Anticipatory Anxiety: How to Stop Fearing What Hasn’t Happened: Episode 444

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Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety we experience in anticipation of doing things that frighten us. Call it the fear of being afraid. If we perceive something will be fearful for us, or if we have found that situation fearful in the past, we can become so unwilling to go through that fear again that we start making ourselves afraid or anxious even before anything’s happened. Anticipatory anxiety can shut us down and stop us cold. So, what can we do to keep anticipatory anxiety at bay? In this episode, Ted talks about how to stop creating fear and anxiety for yourself about something that has not happened. If you have driving anxiety, social anxiety or any kind of anxiety, check out this episode.

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I bought the house I live in in the middle of the recession in 2009. My hypnotherapy practice was very slow. A scary thought started eating its way into my mind like a parasite. It went like this: “Because of this recession, I’m going to lose my house and I just bought it.” This thought grew in intensity and fear as I continued to feed the parasite with negative scenarios, such as imagining me and my wife packing up our stuff and moving back into an apartment, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. I had been in tough financial situations in the past which had caused me a lot of anxiety and fear.

It got to the point where I found myself expecting something bad to happen. Because of the negative vibes I was sending out, my business phone stopped ringing almost completely, which made the situation even worse. I was as nervous as a snail crossing the highway. I was experiencing anticipatory anxiety which is the fear of what might happen.

One night I was lying in bed kind of freaking out, thinking about all the past pickles I’d found myself in. All of a sudden it occurred to me that I had been in situations much more dire and had managed to make it through. I’d never been homeless, always had enough to eat, and always had people willing to help me out. I realized that I had been creating frightening images in my mind that simply had not happened. I was scaring the crap out of myself. (I call this scatpooy, by the way, which stands for scaring the poop out of yourself.)

The truth was, I was not even close to losing my house. Yet, I was imagining it as if it was already happening. Because the mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined, these scary scenarios were creating fear and anxiety in me. That night, I stopped focusing on what I didn’t want. I wrote some goals down, and started to focus and think about what I wanted, which was prosperity, abundance and happiness.

We think that worry will protect us. It won’t. We think that having anxiety will prepare us. It won’t. In fact, all anxiety does is shut us down.

It’s good to be concerned, and it’s wise to plan for eventualities. It’s smart to see the writing on the wall and be prepared with a contingency plan. It’s another thing entirely to create fear and worry over something that doesn’t exist or that hasn’t happened yet. To imagine something bad happening before it’s happened is not helpful.

In my work with clients, typically people who have anticipatory anxiety are already anxious about things like driving, social situations, test taking, or even being able to perform in bed. The thought that creates anticipatory anxiety is “What if…”

For example, someone who is anxious while driving might avoid driving altogether because of the thought “What if I have a panic attack while driving?” even though it may have been years since they had a panic attack. Of course, this kind of thinking makes anxiety and even a panic attack more likely to happen. It’s a vicious cycle of fear.

Someone who has social anxiety might think “What if I get self-conscious and turn red and people notice that I’m uncomfortable?”

Call it the fear of being afraid. If we perceive something will be fearful for us, or if we have found that situation fearful in the past, we can become so unwilling to go through that fear again that we start making ourselves afraid or anxious even before anything’s happened. There’s a great article on Psychology today titled “Anticipatory Anxiety: Bleeding Before You Are Cut.” It goes on to say that:

· Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety we experience in anticipation of doing things that frighten us.

· Anticipatory anxiety is the third layer of anxiety—the avoidance aspect.

Anticipatory anxiety can shut us down and stop us cold. So, what can we do to keep anticipatory anxiety at bay?

The first thing to do is to be clear about what you want, and not focus on what you don’t want. You might say “My intention is to be calm and comfortable while driving.” Or “I want to feel calm and in control in social situations. Write it down like a goal. Start to direct your mind towards the outcome you want to see and get your mind more familiar with that. Ask yourself “How would my life be better if I can be free from this fear or anxiety?”

Second, try to see reality clearly if you can. Anticipatory anxiety can cloud your vision. Get present to what’s happening now, instead of the disaster that you think will happen. Then deal with what is in front of you. If you can do that, you’ll see that it’s probably not as bad as the horror film in your head. Get out of your head and into your body. Breathe and take some steps to calm yourself down in the moment. Are you exaggerating? Are you catastrophizing a little too much? Can you step back just a bit and say, “Well, it probably won’t be that bad?”

Next, change your language. Check what you’re saying to yourself. Does it sound something like this “Oh my god, I just know that this is going to be terrible?” If so then, stop and ask yourself: “How do I know that? Can I predict the future? How do I know that it’s going to be terrible?” Answer: you don’t. Even if it has been that way before, remember the past does not have to equal the future. Every thought is a prayer to the universe and all human creation starts in the mind. Use daily affirmations to change your pattern of self-talk. My favorite affirmation is this: “Right here, right now, everything is ok.” Practice calming yourself now as you think about the situation that’s coming up. This will help to associate calm and relaxation with the situation. It’s easier than calming yourself when you are in the middle of it.

The next step is to determine what actions you can take now to prepare, remedy, or plan for the situation that’s worrying you. Ask “How can I make this more manageable for myself?” Realize that for every problem, there is a solution. It may not be the ideal solution but try something. Doing nothing leaves you even more paralyzed and stuck with that churning feeling in your gut.

Lastly, see if you can cultivate trust and confidence in your ability to overcome fear. I can assure you of this: you have no idea how resilient you can be. Sometimes we need to be put to the test to force us to reach deep down inside for courage, resourcefulness and plain ole grit. You’ve got to tell yourself every day” I refuse to use the immense power of my imagination to create fear and anxiety for myself. I’m up for this challenge; it may not go my way but I won’t let it take me down.” Accept that some things are scary and that your mind is doing what it needs to do to keep you safe. Don’t beat yourself up for being afraid. The key is to face the fear and move through it.

We have these amazing imaginations that allow us to imagine things that don’t exist. This allows us to create first in our minds, then in reality, amazing accomplishments, dreams and desires. Or using that same amazing imagination, we can create the most frightful scenarios that leave us trembling and disempowered.

It all starts in the mind. How will you use the incredible power of your mind?

Speaking of the incredible power of your mind, if you need some help tapping into that power to overcome fear and anxiety, I invite you to reach out and request a complimentary consultation. Go to tedmoreno.com/contact, send me an email and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours. We’ll have a conversation to see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching is right for you and if it is, we’ll get started with your first hypnotherapy session.

In closing, let me leave you with a quote by Alfred Hitchcock:

“There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.”

Thanks for reading this and have a great day.

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

If you need some help tapping into your mindpower to overcome fear and anxiety, reach out and request a complimentary consultation. Go to TedMoreno.com/contact., send an email and Ted will get back to you within 48 hours. You’ll have a conversation to see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching is right for you and if it is, you can get started with your first hypnotherapy session

 

7 Steps to Change Scarcity Consciousness to an Abundance Mindset – Episode 443

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Scarcity consciousness or a “lack” mentality is often the result of childhood programming and decisions that we make subconsciously. To shift into an abundance mindset requires an awareness of this programming and taking steps to counteract it and create a new way of looking at prosperity. In this episode, Ted shares his experience with having years of scarcity consciousness and how he managed to break out of it. He discusses the 7 steps he took to make it happen. If he can do it, you so can you.

In Deepak Chopra’s book “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, he tells a story about the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, the guy that founded Transcendental Meditation as well as the guy the Beatles hung out with in India.

