Quote of The Week
"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."
~Mark Twain (1835 – 1910) American author and humorist
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This is the time of the year when smokers start thinking about quitting. Standing out in the hot sun smoking is not fun, people are starting to exercise and think more about their health, and vacation time might mean time on an airplane when you can’t smoke.
One of my specialties is helping people quit smoking and chewing tobacco. I call my program “The Moreno Method for Freedom from Smoking”. Catchy, don’t you think? The goal of my program is to free you from from smoking so that you remain a permanent non-smoker for the rest of your life. Continue reading
There seem to be a lot of people these days looking for their life’s purpose. I googled “How to find your life’s purpose” and came up with 94 million results. I searched a few of the 94 million results and found that most involved writing stuff down, going back to childhood, what brings you joy, etc. When I was looking for my life’s purpose, none of those things helped.
If you are like a lot of people looking through the 94 millions results looking for clues as to how to find their life’s purpose, look no more. Here are five easy steps to finding your purpose, guaranteed. Now, you must follow these steps exactly to get this right. Continue reading
If there is one thing I’ve discovered about creating the kind of life that you want, it’s this: it happens daily. Your daily habits might be the most significant things you do that affect the quality of your life. Here are 10 daily habits to form that are easy to do but will change your life.
- Try to make your very first thought of the day a thought of gratitude or a positive thought. You are in hypnosis for the first half hour you are awake. Be careful of what suggestions you put into your mind at that time. You are what you think. (The Strangest Secret)
- Drink a full glass of water right after you wake up. Your body has gone 8 hours or more without water. This simple habit can help a lot of problems, such as sluggish digestion.
- Create a morning ritual. It might be getting up and going to the gym. It might be meditation, prayer or reading a book. It might be yoga or a morning walk. Find something to do first thing in the morning that sets a positive and healthy tone for the day. Tony Robbins calls it your “Hour of power” or “Thirty to thrive”.
- Everyday, ask yourself “What if today was the last day of my life?” Now try to get upset about the drive-through window guy forgetting your packet of hot sauce. Asking this question can put your problems in perspective. Life is short. Get used to the idea that you will not live forever and that each day is precious.
- Walk. Especially if you sit in a chair all day. Sitting all day is one of the most unhealthy things you can do, while walking is one of the best things you can do. Get up every hour and walk around for 5 minutes.
- Listen to music everyday. Especially while you are driving to and from work. Listening or playing music can have profound benefits for the body and the mind. Forget or limit the news, especially talk radio that makes you angry.
- Find some silent time just to be. Could be just 5 minutes, could be 20. Just sit, and clear your mind. Look out a window. It will be tempting to start thinking about things, but try to let your thoughts just flow by. Just be.
- Try to learn something everyday. Hear a word whose meaning you don’t know? Look it up. Not clear about why Korea is split in two? Find out. If you see a quote by Bertrand Russel and say “Who’s that?”, check it out. Wikipedia is a great resource for finding stuff out.
- Plan the next day the night before. This can be as simple as a list of things to do or as complex as putting tasks or activities into each hourly slot. Schedule in meals, phone calls, reading, breaks, whatever you need to get done that day. Jim Rohn said “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” Create in your mind the night before how you want the next day to be.
- When you lay down to sleep, make a conscious decision to “complete the day”. For many, when they put their head on the pillow at night, it’s a signal to their minds to start chattering. But this is the absolute worst time to solve problems, worry or figure stuff out. Instead, say to yourself “This is my time for rest and rejuvenation. I will not let any thoughts, problems or worries interfere with my good night’s sleep.” Then, just focus on your breathing. See how much better you sleep.
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Have you ever stood by the side of the highway and looked out over a magnificent vista? How does that make you feel? Does it bring you a sense of peace? How about a change in perspective?
Being outside in nature has a profound effect on our minds. Continue reading
This post was originally posted in March of 2010.
Being a hypnotherapist and small business coach is the longest job I’ve held, now going on 10 years and without a doubt, the most fulfilling job I’ve had. My story is one where I’ve had a lot of jobs. I used to feel bad about moving from job to job so often, and for not being able to decide about what I wanted to do. I used to really beat myself up at times.
