Fear of Public Speaking: Worse than Death?

Fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death

I’ll help you get out of that speech…

 

It’s been said that fear of public speaking is a fear worse than death for some people.

I’m not sure how many people have the fear of public speaking so bad that they would rather die, but many people do consider speaking in front of a group on par with a root canal on the list of their favorite activities.

Nobody is born a good public speaker. As with all fears, fear of public speaking is learned, and what is learned can be unlearned. When someone says “I have a fear of public speaking because I’m not a good speaker” all they are really saying is “I haven’t developed the skills to be an effective speaker.” Becoming comfortable in front of a group is a skill you can learn.

You may someday be called upon to speak to a group, maybe at a wedding or funeral. In today’s business environment, you will almost certainly be required to give reports or presentations to colleagues or clients. If so, consider learning to speak in public as necessary part of your personal and professional development.

If you are someone who gets the fight or flight response (sweaty palms, rapid heartbeat, shallow breathing, inability to think clearly) when asked to speak to a group, the good news is that you can learn to overcome the fear response and speak comfortably. It doesn’t  have to be  stressful. Many people who once suffered from fear of  public speaking  have gone on to become very good speakers.  Here are some other things to remember:

  •  You don’t have to be a master orator in order to be effective. You just need to be yourself. Don’t try to be or think of yourself as a “public speaker”.
  • The audience is on your side, wanting you to succeed.
  • The chances of you loudly passing gas, fainting, throwing up, totally forgetting what you were going to say or  the audience throwing stuff at you rarely happens and if it does, you can probably make a joke out of it.
  • You don’t need to memorize a lot of information or even impart a lot of information. That’s what notes and handouts  are for.
  • It’s ok to feel a little nervous, that’s natural.

Of course, there are different levels of fear of public speaking. On one end of the spectrum, you might be challenged by social anxiety disorder to the point where even talking to someone one on one is a problem. On the other end, you may feel  fear or nervousness that makes the prospect of public speaking just another stressful thing  in  your life. Either way, if you want some help, click here to contact me.

Tips for dealing with fear of public speaking

  •  Practice but don’t over- prepare. Have an outline for what you are going to say. Put your notes on 3×5 index cards that are numbered in order. Practice saying the words out loud. Practice in front of someone you trust that can give you some feedback is one of the best ways to deal with fear of public speaking. Record yourself to see what vocal tics you might want to work with. Practice in front of a mirror.
  • Don’t be boring. The worst sin you can commit as a speaker is making people wish they were somewhere else. Although there are many situations where one may need to speak, try to craft your message to your audience so that what you tell them has some impact on them.
  • Humor is good. People want to laugh, and when they do, you’ll  feel a lot more comfortable. Just use common sense to avoid offending your audience.
  • Humility is good. Don’t try to come across as an expert if you aren’t. Even if you are, remember, people don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care.
  • Make sure you eat something. Diet and your level of anxiety are intimately related. Don’t go in front of a group on an empty stomach or over-caffeinated.
  • Monitor the conversation in your head so that it supports you. It doesn’t help to say things like “I just know I’m going to screw this up.” or “I have so much fear of public speaking!”. Be realistic in your expectations and show this in your language to yourself. “I can do this, it’s only ten minutes.”  or “This is a great opportunity to show my stuff.”
  • Do a little mental preparation before you speak. Psyche yourself up, see yourself doing great, give yourself some positive suggestions.
  • Use EFT to release anxiety.

I help people  let go of the anxiety and  fear of public speaking that keeps them from getting ahead. If you want to excel as a public speaker, there’s a lot of instructional material out there including books, DVDs and audio programs.   Toastmasters is the most well known and respected venue for people to hone their skills, and I highly recommend that you check out your local chapter. Check out Barbara Rocha’s programs as well. If you have a fear of public speaking, you CAN learn to be comfortable whenever you’re called upon to “show your stuff.”

Ted

If you want to hear a podcast of this blog with a funny story, go to tedmoreno.com/podcast, episode 32.

Click Here For a Free Guide to Relieve Anxiety

 

How to Ease Anxiety About Dental or Doctor Visits

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Want to learn how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits? Watch this video.

I was recently asked by Dr. Jack Von Bulow of Temple City Dental Care to give a presentation on how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits.

We all know that to maintain our dental and physical health, we need to pay regular visits to the dentist or doctor.

However, many people are prevented from getting the care they need because of the fear and anxiety they have about going to the dentist or the doctor or even thinking about a doctor or dental visit.