The Maharishi wanted to organize a massive pilgrimage and attract hundreds of thousands of people to the event. However, the Maharishi was poor and didn’t have a lot of money. Nevertheless, he continued to plan for the event. One of his organizers, seeing the clear lack of financial resources, approached him. “Sir”, he said, “This is a noble effort, yet it is significant in size and cost. Where will the money come from?” The Maharishi replied, “From wherever it is now.

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When I read this, I was blown away. Talk about faith. Talk about confidence. Talk about a totally different mindset from what most people have.

I don’t know too many people that have this kind of “abundance consciousness”. What seems much more common is “scarcity consciousness”: the feeling that there is not enough. What’s interesting is that this scarcity consciousness seems to have little to do with how much what we actually have.

Examining Scarcity Consciousness

Examining my own life, I’m able to identify some reasons for my own scarcity consciousness in the past. I wonder if any of you can relate.

There were 8 kids in my family, and until I was in the 6th grade my mom stayed at home while my dad worked at his own business. Dad spent a lot of time at work to support eight kids.

As a child, I could see that he was stressed out. It seemed to me that to own a business and try to make money was not a good thing, as it meant you would be stressed out and not be able to spend time with your kids.

I went to a Catholic grammar school and high school. In 12 years of my schooling, there was never any discussion of success, money, how to make it, what to do with it, or why we should even care. In fact, the message I received was quite the opposite: money is the root of all evil, if you want money, you are greedy, and it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.

I entered college with no real goals and certainly no desire to make a lot of money. After slumming my way through college and eventually dropping out, I had a succession of in-home sales jobs which left me struggling financially and in debt.

I got a “real” job in a mall at a Things Remembered store, but got fired because I kept forgetting to turn on the revolving tower of key blanks. When I got into my car to drive home, my car wouldn’t start.

That night I found an ad in the employment section of the newspaper promising “High pay in a rock and roll atmosphere!”

To make a long story short, I took the job, (another in- home sales gig) started making a lot of money, gave my beater car away and bought a used Pontiac Fiero. After a few more months, I lent the Fiero to a friend, and started driving a Porsche. Then I found out that the owners of the company were con men. I quit the job, turned in the Porsche, got back the Fiero (payments were not kept up) and was struggling again. My girlfriend dumped me, I got evicted from my apartment, and my Fiero got repossessed. (Check out episode 439 of my podcast to get the full story.)

At that point, (1987, 27 years old) I remember making five decisions which would reinforce whatever scarcity consciousness I had and impact my life for more than a decade:

· To aspire to make a lot of money means you must cheat people.

· It’s better to be poor (maybe I’ll become a monk…)

· I never want to own a business.

· I never want to get married or have kids.

· I never want to own a house.

In the years that followed, I struggled constantly with a lack of money, but I also did a lot of work on my own personal self development. Somehow, in spite of those experiences and decisions, from 2003 to 2009 I managed to start a business, get married, have kids and buy a house. I had let go of a lot of my scarcity consciousness.

What changed? Here’s what I did:

1. I created desire. I wanted more. I said “I’m tired of being poor.” I started writing down goals. I began to create in my mind what I wanted. Instead of looking at people that had more than me with resentment and envy, I started to ask myself, how can I do that? 2. I started studying the principles of success. I started reading books like Think and Grow Rich, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, and Busting Loose from the Money Game. I started listening to audio recordings by Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Deepak Chopra, Bob Proctor, Jim Rohn. I started learning.

3. I started to talk to myself differently. I stopped calling myself names. I stopped complaining. I stopped being so negative and tried to be more positive. I would say affirmations first thing in the morning and late thing at night. I stopped saying things like I’m broke, I can’t afford it, I have no money. I started to reprogram my mind for abundance by changing what I said in my head and out loud.

4. I started taking better care of myself. I started eating better. I had always put the credit card companies, rent, and car payment first before I bought groceries. I changed that and started buying good food and having food in my fridge. This made such a huge difference. I took myself out occasionally for dinner or lunch at a nice place and that made me feel abundant. Interestingly, I started taking better care of my stuff too, like my car and my apartment.

5. I started to donate money. I figured that I had enough money to donate 15 bucks a month to a children’s charity. That made me feel good. As I looked at how other people in the world lived with much less than me, this made me feel like I was making a difference in the world. It made me feel that I had enough money that I could give some away. This was a game changer.

6. I started seeing myself as abundant. I stopped seeing myself as a broke college kid and started seeing myself as already possessing abundance. I saw a quote recently that said “If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your body, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep, you’re richer than 75% of the entire world.” It appears that all things being equal, this is true for the most part. Instead of focusing on what I lacked, I started to focus on what I had and how I make my life better.

7. Gratitude. You knew this was coming didn’t you? I became grateful for everything and started affirming how grateful I was daily. Not only for what I had as far as material possessions, which were meager, but for my family, for my health, for the beauty in the world, for my friends, for the good times, and for my life.

But the effects of subconscious programming run deep and exist at a level most of us are not aware of. I’ve become aware that I still have work to do to counteract the negative programming of my early years.

I can’t blame anyone or anything for whatever scarcity consciousness I created for myself. I continue to read, study, do affirmations, seminars, self-reflection, self-hypnosis and a lot of hard work to create a higher level of “abundance consciousness”.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

If you have a lack mentality or scarcity consciousness and you are aware of that, you can do something about it. If you need help, request a free complimentary consultation with me by going to TedMoreno.com/contact. We’ll talk and see if hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching is the right path for you.

The Privilege of Growing Older – Episode 442

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There comes a point, somewhere in your late 40’s or early 50’s, where you look in the mirror and I becomes clear to you that you are not a kid anymore. What happened? Life happened the way it  should. The only powerful choice we can make in the face of aging is to accept our ongoing journey with grace and dignity. If we can do that, we will find what it takes to continue growing, exploring and living in a way that is always inspiring.

 


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This morning I took my car into the dealership to get the oil changed. While I was standing around in the waiting room eating one of the free donuts, a young lady from the sales department walked up to me. She said “Hi, How are you?”

I said “Ok.”

She said, “Would you do me a favor?”

I said “Ok.”

She said, “I’d like to offer you a demo ride in one of our new cars.”

Now, I didn’t go there for a test drive, but I am thinking about getting another car and giving my car to my daughter who is driving now, and my wife’s been bugging me about dragging my feet about that, so I said sure.

We went for a test drive, and she told me that she had been working there for 3 months. I told her she had a lot of courage to just walk up to someone and offer them a test drive. I sold cars once and it had never occurred to me to do that.

She was maybe in her 20s. She said she was determined to be successful but that she still had a lot to learn. I told her that if she persisted and continued to have confidence that she would be ok. I told her that selling cars can be a cutthroat business and you need to be tough. I told her that she already had the grit and guts to make it happen if she wanted to.

Right then I felt the benefit of all my 64 years of experience. She was at the beginning of her journey, and I already had a lot of miles behind me.

I thought back to my days selling cars and how scary it could be to just walk up to someone and start talking to them. I was shy and kind of introverted, but I was able to move beyond those limitations as I grew older.

Getting older is a privilege, it’s a gift. You get to get old. Growing old is a privilege that’s not available to everyone. Many are “Done too soon” to quote a Neil Diamond song. When informed of their youthful passing, we say, “How sad, they had their whole life ahead of them.” Yet, many of us, when we reach the place of obvious and apparent aging, are more likely to quote the words of MickJagger: “What a drag it is getting old.”

There comes a point, different for everybody, somewhere in your late 40’s maybe early 50s. You look in the mirror and it becomes clear to you, you are not a kid anymore. Or you see a photo of yourself, 10 years ago, obviously looking much different. What happened?

