Get an accountability partner to help you. Do what you can to take some action because when you are in a funk the best thing to do is something. Make it something good.

So there, do you feel that funk lifting just a bit? I hope so. If you need some help freeing yourself from feeling stuck in a funk, reach out to me at tedmoreno.com/contact and we’ll talk and see if hypnotherapy and high performance coaching is right for you.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

If you need some help freeing yourself from feeling stuck in a funk, reach out to Ted at TedMoreno.com/contact and request a complimentary consultation to talk and see if hypnotherapy and high performance coaching is right for you.

Here’s a quote:

“Never fear to deliberately walk through dark places, for that is how you reach the light on the other side.” — Vernon Howard

Thanks for reading this!

Ted

 

The Power of Asking for What You Want– Episode 439

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I was speaking with a client last night and I told him the following story. It’s a great story, so I thought I would share it with you.

In 1987 I had a sales job that involved going into people’s homes and trying to sell them stuff. It was a very tough gig. It was the kind of deal where the managers of the business wore flashy jewelry, drove flashier cars, and yelled a lot.

I had just started on my own personal development journey and was reading books like “Think and Grow Rich”. I started to make a list of goals, and I decided that I wanted to drive a Porsche.

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Now, at this point in my life I was barely able to make my $250 rent, and this sales job was not helping. But I did what one of the books suggested and cut out a picture of a Porsche and hung it on my wall. I even knew enough to write it down, and it went something like this: “I’m driving a Porsche down I-10 listening to a Dire Straits cassette” (One of my favorite bands at the time, when everyone was using cassettes). Now, please keep in mind that I was in my 20’s, single, naïve, and a little bit of a knucklehead.

Somehow, a few months later, I managed to win a sales contest during a period of “feast” in my sales (as opposed to famine). The prize was that the winners would get flown from Phoenix, Arizona, where I lived at the time, to Huntington Beach, CA, where the owner of the company lived. We would sail with him on his yacht to Catalina Island off the coast of California, where he would treat us to a nice dinner and put us up in a hotel for the night. So we did. The next day, on the yacht while sailing back to the mainland, the owner of the company and I were talking. “So, Ted,” he asked me “What kind of car do you see yourself driving?” I definitely had an answer to that question so I told him. “I would like to drive a Porsche!”

So, we made a deal. If I agreed to open a franchise in Tucson in the next few months, he would put me in a Porsche today. “Sure!” I replied. He got on his boat phone and made a short call during which he asked me “What color?” “Red” I said.

When we arrived at Huntington Harbor, there, sitting on the dock, was a brand new, 1987 Porsche 930. Seventy-five thousand dollars’ worth of the world’s finest driving machinery, red as the blood that flows through my veins.

The owner of the company handed me the keys, I got in, and immediately drove to my parent’s house in Los Angeles to show off. I asked my dad if he had any music for me to listen to, and he gave me, you guessed it, a Dire Straits cassette. I drove back to Phoenix on I-10.

True story. Looking back, what I find interesting is that I wasn’t amazed that someone had given me the keys to a Porsche 930 to drive as my own. It didn’t occur to me that I had manifested what I wanted using visualization and affirmation. All I did was ask and I got what I asked for. When I hung the picture of the Porsche on the wall, I wasn’t feeling anxious, or wondering how I was going to get it, or worried that I wouldn’t. I just hung it there, thinking that it was a cool thing to do, visualizing myself driving this car and having fun doing it.

But there’s more to the story. The car was not given to me. The owner (a multi-millionaire) leased it and gave it to me to drive. It was my responsibility to come up with $1100 each month which included the insurance and the lease payment. That wasn’t easy with the feast or famine sales job I had.

Be Careful of What You Ask For

A few months later, in the parking lot of a pool hall where I was hanging out (a place few respectable Porsche owners would want to go), someone mangled the rear window wiper and kicked off the driver’s side view mirror. I didn’t have the $350 deductible to replace them.