In my search for meaningful work, I have sold books door to door. I’ve cleaned up horse poop in stables. I have herded cattle in Montana. Continue reading
One of the most fun and common ways to get hypnotized is to go the movies. When we see a movie, we believe what we’re seeing is really happening. We get scared, feel happy, and maybe even cry. We literally become hypnotized to the point that we forget that none of it is real. We are so caught up in the content of the movie, we forget about the context, which is the fact that we’re in a building, watching light projected onto a screen. (Hold that thought for a second…)
People that come to me really want only one thing: Liberation. Like all of us, they want to be liberated from thoughts, feelings, sensations or behaviors that don’t serve them. I help them be aware that none of those things is who they really are. I help them see that the things they want to be free from exist as the content of the mind: the ongoing, always changing stuff of the mind. That’s what minds do: they produce content, and we are trained and conditioned to look for content. We’re attached to content. If we can develop the awareness that as human beings we are hypnotized by the content of our minds, then we can see the truth of what’s going on, and see that we have a choice.
What’s the content of our lives? Beliefs, thoughts, feelings, everything we think we are: the past, our future goals, and the details of our life situations. So what’s the context? Like the screen in a movie, it’s the awareness that all this content is projected onto. The content is always changing but the awareness of the content is always present, even if you are unaware that you’re aware. And most of us are unaware of our awareness.
This is where we can lose our power. Just like watching a movie, we get hypnotized by all of this content. We get involved in the drama, the story. We become attached to it. We identify with it and we say this is who I am, this is what I believe. And we can become so invested in this content, so invested in what we believe and feel, that we may be willing to die or even kill for it.
Take anger, for example. Nobody ever really makes us angry. We make ourselves angry by thinking “It/he/she/ shouldn’t be like that.” The divide between how it is and how we think it should be is what creates anger for us. But how we think it should be is not real. It doesn’t exist. But our tendency is to believe that everything we think is true. But I’ve got news for you. Most of what we think is true is simply theory, belief, opinion, generalizations and habitual patterns of thinking.
Take fear. When we say “I am afraid”, we’ve now become the fear. Then we might say “I shouldn’t be afraid. Why am I afraid? I hate being afraid. I hate that thing that makes me afraid.” This is just more content. All we’re doing now is keeping the fear alive because what you resist persists because you are putting energy into it. The truth is, “I am aware of the emotion of fear, which will soon pass or fade.” What’s even closer to the truth is “I am awareness”. This is the context out of which all this content arises.
So we can look at anger or fear or any other negative emotions from the context of awareness. We can acknowledge “I’m having the experience of fear.” As humans, we will experience fear, of course, as well as courage, hope, despair etc. But instead of saying “I should not feel afraid”, we can stop shoulding all over ourselves. We can say “OK right now, I’m feeling fear and that’s what is. It’s ok to feel fear because I’m only human. And just because I’m feeling fear doesn’t mean that it has to stop me.”
What happens when we feel fear and we keep on going? Fear changes and starts to become courage, then confidence, then competence. It’s always changing. Because content is transitory.
How can we liberate ourselves from our mind stuff and identify more powerfully with the awareness of this content? (Which in my opinion is who we really are.) We can start by being the observer of our own process. We can notice when anger, worry or any other negative emotion, feeling or thought comes up. We can say “anger coming up” or “anxiety movie starting now”. We can disengage from “I don’t want or like what is happening now” and just be with what is going on within us, without judgment or wishing it was something else. Now we are no longer reacting. Now we can be responsible which means “able to respond.” That’s freedom, the ability to choose a response instead of reacting.
Here’s something to try that is very simple. It will take 5 minutes and will give you the chance to see your content in all its glory.
Find 5 minutes where you won’t be disturbed, put a candle on a table, light it and set a timer for 5 minutes. Focus on the candle flame. Very quickly, you’ll notice your focus being taken off the flame and drawn towards your mind’s content. It might look like this: “I don’t have time for this…I’m tired…There was something I needed to do…This reminds me of…that candle smells good…that person is such a …”
Just observe what is happening. Watch the stuff just roll on by without getting attached to it. This is the essence of meditation.
Let me ask you a question: what would happen if you were to do this every day for 5 minutes? I invite you to try it and see.
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Your companion on the path to Transformation,
One Valentines Day back in the 90s, I was out to dinner with a woman I had just started seeing. She had thoughtfully arranged for a card and a gift to be at the table when we arrived. We were sitting at a table that had a small electric lamp. As were talking, I noticed that if I moved my foot, it moved the cord to the lamp and the lamp would jiggle just a bit.
“Ooh!” I joked. “The lamp is haunted!”
My date then got very upset. “Can’t we be romantic here? Do you have to joke and cut up right now? You’re ruining it!” Continue reading
Do you ever get the feeling like you are being carried along by circumstance, expectations and habit over the stress cliff and into the overwhelm pit? Have you recently looked around you with the sneaking suspicion that insanity rules the day? Well, desperate times require desperate measures. Here’s 10 radical steps to help you avoid going over the edge even though it seems that everyone around you is. Continue reading