Life happened, as it should, and the only powerful choice we can make is so to accept our ongoing journeys with grace and dignity. I’m talking about being present to all of it, and fully embracing the inevitability of the natural course of life.

Why not celebrate the fact that we have arrived at a chapter of seniority in our story, and commit or re-commit to living life fully and passionately each and every day? After all, there is no guarantee of tomorrow.

I’m in no way suggesting that we embrace slowing down, or that we give up activities that we love, or be resigned in the face of our mortality. I’m suggesting that we have gratitude for however many years of life we have been given.

Aging is challenging, that’s a fact. Aches and pains, necessary surgeries, gaining weight, less energy, friends and family members pass away. We lose things in the process of aging – most obviously youth, a precious commodity in our culture. How can we celebrate the loss of these things that have become so vital to our lives?

I think the key is to step back and see what we have gained: wisdom, experience, life lessons, maybe children, or grown children that are finally able to give back to you. Hopefully, we have gained love, experiences (both good and bad), and a perspective gained only from walking the walk, through the up and down, thick, and thin, rain or snow.

Think about what people go through to stay connected to life, which seems to get more precious when it might not last as long as you thought.

At one time I volunteered at a senior facility, reading the newspaper for a woman, eighty something, who had no practical use of her body. Trapped in her useless body was an incredibly sharp mind; she had been an educator with a master’s degree.

Her family was back east and rarely visited, so she looked forward to our time together. We would talk a lot, and one time I asked her: “Would you rather not be alive?”

She said “I like being alive, in spite of it all. I can still hear the birds and listen to music. I can see the sunlight and trees through the window. I want to live.”

I don’t know if I would have the same attitude. I don’t know if I would be able to celebrate aging if I was chronically sick, or in constant pain or sorrow or depression or hopeless.

But for the grace of God, I’m not. Chances are, neither are you. And if you are, maybe that could change.

I like to look to the natural world for inspiration wisdom. It’s spring now, and things are blooming after a long, cold rainy winter here in Southern California. The trees on my street that are many years older than me have woken from their winter slumber and are starting to bud. This time of year corresponds with the Easter holiday for Christians, which is a time of renewal, new life, and re-birth as celebrated by the resurrection of Jesus. The word Easter comes from the word Oestre, the Germanic spring goddess.

We all have the opportunity for renewal, regardless of how old we are. We still have the ability to change, to grow and to learn something new. The perspective of age can help us to see more clearly what is important and what needs to be released.

I know at least three men, one older than me and two slightly younger who are coming to the realization that spending time with loved ones is more important than working to pay off nice stuff like cars and big houses.

At 64 years of age I’ve started lifting weights, reading more, and exploring new interests.

You can’t allow yourself to get cynical and resigned. As long as you breathe, there is hope for a better day, for a new way and for a new way to play in the fields of your life.

There’s hope for a greater ability to endure the hard times with peace, grace, and dignity, along with the hope of continuing exploration, growth, and joy. I wish this for you and for me.

I’m glad I’ve made it this far, 64 years. At least for today, I’m enjoying the privilege of getting older.

Are you having trouble again gracefully? Maybe a shift of perspective is all that’s needed. If I can be of any help, reach out for a complimentary phone consultation to see if hypnotherapy is right for you. You can get in touch with me at tedmoreno.com/contact. You are not too old and it is not too late to dive into your increasing depths where life calmly gives out it’s own secret. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Thanks for reading this and take good care,

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click Here >

Are you having trouble again gracefully? Maybe a shift of perspective is all that’s needed. Reach out for a complimentary phone consultation with Ted to see if hypnotherapy is right for you. You can get in touch with Ted at tedmoreno.com/contact. He’ll get back to you asap.

 

5 Ways to Get Free from a Funk – Episode 441

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Have  you ever been in a funk? You know: unmotivated, lethargic, something’s off, feeling deflated, sad and not right? We all have, and it’s not fun, so we want to get out of the funk as soon as possible.

Ted Moreno, the Funkmeister himself, has spent more time in funks than you can imagine. In this episode, Ted shares from his own experience,  5 ways to free yourself from the funk and get unstuck from the muck so you can move forward and get stuff done and have some fun. Don’t beat yourself up for being a funker, instead, listen to this episode!

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Have you ever had one of those days or weeks where you just feel stuck? Unable to act? Unmotivated, lethargic, not right? A bit burned out? If so, then you know how it feels to be in a funk.

I’m not talking about being funky, like funky music. I’m talking about feeling kind of down, deflated, sad, a little depressed, and melancholy, like you’ve got the blues. Feeling stuck.

Or maybe you wake up one day and you’re not feeling well rested; somethings off, something hurts, you’re not feeling well but it’s not really a cold or some kind of sickness, it’s just, you know, feeling stuck in a funk.

Well guess what, you are in good company, because everyone feels this way sometimes.

I used to be a real funkster, like, in a funk like all the time.

When I was in my teens and early 20s, I was the Funkmeister and not in a good way. I was kind of blue a lot of the time, just feeling funked up. (Read about it in my book.) That changed when I started to really work on myself using the following strategies that I’ll share with you here. I still find myself in a funk occasionally, but it never lasts more than a few hours now.

Being in a funk is no fun; it can stop us from doing what we need to do, feeling the way we want to feel and being who we want to be. So, here are 5 ways to get free from a funk and get unstuck from the muck.

1. Acknowledge, Accept and Ask. This first step is really important. You want to sit down, take a breath, and say to yourself “I am in a funk. I accept that I’m in this place, and I am asking my mind, what’s going on, and what can I do to get out of this.”

You don’t want to beat yourself up and make it worse by saying “I suck because I’m in this funk” or “I’m such a stupid funcker for feeling this way.” No, be nice to yourself.

You want to breathe, get connected to your body’s wisdom, and allow your mind and body to give you some information that might be helpful. You also want to give yourself some positive affirmations such as, “I’ll get through this, this is temporary, this too will pass.” Be there for yourself.

So for instance,

· You might realize that it’s the anniversary of losing someone you loved, as in a death or breakup.

· If you’re a woman, you might realize that you are going to start your period soon.

· Or maybe something happened. Somebody said or did something that is still stuck in your head, like a pebble in your shoe; you’re kind of ignoring it or repressing it.

· Perhaps you saw or heard something on the radio or social media that made you feel sad or fearful or insecure.

If you take the time to AAA, you might find that something bubbles up to the surface as to why you are feeling this way, and if that happens, you can address it consciously instead of letting it run you. If nothing bubbles up, it’s still ok. Sometimes it’s sunny and sometimes it’s gloomy and sometimes we don’t know why. That’s the way life is and that’s where acceptance comes in. Either way, move on to take step number 2.

2. Become Number 1. In other words, prioritize yourself and your self-care. Start by asking yourself: “Am I doing the things I know I need to do to feel my best?” If not, get back to doing those things by doing as many of them as you can even if you can’t do all of them.

· Basic stuff such as good sleep, good nutrition and moving your body. Are you drinking enough water? Dehydration can leave us feeling low on energy and achy and fatigued.

· How about supplementation? Have you fallen out of the habit of taking your supplements? If supplementation is not your habit, consider that it might help and be a good thing to do for a while. Consider getting more electrolytes, iron, vitamin B, or Vitamin D.

· Speaking of vitamin D, are you getting enough sunlight and fresh air? We tend to forgot how important these things are. If you live in a cold climate where you can’t go outside, consider getting a happy light, which is a full spectrum light that prompts your body’s natural energy enhancers to help you relax, focus and feel revitalized. This can be helpful if you are subject to SAD, seasonal affective disorder, which some people suffer from when there is a lack of sunlight due to the change in seasons.