I was living in an apartment complex where I was parking a $75,000 car in the parking lot. One day someone smashed the side window in a failed attempt to steal the car stereo. About a month later, I got a flat tire, but I couldn’t afford to replace it, so I drove around on the spare donut tire until I finally turned the car back in to the owner, a mere six months after I got it. It was in bad shape, and I was glad to be done with it.

The Moral of The Story

What I should have asked for was an income that allowed me to own a Porsche as well as maintain it. Instead, I asked to drive one down I-10 listening to a Dire Straits cassette, which I did. I got what I asked for.

About 20 years later, I’m looking at my hypnotherapy appointments for the week and things are looking slow. I’m feeling just a bit of anxiety. I check my email and someone I hadn’t talked to in a long time sends me a link to a Tony Robbins video. It’s a good video where Robbins talks about the use of “incantations”, which are affirmations with lots of emotion. I wrote down verbatim one that he uses, and it goes like this: “The abundance of God’s wealth is circulating in my life now. It’s wealth flows to me in avalanches of abundance. All my needs and desires and goals are met instantaneously by Infinite Intelligence where I am one with God and God is everything. ” (By the way this is something I still say every day.)

After writing this down and tweaking it a bit to match my personal belief system, I proclaimed my version of this affirmation with all the passion and energy I could muster. I also added, “My passion is helping people. People that I can help are calling me for hypnotherapy appointments.”

Within two hours two people called me to book appointments. Was it a coincidence? Maybe, but it didn’t feel like it.

I began to wonder: Why are so many of us afraid to ask for what we want and what we need?

As children we ask incessantly for what we want. Then we grow up, learn how we think the world really works, and stop asking because of resignation, cynicism, fear of rejection and fear of disappointment. Sometimes we are taught, “If someone offers to give you something you should politely decline.”

What if everyone started asking, or even demanding, what they wanted, including: an end to poverty and war, quality schools, a working health care system, health, wealth, happiness, love?

Maybe it’s all true: Ask and you will receive. Knock and the door will be opened. Think and grow rich. What you focus on expands. When you visualize you materialize. The how’s are the domain of the universe. Energy goes where attention flows. You become what you think about.

Every once in a while, I make an attempt to go back to being naive. I try to go back and re-consider the things I learned in my 20’s not as truths, but as possibilities. Such as:

· I can get what I want /need even though I might not deserve it. (check out my podcast Episode 426: What You Deserve Has Got Nothing to Do with It.)

· It’s ok for me to ask repeatedly for what I want / need because I might just get it.

· I can get what I want / need even if I don’t have the money for it.

· I might not have to work hard for what I want and need. Maybe I’ll get it just because I asked for it.

· I can take action to get what I want/need even if I don’t do it perfectly.

· The Universe, God, Infinite Intelligence, whatever you want to call it, wants to help me get what I want and need.

· Maybe, just maybe, I am the Creative Power in the flesh. Maybe I do have the power to manifest whatever I want quickly, possibly instantaneously and I just don’t know it or learned how to do that yet.

· Maybe I don’t have to worry. Maybe I just need to ask and believe. Maybe worry and anxiety is the problem when I perceive that I’m not getting what I want.

It’s not easy to train your mind to have faith in your ability to create what you want when it looks like it’s not going to happen to you. But at 64 years old, I’m still in training. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Thanks for listening, I appreciate you. Are you having trouble believing you can get what you want? Are you having trouble taking the actions you need? If so, I invite you to request a complimentary consultation to explore if working together is the best path forward for you. You can do that by going to tedmoreno.com/contact. I’ll get back to you within 48 hours.

I have two quotes for you this week. First one is from Norman Vincent Peale:

“The great secret of getting what you want from life is to know what you want and believe you can have it.”

Here’s the second one: “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” That’s Oprah Winfrey.

Have a great day!

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

Are you having trouble believing you can get what you want? Are you having trouble taking the actions you need? If so, request a complimentary consultation to explore if working with Ted is the best path forward for you. You can do that by going to tedmoreno.com/contact.  Ted will get back to you within 48 hours.