In this video recording of my presentation on July 30th, I discussed five simple things that you can do to ease anxiety about dental or doctor visits.

Download handouts on how to ease anxiety about dental and doctor visits.

 

Handouts were available at the event,  including “5 Things You Can Do to Be More Comfortable, Calm and Relaxed When Visiting Your Doctor or Dentist” and Dr. Jack has generously provided them for download on his website.

You can get them by clicking here.

If you do even one of the five things I’ve suggested, you will get some relief. If you do all of them, you may experience a definite reduction in your fear and anxiety. I’ve even provided step by step instructions on the steps to take leading up to your appointment.

If you know anybody that suffers from fear and anxiety about going to the doctor or dentist, please forward this information to them.

Ted

 

 

 

 

Back to School Challenges? These Special Offers Can Help.

 

Back to school challenges

I remember some  back to school challenges when I started 3rd grade. I was pretty nervous. My teacher was going to be Mrs. O’Brian and I heard that she wasn’t very nice.  My mom had taken me to school for the first day of 2nd grade at my new school, but since she now had 7 other kids to care for, I was on my own and I think I even had to walk to school that day.

Turns out Mrs. O’Brian wasn’t very nice. She yelled a lot and I was afraid of her. I think teachers were a lot different in 1969.

Not only that, but it seemed like my fellow students got meaner in the 3rd grade. More fights, violent games, bullying. I can say that I started to feel stress in the third grade; more homework, projects, reports. Of course, my parents were having back to school challenges of their own, with kids in kinder, 1st, 2nd and 3rd grades and 4 more at home.

Back to school challenges can cause stress for parents and children, as well as adult students returning to school. Just helping my kids with homework makes me want to have a drink. For many parents, myself included, getting kids up, dressed and to school on time has the potential to ruin a day.

Students often have to deal with anxiety about tests, more homework, scary teachers and fellow students, and the transition from no school to back to school.

If you or your child is experiencing any of these back to school challenges, I can help.

  •  I work with kids age 12 on up to help them with back to school challenges such as general anxiety regarding transitioning into the next grade level or a new school, as well as test anxiety, focus and concentration, and sleep problems.
  • I also work with adult students going back to school, some for the first time in years. Dealing with back to school challenges after being out for a few years can be a stressful adjustment. I can assist with text anxiety, focus and concentration. In addition, I can help with time management, procrastination and motivation.
  • I help parents deal with the stress of back to school challenges. I’m very aware that my mood and attitude in the mornings can affect my kids and their day. In spite of that awareness, I still find myself getting frustrated and impatient. Fortunately, there are many tools that can help me have the attitude and patience to send my children off to school in a way that is productive and conducive to learning. These are the tools I am able to teach to parents as well as using the Moreno Method for Life Transformation to change negative habits and patterns of thinking.

So for those experiencing  back to school challenges, I’m offering back to school specials!

 If you are an adult student, I’ll offer you a student discount for four sessions that gives you $100 off of my regular fee for four sessions. (That’s a value of $548 for only $447) (Sorry, no phone sessions)

 If you are a parent and you have a child 12 or over that needs help, pay for four sessions for your child and I’ll give you a complementary hour and half session with an audio recording of the session that you can listen to at home. I’ll give you a copy of my book “The Ultimate Guide to Letting Go of Negativity and Fear and Loving Life,” and my “Peaceful Place Relaxation CD” After you drop your kids off at school, of course.  (That’s a value of $685 for only $548) (Sorry no phone sessions)

What if you’re not a student, have no kids in school, but need to work on something to make life better? Come in for four sessions (or do phone sessions), and this is what you’ll get:

Geez, what am I thinking, that’s a $693 value for only $497. Maybe I’m just happy that it’s cooling down here in SoCal. If you are interested, click here or call me local (626) 826-0612 or  toll free (855) 837-8477. Oh, by the way, this offer expires the first day of Autumn, September 22nd, 2013. After that, prices go up!  (Note that all sessions must be paid in full at first session.)

Why not give yourself and your student the chance to overcome those back to school challenges and have more calm, comfort and concentration? Click here or call me at (626) 826-0612 or toll free (855) 837-8477.

Wishing you, and your family and warm and relaxing Fall season.

 Ted

Test Anxiety: How to Deal With It.

test anxiety

At the end of July all over the country, thousands of people will take the bar exam and fail due to test anxiety.

The failure rate in California in 2004 was 56 percent. Although some will fail because they are not worried enough, many will fail because they are worried to the point of test anxiety.