· Moving your body is so important to get free from the funk. Don’t go crazy and hurt yourself or over-stress your body. If you are in a funk, you are in a bit of a weakened state so take it easy and don’t overdo it. Walking, jogging, yoga, whatever you can do, even if it’s not as much as you do, do something.

· And when it comes to taking good care of yourself when you are in a funk, you want to avoid alcohol and smoking marijuana which could make things worse because these are depressants and will add to your lethargy and lack of energy. Try not to medicate unless it’s over the counter stuff for cramps

and/or pain. Be aware and conscious of what your body is telling you. And avoid doom scrolling on social media.

3. Clear the deck. This means creating space by removing unnecessary things so that you are ready for action.

· For example, cleaning out a desk drawer or closet and getting rid of stuff or uncluttering. We think we own our stuff but often it owns us and has the tendency to create clutter in our homes and in our minds. Letting go of stuff allows flow to happen.

· You might need to clear engagements or appointments that you are not ready for or really don’t want to do.

· Maybe you need to let someone go in your life that is bringing you down, such as a partner, friend, or associate. This could potentially be a big decision so put some thought and consideration into it.

· Journaling can be a great way to create space in your mind. Getting all the head stuff and head trash out and onto paper can be a way of unburdening yourself. Explore thoughts, feelings, past experiences, and future expectations. Create or reinforce outcomes such as goals, dreams, and desires. Balance this with gratitude for the good fortune you now have in your life.

4. Open the curtains, let the light in and the funk out. What inspires you? What prompts you to be your best self? What makes you laugh and feel good?

· Is it going out with friends that are positive, encouraging, and supportive or maybe just lunch with your mentor or best friend? Don’t show up and throw up all your troubles, just hang out and be free from them for a while.

· Is it dancing, playing music, or making art?

· Getting out in nature has been a prescription for what ails you since recorded history. Even just sitting in a park with lots of trees. As you know, I walk around a lake most days of the week.

· How about your favorite feel-good movies that leave you feeling positive and upbeat? Or a good book?

· Bring in something new. A new class. A new project. Do something you haven’t done before. The key to burnout is novelty.

· Don’t forget the power of positive affirmations and self-talk including gratitude.

5. Hack a pathway out of the funk. Structure, planning, scheduling, and organizing sound boring but they are some of the keys to success. You might have to spend a

few hours or a day sitting around feeling funky but as soon as you can, make a plan to do something. Make a list before you go to bed at night, so you have something to reach for when you wake up. Give yourself some direction. Get an accountability partner to help you. Do what you can to take some action because when you are in a funk the best thing to do is something. Make it something good.

So there, do you feel that funk lifting just a bit? I hope so. If you need some help freeing yourself from feeling stuck in a funk, reach out to me at tedmoreno.com/contact and we’ll talk and see if hypnotherapy and high performance coaching is right for you.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

If you need some help freeing yourself from feeling stuck in a funk, reach out to Ted at TedMoreno.com/contact and request a complimentary consultation to talk and see if hypnotherapy and high performance coaching is right for you.

Here’s a quote:

“Never fear to deliberately walk through dark places, for that is how you reach the light on the other side.” — Vernon Howard

Thanks for reading this!

Ted

 

The Link Between Pain and Anxiety– Episode 440

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Chronic pain and anxiety have a strong relationship to each other. Anxiety can cause or increase pain and pain can cause anxiety. This can cause a “negative feedback loop” making life increasingly unbearable for those that suffer from pain and anxiety.

Understanding the possibility of anxiety as the cause of unexplainable pain is the first step to healing. In addition, addressing the anxiety caused by chronic pain make pain more manageable. In this episode, Ted discusses the link between anxiety and pain as well as what you can do to feel better.

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I work a lot with people who come in with chronic pain but can’t figure out why. Things like back pain, shoulder pain, neck pain, stomach pain. They’ve been to all the doctors, done all the tests, taken the meds, but still can’t get the pain to go away and can’t find a reason for it. As a hypnotherapist, in these types of cases I’m always looking for an emotional reason for the pain and there are many. Anxiety is one very common reason why people have pain.

Chronic pain and anxiety have a strong relationship with each other. Anxiety can cause or exacerbate chronic pain in some people. But chronic pain can also cause anxiety. According to an article titled “Depression and Anxiety in Pain” by Adam KM Woo on the National Library of Medicine website:

· Mood disorders, especially depression and anxiety, play an important role in the exacerbation of pain perception in all clinical settings.

· Anxiety negatively affects thoughts and behaviors which hinders rehabilitation.

This article goes on to make the really important point that pain is no longer seen as a problem in the body such as a lesion that is perceived by the brain as pain. Today, pain is seen from what is called a biopsychosocial model. This model for understanding pain considers not only tissue damage, (physical damage to the body), but also, psychological and environmental factors that are interacting to create the pain experience. According to an article on the Twin Cities Pain Clinic website:

People with chronic pain are three times more likely to develop symptoms of anxiety. Researchers have found that experiencing a chronic illness puts a person at increased risk for developing anxiety or an anxiety disorder.

In other words, anxiety can cause pain, and pain can cause anxiety and depression as well.

Anybody that has ever suffered from chronic pain knows that it’s very stressful. Pain can affect our jobs, our relationships and ultimately our ability to be happy. Especially if the people around you can’t understand your pain or think that you’re imagining it or that it’s “all in your head.”

Chronic, persistent anxiety can also make people more sensitive to any pain they already have. The more they focus or obsess on the pain, the worse it gets, which can in turn increase anxiety which is what we might call the negative feedback loop.

Anxiety can cause pain such as chest pains from panic attacks, stress headaches, and muscle pain.

There are several reasons for this. When we’re stressed, we feel tension in the body; our muscles are tense. This can lead to back, neck and shoulder pain. Chronic tension in the body can also lead to joint pain, as well as headaches and even migraines.

In addition, anxiety and stress trigger hormones that cause inflammation in the body which is one of the most common reasons for pain.

There’s a very popular book by an author by the name of John Sarno called Healing Back Pain, the Mind Body Connection. If you have chronic back pain, I recommend you check out this book. Sarno came up with the term Tension Myositis Syndrome or TMS. According to Wikipedia, Sarno claims that TMS is a psychosomatic illness causing chronic back, neck, and limb pain which is not relieved by standard medical treatments. (Psychosomatic medicine studies physical diseases that are believed to have a mental component derived from stresses and strains of everyday living.)

His theory is that unexplainable pain is a distraction to help people continue to repress unconscious emotional issues.

The TMS syndrome diagnosis is not accepted by the mainstream medical community but then again, the idea of the mind body connection is still not fully understood by mainstream medicine.

The idea of pain being caused by repressed emotional issues is a completely different topic that requires its own deep dive and I’m not going to go there in this episode. But if you listened to my recent podcast Episode 438 titled “5 Hidden Costs of Living with Chronic Anxiety”, then you know that some people don’t even know that they have anxiety. Could it be possible that chronic pain is the result of repressed anxiety or fear that someone may not even know that they have? I think it is possible.

In the same way, there are people that are in pain that don’t want to take the time or effort to deal with it and choose to live with it. They just block it out or try to medicate it with pain meds or other substances. This can create anxiety. This is not a recipe for a healthy happy life.