 

Creating a Morning Ritual: 25 Awesome Things to Do – Episode P437

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It has been suggested by people much smarter than me that what you do first thing in the morning has a tremendous impact on how the rest of the day goes.

I totally agree for two reasons: Number one: For about the first half hour after you wake up, you are in a state of hypnosis. That means that your mind is open and suggestible, so what you think and do first thing in the morning not only gets impressed upon your subconscious mind but has a powerful impact on your day.

Number two: Starting the day intentionally is one of the most powerful things you can do to have a better life. Most people start the day without any intention of who they want to be, what they hope to accomplish and what they want their day to be like. Having the intention as to what you want to create that day is the first step to manifestation.

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Do you get up first thing in the morning and start complaining?

· “God I’m so tired!”

· “I hate getting up!”

· “I hate my job!”

Imagine what messages are being sent to your subconscious mind.

Are you one of those people that immediately start to worry:

· “Oh man, what’s going to happen today?”

· “I hope nothing goes wrong…

· “I just know it’s going to be one of those days…

Worrying first thing in the morning is a great way to program your mind for worry and fear. Remember, worry is a prayer for what you don’t want.

And of course, there are those that first thing in the morning, pick up their cell phones or turn on the tv to the negative news to see who was murdered in their neighborhood overnight or what so-and-so politician said that pisses you off. This is the worst type of negative programming.

These are NOT awesome things to do first thing in the morning.

What you want to do is create a morning ritual that becomes a habit so that you do it automatically and reap the benefits of intentionally starting your day in a powerful way. Now if you spend any time on Instagram or Facebook this is a popular topic of discussion now. But, to toot my own horn, I’ve been preaching the power of a morning ritual for 15 years. In fact, this podcast started as a blog post that I wrote way back in 2011.

A morning ritual is simply something you do first thing in the morning that empowers you, that puts you in a good headspace, and that leaves you feeling energized but calm and ready to take on the day.

It can be as short and simple as 15 minutes of meditation or prayer. It can be a yoga workout or a walk on the treadmill or outside. It could be doing a little journaling. But it must work for you, or you won’t do it. I know some folks need to get up really early; try to do something.

So, here’s some ideas for starting your day. Pick one or two that you think will work for you and try them out. Give yourself some time to work this out. Write down what sounds good to you. Then, start with something, even if it’s just one thing, every morning. You don’t have to do the same thing each day, you can alternate. A good idea is to go to bed already knowing what you will do the next morning.

You will feel the difference it makes when you choose consciously and intentionally what you want to bring into the gift of your brand-new day.

1. Get up earlier. Getting up earlier gives you more day and more peace and quiet. You also give yourself more time to do some of the things you want to do. Start by setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier.. Don’t get up at the last minute and then rush around stressed out trying to get to where you need to be. It’s not worth the extra 15 minutes of sleep.

2. Drink a big glass of water. You’ve gone 7 or 8 hours without drinking anything. Start by hydrating your body. Some people put a little lemon juice in their water. I put a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in mine. Have some water on your nightstand.

3. Make your first thought of the day a positive thought. The night before, write down the positive thought that you want to have as the first thought of the day. “It’s going to be a good day!” or “Glad I’m alive!” or maybe a gratitude list. I have a list of affirmations that I read to focus my mind on what I want to create. 4. Create your day. I got this from Dr. Joe Dispenza who was in the film “What The Bleep Do We Know!? Create your day first thing in the morning or the night before by imagining how you want your day to be. Say to yourself: “Today I will experience inspiration (or relaxation fun, etc.). Today I will attract things that inspire me. When they happen, I will know that I created it.” Believe you can affect the universe. Why not? It’s better than believing that you are a victim of fate and circumstance.

5. Read and visualize your goals. Your mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined. The mind likes and moves towards what is known and familiar. Get your mind comfortable with your goals first thing in the morning by closing your eyes and seeing yourself doing what you want to do, having what you want to have and being who you want to be.