Test anxiety can show up as early as first and second grades as well as in high school. A 2006 U.S. Department of Education-funded study conducted by the Institute of HeartMath and Claremont Graduate University with 980 10th-grade students found that 61% of all students reported being affected by test anxiety.

What is test anxiety?

It is a psychological condition where the test taker feels severe distress before, during and after the test; one can get so nervous and anxious about doing well (or just passing), that performance on a test is negatively affected. If you know how a college final can produce this type of anxiety, then imagine having test anxiety while taking the bar exam, or an exam for licensure, where the stakes are high and there has been a significant investment in both money and time.

It’s normal to have some type of nervousness about taking a test and in fact, this nervousness can be helpful by getting us into a state where we are pumped up to do well. When this nervousness escalates into test anxiety, however, it can not only interfere with recall of information but may create a reaction so intense that it some people give up taking the exam entirely, or continue to put it off until “someday”.

 Test anxiety is a form of performance anxiety.

Performance anxiety is where someone is extremely nervous about having to produce a result in a limited time period or in front of people who are judging them. Test anxiety, stage fright, fear of public speaking and “choking” in sports performance fall into this category.

Symptoms of performance anxiety are similar to most other forms of anxiety reactions: rapid heartbeat, sweaty palms, shortness of breath, shakiness, confusion, or other physical aches or pains such as nausea or a stomach ache.

In my work as a hypnotherapist with people who are challenged by test anxiety, I notice that many of these people share similar characteristics, such as being prone to high stress, having perfectionist tendencies, or worrying a lot. Most instances of test anxiety can be dealt with in just a few hypnotherapy sessions, but here are some suggestions you can put to use right away.

Tips for dealing with text anxiety

Diet can affect your ability to think and recall information. If you are skipping meals or eating meals or snacks high in carbs while studying for an exam, then you may be experiencing episodes of low blood sugar (blood glucose). Since the organ that uses the most glucose is the brain, a balanced diet can be helpful in creating optimal brain power. Have healthy snacks while you study.

Sleep seems to go by the wayside when students are preparing for exams. Plan your study time for when you feel the most alert, which for most people is not usually late at night. But if that works for you, then make sure you’re getting the amount of sleep that’s right for you. It’s probably more than you think. It makes sense to be well rested in the days leading up to a major exam, yes?

Lack of preparation can cause test anxiety. Last minute cramming can leave you feeling like you are not ready, creating anxiety. Manage your time by organizing your schedule to give yourself the best conditions for learning. Decide ahead of time when, and for how long you will study. I suggest studying in periods of 50 minutes to one hour, with 10 to 15 minute breaks in between.

Effective Preparation. Many people will only prepare for an exam by cramming the information into their heads. This is only half the equation; taking the test will involve recalling the information. Prepare for the exam by taking as many practice tests as you can as soon as you can. This will also clue you in as to what areas require more study.

Watch your self talk. Self talk is your internal language or thoughts. Avoid scaring yourself with inner conversations like “I know I’m going to just blank out right in the middle of the test!” or “I just suck at taking tests!” Give yourself encouragement and support. Use positive affirmations in the days and weeks leading up to the exam. (Click here to read more about affirmations.)

Mental visualization can be one of the most effective techniques you can use to mentally “rehearse” taking the test while feeling calm, relaxed and comfortable. See yourself walking out of the testing location feeling good about your performance. Imagine receiving the information that you have passed. Setting a goal of passing with a particular score increases the chances that you will.

Extreme self care might be getting massages in the days or weeks before the exam to release excess tension and stress. Get a good night’s sleep the night before the exam, and don’t even thing about showing up without eating a good meal with protein. Daily walking or any type of exercise can also be a great stress reliever. Remember, anxiety comes from prolonged stress and tension. Find ways to release it.

For the most part, test anxiety is a learned response. With practice, you can unlearn test anxiety and learn a different reaction. Have faith in your brain, and cultivate a strong and abiding belief that you can and will pass!