So many of us are so busy and so overwhelmed that we have lost touch with what we are feeling both physically and emotionally. We owe it to ourselves to pay attention to the signals that our body and our mind are giving us. I’ve devoted a lot of podcasts and blog posts to dealing with anxiety. Here are 3 things that I think are important for dealing with both pain and anxiety.

First, make a commitment to take better care of yourself. Good sleep, good food, exercise, and sufficient downtime can all go a long way towards mitigating or lessening pain and anxiety. I personally feel that chiropractic, acupuncture, and massage can be incredibly helpful for both body pain and anxiety.

Second, mindfulness practices such as yoga, tai chi, meditation, and deep breathing exercises are practices that are thousands of years old and proven to support a higher level of mental and physical health. There’s a yoga joint now in every city, go check one out. Every heard of Reiki? Check it out.

Third, ask for help. I know it’s hard sometimes. I know you’ve already got too much going on. I know that you feel that you don’t have the time or energy or the financial resources to get help. However, let’s focus on what’s possible instead of looking at what’s impossible. If we look for a way to make it happen, usually we can find a way. Find a therapist to help you with your anxieties and fears. Or start by seeking out a pain management specialist or start by going to your doctor if you’ve been putting that off. Start somewhere to make life better by feeling less anxious and more comfortable in your body.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

And of course, if this podcast episode resonated with you and got you thinking and possibly motivated to start addressing both pain and anxiety using the powerful tools of hypnotherapy and high-performance coaching, I invite you to request a complimentary consultation to see if what I do is a good fit for you. You can do that by going to TedMoreno.com/contact.

Here is today’s awesome quote by John Sarno:

We must learn to recognize nature’s truths even though we don’t understand them, for some of those truths may still be beyond the ability of the human mind to comprehend. What we need is a compound prescription of humility, imagination, devotion to the truth and, above all, confidence in the eternal wisdom of nature.

Thanks for being here!

Ted

The Power of Asking for What You Want– Episode 439

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I was speaking with a client last night and I told him the following story. It’s a great story, so I thought I would share it with you.

In 1987 I had a sales job that involved going into people’s homes and trying to sell them stuff. It was a very tough gig. It was the kind of deal where the managers of the business wore flashy jewelry, drove flashier cars, and yelled a lot.

I had just started on my own personal development journey and was reading books like “Think and Grow Rich”. I started to make a list of goals, and I decided that I wanted to drive a Porsche.

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Now, at this point in my life I was barely able to make my $250 rent, and this sales job was not helping. But I did what one of the books suggested and cut out a picture of a Porsche and hung it on my wall. I even knew enough to write it down, and it went something like this: “I’m driving a Porsche down I-10 listening to a Dire Straits cassette” (One of my favorite bands at the time, when everyone was using cassettes). Now, please keep in mind that I was in my 20’s, single, naïve, and a little bit of a knucklehead.

Somehow, a few months later, I managed to win a sales contest during a period of “feast” in my sales (as opposed to famine). The prize was that the winners would get flown from Phoenix, Arizona, where I lived at the time, to Huntington Beach, CA, where the owner of the company lived. We would sail with him on his yacht to Catalina Island off the coast of California, where he would treat us to a nice dinner and put us up in a hotel for the night. So we did. The next day, on the yacht while sailing back to the mainland, the owner of the company and I were talking. “So, Ted,” he asked me “What kind of car do you see yourself driving?” I definitely had an answer to that question so I told him. “I would like to drive a Porsche!”

So, we made a deal. If I agreed to open a franchise in Tucson in the next few months, he would put me in a Porsche today. “Sure!” I replied. He got on his boat phone and made a short call during which he asked me “What color?” “Red” I said.

When we arrived at Huntington Harbor, there, sitting on the dock, was a brand new, 1987 Porsche 930. Seventy-five thousand dollars’ worth of the world’s finest driving machinery, red as the blood that flows through my veins.

The owner of the company handed me the keys, I got in, and immediately drove to my parent’s house in Los Angeles to show off. I asked my dad if he had any music for me to listen to, and he gave me, you guessed it, a Dire Straits cassette. I drove back to Phoenix on I-10.

True story. Looking back, what I find interesting is that I wasn’t amazed that someone had given me the keys to a Porsche 930 to drive as my own. It didn’t occur to me that I had manifested what I wanted using visualization and affirmation. All I did was ask and I got what I asked for. When I hung the picture of the Porsche on the wall, I wasn’t feeling anxious, or wondering how I was going to get it, or worried that I wouldn’t. I just hung it there, thinking that it was a cool thing to do, visualizing myself driving this car and having fun doing it.

But there’s more to the story. The car was not given to me. The owner (a multi-millionaire) leased it and gave it to me to drive. It was my responsibility to come up with $1100 each month which included the insurance and the lease payment. That wasn’t easy with the feast or famine sales job I had.

Be Careful of What You Ask For

A few months later, in the parking lot of a pool hall where I was hanging out (a place few respectable Porsche owners would want to go), someone mangled the rear window wiper and kicked off the driver’s side view mirror. I didn’t have the $350 deductible to replace them.

I was living in an apartment complex where I was parking a $75,000 car in the parking lot. One day someone smashed the side window in a failed attempt to steal the car stereo. About a month later, I got a flat tire, but I couldn’t afford to replace it, so I drove around on the spare donut tire until I finally turned the car back in to the owner, a mere six months after I got it. It was in bad shape, and I was glad to be done with it.

The Moral of The Story

What I should have asked for was an income that allowed me to own a Porsche as well as maintain it. Instead, I asked to drive one down I-10 listening to a Dire Straits cassette, which I did. I got what I asked for.

About 20 years later, I’m looking at my hypnotherapy appointments for the week and things are looking slow. I’m feeling just a bit of anxiety. I check my email and someone I hadn’t talked to in a long time sends me a link to a Tony Robbins video. It’s a good video where Robbins talks about the use of “incantations”, which are affirmations with lots of emotion. I wrote down verbatim one that he uses, and it goes like this: “The abundance of God’s wealth is circulating in my life now. It’s wealth flows to me in avalanches of abundance. All my needs and desires and goals are met instantaneously by Infinite Intelligence where I am one with God and God is everything. ” (By the way this is something I still say every day.)

After writing this down and tweaking it a bit to match my personal belief system, I proclaimed my version of this affirmation with all the passion and energy I could muster. I also added, “My passion is helping people. People that I can help are calling me for hypnotherapy appointments.”

Within two hours two people called me to book appointments. Was it a coincidence? Maybe, but it didn’t feel like it.

I began to wonder: Why are so many of us afraid to ask for what we want and what we need?

As children we ask incessantly for what we want. Then we grow up, learn how we think the world really works, and stop asking because of resignation, cynicism, fear of rejection and fear of disappointment. Sometimes we are taught, “If someone offers to give you something you should politely decline.”

What if everyone started asking, or even demanding, what they wanted, including: an end to poverty and war, quality schools, a working health care system, health, wealth, happiness, love?

Maybe it’s all true: Ask and you will receive. Knock and the door will be opened. Think and grow rich. What you focus on expands. When you visualize you materialize. The how’s are the domain of the universe. Energy goes where attention flows. You become what you think about.

Every once in a while, I make an attempt to go back to being naive. I try to go back and re-consider the things I learned in my 20’s not as truths, but as possibilities. Such as:

· I can get what I want /need even though I might not deserve it. (check out my podcast Episode 426: What You Deserve Has Got Nothing to Do with It.)

· It’s ok for me to ask repeatedly for what I want / need because I might just get it.

· I can get what I want / need even if I don’t have the money for it.

· I might not have to work hard for what I want and need. Maybe I’ll get it just because I asked for it.