6. Pray or meditate. Get in touch with Infinite, the Divine, God or whatever you consider that to be. It could be as simple as sitting in a chair and breathing, or in a lotus position or on your knees. Use a candle, beads, rosary, incense, or chanting. Take time to inquire within. It’s said that when you pray, you talk to God and when you meditate, God talks to you.

7. Go outside. Let the sun shine it’s rays upon you. Breathe in the fresh morning air. Walk barefoot through the grass. Drink your coffee and eat your breakfast outside. If you normally do yoga in the living room, try doing it outside.

8. Do something in the garden. Water, weed, plant or harvest. Pick a tomato or a bunch of flowers for a vase. Or just sit there in amazement and wonder.

9. Do yoga or stretch. A flexible body means a flexible mind. You don’t want hardening of the attitudes. Stretching releases tension and toxins and gets you in touch with your body.

10. Read something inspiring. Religious books, your favorite inspirational authors, self-help books, or a short quote to ponder for the day. 11. Listen to music or your favorite app. Music stimulates the brain and awakens the emotions. Whatever makes you feel good, listen to it first thing in the morning. I do this every morning and I love it. Or find an app that you like such as the Calm App, the Waking Up App or the Ten Percent Happier Meditation App.

12. Write in your journal. Keep it positive. What have you learned recently? What is good in your life? Write a Gratitude list. Or, just quiet your mind and let it tell you what to write.

13. Take a walk. Greet the world as it wakes up while moving your body. Breathe deeply. Walk to Starbucks to get you out the door. Walk the dog. Walk where it’s beautiful if possible. I do this every morning if I can.

14. Ride a bike. There’s something about riding a bike that is freeing and joyful. Maybe because you did it as a kid.

15. Get some exercise. Exercising first thing in the morning jump starts your metabolism, giving you a sense of relaxed energy. It could be walking, lifting weights, Pilates, going to the gym, pushups and/or pull ups. Make it work for you. I’ll repeat that: Make it work for you. 16. Look at beautiful images. Fill your mind with beauty. Perhaps you have photos, or a great garden, or a picture book with incredible images. Give yourself a few minutes to take in the good stuff. 17. Do the magic that you do. If you are a writer, write. If you are a painter, paint. If you are a musician, make music. If you’re a singer, sing. If you are a dancer, dance. If you are a photographer…

18. Write a letter, send an email or a text message to someone you haven’t contacted for a while. Just to say hi.

19. Call someone you’ve been meaning to call or haven’t talked to in a while. “Hi, I know it’s first thing in the morning, and you’re probably getting ready for (work, school) but I just wanted to say that I really (miss you, love you, am thinking about you, remembering the good times, want to apologize, etc.) That’s all! Bye!”

20. Treat yourself to breakfast. If you usually fix your own stuff, go out and eat, connect with the world.

21. Fix your own breakfast. If you usually go out, then nurture yourself by feeding your own sweet self. 22. Make a donation. Write a check or go online. Make your first act of the day one of generosity.

23. Get in bed with your kids and smooch on them. Do a little snuggling with your partner before you get up.

24. Wear something that’s comfortable that makes you feel good. Get it ready the night before (ironing it or washing it). Dress for success!

25. Call in well. Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Say “Hi, I’m feeling too good to go to work today. I think I’ll hang out in the Rose Garden at the Huntington Botanical Gardens instead. See you tomorrow.” Ok, don’t do that if it’s going to get you in trouble. Instead, call in sick for a mental health day. We all need one occasionally.

Step out of the insanity of the daily grind by getting in touch with what is true and meaningful on a daily basis. Making a “first thing in the morning habit” out of just of few of these things can change your life.