Ted

Getting Free from The Hypnosis of Your Mind

candle

One of the most fun and common ways to get hypnotized is to go the movies. When we see a movie, we believe what we’re seeing is really happening. We get scared, feel happy, and maybe even cry.  We literally become hypnotized to the point that we forget that none of it is real. We are so caught up in the content of the movie, we forget about the context, which is the fact that we’re in a building, watching light projected onto a screen. (Hold that thought for a second…)

People that come to me really want only one thing: Liberation. Like all of us, they want to be liberated from thoughts, feelings, sensations or behaviors that don’t serve them.   I help them be aware that none of those things is who they really are. I help them see that the things they want to be free from exist as the content of the mind: the ongoing, always changing stuff of the mind. That’s what minds do: they produce content, and we are trained and conditioned to look for content. We’re attached to content.  If we can develop the awareness that as human beings we are hypnotized by the content of our minds, then we can see the truth of what’s going on, and see that we have a choice.

What’s the content of our lives? Beliefs, thoughts, feelings, everything we think we are: the past, our future goals, and the details of our life situations. So what’s the context?  Like the screen in a movie, it’s the awareness that all this content is projected onto. The content is always changing but the awareness of the content is always present, even if you are unaware that you’re aware. And most of us are unaware of our awareness.

This is where we can lose our power. Just like watching a movie, we get hypnotized by all of this content. We get involved in the drama, the story. We become attached to it. We identify with it and we say this is who I am, this is what I believe. And we can become so invested in this content, so invested in what we believe and feel, that we may be willing to die or even kill for it.

Take anger, for example. Nobody ever really makes us angry. We make ourselves angry by thinking “It/he/she/ shouldn’t be like that.” The divide between how it is and how we think it should be is what creates anger for us. But how we think it should be is not real. It doesn’t exist. But our tendency is to believe that everything we think is true. But I’ve got news for you. Most of what we think is true is simply theory, belief, opinion, generalizations and habitual patterns of thinking.

Take fear. When we say “I am afraid”, we’ve now become the fear. Then we might say “I shouldn’t be afraid. Why am I afraid? I hate being afraid. I hate that thing that makes me afraid.” This is just more content. All we’re doing now is keeping the fear alive because what you resist persists because you are putting energy into it. The truth is, “I am aware of the emotion of fear, which will soon pass or fade.” What’s even closer to the truth is “I am awareness”. This is the context out of which all this content arises.

So we can look at anger or fear or any other negative emotions from the context of awareness. We can acknowledge “I’m having the experience of fear.” As humans, we will experience fear, of course, as well as courage, hope, despair etc. But instead of saying “I should not feel afraid”, we can stop shoulding all over ourselves. We can say “OK right now, I’m feeling fear and that’s what is. It’s ok to feel fear because I’m only human. And just because I’m feeling fear doesn’t mean that it has to stop me.”

What happens when we feel fear and we keep on going? Fear changes and starts to become courage, then confidence, then competence. It’s always changing. Because content is transitory.

How can we liberate ourselves from our mind stuff and identify more powerfully with the awareness of this content? (Which in my opinion is who we really are.) We can start by being the observer of our own process. We can notice when anger, worry or any other negative emotion, feeling or thought comes up. We can say “anger coming up” or “anxiety movie starting now”.  We can disengage from “I don’t want or like what is happening now” and just be with what is going on within us, without judgment or wishing it was something else. Now we are no longer reacting. Now we can be responsible which means “able to respond.” That’s freedom, the ability to choose a response instead of reacting.

Here’s something to try that is very simple. It will take 5 minutes and will give you the chance to see your content in all its glory.

Find 5 minutes where you won’t be disturbed, put a candle on a table, light it and set a timer for 5 minutes. Focus on the candle flame. Very quickly, you’ll notice your focus being taken off the flame and drawn towards your mind’s content. It might look like this: “I don’t have time for this…I’m tired…There was something I needed to do…This reminds me of…that candle smells good…that person is such a …”

Just observe what is happening. Watch the stuff just roll on by without getting attached to it.  This is the essence of meditation.

Let me ask you a question: what would happen if you were to do this every day for 5 minutes? I invite you to try it and see.

If you liked this post, please leave a comment and/or share it with your social networks using the buttons below.

Your companion on the path to Transformation,

Ted

A Simple and Effective Technique for Pain Relief.

If I showed you a simple and effective technique for pain relief, would you use it? How about if it worked for stress? Anxiety?

It’s called EFT or “tapping” and I’ve been teaching this to almost every one of my clients for years. I even posted a video demonstrating it. I use it, and it works for me.

When I was first introduced to this technique, I dismissed it. It looked weird.  But I kept hearing about it from other hypnotherapists, wellness practitioners, and thought leaders such as Joe Vitale, Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra. I decided to learn it, and the first person I taught it to came back and said “Wow, that really works.”