· I can take action to get what I want/need even if I don’t do it perfectly.

· The Universe, God, Infinite Intelligence, whatever you want to call it, wants to help me get what I want and need.

· Maybe, just maybe, I am the Creative Power in the flesh. Maybe I do have the power to manifest whatever I want quickly, possibly instantaneously and I just don’t know it or learned how to do that yet.

· Maybe I don’t have to worry. Maybe I just need to ask and believe. Maybe worry and anxiety is the problem when I perceive that I’m not getting what I want.

It’s not easy to train your mind to have faith in your ability to create what you want when it looks like it’s not going to happen to you. But at 64 years old, I’m still in training. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Thanks for listening, I appreciate you. Are you having trouble believing you can get what you want? Are you having trouble taking the actions you need? If so, I invite you to request a complimentary consultation to explore if working together is the best path forward for you. You can do that by going to tedmoreno.com/contact. I’ll get back to you within 48 hours.

I have two quotes for you this week. First one is from Norman Vincent Peale:

“The great secret of getting what you want from life is to know what you want and believe you can have it.”

Here’s the second one: “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.” That’s Oprah Winfrey.

Have a great day!

Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

Are you having trouble believing you can get what you want? Are you having trouble taking the actions you need? If so, request a complimentary consultation to explore if working with Ted is the best path forward for you. You can do that by going to tedmoreno.com/contact.  Ted will get back to you within 48 hours.

 

5 Hidden Costs of Living with Chronic Anxiety – Episode 438

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I’ve long realized that many people who have chronic anxiety aren’t aware that they have it. They will chalk it up to stress, or some other physical ailment. If they go to their doctor for, let’s say, digestive issues, they will be given a prescription that might be helpful but often times won’t address the root cause of the problem which is chronic anxiety, which is often diagnosed as an anxiety disorder.

Anxiety, especially if it’s chronic, (persistent or constantly recurring), can present or show up as many different symptoms which may not be recognizable as anxiety. According to the Journal of Affective Disorders 11.5% of the population experiences mild to severe anxiety symptoms but does not recognize having any symptoms.

 

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I’m not suggesting that every stomachache, episode of depression or tendency to want to have more alcoholic drinks than you should is a sign of anxiety, but if you are consistently experiencing any of these things, for example, you should assess your daily level of anxiety.

As you might know, anxiety can be defined as intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, and sweating, are a few of the signs that your body is having what is called the “fight flight response”, which is a severe reaction to stress and which has evolved as a survival mechanism, enabling people and some animals to react quickly to life-threatening situations. According to the ADAA which is the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illnesses in the US, affecting 40 million adults; that’s 19 % of the population age 18 and older, every year. Even though anxiety disorders are highly treatable, only 37 % of these suffering seek treatment. Maybe they don’t feel they need treatment, maybe they feel they can deal with it, or maybe they are not aware of the price they pay to live with anxiety.

As an example, the global annual direct cost of anxiety disorders has been estimated to be up to $6.5 trillion, or 2.08 % of all healthcare-related expenditures according to the Journal of Affective Disorders.

There are costs to the chronic activation of this survival mechanism we know as anxiety. Here are 5 that you may not realize because they are often hidden.

1. Happiness. It’s hard to be happy when you are anxious and fearful. Reduced life satisfaction, reduced psycho-social functioning, and greater stress are the consequences of chronic anxiety. In addition, individuals that suffer from anxiety disorders often have other psychiatric disorders, the most common being depression, which is pretty much the opposite of happiness right? One cost that you will pay for your chronic anxiety is impaired happiness and mental health.

2. Lower quality of health. Digestive disturbances, impaired sleep, a reduced ability to rest, relax and be calm, and chronic pain in the body can be the consequences of chronic anxiety or an anxiety disorder. Ever heard of the gut brain connection? When your body is in the fight flight stress response, your digestive system can slow down or be shut down entirely. The neurotransmitters and hormones released when we have anxiety and stress can negatively impact gut motility (the ability of the gut to move waste through the body) and also affect the delicate balance of gut bacteria. If your digestion is not in balance and not healthy, food is not being absorbed, it’s staying in your stomach too long, and it’s causing upset stomach distress which can make you even more anxious.

Chronic anxiety can also negatively impact your sleep and I would suggest that for many people this is the first symptom of anxiety that they’ll become aware of but not recognize as anxiety related. People who are in a constant state of anxiety are hypervigilant, which is an elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you. If your body and mind feel constantly under threat, your body will have real problems falling or staying asleep.

The mind body connection is powerful, and research has shown for a long time that what you think and feel can cause physical symptoms in the body including pain. Prolonged levels of stress hormones can result in

feeling weak or tired, headaches and stomach distress as we just discussed. The chronic tension of anxiety can result in physical pain in the body such as neck and back pain.

A lower health related quality of life is a hidden cost of chronic anxiety.

3. Work and academic performance. Irritability, lack of focus, being distracted by worries, and fear of failure are just a few of the negative impacts that anxiety can have on your job performance. Social anxiety can stop you from networking with other professionals for greater opportunity. Chronic anxiety can keep you from engaging in public speaking or making the presentations that can move you forward in your career, causing career stagnation. In addition, the impact of needing to miss work to deal with chronic anxiety can cause obvious work issues as well.

The effect of anxiety on academic performance can be hidden as well. According to the Economic and Social Research Council, “anxious individuals find it harder to avoid distractions and take more time to turn their attention from one task to the next than their less anxious peers.” In addition: “anxiety had more effect on how much effort it took to perform a task than on how well the task was actually performed. In other words, anxiety often produced “hidden costs” that were not apparent in performance.” For many that deal with test anxiety, that cost is well known and experienced.

4. Unhealthy coping habits. Human beings will do what they can to avoid pain and discomfort. If you don’t have healthy comping strategies to deal with anxiety, you might turn to unhealthy coping habits which may include substance abuse, avoidance, self-harm, and negative self-talk such as shaming and blaming yourself. Substance abuse could include drinking, drugs, sex, gambling, or emotional eating or binge eating. These behaviors in turn can impact your health, job and relationships. 5. Chronic anxiety is expensive. According to the National Institute of Health, The average estimated total medical cost for individuals diagnosed with any anxiety disorder was $6,475. That’s just the medical cost for anxiety and doesn’t include the cost of treatment for co-morbidities that accompany anxiety, such as gut problems, sleep problems, and addressing body pain. It doesn’t include missed time from work, lower work productivity and lost

opportunity costs. And you can’t really put a price on the negative impact on happiness, your relationship or how you feel about yourself.

So, in closing, if you are not doing anything about your anxiety and just trying to power through and deal with it, you might be paying a higher price than you know. And, if you don’t think you have anxiety, but resonate with some or all of what I’ve said, well, you might want to think again.

What can you do about anxiety? I’ve posted a lot of podcasts about how to deal with anxiety. You can go to Tedmoreno.com/podcast and search for anxiety. But here are a few essential things you want to do:

· Give yourself more downtime, more relaxation time, and more time to enjoy life. Laugh more.

· Take a good look at your alcohol and caffeine intake: Both alcohol and caffeine can make anxiety worse and cause mood shifts.

· Take care of your body: Make sure to get enough sleep, don’t skip meals and eat good food. Get exercise, even if it’s just walking, this will help you get out of your of your head and into your body as well as release tension from the body.

· Try mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, tai chi.

· Use breathwork, which are different breathing techniques that can help reduce anxiety and stress.

· Get a massage or acupuncture to calm the body and the nervous system.