I’ll be going on Instagram next week to make a couple of videos about my morning ritual. You can follow me at tedamoreno

Thanks for listening! If you need help getting up earlier or finding the motivation to start your morning ritual, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation today and explore if working together can be your best path forward. To request your complimentary consultation, go to tedmoreno.com/contact and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours. Here’s a quote for you from a song by someone I absolutely love, Joni Mitchell:

But the only thing I have to give
To make you smile, to win you with
Are all the mornings still to live
In morning Morgantown

Wishing you beautiful mornings,
Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

What you do first thing in the morning has a tremendous impact on how the rest of the day goes. Creating the habit of a morning ritual can energize you, empower you, and put you in the right headspace to take on the day in a powerful way. In this episode, Ted gives you 25 awesome things that you can pick and choose to create an morning ritual that can  become the best part of your day!

If you need help getting up earlier or finding the motivation to start your morning ritual, book a complimentary consultation today and explore if working with Ted can be your best path forward. To request your complimentary consultation, go to tedmoreno.com/contact and Ted will get back to you within 48 hours.

The Top 5 Subconscious Blocks That Are Holding You Back – Episode 436

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Ted in Your Head Podcast
We all have things we want. Consciously, we have goals, desires, and outcomes we want to achieve. However, our subconscious mind, which is more than 75% of our mind, might have “programming” that is in conflict with what we are trying to achieve.  If that is the case, our subconscious mind will do what it can to stop us. That’s when we feel blocked. It’s that feeling that no matter how hard we try, we always seem to stop ourselves through self-sabotage, procrastination and giving up too soon.
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In this episode, Ted reveals the top 5 subconscious blocks that could be working against you and holding you back from success, happiness and health. Be sure to check this one out!

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Are you feeling blocked but can’t figure out why? I’d like to extend to you a onetime complimentary consultation. If you are interested in exploring hypnotherapy and high performance coaching, go to tedmoreno.com/contact and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours to schedule your consultation.

How to Deal with the Winds of Change – Episode 435

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It’s been a while since my last podcast and there have been a few changes since then.

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Most significantly, a loss in my family (which I will discuss in a future podcast). There have been some changes in my business, and my oldest child is now driving and in college. If there’s one thing that’s one thing you can count on, things will change.

The last time I did a podcast on change was Episode 48 in 2019. We’ve had a pandemic since then. I was 59 years old. I just turned 64 last week. It’s 2024.

I remember when we went from rotary dial phones to push button, then to cordless. I got my first cell phone in 2005. That was cool.

I remember using LPs, (long playing records but everyone calls them vinyl now) to 8 track, to cassette, to CD, to iPod to streaming music. Those changes were easy, and fun.

But there are many changes that aren’t so easy to navigate. In my last podcast I talked about heartbreak, that’s a tough one. Loss, and the death of loved ones. Getting older, how about that one? Watching your loved ones get older, watching parents age. Reminds me of a line from a Bonnie Raitt song called Nick of Time:

I see my folks are getting on
And I watch their bodies change
I know they see the same in me
And it makes us both feel strange
No matter how you tell yourself
It’s what we all go through
Those lines are pretty hard to take
When they’re staring back at you.

The pace of change in our lives accelerates exponentially. I read recently that there has been more change in the last 30 years than in the last 300.

As 21st century humans must assimilate change and new information more rapidly than at any other time in history. Especially technological change, but also, birth and death, growth and decay, marriage and divorce, buying and selling, falling in love and falling out, getting hired, getting fired, getting on board and jumping off. Sometimes you make the choice and sometimes it’s made for you.

Change will happen whether you want it to or not. Make no mistake about it, it’s hard. Change is hard. Everything about our minds does not want to change. We are wired to seek the known, the familiar, the comfortable; this is how our minds keep us safe. The unknown represents danger. That’s where much of our anxiety and fear comes from. Much of the future seems unknown.

But, when you think about it, everything about the future is unknown. We trick ourselves into thinking that things will stay the same, that we know what will happen, and that’s part of the reason why it’s so hard because we don’t know what will happen, and most things in our lives won’t stay the same.

The flip side of that is that we seek change. We want to better our lives, we want to grow, we seek to improve our situation, make more money, become more capable, more skilled, have better relationships. We want and we need change.