In fact, tapping has become so popular there is now a Tapping World Summit!  The video above was produced for the Tapping World Summit but has really good info about tapping.

Check it out, and if your curiosity is aroused, then check out the official EFT website. You can also type “tapping” or EFT into YouTube and you’ll find hundreds of videos on this very useful and effective tool.

Hope this info is helpful!

Ted

Do You Have a Fear of Driving?

driving anxiety

As a hypnotherapist who helps people with fears and phobias, one of the most common fears that people come to me for is fear of driving.

Here is a link to one of my articles published by the Hypnosis Motivation Institute College of Hypnotherapy. “How to Deal With Driving Anxiety”

I’m also featured as an expert in a book that has just been published: “How to Overcome Fear of Driving: The Road to Driving Confidence” by Joanne Mallon, available on Amazon.com in both paperback and kindle version. I’ll be getting the paperback version so that I can photocopy my comments, frame them and hang them on the wall. (Just kidding, I think…)

Joanne is interviewed in this article published in the UK: Fear of Driving and How to Overcome It.  No wonder they are afraid to drive, they are driving on the wrong side of the road! (Sorry, couldn’t help myself.)

If you have a fear of driving, I can help and I have a special offer for you until Feb 1st. Call me at (626) 826-0612 or click here to contact me by email.

Safe Driving!

Ted

Is Your Self Expression Waiting to Get Out?

megaphone

One Sunday when I was about 6 or 7 years old, I was sitting with my dad in church. As a kid I always had a stuffy nose and my nose was kind of running while I was sitting there. I didn’t have a kleenex  and I didn’t know what to do.

I know this is kinda of gross, but I was a little kid, so I wiped my nose with the inside of my hand and wiped it on my pants. Then I became really uncomfortable and my nose was still running. I started to get more and more miserable  by the second as I wiped my nose again with my hand and wiped it on my pants. I was beside myself with shame and embarrassment and I wanted to cry. I guess I spoke up or my dad noticed and he offered my a hanky, which I accepted with relief and gratitude. “Why didn’t you say something?” he asked me. I didn’t answer because I really didn’t know why.

Now I know. Read more

How to Release Negative Emotions Quickly and Easily

In an hour hypnosis session, the hypnosis part is only about 20 minutes. The remainder of the time I’m talking with my client, getting information, setting goals, and teaching them various techniques to add to their transformation toolbox.

One of the most valuable tools that I teach almost every client is EFT, which stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT is in my experience  quite effective for quickly letting go of negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, and sadness. It can also be used for physical problems as well.

In this short video I teach how to do EFT. It’s simple, easy and effective. To learn more about EFT go to www.emofree.com.

 

Self Hypnosis and the Stars

Celebrities have used hypnosis or self hypnosis for relaxation, career success and to quit smoking. Why not learn this valuable tool for yourself?

You can! Register for the Self Hypnosis for Success Class being offered again at Pasadena City College starting  Saturday, January 24th, and continuing for the next two Saturdays: January 31st and February 7th  from 9 am to 10:30 am. Click here to register!

You can use this valuable tool to:

  • Overcome bad habits such as procrastination
  • Gain confidence
  • Increase motivation
  • Release limiting beliefs
  • Achieve business success
  • Release fear and anxiety
  • And much more!

Reserve your spot by clicking here.

In this class, you will learn:

  • What hypnosis is and isn’t
  • How to do a hypnotic induction on yourself
  • Crafting suggestions to put into your subconscious mind
  • How to put it all together to reprogram your subconscious mind for success in just a few minutes a day
  • Little known, yet powerful tips and techniques for keeping your mind sharp, powerful and positive! (Most of this valuable information I only share with clients paying me $137 a session.)

You’ll receive my Guide to Self Hypnosis and my Self Hypnosis Conditioning CD, which also includes my studio produced “Peaceful Place” relaxation track as an added bonus. In addition, you’ll get handouts at each class containing the material presented. Click here to register.

Here are some comments from the course evaluations I’ve received from previous classes:

  • “Has really motivated me  to improve from day one. Very well organized.”
  • “The whole class was wonderful!”
  • “…so much motivational talk -that was great!
  • “The class is perfect!”

Why do the rich and famous become rich and famous? Well, there are many reasons, but first and foremost, they knew what they wanted, they believed they could get it and they took ACTION. This is called a “success mindset” and you can have it too by using the powerful tool of self hypnosis.

A subconscious mind is a terrible thing to waste! Put it to work for you.  Click here to register for Self Hypnosis for Success.