And of course, if after todays’ episode you’re asking yourself if hypnotherapy can help you reduce anxiety and the price you pay for having it, I’d like to offer you a one-time complimentary consultation. Well talk about what’s going on, I’ll answer any questions you might have and if you are ready, we’ll schedule your first hypnotherapy session. You can request your consultation by going to tedmoreno.com/contact.

And if you want to read a blog post of this episode with links to more resources go to Tedmoreno.com/blog.

Thank you for listening today and here is this episode’s quote. You may have heard this before, by Franklin D. Roosevelt:

The only thing we have to hear is fear itself.

Take care of yourself and we’ll talk soon.
Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

Anxiety, especially if its chronic, can show up as many different symptoms that may not be recognizable as anxiety. Ten percent of the population has symptoms of anxiety but doesn’t even know that’s what they are experiencing. In this important episode, Ted talks about the 5 costs of living with chronic anxiety that are often hidden, leading those who have anxiety to avoid addressing their challenge or to try to power though and “deal” with it, not understanding the price that they and their loved ones pay. If you or someone you know is suffering from chronic anxiety and its cost, please listen to this episode or share it. If you are interested in exploring hypnotherapy as a tool to overcome anxiety, request a complimentary consultation: go to tedmoreno.com/contact and Ted will get back to you within 48 hours.

Creating a Morning Ritual: 25 Awesome Things to Do – Episode P437

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It has been suggested by people much smarter than me that what you do first thing in the morning has a tremendous impact on how the rest of the day goes.

I totally agree for two reasons: Number one: For about the first half hour after you wake up, you are in a state of hypnosis. That means that your mind is open and suggestible, so what you think and do first thing in the morning not only gets impressed upon your subconscious mind but has a powerful impact on your day.

Number two: Starting the day intentionally is one of the most powerful things you can do to have a better life. Most people start the day without any intention of who they want to be, what they hope to accomplish and what they want their day to be like. Having the intention as to what you want to create that day is the first step to manifestation.

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Do you get up first thing in the morning and start complaining?

· “God I’m so tired!”

· “I hate getting up!”

· “I hate my job!”

Imagine what messages are being sent to your subconscious mind.

Are you one of those people that immediately start to worry:

· “Oh man, what’s going to happen today?”

· “I hope nothing goes wrong…

· “I just know it’s going to be one of those days…

Worrying first thing in the morning is a great way to program your mind for worry and fear. Remember, worry is a prayer for what you don’t want.

And of course, there are those that first thing in the morning, pick up their cell phones or turn on the tv to the negative news to see who was murdered in their neighborhood overnight or what so-and-so politician said that pisses you off. This is the worst type of negative programming.

These are NOT awesome things to do first thing in the morning.

What you want to do is create a morning ritual that becomes a habit so that you do it automatically and reap the benefits of intentionally starting your day in a powerful way. Now if you spend any time on Instagram or Facebook this is a popular topic of discussion now. But, to toot my own horn, I’ve been preaching the power of a morning ritual for 15 years. In fact, this podcast started as a blog post that I wrote way back in 2011.

A morning ritual is simply something you do first thing in the morning that empowers you, that puts you in a good headspace, and that leaves you feeling energized but calm and ready to take on the day.

It can be as short and simple as 15 minutes of meditation or prayer. It can be a yoga workout or a walk on the treadmill or outside. It could be doing a little journaling. But it must work for you, or you won’t do it. I know some folks need to get up really early; try to do something.

So, here’s some ideas for starting your day. Pick one or two that you think will work for you and try them out. Give yourself some time to work this out. Write down what sounds good to you. Then, start with something, even if it’s just one thing, every morning. You don’t have to do the same thing each day, you can alternate. A good idea is to go to bed already knowing what you will do the next morning.

You will feel the difference it makes when you choose consciously and intentionally what you want to bring into the gift of your brand-new day.

1. Get up earlier. Getting up earlier gives you more day and more peace and quiet. You also give yourself more time to do some of the things you want to do. Start by setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier.. Don’t get up at the last minute and then rush around stressed out trying to get to where you need to be. It’s not worth the extra 15 minutes of sleep.

2. Drink a big glass of water. You’ve gone 7 or 8 hours without drinking anything. Start by hydrating your body. Some people put a little lemon juice in their water. I put a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in mine. Have some water on your nightstand.

3. Make your first thought of the day a positive thought. The night before, write down the positive thought that you want to have as the first thought of the day. “It’s going to be a good day!” or “Glad I’m alive!” or maybe a gratitude list. I have a list of affirmations that I read to focus my mind on what I want to create. 4. Create your day. I got this from Dr. Joe Dispenza who was in the film “What The Bleep Do We Know!? Create your day first thing in the morning or the night before by imagining how you want your day to be. Say to yourself: “Today I will experience inspiration (or relaxation fun, etc.). Today I will attract things that inspire me. When they happen, I will know that I created it.” Believe you can affect the universe. Why not? It’s better than believing that you are a victim of fate and circumstance.

5. Read and visualize your goals. Your mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what is vividly imagined. The mind likes and moves towards what is known and familiar. Get your mind comfortable with your goals first thing in the morning by closing your eyes and seeing yourself doing what you want to do, having what you want to have and being who you want to be.

6. Pray or meditate. Get in touch with Infinite, the Divine, God or whatever you consider that to be. It could be as simple as sitting in a chair and breathing, or in a lotus position or on your knees. Use a candle, beads, rosary, incense, or chanting. Take time to inquire within. It’s said that when you pray, you talk to God and when you meditate, God talks to you.

7. Go outside. Let the sun shine it’s rays upon you. Breathe in the fresh morning air. Walk barefoot through the grass. Drink your coffee and eat your breakfast outside. If you normally do yoga in the living room, try doing it outside.

8. Do something in the garden. Water, weed, plant or harvest. Pick a tomato or a bunch of flowers for a vase. Or just sit there in amazement and wonder.

9. Do yoga or stretch. A flexible body means a flexible mind. You don’t want hardening of the attitudes. Stretching releases tension and toxins and gets you in touch with your body.

10. Read something inspiring. Religious books, your favorite inspirational authors, self-help books, or a short quote to ponder for the day. 11. Listen to music or your favorite app. Music stimulates the brain and awakens the emotions. Whatever makes you feel good, listen to it first thing in the morning. I do this every morning and I love it. Or find an app that you like such as the Calm App, the Waking Up App or the Ten Percent Happier Meditation App.

12. Write in your journal. Keep it positive. What have you learned recently? What is good in your life? Write a Gratitude list. Or, just quiet your mind and let it tell you what to write.

13. Take a walk. Greet the world as it wakes up while moving your body. Breathe deeply. Walk to Starbucks to get you out the door. Walk the dog. Walk where it’s beautiful if possible. I do this every morning if I can.

14. Ride a bike. There’s something about riding a bike that is freeing and joyful. Maybe because you did it as a kid.

15. Get some exercise. Exercising first thing in the morning jump starts your metabolism, giving you a sense of relaxed energy. It could be walking, lifting weights, Pilates, going to the gym, pushups and/or pull ups. Make it work for you. I’ll repeat that: Make it work for you. 16. Look at beautiful images. Fill your mind with beauty. Perhaps you have photos, or a great garden, or a picture book with incredible images. Give yourself a few minutes to take in the good stuff. 17. Do the magic that you do. If you are a writer, write. If you are a painter, paint. If you are a musician, make music. If you’re a singer, sing. If you are a dancer, dance. If you are a photographer…

18. Write a letter, send an email or a text message to someone you haven’t contacted for a while. Just to say hi.

19. Call someone you’ve been meaning to call or haven’t talked to in a while. “Hi, I know it’s first thing in the morning, and you’re probably getting ready for (work, school) but I just wanted to say that I really (miss you, love you, am thinking about you, remembering the good times, want to apologize, etc.) That’s all! Bye!”