So how can we deal with change? Or maybe a better question is, how can we prepare for change?

The truth is that for some changes, we can’t prepare. But we can prepare our minds and hearts for what may come. First, we want to realize that life is transitory. Things come and go. All things must pass, George Harrison said that. This is the nature of things. We will pass. We must accept this reality first and avoid any magical thinking that says otherwise.

Second you need to be ready to let go. It’s hard sometimes. Letting go of youth, letting go of people, friendships. Sometimes you have to say to yourself, I let this go, I release this thing, or I release this person.

Third, we need to practice being resilient. Constitute yourself as being able to roll with the changes. We can get annoyed or angry or indignant when things change inevitably. Those are normal human emotions and reasonable responses to changes you don’t like. But don’t live there. Practice accepting, allowing, and embracing change. Practice being peaceful in the face of change. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, that will help.

Fourth, cultivate wisdom. It’s never too early or too late to do this. See how life really is, not just how you think or would like it to be. Seek to be free from your own ego when you can, and you’ll get better at it. I always say that we think we live life but really, life lives us. Step back, be present, see the patterns of life. Get grounded in the reality of being human. Try to be happy to be alive and to be able to witness the changes such as the change of the seasons, the growth of your kids, and especially, your own growth.

I took a walk this morning and it was cloudy, and a cold wind was blowing. Soon it will rain. But I know that soon after that, it will be sunny and warm, and the flowers will bloom and the air will be fragrant. I want to be here for the changes, even for the hard ones. It’s ok, I know it’s going to be ok. I invite you to tell that to yourself a lot when you feel the winds of change blowing.

Here’s a quote for you: “Change is the law of life, and those who look only to the past and present are certain to miss the future” -John F. Kennedy.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

If you are having trouble navigating the winds of change, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation with me so that we can explore if working together is your best path forward. To request your complimentary consultation, go to https://Tedmoreno.com/contact
and I’ll get back to you in 48 hours to schedule that.

 

Thanks for listening,

Ted

How to Heal a Broken Heart – Episode 434

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Lately I’ve had more than a few people come to me for help with mending their broken hearts.

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Some had been left by the person they were in love with or married to. Others were cheated on.  Still others were led to believe that there was a promising relationship happening only for the other partner to say no it’s not going to happen, leaving the client disillusioned and heartbroken.

If you have ever had these experiences, (and if you’re my age, which is 63, there’s a good chance that you have), you know it can be one of the most painful things to endure. Almost as painful, or perhaps, even more than the death of loved one. Let me say that if you’re going through something like this or if you have in the past, you have my deepest compassion.

I’ve shared my own experiences in this podcast over the years and it was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to deal with it. It took a significant amount of time to heal and it took a lot of work. So, I understand the pain. Fortunately for me, I bumped into a few people that had wisdom and similar experiences, and I had a community around me that allowed me to find my footing and heal. I’m happy to say that when I did, I was bigger, better, stronger, wiser, more mature, and more ready than ever to negotiate a relationship with my own personal power and confidence intact, which I certainly did not have in the relationship that I’ve described in the past.

Here’s some things that you can do right away to help you start healing and feeling better.

The first thing is to accept what’s happening. This is hard because every fiber of our being wants it to be different. We might have had dreams, plans, and a future that now, is no more. As soon as you can, accept that this is what life has given you. It sucks, I know, believe me I know. We can only deal with what is.

Next, realize that healing takes time. It’s a process and there’s no way to avoid feeling crappy or being in physical or emotional pain. You must tell yourself that you’ll get through it and be ok. You will feel so many different emotions such as

loneliness, humiliation, rejection, disappointment, sometimes even relief to be done with it. Be patient and gentle with yourself and do what you can to put one foot in front of the other.

The process is called grieving. Give yourself time and space to grieve. Cry if you need to and then, get up and take care of some business. Don’t have the expectation that you are just going to jump right back into life and be ok. You won’t. This is a wound which requires time and effort to heal.

Try to avoid doing things that make the healing worse, like following the person on social media or texting them. Don’t look at their photo, put that away for a while until later. After my big bad breakup, the most useful thing I heard was “No contact”. Don’t call, don’t drive by their house, don’t spy on them. There was no texting back then, but if there had been I would have been advised not to text. That was so helpful and allowed me to begin healing.

Remember that grief must be expressed, don’t keep it in. Crying is an important part of it, but also, talking to people about how you feel. Usually, the best person for this is a professional. If you have friends that are willing to listen just be aware of how much you’re dumping on them. Journaling can help but talking to a person is better.

Psychotherapy or hypnotherapy can be really helpful in understanding what happened and how you can prevent the same thing in the future. I realized that a large part of the problem in my breakup was me, so I began exploring my own lack of self-esteem and my controlling nature with a support group as well as a psychotherapist. That might’ve saved my life.

If you get depressed to the point that you can’t function, consider medication. There is no shame in taking meds short term to assist you in your healing. Do your due diligence though when seeking this option.

It’s important to move your body and get exercise. Emotions such as grief and loss are felt in the body. We don’t want them to get stuck in the body and that’s why movement can be so helpful during these times. Even just walking or riding a bike can be very therapeutic. Consistent yoga practice can help you reconnect with yourself.

Be intentional about getting back to yourself. Get back to doing the things you like to do. Many people give these things up when they get in a relationship. Get back to enjoying being with yourself. Re-connect with who you are. See if you can be ok with being alone, maybe for the first time. Don’t go jumping into another relationship to distract yourself because then you risk breaking someone else’s heart.

Get your stuff in order. What have you left on the back burner of your life? What did you stop paying attention to? Your family? Your friends? Your health? Your job? Get back to the job of living.

The next thing can be helpful, literally: Help someone and find a way to contribute to others. Volunteer. If you are focused on helping someone else, you are less focused on your own situation. Not only that but it feels good to help people. As rough as it might be for you, there is always someone out there having it a lot worse.

Try to find the lesson and the meaning. This takes a bit of time, but I would suggest to you that these life episodes can be transformative. It was for me. Growth, strength, maturity, and wisdom are all powerful things that you can gain from the pain and disappointment. Use it all to become better.

Lastly there are so many resources online. Search for the NLP technique called “Mending a broken heart”. You can use it on yourself. There are a lot of really good videos that can be incredibly helpful.

Let me leave with you a quote:

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” — Marilyn Monroe.

Thanks for listening and please take good care of yourself.

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

P.S. If you are struggling with a broken heart and need some help in healing and getting back on your feet, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation with me so that we can explore if working together is your best path forward. To request your complimentary consultation, go to https://Tedmoreno.com/contact and I’ll get back to you in 48 hours to schedule that consultation.

 

Are You Being a Nasty Witch or a Freaking Ogre? – Episode 433

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Ever had one of those days when you are crabby, irritable, unhappy and downright nasty? That’s when people start telling you things like “Wow, you sure are being a nasty witch today!” or “Man, why are you such a freaking absolute ogre today?”

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Well, maybe not in those exact words. Maybe in stronger words?? Sometimes we can’t even put a finger on why we are irritable or crabby. That’s a sign it’s time to give yourself some time to yourself. Time to take some personal time. “I can’t”, you might say? You can’t afford not to.

We’re all trying to get our wants and needs met, but first we need to be clear about what they are. The first step is to step away and carve out some time to figure it out.

Most of us are a collection of many different wants, needs and desires pulling us in many different directions. Of the all the things that I hear in my office, this is the most common: “One part of me wants this, and another part of me wants that…” Usually one part is unhappy with the other part because it’s not doing what the first part wants it to do, like quit smoking or get more motivated to exercise. Can you relate? I can.

If you throw job and family responsibilities into the mix, things can get complicated. It’s easy to avoid thinking about something within us that needs our attention until we can no longer ignore it. In my opinion, many people have no clue who they are or what they want because they’ve never spent much time with themselves.