20. Treat yourself to breakfast. If you usually fix your own stuff, go out and eat, connect with the world.

21. Fix your own breakfast. If you usually go out, then nurture yourself by feeding your own sweet self. 22. Make a donation. Write a check or go online. Make your first act of the day one of generosity.

23. Get in bed with your kids and smooch on them. Do a little snuggling with your partner before you get up.

24. Wear something that’s comfortable that makes you feel good. Get it ready the night before (ironing it or washing it). Dress for success!

25. Call in well. Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Say “Hi, I’m feeling too good to go to work today. I think I’ll hang out in the Rose Garden at the Huntington Botanical Gardens instead. See you tomorrow.” Ok, don’t do that if it’s going to get you in trouble. Instead, call in sick for a mental health day. We all need one occasionally.

Step out of the insanity of the daily grind by getting in touch with what is true and meaningful on a daily basis. Making a “first thing in the morning habit” out of just of few of these things can change your life.

I’ll be going on Instagram next week to make a couple of videos about my morning ritual. You can follow me at tedamoreno

Thanks for listening! If you need help getting up earlier or finding the motivation to start your morning ritual, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation today and explore if working together can be your best path forward. To request your complimentary consultation, go to tedmoreno.com/contact and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours. Here’s a quote for you from a song by someone I absolutely love, Joni Mitchell:

But the only thing I have to give
To make you smile, to win you with
Are all the mornings still to live
In morning Morgantown

Wishing you beautiful mornings,
Ted

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

What you do first thing in the morning has a tremendous impact on how the rest of the day goes. Creating the habit of a morning ritual can energize you, empower you, and put you in the right headspace to take on the day in a powerful way. In this episode, Ted gives you 25 awesome things that you can pick and choose to create an morning ritual that can  become the best part of your day!

If you need help getting up earlier or finding the motivation to start your morning ritual, book a complimentary consultation today and explore if working with Ted can be your best path forward. To request your complimentary consultation, go to tedmoreno.com/contact and Ted will get back to you within 48 hours.

The Top 5 Subconscious Blocks That Are Holding You Back – Episode 436

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Ted in Your Head Podcast
We all have things we want. Consciously, we have goals, desires, and outcomes we want to achieve. However, our subconscious mind, which is more than 75% of our mind, might have “programming” that is in conflict with what we are trying to achieve.  If that is the case, our subconscious mind will do what it can to stop us. That’s when we feel blocked. It’s that feeling that no matter how hard we try, we always seem to stop ourselves through self-sabotage, procrastination and giving up too soon.
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Listen to this podcast episode now >

In this episode, Ted reveals the top 5 subconscious blocks that could be working against you and holding you back from success, happiness and health. Be sure to check this one out!

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Are you feeling blocked but can’t figure out why? I’d like to extend to you a onetime complimentary consultation. If you are interested in exploring hypnotherapy and high performance coaching, go to tedmoreno.com/contact and I’ll get back to you within 48 hours to schedule your consultation.

How to Deal with the Winds of Change – Episode 435

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It’s been a while since my last podcast and there have been a few changes since then.

Listen to this podcast episode now:

Most significantly, a loss in my family (which I will discuss in a future podcast). There have been some changes in my business, and my oldest child is now driving and in college. If there’s one thing that’s one thing you can count on, things will change.

The last time I did a podcast on change was Episode 48 in 2019. We’ve had a pandemic since then. I was 59 years old. I just turned 64 last week. It’s 2024.

I remember when we went from rotary dial phones to push button, then to cordless. I got my first cell phone in 2005. That was cool.

I remember using LPs, (long playing records but everyone calls them vinyl now) to 8 track, to cassette, to CD, to iPod to streaming music. Those changes were easy, and fun.

But there are many changes that aren’t so easy to navigate. In my last podcast I talked about heartbreak, that’s a tough one. Loss, and the death of loved ones. Getting older, how about that one? Watching your loved ones get older, watching parents age. Reminds me of a line from a Bonnie Raitt song called Nick of Time:

I see my folks are getting on
And I watch their bodies change
I know they see the same in me
And it makes us both feel strange
No matter how you tell yourself
It’s what we all go through
Those lines are pretty hard to take
When they’re staring back at you.

The pace of change in our lives accelerates exponentially. I read recently that there has been more change in the last 30 years than in the last 300.

As 21st century humans must assimilate change and new information more rapidly than at any other time in history. Especially technological change, but also, birth and death, growth and decay, marriage and divorce, buying and selling, falling in love and falling out, getting hired, getting fired, getting on board and jumping off. Sometimes you make the choice and sometimes it’s made for you.

Change will happen whether you want it to or not. Make no mistake about it, it’s hard. Change is hard. Everything about our minds does not want to change. We are wired to seek the known, the familiar, the comfortable; this is how our minds keep us safe. The unknown represents danger. That’s where much of our anxiety and fear comes from. Much of the future seems unknown.

But, when you think about it, everything about the future is unknown. We trick ourselves into thinking that things will stay the same, that we know what will happen, and that’s part of the reason why it’s so hard because we don’t know what will happen, and most things in our lives won’t stay the same.

The flip side of that is that we seek change. We want to better our lives, we want to grow, we seek to improve our situation, make more money, become more capable, more skilled, have better relationships. We want and we need change.

So how can we deal with change? Or maybe a better question is, how can we prepare for change?

The truth is that for some changes, we can’t prepare. But we can prepare our minds and hearts for what may come. First, we want to realize that life is transitory. Things come and go. All things must pass, George Harrison said that. This is the nature of things. We will pass. We must accept this reality first and avoid any magical thinking that says otherwise.

Second you need to be ready to let go. It’s hard sometimes. Letting go of youth, letting go of people, friendships. Sometimes you have to say to yourself, I let this go, I release this thing, or I release this person.

Third, we need to practice being resilient. Constitute yourself as being able to roll with the changes. We can get annoyed or angry or indignant when things change inevitably. Those are normal human emotions and reasonable responses to changes you don’t like. But don’t live there. Practice accepting, allowing, and embracing change. Practice being peaceful in the face of change. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, that will help.

Fourth, cultivate wisdom. It’s never too early or too late to do this. See how life really is, not just how you think or would like it to be. Seek to be free from your own ego when you can, and you’ll get better at it. I always say that we think we live life but really, life lives us. Step back, be present, see the patterns of life. Get grounded in the reality of being human. Try to be happy to be alive and to be able to witness the changes such as the change of the seasons, the growth of your kids, and especially, your own growth.

I took a walk this morning and it was cloudy, and a cold wind was blowing. Soon it will rain. But I know that soon after that, it will be sunny and warm, and the flowers will bloom and the air will be fragrant. I want to be here for the changes, even for the hard ones. It’s ok, I know it’s going to be ok. I invite you to tell that to yourself a lot when you feel the winds of change blowing.

Here’s a quote for you: “Change is the law of life, and those who look only to the past and present are certain to miss the future” -John F. Kennedy.

Want to catch up on previous episodes? Click here >

If you are having trouble navigating the winds of change, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation with me so that we can explore if working together is your best path forward. To request your complimentary consultation, go to https://Tedmoreno.com/contact
and I’ll get back to you in 48 hours to schedule that.

 

Thanks for listening,

Ted