Taking time for you, and being with yourself, can be one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself because it results in self-knowledge.

It’s a way to honor yourself as well as your wants and needs, and to get clear about what those are. This is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

If you are in a relationship such as marriage, that relationship grows from time spent with each other. If you have kids, an effort needs to be made to nurture that relationship. In the same way, it’s necessary to develop a relationship with yourself by spending time doing something you enjoy.

Of course, we all have responsibilities; things we need to do and places we need to be. The idea of taking time to yourself might appear to be impossible, if not downright ridiculous and unnecessary.

Yet, the whole idea of transformation involves moving towards freedom and away from constraint. To be free means you have a choice. A choice as to who you want to

be and what you want to do. However, it’s easy to get caught up in being who you think you should be according to someone else’s standards. Then, there is no choice. In episode 21, Are You A Zombie (a long time ago!) I talked about how we can become zombies from overwhelm and can become like the walking dead. Never taking time for yourself to do what you enjoy or like to do, can result in irritability, stress, tension and becoming difficult to live with, for yourself as well as others.

I have a wife and kids. These are relationships that need time and attention, lots of it. My relationship with myself also needs time and attention. Most of the time I get along with me but sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’m critical of me or downright mean to me or careless with me. It can get so bad that I end up not liking myself very much. Ever been there?

It’s better to be your own best friend. If you’re upset with your friend, and that relationship is important, then you’ll eventually want to have a conversation with that friend and resolve whatever it is that’s coming between you. But first you need to spend time with that friend.

Ideas for spending time with yourself:

· Check in with your own self-care.

· Ask yourself: “Am I getting what I need. Am I getting what I want. Am I asking for these things?”

· Learn to be comfortable with yourself, learn to enjoy your own company. Not so easy if you’re not used to it. The constant need to be with others can be an addiction. It can be a distraction from what ails you deep inside.

· Take a walk, read a book, go to a park or museum. This is the time to rejuvenate and calm your mind. It might mean taking a day off work.

· Get a massage.

· Journaling is a very powerful way to be with yourself, to get intimate with your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can help us identify buried emotions such as anger and resentment. · Hypnotherapy is one very effective way to get present to what’s going on in your head and in your life. Talking to a friend, priest or counselor is also time you give to yourself to explore your inner life, which is the most important part of your life, because everything else is a reflection of that inner life.

· Exercise, yoga and mindfulness practices like meditation are other ways.

· Taking yourself out to dinner. Take a drive just to drive and listen to music.

In our busy world, most people will not do this until a crisis occurs, then taking time might be a short stay in the hospital. It doesn’t have to come to that. Give yourself what you need on a regular basis, and you will notice that not only will people want to spend more time with you, but you’ll be happier with yourself. Then you only need to be an ogre or witch at Halloween.

Here’s a quote from the Dalai Lama:

“If you feel burnout setting in, if you feel demoralized or exhausted, it is best for the sake of everyone to withdraw and restore yourself.

Are you having trouble being more in control of regulating your emotions? Request a complimentary consultation with Ted to explore if hypnotherapy can transform your challenges into possibility! Click here to request a consultation: https://tedmoreno.com/ready-to-get-started/

The State of Men, a discussion with Sammy Villanueva – Episode 431

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By all indications, many men, especially young men, are struggling and falling behind in the quest for health, happiness and success. In this episode, Ted and Sammy Villanueva, the founder of the HeRose Men’s Mastermind Community, have an in depth discussion about the challenges many young men face, how those challenges impact them, and what can be done about it.

If you are a man, or know a young man that is struggling, please take some time to listen to this important episode of the Ted in Your Head podcast.

 

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If you know a young man that could use some support, or you are a man looking for support, request a complimentary consultation with Ted at https://tedmoreno.com/contact. Ted will answer any questions and help you explore if hypnotherapy with Ted is the best path forward for you.